THE    HAND 


BUT  NOT  THE  HEART; 


OR,  THE 


LIFE-TRIALS  OF  JESSIE  LORING. 


BY  T.  S.  ARTHUR 


NEW    YORK: 
DERBY   &  JACKSON,  119   NASSAU  STREET. 

1858. 


F.NTEEED  according  to  Act  of  Congress,  in    the   year   1858,  by 

DERBY    &   JACKSON, 
In  the  Clerk's  Office  of  the  District  Court  for  the  South.-rn   District  of  New  York. 


W.  H.  TIXIOK,  Stereotyper.  Quo.  RUSSILL  &  Co.,  Printers. 


THE 


HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART. 


CHAPTER  I. 

"  PAUL  !"  The  young  man  started,  and  a  delicate 
flush  mantled  his  handsome  face,  as  he  turned  to 
the. lady  who  had  pronounced  his  name  in  a  tone 
slightly  indicative  of  surprise. 

"  Ah !  Mrs.  Denison,"  was  his  simple  response. 

"  You  seem  unusually  absent-minded  this  even 
ing,"  remarked  the  lady. 

"Do  I?" 

"Yes." 

"  You  have  been  observing  me  ?" 

"  I   could  not  help  it ;  for  every  time  my  eyes 


6       THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEABT  ;  OB, 

have  wandered  in  this  direction,  they  encountered 
you,  standing  in  the  same  position,  and  looking 
quite  as  much  like  a  statue  as  a  living  man." 

"How  long  is  it  since  I  first  attracted  your 
attention  ?"  inquired  the  person  thus  addressed, 
assuming  an  indifference  of  manner  which  it  was 
plain  he  did  not  feel. 

"  If  I  were  to  say  half  an  hour,  it  would  not  be 
far  wide  of  the  truth." 

"  Oh,  no  !  It  can't  be  five  minutes  since  I  came 
to  this  part  of  the  room,"  said  the  young  man, 
whose  name  was  Paul  Hendrickson.  He  seemed  a 
little  annoyed. 

"  Not  a  second  less  than  twenty  minutes,"  re 
plied  the  lady.  "  Your  thoughts  must  have  been 
very  busy  thus  to  have  removed  nearly  all  ideas  of 
time." 

"  They  were  busy,"  was  the  simple  reply.  But 
the  low  tones  were  full  of  meauino-. 

O 

Mrs.  Denison  looked  earnestly  into  her  compan 
ion's  face  for  several  moments  before  venturing  to 
speak  farther.  She  then  said,  in  a  manner  that 
showed  her  to  be  a  privileged  and  warmly  inter 
ested  friend— 

"  Busy  on  what  subject,  Paul  ?" 


THE   LIFE-TJSIALS    OF   JESSIE   LOEING.  7 

The  young  man  offered  Mrs.  Denison  his  arm, 
remarking  as  he  did  so — 

"  The  other  parlor  is  less  crowded." 

Threading  their  course  amid  the  groups  standing 
in  gay  conversation,  or  moving  about  the  rooms, 
Paul  Hendrickson  and  his  almost  maternal  friend 
souhgt  a  more  retired  position  near  a  heavily  cur 
tained  window. 

"  You  are  hardly  yourself  to-night,  Paul.  How 
is  it  that  your  evenly  balanced  mind  has  suffered 
a  disturbance.  There  must  be  something  wrong 
within.  You  know  my  theory — that  all  disturb 
ing  causes  are  in  the  heart." 

"  1  am  not  much  interested  in  mental  theories 
to-night — am  in  no  philosophic  mood.  I  feel  too 
deeply  for  analysis." 

"  On  what  subject,  Paul?" 

A  little  while  the  young  man  sat  with  his  eyes 
upon  the  floor;  then  lifting  them  to  the  face  of 
Mrs.  Denison,  he  replied. 

"  You  are  not  ignorant  of  the  fact  that  Jessie 
Loring  has  interested  me  more  than  any  maiden  I 
have  yet  seen  ?" 

I  am  not,  for  you  have  already  confided  to  me 
your  secret." 


8       THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT  ;  OK, 

"  The  first  time  I  met  her,  it  seemed  to  me  as  if 
I  had  come  into  the  presence  of  one  whose  spirit 
claimed  some  hidden  affinities  with  my  own."  I 
have  never  felt  so  strangely  in  the  presence  of  a 
woman  as  I  have  felt  and  always  feel  in  the  pres 
ence  of  Miss  Loring." 

"  She  has  a  spirit  of  finer  mould  than  most  wo 
men,"  said  Mrs.  Denison.  "I  do  not  know  her 
very  intimately ;  but  I  have  seen  enough  to  give 
me  a  clue  to  her  character.  Her  tastes  are  pure, 
her  mind  evenly  balanced,  and  her  intellect  well 
cultivated." 

"  But  she  is  only  a  woman." 

Mr.  Hendrickson  sighed  as  he  spoke. 

"  Only  a  woman !  I  scarcely  understand  you," 
said  Mrs.  Denison,  gravely.  "  /am  a  woman." 

"  Yes,  and  a  true  woman  !  Forgive  my  words. 
They  have  only  a  conventional  meaning,"  replied 
the  young  man  earnestly. 

"  You  must  explain  that  meaning,  as  referring  to 
Jessie  Loring." 

"  It  is  this,  only.  She  can  be  deceived  by  ap 
pearances.  Her  eyes  are  not  penetrating  enough 
to  look  through  the  tinsel  and  glitter  with  which 
wealth  conceals  the  worthlessness  of  the  man." 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS    OF   JESSIE    LOEINQ-.  9 

"  Ah !  you  are  jealous.     There  is  a  rival." 

"  You,  alone,  can  use  those  words,  and  not  excite 
my  anger,"  said  Hendrickson. 

"  Forgive  me  if  they  have  fallen  upon  your  ears 
unpleasantly." 

"  A.  rival,  Mrs.  Denison !"  the  young  man  spoke 
proudly.  "That  is  something  I  will  never  have. 
The  woman's  heart  that  can  warm  under  the  smile 
of  another  man,  is  nothing  to  me." 

"  You  are  somewhat  romantic,  Paul,  in  your  no 
tions  about  matrimony.  You  forget  that  women 
are  '  only'  women." 

"  But  I  do  not  forget*  Mrs.  Denison,  that  as  you 
have  so  often  said  to  me,  there  are  true  marriages 
in  which  the  parties  are  drawn  towards  each  other 
by  sexual  affinities  peculiar  to  themselves  ;  and 
that  a  union  in  such  cases,  is  the  true  union  by 
which  they  become,  in  the  language  of  inspiration, 
'  one  flesh.'  I  can  enter  into  none  other.  When  I 
first  met  Jessie  Loring,  a  spirit  whispered  to  me — 
was  it  a  lying  spirit  ? — >a  spirit  whispered  to  me — 
'  the  beautiful  complement  of  your  life !'  I  believed 
on  the  instant.  In  that  I  may  have  been  roman 
tic." 

"  Perhaps  not !"  said- Mrs.  Denison. 
1* 


10      THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  ;  OK, 

Hendrickson  looked  into  her  face  steadily  for 
some  moments,  and  then  said — 

"  It  was  an  illusion." 

"  Why  do  you  say  this,  Paul  ?  Why  are  you  so 
disturbed  ?  Speak  your  heart  more  freely." 

"  Leon  Dexter  is  rich.     I  am — poor !" 

"  You  are  richer  than  Leon  Dexter  in  the  eyes 
of  a  true  woman — richer  a  thousandfold,  though 
he  counted  his  wealth  by  millions."  There  were 
flashes  of  light  in  the  eyes  of  Mrs.  Denison. 

Hendrickson  bent  his  glance  to  the  floor  and  did 
not  reply. 

"  If  Miss  Loring  prefers  Dexter  to  you,  let  her 
move  on  in  her  way  without  a  thought.  She  is  not 
worthy  to  disturb,  by  even  the  shadow  of  her  pass 
ing  form,  the  placid  current  of  your  life.  But  I  am 
by  no  means  certain  that  he  is  preferred  to  you." 

"  He  has  been  at  her  side  all  the  evening,"  said 
the  young  man. 

"That  proves  nothing.  A  forward,  self-confident, 
agreeable  young  gentleman  has  it  in  his  power 
thus  to  monopolize  almost  any  lady.  The  really 
excellent,  usually  too  modest,  but  superior  young 
men,  often  permit  themselves  to  be  elbowed  into 
the  shade  by  these  shallow,  rippling,  made  up 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOKING.  11 

specimens  of  humanity,  as  you  have  probably  done 
to-night." 

"  I  don't  know  how  that  may  be,  Mrs.  Denison ; 
but  this  I  know.  I  had  gained  a  place  by  her 
side,  early  in  the  evening.  She  seemed  pleased,  I 
thought,  at  our  meeting ;  but  was  reserved  in  con 
versation — too  reserved  it  struck  me.  I  tried  to 
lead  her  out,  but  she  answered  my  remarks  briefly, 
and  with  what  I  thought  an  embarrassed  manner. 
I  could  not  hold  her  eyes — they  fell  beneath  mine 
whenever  I  looked  into  her  face.  She  was  evi 
dently  ill  at  ease.  Thus  it  was,  when  this  self- 
confident  Leon  Dexter  came  sweeping  up  to  us 
with  his  grand  air,  and  carried  her  off  to  the 
piano.  If  I  read  her  face  and  manner  aright, 
she  blessed  her  stars  at  getting  rid  of  me  so 
opportunely." 

"I  doubt  if  you  read  them  aright,"  said  Mrs. 
Denison,  as  her  young  friend  paused.  "You  are 
too  easily  discouraged.  If  she  is  a  prize,  she  is 
worth  striving  for.  Don't  forget  the  old  adage — 
'  Faint  heart  never  won  fair  lady.' " 

Paul  shook  his  head. 

"  I  am  too  proud  to  enter  the  lists  in  any  such 
contest,"  he  answered.  "  Do  you  think  I  could  beg 


12  THE   HAND   BUT   NOT   THK   HEART',   OR, 

'for  a  lady's  favorable  regard  ?  No !  I  would  hang 
myself  first!" 

"  How  is  a  lady  to  know  that  you  have  a  prefer 
ence  for  her,  if  you  do  not  manifest  it  in  some 
way  3"  asked  Mrs.  Denison.  "  This  is  being  a  little 
too  proud,  my  friend.  It  is  throwing  rather  too 
much  upon  the  lady,  who  must  be  wooed  if  she 
would  be  won." 

"  A  lady  has  eyes,"  said  Paul. 

"  Granted." 

"  And  a  lady's  eyes  can  speak  as  well  as  her  lips. 
If  she  likes  the  man  who  approaches  her,  let  her  say 
BO  with  her  eyes.  She  will  not  be  misunderstood." 

"  You  are  a  man,"  replied  Mrs.  Denison,  a  little 
impatiently,  "and,  from  the  beginning,  man  has 
not  been  able  to  comprehend  woman !  If  you  wait 
for  a  woman  worth  having  to  tell  you,  even  with 
her  eyes,  that  she  likes  you,  and  this  before  you 
have  given  a  sign,  you  will  wait  until  the  day  of 
doom.  A  true  woman  holds  herself  at  a  higher 
price !" 

There  was  silence  between  the  parties  for  the 
space  of  nearly  a  minute.  Then  Paul  Hendrickson 
said — 

"  Few  women  can  resist  the  attraction  of  gold. 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS    OF   JESSIE   LOSING.  13 

Creatures  of  taste — lovers  of  the  beautiful — fond  of 
dress,  equipage,  elegance — I  do  not  wonder  that  we 
who  have  little  beyond  ourselves  to  offer  them,  find 
simple  manhood  light  in  the  balance." 

And  he  sighed  heavily. 

"  It  is  because  true  men  are  not  true  to  them 
selves  and  the  true  women  Heaven  wills  to  cross 
their  paths  in  spring-time,  that  so  many  of  them  fail 
to  secure  the  best  for  life-companions  !"  answered 
Mrs.  Denison.  "  Worth  is  too  retiring  or  too  proud 
Either  diffidence  or  self-esteem  holds  it  back  in 
shadow.  I  confess  myself  to  be  sorely  puzzled  at 
times  with  the  phenomenon.  Why  should  the  real 
man  shrink  away,  and  let  the  meretricious  fop  and 
the  man  '  made  of  money '  win  the  beautiful  and 
the  best  ?  Women  are  not  such  fools  as  to  prefer 
tinsel  to  gold — the  outside  making  up  to  the  inner 
manhood  !  Neither  are  they  so  dim-sighted  that 
they  cannot  perceive  who  is  the  man  and  who  the 
*  fellow.'  My  word  for  it,  if  Miss  Loring's  mind 
was  known,  you  have  a  higher  place  therein  than 
Dexter." 

Just  then  the  two  persons  of  whom  they  were 
speaking  passed  near  to  them,  Miss  Loring  on  the 
arm  of  Dexter,  her  face  radiant  with  smiles.  He 


14:      THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEABT J  OK, 

was  saying  something  to  which  she  .was  listening, 
evidently  pleased  with  his  remarks.  The  sight 
chafed  the  mind  of  Hendrickson,  and  he  said,  sar 
castically — 

"  Like  all  the  rest,  Mrs.  Denison  !  Gold  is  the 
magnet." 

"  You  are  in  a  strange  humor  to-night,  Paul," 
answered  his  friend,  "  and  your  humor  makes  you 
unjust.  It  is  not  fair  to  judge  Miss  Loring  in  this 
superficial  way.  Because  she  is  cheerful  and  social 
in  a  company  like  this,  are  you  to  draw  narrow 
conclusions  touching  her  heart-preferences  ?" 

"  Why  was  she  not  as  cheerful  and  as  social  with 
me,  as  she  is  now  with  that  fellow  ?"  said  the  young 
man,  a  measure  of  indignation  in  the  tones  of  his 
voice.  "  Answer  me  that,  if  you  please." 

"  The  true  reason  is,  no  doubt,  wide  of  your  con 
clusions,"  answered  Mrs.  Denison.  "  Genuine  love, 
when  it  first  springs  to  life  in  a  maiden's  heart,  has 
in  it  a  high  degree  of  reverence.  The  object  rises 
into  something  of  superiority,  and  she  draws  near  to 
it  with  repressed  emotions,  resting  in  its  shadow,  sub 
dued,  reserved,  almost  shy,  but  happy.  She  is  not 
as  we  saw  Miss  Loring  just  now,  but  more  like  the 
maiden  you  describe  as  treating  you  not  long  ago 


THE    LIFE-TKIALS    OF    JESSIE    LORING.  15 

with  a  strange  reserve,  which  you  imagined  cold 
ness." 

"  Woman  is  an  enigma,"  exclaimed  Hendrickson, 
his  thoughts  thrown  into  confusion. 

"  And  you  must  study,  if  you  would  comprehend 
her,"  said  Mrs.  Denison.  "  Of  one  thing  let  me 
again  assure  you,  my  young  friend,  if  you  expect 
to  get  a  wife  worth  having,  you  have  got  to  show 
yourself  in  earnest.  Other  men,  not  half  so  worthy 
as  you  may  be,  have  eyes  quite  as  easily  attracted 
by  feminine  loveliness,  and  they  will  press  forward 
and  rob  you  of  the  prize  unless  you  put  in  a  claim. 
A  woman  desires  to  be  loved.  Love  is  what  her 
heart  feeds  upon,  and  the  man  who  appears  to  love 
her  best,  even  if  in  all  things  he  is  not  her  ideal  of 
manhood,  will  be  most  apt  to  win  her  for  his  bride. 
You  can  win  Miss  Loring  if  you  will." 

"  It  may  be  so,'"  replied  the  young  man,  almost 
gloomily.  "  But,  for  all  you  say,  I  must  confess 
myself  at  fault.  I  look  for  a  kind  of  spontaneity  in 
love.  It  seems  to  me,  that  hearts,  created  to  become 
one,  should  instinctively  respond  to  each  other.  For 
this  reason,  the  idea  of  wooing,  and  contending,  and 
all  that,  is  painfully  repugnant." 

"  It  may  be,"  said  Mrs.  Dunham,  "  that  your 


16      THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  J  OK, 

pride  is  as  much  at  fault  in  the  case,  as  your  man 
hood.  You  cannot  bend  to  solicit  love." 

"  I  cannot— I  will  not !"  The  gesture  that  accom 
panied  this  was  as  passionate  as  the  surroundings 
would  admit. 

"  It  was  pride  that  banished  Lucifer  from  Hea 
ven,"  said  Mrs.  Denison,  "  and  I  am  afraid  it  will 
keep  you  out  of  the  heaven  of  a  true  marriage  here. 
Beware,  my  young  friend !  you  are  treading  on 
dangerous  ground.  And  there  is,  moreover,  a  con 
sideration  beyond  your  own  case.  The  woman  who 
can  be  happy  in  marriage  with  you,  cannot  be 
happy  with  another  man.  Let  us,  just  to  make  the 
thing  clear,  suppose  that  Jessie  Loring  is  the  woman 
whose  inner  life  is  most  in  harmony  with  yours. 
If  your  lives  blend  in  a  true  marriage,  then  will 
she  find  true  happiness  ;  but,  if,  through  your  fail 
ure  to  woo  and  win,  she  be  drawn  aside  into  a  mar 
riage  with  one  whose  life  is  inharmonious,  to  what 
a  sad,  weary,  hopeless  existence  may  she  not  be 
doomed.  Paul !  Paul !  There  are  two  aspects  in 
which  this  question  is  to  be  viewed.  I  pray  to 
Heaven  that  you  may  see  it  right." 

Further  conversation  was  prevented  by  the  near 
approach  of  others. 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOEING.  I'l 

"  Let  me  see  you,  and  early,  Paul,"  said  Mrs. 
Denison.  It  was  some  hours  later,  and  the  com 
pany  were  separating.  "  I  must  talk  with  you 
again  about  Miss  Loring." 

Hendrickson  promised  to  call  in  a  day  or  two. 
As  he  turned  from  Mrs.  Denison,  his  eyes  encount 
ered  those  of  the  young  lady  whose  name  had  just 
been  uttered.  She  was  standing  beside  Mr.  Dex 
ter,  who  was  officiously  attentive  to  her  up  to  the 
last  moment.  He  was  holding  her  shawl  ready  to 
throw  it  over  her  shoulders  as  she  stepped  from  the 
door  to  the  carriage  that  awaited  her.  For  a  mo 
ment  or  two  the  eyes  of  both  were  fixed,  and 
neither  had  the  power  to  move  them.  Then,  each 
with  a  slight  confusion  of  manner,  turned  from  the 
other.  Hendrickson  retired  into  the  nearly  desert 
ed  parlors,  while  Miss  Loring,  attended  by  Dexter, 
entered  the  carriage,  and  was  driven  away. 


18      THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART J  OK, 


CHAPTER    II. 

IT  was  past  the  hour  of  two,  when  Jessie  Loring 
stepped  from  the  carriage  and  entered  her  home. 
A  domestic  admitted  her. 

"  Aunt  is  not  waiting  for  me  ?"  she  said  in  a  tone 
of  inquiry. 

"  No  ;  she  has  been  in  bed  some  hours." 

"  It  is  late  for  you  to  be  sitting  up,  Mary,  and  I 
am  sorry  to  have  been  the  cause  of  it.  But,  you 
know,  I  couldn't  leave  earlier." 

She  spoke  kindly,  and  the  servant  answered  in  a 
cheerful  voice. 

"  I'll  sit  up  for  you,  Miss  Jessie,  at  any  time. 
And  why  shouldn't  I  ?  Sure,  no  one  in  the  house 
is  kinder  or  more  considerate  of  us  than  you  ;  and 
it's  quite  as  little  as  a  body  can  do  to  wait  up  for 
you  once  in  a  while,  and  you  enjoying  yourself." 

"Thank  you,  Mary.  And  now  get  to  bed  as 
quickly  as.  possible,  for  you  must  be  tired  and  very 
sleepy.  Good-night." 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOKING.  19 

"  Good  night,  and  God  bless  you  !"  responded  the 
servant,  warmly.  "  She  was  the  queen  there,  I 
know  ?"  she  added,  proudly,  speaking  to  herself  as 
she  moved  away. 

"  It  was  a  night  in  mid-October.  A  clear,  cool, 
moon-lit  radiant  night.  From  her  window,  Jessie 
could  look  far  away  over  the  housetops  to  a  dark 
mass  of  forest  trees,  just  beyond  the  city,  and  to 
the  gleaming  river  that  lay  sleeping  at  their  feet. 
The  sky  was  cloudless,  save  at  the  west,  where  a 
tall,  craggy  mountain  of  vapor  towered  up  to  the 
very  zenith.  After  loosening  and  laying  oif  some 
of  her  garments,  Miss  Loring,  instead  off  retiring, 
sat  down  by  the  window,  and  leaning  her  head 
upon  her  hand  looked  out  upon  the  entrancing  scene. 
She  did  not  remark  upon  its  beauty,  nor  think 
of  its  weird  attractions ;  nor  did  her  eyes,  after  the 
first  glance,  convey  any  distinct  image  of  external 
objects  to  her  mind.  Yet  was  she  affected  by  them. 
The  hour,  and  the  aspect  of  nature  wrought  their 
own  work  upon  her  feelings. 

She  sat  down  and  leaned  her  head  upon  her 
hand,  while  the  scenes  in  which  she  had  been  for 
the  past  few  hours  an  actor,  passed  before  her  in 
review  with  almost  the  vividness  of  reality.  Were 


20     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  J  OR, 

her  thoughts  pleasant  ones  ?  We  fear  not ;  for 
every  now  and  then  a  faint  sigh  troubled  her  breast, 
and  parted  her  too  firmly  closed  lips.  The  evening's 
entertainment  had  not  satisfied  her  in  something. 
There  was  a  pressure  on  her  feelings  that  weighed 
them  down  heavily. 

"  There  is  more  in  one  sentence  of  his  than  in  a 
a  page  of  the  other's  wordy  utterances."  Her  lips 
moved  in  the  earnestness  of  her  inward-spoken 
thoughts.  "How  annoyed  I  was  to  be  dragged 
from  his  side  by  Mr.  Dexter  just  as  I  had  begun  to 
feel  a  little  at  my  ease,  and  just  as  my  voice  had 
gained  something  of  its  true  expression.  It  is 
strange  how  his  presence  disturbs  me ;  and  how 
my  eyes  fall  beneath  his  gaze  !  He  seems  very 
cold  and  very  distant ;  and  proud  I  should  think. 
Proud !  Ah  !  has  he  not  cause  for  pride  ?  I  have 
not  looked  upon  his  peer  to-night.  How  that  man 
did  persecute  me  with  his  attentions  !  He  monopo 
lized  me  wholly !  Perhaps  I  should  be  flattered  by 
his  attentions — and,  perhaps,  I  was.  I  know  that  I 
was  envied.  Ah,  me !  what  a  pressure  there  is  on 
my  heart !  From  the  moment  I  first  looked  into  the 
face  of  Paul  Hendrickson,  I  have  been  an  enigma 
to  myself.  Some  great  change  is  wrought  in  me — 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS    OF  JESSIE  LOEHTG.  21 

some  new  capacities  opened — some  deeper  yearn 
ings  quickened  into  life.  I  am  still  Jessie  Loring, 
though  not  the  Jessie  Loring  of  yesterday.  •  Have 
I  completed  a  cycle  of  being  ?  Am  I  entering  upon 
another  and  higher  sphere  of  existence  ?  How  the 
questions  bewilder  me !  Clouds  and  darkness  seem 
gathering  around  me,  and  my  heart  springs  upward, 
half  in  fear,  and  half  in  hope!" 

An  hour  later,  and  Miss  Loring  still  sat  by  the 
closed  window,  her  eyes  upon  the  gleaming  river 
and  sombre  woods  beyond,  yet  seeing  them  not. 
The  tall  mountain  of  vapor,  which  had  arisen  like 
a  pyramid  of  white  marble,  no  longer  retained  its 
clear,  bold  outline,  but,  yielding  to  aerial  currents, 
had  been  rent  from  base  to  crown,  and  now  its 
scattered  fragments  lay  in  wild  confusion  along  the 
whole  sweep  of  the  western  horizon. .  Down  into 
these  shapeless  ruins  the  moon  had  plunged,  and  her 
pure  light  was  struggling  to  penetrate  their  rifts, 
and  pour  its  blessing  upon  the  slumbering  earth. 

A  rush  of  wind  startled  the  maiden  from  her 
deep  abstraction,  and,  as  it  went  moaning  away 
among  the  eaves  and  angles  of  the  surrounding 
tenements,  she  arose,  and  putting  off  her  garments, 
went  sighing  to  bed.  Dreams  visited  her  in  sleep, 


22      THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  ;  OK, 

and  in  every  dream  she  was  in  the  presence  of  Paul 
Hendrickson.  Very  pleasant  were  they,  for  in  the 
sweet  visions  that  came  to  her,  Paul  was  by  her 
side,  his  voice  filling  her  ears  and  echoing  in  her 
heart  like  tones  of  delicious  music.  They  walked 
through  fragrant  meadows,  by  the  side  of  glittering 
streams,  and  amid  groves  with  singing  birds  on  all 
the  blossomy  branches.  How  tenderly  he  spoke  to 
her ! — how  reverently  he  touched  with  his  manly 
lips  her  soft  white  hand,  sending  such  electric  thrills 
of  joy  to  her  heart  as  waking  maidens  rarely  know ! 
But,  suddenly,  after  a  long  season  of  blessed  inter 
course,  a  stern  voice  shocked  her  ears,  and  a  heavy 
hand  grasped  roughly  her  arm.  She  turned  in  fear, 
and  Leon  Dexter  stood  before  her,  a  dark  frown 
upon  his  countenance.  "With  a  cry  of  terror  she 
awoke. 

Day  had  already  come,  but  no  bright  sun  shone 
down  upon  the  earth,  for  leaden  clouds  were  in 
the  sky,  and  nature  was  bathed  in  tears.  It  was 
some  time  before  the  agitation  that  accompanied 
Miss  Loring's  sudden  awakening,  had  sufficiently 
subsided  to  leave  her  mind  composed  enough  to 
arise  and  join  the  family.  When  she  did  so,  she 
found  her  aunt,  Mrs.  Loring  and  her  cousins 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LORING.  23 

Amanda  and  Dora,  two  not  over  refined  school 
girls,  aged  fourteen  and  sixteen,  awaiting  her  ap 
pearance. 

"  You  are  late  this  morning,  Jessie,"  said  Mrs. 
Loring.  Then,  before  her  niece  had  time  to  reply, 
she  spoke  to  her  eldest  daughter —  "  Amanda,  ring 
the  bell,  and  order  breakfast  at  once." 

"  I  am  sorry  to  have  kept  you  waiting,  aunt 
Phoebe,"  replied  Jessie.  "  I  did  not  get  to  bed 
until  very  late,  and  slept  too  soundly  for  the  morn 
ing  bell." 

"  You  must  have  been  as  deeply  buried  in  the 
arms  of  Morpheus  as  one  of  the  seven  sleepers,  not 
to  have  heard  that  bell !  I  thought  Kitty  would 
never  stop  the  intolerable  din.  The  girl  seems  to 
have  a  passion  for  bell-ringing.  Her  last  place  was, 
I  fancy,  a  boarding-house." 

Mrs.  Loring  spoke  with  a  slight  shade  of  annoy 
ance  in  her  tones.  Her  words  and  manner,  it  was 
plain  from  Jessie's  countenance,  were  felt  as  a  re 
buke.  In  a  few  moments  the  breakfast  bell  was 
heard,  and  the  family  went  down  to  the  morning 
meal,  which  had  been  delayed  full  half  an  hour  be 
yond  the  usual  time. 

"  Had  you  a  pleasant  time  last  evening  ?"  inquired 


24     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT  J  OE, 

Mrs.  Loring,  after  they  were  seated  at  the  table, 
and  a  taste  of  the  fragrant  coffee  and  warm  cakes 
had  somewhat  refreshed  her  body,  and  restored  the 
tranquillity  of  her  feelings. 

"  Very,"  replied  Jessie  in  an  absent  way. 

"  Who  was  there  ?" 

"-  Oh !  everybody.  It  was  a  very  large  com 
pany." 

"  "Who  in  particular  that  I  know  ?" 

"  Mrs.  Compton  and  her  daughter  Agnes." 

"  Indeed !  "Was  Agnes  there  ?"  said  Mrs.  Loring, 
in  manifest  surprise. 

"  Yes  ;  and  she  looked  beautiful." 

"  I  didn't  know  that  she  had  come  out.  Agnes 
must  be  very  young — not  over  seventeen.  I  am 
surprised  at  her  mother !  How  did  she  behave  her 
self?  Bold,  forward  and  hoydenish  enough,  I  sup 
pose  !  I  never  liked  her." 

"  I  did  not  observe  any  impropriety  of  conduct," 
said  Jessie.  "  She  certainly  was  neither  bold  nor 
forward." 

"Did  she  sing?" 

«  No." 

"Probably  no  one  asked  her."  Mrs.  Loring  was 
in  a  cynical  mood. 


THE    LIFE-TKIALS    OF   JESSIE    LOEING.  25 

"  Yes ;  I  heard  her  asked  more  than  once  to 
sing." 

"  And  she  refused  ?" 

"  Yes." 

"  Affectation  !  She  wanted  urging.  She  has 
had  peculiar  advantages,  and  is  said  to  possess  fine 
musical  ability.  I  have  heard  that  she  is  a  splen 
did  performer.  No  doubt  she  was  dying  to  show 
off  at  the  piano." 

"  I  think  not,"  said  Jessie,  for  I  heard  her  say  to 
Mrs.  Compton,  in  an  under  tone,  '  I  can't,  indeed, 
dear  mother !  The  very  thought  of  playing  before 
all  these  people,  makes  my  heart  tremble.  I  can 
play  very  well  at  home,  when  my  mind  is  calm ; 
but  I  should  blunder  in  the  first  bar  here.'  ' 

"  Children  should  be  left  at  home,"  said  Mrs.  Lor- 
ing.  "That  is  iny  doctrine.  This  crowding  of 
young  girls  into  company,  and  crowding  out  grown 
up  people,  is  a  great  mistake ;  but,  who  else  was 
there  ?  What  gentlemen  ?" 

"  Mr.  Florence." 

Mrs.  Loring  curled  her  flexible  lip. 

"  Mr.  Dexter." 

"Leon?" 

"  Yes." 

2 


26     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  ;  OB, 

The  eyes  of  Jessie  drooped  as  those  of  her  aunt 
were  directed  in  close  scrutiny  to  her  face. 

"  He's  a  catch.  Set  your  cap  for  him,  Jessie, 
and  you  may  ride  in  your  own  carriage."  There 
was  a  vulgar  leer  in  Mrs.  Loring's  eye.  The 
color  rose  to  Jessie's  face,  but  she  did  not 
answer. 

"Did  he  show  you  any  attentions?"  inquired 
the  aunt. 

"Yes.  He  was  quite  as  attentive  as  I  could 
desire." 

"  Indeed !  And  what  does  '  as  you  could  desire,' 
mean  ?" 

Jessie  turned  her  face  partly  away  to  hide  its 
crimson. 

"  Ah,  well ;  I  see  how  it  is,  dear.  You  needn't 
blush  so.  I  only  hope  you  may  get  him.  lie  was 
attentive,  then,  was  he  ?" 

"  I  have  no  reason  to  complain  of  his  lack  of  at 
tentions,"  said  Jessie,  her  voice  cold  and  firm. 
"They  would  have  been  nattering  to  most  girls. 
But,  I  do  not  always  give  to  compliments  and 
'company  manners,'  the  serious  meanings  that 
some  attach  to  them." 

"  Jessie,"  Mrs.  Loring  spoke  with  sudden  serious- 


THE   LIFE-TBIAL8   OF   JESSIE   LOKING.  27 

ness ;  "  take  my  advice,  and  encourage  Leon  Dex 
ter.  I  am  pleased  to  know  that  you  were  so  much 
an  object  of  his  attentions  as  your  remarks  lead  me 
to  infer.  I  know  that  you  will  make  him  a  good 
wife ;  one  of  whom  he  can  never  be  ashamed  ;  and 
I  know  that  a  union  with  him  will  give  you  a  proud 
position." 

"  Will  you  waive  the  subject,  at  present,  dear 
aunt  ?"  said  Jessie,  with  a  pleading  look,  at  the 
same  time  glancing  covertly  towards  her  cousins, 
who  were  drinking  in  every  word  with  girlish 
eagerness. 

"Oh,  by  all  means,"  answered  Mrs.  Loring,  "if 
it  is  in  the  least  annoying.  I  was  forgetting  myself 
in  the  interest  felt  for  your  welfare.' 

"  And  so  Mr.  Dexter  showed  you  marked  atten 
tions  last  evening  ?"  said  Jessie's  aunt,  joining  her 
in  the  sitting-room,  after  Amanda  and  Dora  had 
left  for  school. 

"  Did  I  say  so,  aunt  ?"  inquired  Jessie,  looking 
into  her  relative's  face. 

"  You  said  enough  to  make  the  inference  clear, 
my  child." 

"Well,  Aunt  Phoabe,  he  was  attentive — more 
so,  by  a  great  deal,  than  I  desired  !" 


28      THE  HAUD  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  J  OB, 

"  Than  you  desired !"  There  was  unfeigned  sur 
prise  in  the  voice  of  Mrs.  Loring.  "  What  do  you 
mean,  Jessie  ?" 

"  The  man's  position  is  all  well  enough ;  but  the 
man  himself  is  not  altogether  to  my  liking." 

"  You  must  have  grown  remarkably  fastidious 
all  at  once.  Why,  girl !  there  isn't  a  handsomer 
man  to  be  found  anywhere.  He  is  a  noble  looking 
fellow !  Where  are  your  eyes  ?" 

"  The  man  that  a  wife  has  to  deal  with,  is  the 
man  of  the  spirit,  Aunt  Phoebe — the  real  man. 
The  handsome  outside  is  nothing,  if  the  inner  man 
is  not  beautiful !"  Jessie  spoke  with  a  sudden  glow 
of  feeling. 

"  Stuff  and  nonsense,  child  !"  said  Mrs.  Loring, 
impatiently.  "Stuff  and  nonsense!"  she  repeated, 
seeing  that  her  niece  looked  steadily  into  her  face. 
"  What  do  you  know  of  the  man  of  the  spirit,  as  you 
call  it  ?  And,  moreover,  what  possesses  you  to  in 
fer  that  Mr.  Dexter's  inner  man  is  not  as  beautiful 
as  the  outer  ?" 

"The  soul  looks  forth  from  the  eyes,  and  mani 
fests  its  quality  in  the  tones  of  the  voice,"  replied 
Jessie,  a  fine  enthusiasm  illuminating  her  beautiful 
face.  "  No  man  can  hide  from  us  his  real  charac- 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOKING.  29 

ter,  unless  we  let  self-love  and  self-interest  draw  an 
obscuring  veil." 

"  You  are  a  strange  girl,  Jessie — a  very  strange 
girl !"  Mrs.  Loring  was  fretted.  "  What  can  you 
mean  ?  Here,  a  splendid  fortune  promises  to  be 
poured  into  your  lap,  and  you  drawv  your  garments 
aside,  hesitating  and  questioning  as  to  whether  the 
golden  treasure  is  worth  receiving  !  I  am  half 
amazed  at  your  conduct !" 

"  Are  you  weary  of  my  presence  here,  Aunt 
Phoebe  ?"  said  Jessie,  a  tremor  in  her  low  failing 
tones. 

"  Now  give  me  patience  with  the  foolish  girl !" 
exclaimed  Mrs.  Loring,  assuming  an  angry  aspect. 
"  What  has  come  over  you,  Jessie  ?  Did  I  say 
anything  about  being  wearied  with  your  pres 
ence  ?  Because  I  manifest  an  unusual  degree 
of  interest  in  your  future  welfare,  am  I  to  be 
charged  with  a  mean,  selfish  motive  ?  I  did  not 
expect  this  of  you." 

"  Dear  aunt !  forgive  me !"  said  Jessie,  giving 
way  to  tears.  "  My  feelings  are  unusually  dis 
turbed  this  morning.  Late  hours  and  the  excite 
ment  of  company  have  made  me  nervous.  As  for 
Mr.  Dexter,  let  us  pass  him  by  for  the  present. 


30      THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART;  OR, 

He  has  not  impressed  me  as  favorably  as  you  seem 
to  desire." 

«  But  Jessie  " 

"  Spare  me,  dear  aunt !  If  you  press  the  sub 
ject  on  me  now,  you  will  only  excite  disgust  where 
you  hope  to  create  a  favorable  impression.  I  have 
had  many  opportunities  of  close  observation,  and 
failed  not  to  improve  them.  The  result  is  " 

Jessie  paused. 

"  "What  ?"  queried  her  aunt. 

"  That  the  more  narrowly  I  scan  him  the  less 
I  like  him.  He  is  superficial,  vain  and  selfish." 

"  How  do  you  know  ?" 

"  I  cannot  make  manifest  to  your  eyes  the  signs 
that  were  clear  to  mine.  But  so  I  have  read 
him." 

/      -  '     *    . 

"  And  read  him  with  the  page  upside  down,  my 
word  for 'it,  Miss  Jessie  Loring  !" 

Jessie  answered  only  with  a  sigh,  and  when  her 
aunt  still  pressed  her  on  the  subject,  she  begged  to 
be  spared,  as  she  felt  nervous  and  excited.  So, 
leaving  the  sitting  room,  she  retired  to  her  own 
apartment,  to  gather  up,  and  unravel,  if  possible, 
the  tangled  thread  of  thought  and  feeling. 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOKING.  31 


CHAPTER  III. 

"THERE  is  a  gentleman  in  the  parlor,  Miss 
Jessie,"  said  Mary,  the  chambermaid,  opening  the 
door  and  presenting  her  plain,  but  pleasant  face. 
It  was  an  hour  after  Miss  Loring  had  left  her  aunt 
in  the  sitting  room. 

«  Who  is  it,  Mary  ?" 

The  girl  handed  her  a  card. 

On  it  was  engraved,  PAUL  HENDRICKSON.  The 
heart  of  Jessie  Loriug  gave  a  sudden  leap,  and  the 
blood  sprung  reddening  to  her  very  temples. 

"  Say  that  I 'will  be  with  him  in  a  few  minutes." 

The  servant  retired,  and  Jessie,  who  had  arisen 
as  she  received  the  card,  sat  down,  so  overcome 
by  her  feelings,  that  she  felt  all  bodily  strength 
depart. 

"Paul  Hendrickson!"  she  said,  whispering  the 
name.  "  How  little  did  I  expect  a  visit  from  him ! 
After  our  first  interview  last  evening,  he  seemed 
studiously  to  avoid  me." 


32     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  J  OK, 

Then  she  arose  hastily,  but  in  a  tremor,  and 
made  some  hurried  changes  in  her  dress.  She  was 
about  leaving  her  room,  when  Mary  again  pre 
sented  herself. 

"  Another  gentleman  has  called,"  and  she  handed 
another  card.  Jessie  took  it  and  read  LEON  DEXTEK  ! 

Could  anything  have  been  more  inopportune! 
Jessie  felt  a  double  embarrassment. 

"  The  fates  are  against  me  I  believe  !"  she  mur 
mured,  as,  after  a  few  moments  of  vigorous  expres 
sion  of  feeling,  she  left  her  room,  and  descended  to 
the  parlor,  entering  with  a  light  but  firm  tread. 
Dexter  stepped  quickly  forward,  giving  his  hand 
in  the  most  assured  style,  and  putting  both  her  and 
himself  entirely  at  ease.  She  smiled  upon  him 
blandly,  because  she  felt  the  contagion  of  his  man 
ner.  Hendrickson  was  more  formal  and  distant, 
and  showed  some  embarrassment.  He  was  not  at 
ease  himself,  and  failed  to  put  Jessie  at  ease. 

After  all  were  seated,' Dexter  talked  freely,  while 
Hendrickson  sat,  for  the  most  part  silent,  but,  as 
Jessie  felt,  closely  observant.  Light  and  playful 
were  the  subjects  introduced  by  Mr.  Dexter,  and 
his  remarks  caused  a  perpetual  ripple  of  smiles  to 
sparkle  over  the  countenance  of  Miss  Loring.  But 


THE   LIFE-TKIALS    OF   JESSIE   LORING.  33 

whenever  Mr.  Hendrickson  spoke  to  her,  the  smiles 
faded,  and  she  turned  upon  him  a  face  so  changed 
in  expression  that  he  felt  a  chill  pervade  his  feel 
ings.  She  did  not  mean  to  look  grave  ;  she  did 
not  repress  the  smiles  purposely  ;  there  was  neither 
coldness  nor  repulsion  in  her  heart.  But  her  senti 
ments  touching  Mr.  Hendrickson  were  so  different 
from  those  entertained  for  Mr.  Dexter ;  and  her 
estimation  of  his  character  so  widely  variant  that 
she  could  not  possibly  treat  him  with  the  smiling 
familiarity  shown  towards  the  other.  Yet  all  the 
while  she  was  painfully  conscious  of  being  misun 
derstood.  If  she  had  met  Mr.  Hendrickson  alone, 
she  felt  that  it  must  have  been  different.  A  degree 
of  embarrassment  might  have  existed,  but  she 
would  not  have  been  forced  to  put  on  two  opposite 
exteriors,  as  now,  neither  of  which,  correctly  inter 
preted  her  state  of  mind,  or  did  justice  to  her 
character. 

"  I  did  not  see  much  of  you  last  evening,  Mr. 
Hendrickson.  "What  were  you  doing  with  your 
self?"  she  remarked,  trying  to  be  more  familiar,  and 
giving  him  a  look  that  set  his  pulses  to  a  quicker 
measure.  Before  he  could  answer,  Dexter  said, 
gaily,  yet  with  covert  sarcasm. 
2* 


34      THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  J  OR, 

s  Oh,  Mr.  Hendrickson  prefers  the  society  of  el 
derly  ladies.  He  spent  the  evening  in  sober  con 
fabulation  with  Mrs.  Denison.  I  have  no  doubt, 
she  was  edified.  I  prefer  maid  to  matron,  at  any 
time.  Old  women  are  my  horror." 

Too  light  and  gay  were  the  tones  of  Dexter  to 
leave  room  for  oifence.  Hendrickson  tried  to  rally 
himself,  and  retort  with  pleasant  speech.  But  his 
heart  was  too  deeply  interested, — and  his  mood  too 
serious  for  sport.  His  smile  did  not  improve  the 
aspect  of  his  countenance;  and  if  he  meant  his 
words  for  witticisms,  they  were  perceived  as  sar 
casms.  Jessie  was  rather  repelled  than  attracted — 
all  of  which  he  saw. 

Conscious  that  he  was  wholly  misrepresenting 
himself  in  the  young  lady's  eyes,  and  feeling,  more 
over,  that  he  was  only  spoiling  pleasant  company, 
Hendrickson,  after  a  brief  call,  left  the  field  clear 
to  his  rival.  Jessie  accompanied  him  to  the  door. 

"  I  shall  be  pleased  to  see  you  again,  Mr.  Hen 
drickson,"  she  said,  in  a  tone  of  voice  that  betrayed 
something  of  her  interest  in  him. 

He  turned  to  look  into  her  eyes.  They  sustained 
his  penetrating  gaze  only  for  a  moment  and  then 
her  long  lashes  lay  upon  her  crimsoning  cheeks. 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LORING.  35 

"  Not  if  I  show  myself  as  stupid  as  I  have  been 
this  morning,"  said  the  young  man. 

"  I  have  never  thought  you  stupid,  Mr.  Hen- 
drickson." 

"  I  am  dull  at  times,"  he  said,  hesitating,  and 
slightly  confused.  "Good  morning!"  he  added, 
abruptly,  and  turned  off  without  another  look  into 
the  eyes  that  were  upon  him ;  and  in  which  he 
would  have  read  more  than  his  heart  had  dared  to 
hope  for. 

"  What  a  boor !"  exclaimed  Dexter  as  Miss  Lor- 
ing  returned  to  the  parlor. 

"  Oh,  no,  not  a  boor,  sir.  Far,  very  far  from 
that,"  answered  the  young  lady  promptly. 

"  Well,  you  don't  call  him  a  gentleman,  do 
you  ?" 

"  I  have  seen  nothing  that  would  rob  him  of  the 
title,"  said  Miss  Loring. 

"  A  true  gentleman  will  put  on  a  gentlemanly 
exterior ;  for  he  is  courteous  by  instinct — and  es 
pecially  when  ladies  are  present.  A  true  gentle 
man,  moreover,  is  always  at  his  ease.  Self-posses 
sion  is  one  of  the  signs  of  a  well  bred  man.  Hen- 
drickson  is  not  well  bred.  Any  one  who  has  been 
at  all  in  society,  can  perceive  this  at  a  glance.  Did 


36     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HKAET  ;  OB, 

you  notice  how  he  played  with  his  watch  chain ; 
crossed  his  legs  in  sitting ;  took  out  his  pencil  case, 
and  moved  the  slide  noisily  backwards  and  for 
wards  ;  ran  his  fingers  through  his  hair ;  exhibited 
his  pocket-handkerchief  half-a-dozen  times  in  as 
many  minutes,  and  went  through  sundry  other  per 
formances  of  which  no  well  bred  man  is  guilty  ?  I 
marvel,  that  a  young  lady  of  your  refinement  can  of 
fer  a  word  of  apology  for  such  things.  I  see  in  it  only 
kindness  of  heart ;  and  this  shall  be  your  excuse." 

So  gaily  were  the  closing  sentences  uttered  ;  yet 
with  so  manifest  a  regard  softening  the  final  words, 
that  Miss  Loring's  rising  anger  against  the  young 
man,  went  down  and  was  extinguished  in  a  pleas 
ing  consciousness  of  being  an  object  of  marked  fa 
vor  by  one  whose  external  attractions,  at  least,  were 
of  the  highest  order. 

"  But  the  subject  is  not  agreeable  to  either  of  us, 
Miss  Loring,"  said  Dexter  in  a  voice  pitched  to  a 
lower  tone,  and  with  a  softer  modulation.  "  I  did 
not  expect  to  find  a  visitor  here  at  so  early  an  hour ; 
and  I  fear  that  I  have  permitted  myself  to  experi 
ence  j  ust  a  shade  of  annoyance.  If  I  have  seemed 
ill-natured,  pardon  me.  It  is  not  my  nature  to  find 
fault,  or  to  criticise.  I  rather  prefer  looking  upon 


THE   LIFE-TKIALS   OF   JESSIE   LORING.  37 

the  bright  side.  Like  Sir  Joshua  Keynolds,  '  I  am 
a  wide  liker.'  There  are  times,  you  know,  in 
which  we  are  all  tempted  to  act  in  a  way  that 
gives  to  others  a  false  impression  of  our  real  char 
acters." 

"No  one  is  more  conscious  of  that  than  I  am," 
replied  Miss  Loring.  "  Indeed,  it  seems  often,  as  if 
I  were  made  the  sport  of  adverse  influences,  and 
constrained  to  act  and  to  appear  wholly  different 
from  what  I  desire  to  seem.  There  are  some  of  life's 
phenomena,  Mr.  Dexter,  that  puzzle  at  times  my 
poor  brain  sorely." 

"  Don't  puzzle  over  such  things,  Miss  Loring," 
said  Mr.  Dexter  ;  "  I  never  do.  Leave  mysteries 
to  philosophers;  there  is  quite  enough  of  enjoyment 
upon  the  surface  of  things  without  diving  below, 
into  the  dark  caverns  of  doubt  and  vague  specula 
tion.  I  never  liked  the  word  phenomenon." 

"  To  me  it  has  ever  been  an  attraction.  I  always 
seem  standing  at  some  closed  door,  hearkening  to 
vague  sounds  within  -and  longing  to  enter.  The 
outer  life  presents  itself  to  me  as  moving  figures  in 
a  show,  and  I  am  all  impatient,  at  times,  to  dis 
cover  the  hidden  machinery  that  gives  such  won 
derful  motion. 


38      THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART;  OK, 

"  Morbid ;  all  morbid  !"  answered  Dexter,  in 
a  lively  manner.  "  Dreams  in  the  place  of  realities, 
Miss  Loring.  Don't  philosophize  ;  don't  speculate  ; 
don't  think — at  least  not  seriously.  Your  thinkers 
are  always  miserable.  Take  life  as  it  is — full  of 
beauty,  full  of  pleasure.  The  sources  of  enjoyment 
are  all  around  us.  Let  us  drink  at  them  and  be 
thankful." 

"  You  are  a  philosopher,  I  perceive,"  said  Miss 
Loring,  with  a  smile,  "and  must  have  been  a 
thinker,  in  some  degree,  to  have  formed  a  theory." 

"  I  am  a  cheerful  philosopher." 

"Are  you  always  cheerful,  Mr.  Etexter?"  in 
quired  Miss  Loring.  .; 

"Always." 

"Never  feel  the  pressure  of  gloomy  states? 
Have  no  transitions  of  feeling— sudden,  unaccount 
able  ;  as  if  the  shadow  of  a  cloud  had  fallen  over 
your  spirit?" 

"  Never." 

"  You  are  singularly  fortunate." 

"Am  I,  Miss  Loring?"  and  the  young  man's 
voice  grew  tender  as  he  leaned  nearer  to  the 
maiden. 

"  I  am  blessed  with  a  cheerful  temper,"  he  added, 


THE   LIKE-TKIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOKING.  39 

"  and  I  cultivate  the  inheritance.  It  is  a  good  gift 
— blessing  both  the  inheritor  and  his  companions. 
Neither  men  nor  women  are  long  gloomy  in  rny 
presence." 

"  I  have  often  noticed  your  smiling  face  and  plea 
sant  words,"  said  Jessie,  "  and  wondered  if  you 
moved  always  in  a  sunny  atmosphere." 

"  You  are  answered  now,"  he  replied. 

A  little  while  there  was  silence.  Jessie  did  not 
feel  the  repulsion  which  had  at  first  made  Dexter's 
presence  annoying ;  and  as  he  drew  his  chair  closer, 
and  leaned  still  nearer,  there  was  on  her  part  no 
instinctive  re'eeding. 

"  Yes,"  she  murmured  softly,  almost  dreamily, 
"  I  am  answered." 

"  Jessie."  The  young  man's  breath  was  on  her 
cheek — his  hand  touching  her  hand.  She  remained 
sitting  very  still — still  as  an  effigy. 

"  Jessie."  How  very  low,  and  loving,  and  musi 
cal  was  the  voice  that  thrilled  along  the  chords  of 
feeling  !  "  Jessie ;  forgive  me  if  I  have  mistaken 
the  signs."  His  hand  tightened  upon  hers.  She 
felt  spell-bound.  She  wished  to  start  up  and  flee. 
But  she  could  not.  There  was  a  strange,  over 
shadowing,  half  paralyzing  power  in  the  man's  pre- 


40     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT  J  OK, 

sence.  Without  a  purpose  to  do  so,  she  returned 
the  pressure  of  his  hand.  It  was  enough. 

"Thanks,  dear  one!"  he  murmured.  "I  was 
sure  I  had  not  mistaken  the  signs.  The  heart  has 
language  all  its  own." 

Still  the  maiden's  form  was  motionless ;  and  her 
hand  lay  passive  in  the  hand  that  now  held  it  with 
a  strong  clasp:  Yet,  how  wildly  did  her  heart 
beat!  How  tumultuous  were  all  her  feelings! 
How  delicious  the  thrill  that  pervade  •  her 
being ! 

"  I  love  you,  Jessie  !  Dear  one !  Angel !  And 
by  this  token  you- are  mine  !"  said  Dexter,  his  voice 
full  of  passion's  fine  enthusiasm.  And  he  raised 
her  hand  to  his  lips,  kissing  it  half-wildly  as  he 
did  so. 

"  The  gods  have  made  this  hour  propitious  !"  he 
added,  as  he  drew  her  head  down  against  his  bosom, 
and  laid  his  ardent  lips  to  hers.  "  Bless  you,  dar 
ling  !  Bless  you !"  he  went  on.  "  My  life  is 
crowned  this  hour  with  its  chiefest  delight !  Mine ! 
mine !" 

Yet,  not  a  word  had  parted  the  maiden's  lips, 
thus  spirited  away,  as  it  were,  out  of  herself,  and 
strangely  betrayed  into  consenting  silence.  She 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOEING.  41 

had  neither  given  her  yea  nor  her  nay — and  dared 
as  little  to  speak  the  one  as  the  other. 

Almost  bereft  of  physicial  power,  she  sat  with 
her  face  hidden  on  the  bosom  of  this  impulsive 
lover,  for  many  minutes.  At  last,  thought  cleared 
itself  a  little,  and,  with  a  more  distinct  self-con 
sciousness,  were  restored  individuality  and  strength. 
She  raised  herself,  moved  back  a  little,  and  looked 
up  intt)  the  face  of  Mr.  Dexter.  The  aspect  of  her 
own  was  not  just  what  the  young  man  had  expected 
to  see.  He  did  not  look  upon  a  countenance  blush 
ing  in  feweet  confusion  ;  nor  into  eyes  radiant  with 
loving  glances ;  but  upon  a  pale  face,  and  eyes 
whose  meanings  were  a  mystery.  Slowly,  yet  per 
sistently,  did  she  withdraw  her  hand  from  his  clasp, 
while  slowly  her  form  arose,  until  it  gained  an  erect 
position. 

"  You  have  taken  me  off  my  guard,  Mr.  Dex 
ter,"  she  said,  a  tremor  running  through  her  voice. 

"  Say  not  a  word,  Jessie !  say  not  a  word !  I  am 
only  too  happy  to  have  taken  your  heart  captive. 
You  are  none  the  less  my  own,  whether  the  means 
were  force  or  stratagem." 

"  Speak  not  too  confidently,  sir.     Have  I  " 

Mr.  Dexter  raised  his  hand  quickly,  and  uttered 


42     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  ;  OK, 

a  word  of  warning.  But  were  silent  again.  Then 
the  young  man  said,  his  manner  growing  deferen 
tial,  and  his  voice  falling  to  a  low  and  subdued 
tone — 

"Miss  Loring,  I  here  offer  you  heart  and  hand ; 
and  in  making  this  offer,  do  most  solemnly  affirm 
that  you  are  precious  to  me  as  life. — The  highest 
boon  I  can  crave  from  heaven  is  the  gift  of  your 
dear  self." 

As  he  spoke,  he  extended  his  hand  towards  her. 
But  her  own  did  not  stir  from  her  lap,  where  it  lay 
as  still  as  if  paralyzed. 

"  This  is  no  light  matter,  Mr.  Dexter,"  she  said  ; 
still  with  the  huskiness  and  tremor  which  had 
before  veiled  her  voice.  "  I  cannot  decide  on  a 
thing  of  such  infinite  moment,  in  hot  blood  and  on 
the  spur  of  a  sudden  occasion.  You  must  give  me 
time  for  reflection." 

"  The  heart  knows  no  time.  It  neither  reasons 
nor  deliberates ;  but  speaks  out  upon  the  instant, 
as  yours  has  already  done,  Miss  Loring,"  replied 
Dexter,  with  reviving  ardor. 

"Time,  Mr.  Dexter,  time  !  I  must  have  time !" 
said  Jessie,  almost  imploringly. 

But  Dexter,  who  saw  that  time  might  turn  the 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF  JESSIE   LOSING.  43 

scale  against  him,  resolved  to  press  his  suit  then  to 
the  final  issue. 

"  I  cannot  accept  delay,"  he  answered,  throwing 
the  most  winning  tenderness  into  his  voice.  "  And 
why  should  you  hesitate  a  moment  ?" 

"  My  aunt " murmured  Jessie. 

"Consult    her    with    all    maidenly    formality v 
That  is  right — that  is  prudent,"  he  said,  leaning 
again  very  near  to  her.     "  But,  ere  we  separate 
this  morning,  let  me  ask  one  question — I  am  not 
disagreeable  to  you  ?" 

"  Oh,  no,  no,  Mr.  Dexter !"  was  the  quick, 
earnest  reply. 

"  Nor  is  your  heart  given  to  another  ?" 

"  No  lips  but  yours  have  ever  uttered  such 
words  as  have  sounded  in  my  ears  this  day." 

"  And  no  lips,  speaking  in  your  ears,  can  ever 
utter  such  words  with  half  the  heart-warmth  that 
were  in  mine,  dear  Jessie!  True  love  is  ever 
ardent,  and  cannot  wait.  I  must  have  a  sign  from 
you  before  I  leave.  Ton  need  not  speak  ;  but  lay 
your  hand  in  mine,"  and  he  reached  his  hand  to 
wards  her. 

It  was  a  moment  of  strong  trial.  Again  her 
thoughts  fell  into  confusion.  Again  a  wild  deli- 


44      THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKTJ  OK, 

cious  thrill  swept  like  a  strain  of  music  through  all 
her  being.  She  was  within  the  sphere  of  an  irre 
sistible  attraction.  Her  hand  fluttered  with  a 
sudden  impulse,  and  then,  moving  towards  the 
hand  of  Dexter,  was  seized  and  covered  with 
kisses. 

"  Thanks,  dearest !"  he  murmured.  "  Thanks  ! 
By  this  token  I  know  that  I  am  loved — by  this 
token  you  are  mine— mine  forever !  Happy,  happy 
day  !  It  shall  be  the  golden  one  in  all  the  calen 
dar  of  my  life." 

With  the  ardor  of  passion  he  drew  her  to  his 
side  again,  and  clasping  his  arm  around  her,  kissed 
her  with  all  the  fervor  of  an  entranced  lover — 
kissed  her  over  and  over  again,  wildly. 

All  this  was  not  mere  acting  on  the  part  of  Mr. 
Dexter.  He  did  love  the  sweet  young  girl  as 
truly  as  men  of  his  peculiar  character  are  capable 
of  loving.  He  was  deeply  in  earnest.  There  was 
a  charm  about  Jessie  Loring  which  had  captivated 
him  in  the  beginning.  She  was  endowed  with 
rich  mental  gifts,  as  well  as  personal  beauty  ;  and 
with  both,  Dexter  was  charmed  even  to  fascination. 
Superficial,  vain  of  his  person,  and  self-satisfied 
from  his  position,  he  had  not  been  much  troubled 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOKING.  45 

by  doubts  touching  his  ability  to  secure  the  hand 
of  Miss  Loring,  and  by  his  very  boldness  and 
ardor,  won  his  suit  ere  she  had  sufficient  warning 
of  his  purpose  to  throw  a  mail-clad  garment  around 
her. 

Dexter  remained  for  only  a  short  period  after 
this  ardent  declaration.  He  had  penetration 
enough  to  see  that  Miss  Loring  was  profoundly 
disturbed,  and  that  she  desired  to  be  alone.  He 
saw  with  concern  that  her  countenance  was  losing 
its  fine  warmth,  and  that  the  lustre  of  her  eyes  was 
failing.  Her  look  was  becoming  more  inverted 
each  moment.  She  was  trying  to  read  her  heart, 
and  understand  the  writing  inscribed  thereon.- 

"  I  will  see  you  this  evening,  Jessie,"  said  Mr. 
Dexter,  on  rising  to  depart.  Their  intercourse 
had  already  been  touched  with  a  shade  of  em 
barrassment. 

Miss  Loring  forced  a  smile  and  simply  inclined 
her  head.  He  bent  forward  and  kissed  her.  Pas 
sively — almost  coldly  was  the  salute  received. 
Then  they  parted.  A  film  of  ice  had  already 
formed  itself  between  them. 


THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  ;  OB, 


CHAPTER  IV. 

ON  leaving  Mr.  Dexter,  Jessie  Loring  almost  flew 
to  her  room,  like  one  escaping  from  peril.  Closing 
and  locking  the  door,  she  crossed  the  apartment, 
and  falling  forward  against  the  bed,  sunk  down 
upon  her  knees  and  buried  her  face  in  a  pillow. 
She  did  not  pray.  There  was  no  power  in  her  to 
lift  a  petition  upwards.  But  weak,  in  bewilder 
ment  of  spirit  and  abandonment  of  will  she  bent  in 
deep  prostration  of  soul  and  body. 

It  was  nearly  an  hour  before  she  arose.  Very 
calm  had  her  mind  become  in  this  long  interval — 
very  calm  and  very  clear.  "With  the  plummet  line 
of  intense  thought,  quickened  by  keen  perception, 
she  had  sounded  the  depths  of  her  heart.  She 
found  places  there — capacities  for  loving — intense 
yearnings — which  had  remained  hidden  until  now. 
the  current  of  her  life  had  hitherto  run  smoothly 
in  the  sunshine,  its  surface  gleaming  and  in  breezy 
ripples.  But  the  stream  had  glided  from  the  open 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LORING.  47 

meadows  and  the  sunshine,  and  the  shadow  of  a 
great  rock  had  fallen  upon  it.  The  surface  was 
still  as  glass ;  and  now  looking  downward,  she 
almost  shuddered  as  sight  descended  away,  away 
into  bewildering  depths.  She  held  her  breath  as 
she  gazed  like  one  suspended  in  mid-air. 

"  Too  late !  too  late  !"  she  murmured,  as  she 
lifted  herself  up.  "  Too  late  1" 

Her  countenance  was  pale,  even  haggard.  There 
was  no  color  in  her  lips — her  eyes  were  leaden — • 
her  aspect  like  one  who  had  been  shocked  with  the 
news  of  a  great  calamity. 

Mrs.  Loring,  Jessie's  aunt,  had  been  informed  by 
the  servant  of  whom  she  made  inquiry,  as  to  the 
identity  of  the  gentleman  who  had  called  that 
morning  to  see  her  niece — or  at  least  as  to  the 
identity  of  one  of  them.  She  did  not  make  out 
by  the  servant's  description  the  personality  of  Mr. 
Hendrickson,  but  that  of  Mr.  Dexter  was  clear 
enough.  She  was  also  informed  that  the  one 
whose  name  she  could  not  guess,  made  only  a  brief 
visit,  and  that  Mr.  Dexter  remained  long,  and  was 
for  most  of  the  time  in  earnest  conversation  with 
Jessie.  Her  hopes  gave  her  conclusions  a  wide 
latitude.  She  doubted  not  that  the  elegant,  wealthy 


4:8      THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  J  OB, 

suitor  was  pressing  a  claim  for  the  hand  of  her 
niece. 

'"  Will  she  be  such  a  little  fool  as  to  throw  this 
splendid  chance  away  ?"  she  questioned  with  her 
self.  "  No — no ;"  was  the  answer.  "  Jessie  will 
not  dare  to  do  it !  She  is  a  strange  girl  in  some 
things,  and  wonderfully  like  her  mother ;  but  she 
will  never  refuse  Leon  Dexter,  if  so  lucky  as  to  get 
an  offer." 

Mrs.  Loring  heard  Mr.  Dexter  leave  the  house, 
and  with  expectation  on  tip-toe,  waited  for  Jessie 
to  join  her  in  the  sitting-room.  But  while  she  yet 
listened  for  the  sound  of  footsteps  on  the  stairs  be 
low,  her  ears  caught  the  light  rustle  of  Jessie's  gar 
ment  as  she  glided  along  the  passages  and  away  to 
her  own  chamber. 

"Something  has  taken  place  !"  said  Mrs.  Loring 
to  herself.  "  There's  been  a  proposal,  I'll  bet  my 
life  on't !  Why  didn't  the  girl  come  and  tell  me 
at  once  ?  Ain't  I  her  nearest  relative — and  haven't 
I  always  been  like  an  own  mother  to  her?  But  she's 
so  peculiar — just  as  Alice  used  to  be.  I  don't  be 
lieve  I  shall  ever  understand  her." 

And  Mrs.  Loring  fretted  a  little  in  her  moderate 
way,  not  being  capable  of  any  very  profound  emc- 


THE   LIFE-TKIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOKING.  49 

tion.  Ten,  fifteen,  twenty  minutes — half  an  hour  She 
waited  for  Jessie  to  appear.  But  there  was  no 
movement  in  the  neighborhood  of  her  chamber.  ' 

"  Didn't  Jessie  go  to  her  room,  after  the  gentle 
man  went  away.  ?"  asked  Mrs.  Loring,  speaking  to 
a  servant,  who  was  passing  down  the  stairs. 

"  Yes,  ma'am." 

"•  Is  she  there  now  ?" 

"  I  believe  so  ma'am.  I  haven't  seen  her  any 
where  about  the  house." 

The  servant  passed  on,  and  Mrs.  Loring  waited 
for  full  half  an  hour  longer.  Then,  unable  to  re 
press  impatient  curiosity,  she  went  to  Jessie's  room 
and  knocked  at  the  door.  Twice  she  knocked  be 
fore  there  was  a  sound  of  life  within.  Then  she 
heard  footsteps — a  bolt  was  withdrawn,  and  the 
door  opened. 

"  Jessie  !"  exclaimed  Mrs.  Loring,  "  how  white 
you  are  !  What  has  happened  ?" 

"  Come  in  dear  aunt  1"  said  Jessie,  "  I  have  been 
wanting  to  see  you  ;  but  had  not  yet  made  up  my 
mind  to  seek  you  in  the  sitting-room.  I  am  glad 
you  are  here." 

Mrs.  Loring  passed  in  and  Jessie  closed  the 
door. 

3 


50      THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT  J  OB, 

"  Take  this  seat  aunt,"  and  she  pointed  to  an 
easy-chair :  "  I  will  sit  here,"  drawing  a  lower 
one  close  to  that  which  Mrs.  Loring  had  taken. 

"  Now,  dear,  what  has  happened  ?"  Mrs.  Lor- 
ing's  curiosity  had  been  so  long  upon  the  stretch, 
that  she  could  ill  endure  delay. 

"  Will  you  listen  to  me  patiently,  Aunt  Phoabe  ?" 

There  was  a  calmness  of  manner  about  Jessie 
that  seemed  to  Mrs.  Loring  unnatural. 

"  Speak,  dear — you  will  find  me  all  attention." 

"  I  am  in  a — strait.  I  must  act ;  but  cannot 
of  my  own  reason,  determine  what  action  is 
right,"  said  Jessie,  "  you  must  think  for  *me,  and 
help  me  to  a  just  decision." 

"  Go  on  dear,"  urged  Mrs.  Loring. 

Then  as  briefly  and  as  clearly  as  possible,  Jessie 
related  all  that  had  passed  in  her  excited  interview 
with  Mr.  Dexter.  On  concluding,  she  said  with 
much  earnestness  of  manner: 

"  And  now,  Aunt  Phoebe,  what  I  wish  to  know 
is  this — will  Mr.  Dexter  be  warranted  in  regarding 
either  my  words  or  my  actions,  as  an  acceptance  of 
his  offer  ?" 

"  Certainly,"  was  the  unhesitating  reply  of  Mrs. 
Loring. 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOSING.  51 

"  Aunt  Pho3be  !" 

There  was  a  tone  of  anguish  in  the  voice  of  Jes 
sie  ;  and  her  pale  lips  grew  paler. 

"  Why,  what  can  ail  you,  child  ?"  said  Mrs  Lor- 
ing. 

"  I  had  hoped  for  a  different  decision.  Mr.  Dex 
ter  took  me  at  unawares.  In  a  certain  sense,  I  was 
mesmerized  by  the  stronger  action  of  his  mind, 
quickened  by  an  ardent  temperament.  Self-con 
sciousness  was  for  a  time  lost,  and  I  moved  and 
acted  by  the  power  of  his  will.  There  was  no  con- 
sentation  in  the  right  meaning  of  the  word,  Aunt 
Phoabe,  and  I  cannot  think  larn  bound." 

"  Bound,  fully,  in  word  and  act  Jessie,"  was  Mrs. 
Loring's  firmly  spoken  answer.  "  And  so  every 
one  will  regard  you.  Mr.  Dexter,  I  am  sure,  will 
not  admit  your  interpretation  for  an  instant.  He, 
it  is  plain,  looks  upon  you  as  affianced.  So  do 
I!" 

"  Oh,  aunt !  aunt !"  cried  Jessie,  clasping  her 
hands,  "  say  not  so  !  say  not  so  !  Knowing,  as  you 
do,  all  that  occurred,  even  to  the  utmost  particulars 
of  my  strange  position  in  the  interview,  how  can 
you  take  part  against  me  ?" 

"  Take  part  against  you,  clild  !    How  strangely 


52      THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  J  Oli, 

you  talk !  One  who  did  not  know  Mr.  Dexter, 
might  suppose  him  to  be  an  Ogre,  or  second  Blue 
Beard.  I  think  the  events  of  this  morning  the  most 
fortunate  of  your  life." 

"  While  I  fear  they  will  prove  most  disastrous," 
said  Jessie. 

"  Nonsense,  child  !  you  are  excited  and  nervous. 
There  is  always  something  novel  and  romantic  to  a 
young  girl  in  an  offer  of  marriage.  It  it  the  great 
event  of  her  life.  I  do  not  wonder  that  you  are 
disturbed — though  I  am  surprised  at  the  nature  of 
this  disturbance.  Time  will  subdue  all  this.  You 
have  a  beautiful  life  before  you,  darling  !  The 
cherished  bride  of  Leon  Dexter  must  tread  a  path 
of  roses." 

A  long  sigh  parted  the  lips  of  Miss  Loring,  and 
her  face,  to  which  not  even  the  faintest  tinge  of 
color  had  yet  returned,  bent  itself  downward.  She 
was  silent. 

"  You  leaned  your  face  against  him  ?"  said  Mrs. 
Loring. 

"  He  drew  my  head  down.  I  had  no  power  of 
resistance,  aunt.  There  was  a  spell  upon  my 
senses." 

"  You  did  not  reject  his  ardent  kisses?" 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF  JESSIE   LOSING.  53 

"  I  could  not." 

"  And  when  he  extended  his  hand,  and  asked  you 
to  lay  your  own  within  it,  as  a  sign  and  a  token  of 
love,  you  gave  him  the  sign  and  the  token.  Your 
hands  clasped  in  a  covenant  of  the  heart !  So  he 
regarded  the  act.  So  do  I ;  and  so  will  all  the 
world  regard  it.  Jessie,  the  die  is  cast.  You  can 
not  retreat  without  dishonor." 

"  Will  you  leave  me,  aunt  ?"  said  Jessie,  after  a 
long  silence.  Her  tones  were  sad.  "  I  am  very 
much  excited.  All  this  has  unnerved  me.  I  would 
like  to  be  alone  again." 

"  Better  come  down  into  the  sitting-room,"  re 
plied  Mrs.  Loring. 

"  No,  aunt.     You  must  let  me  have  my  way." 

"  Willful,  and  like  your  mother,"  said  Mrs.  Lor 
ing,  as  she  arose. 

"  Was  my  mother  willful  ?"  inquired  Jessie,  look 
ing  at  her  aunt. 

"  Sometimes." 

"  Was  she  happy  ?" 

"No.  I  do  not  think  she  ever  understood  or 
rightly  appreciated  your  father.  But,  I  should  not 
have  said  this.  She  was  a  beautiful,  fascinating 
young  creature,  as  I  remember  her,  and  your  father 


54:      THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  ;  OB, 

was  crazy  to  get  her.  Bufr  I  don't  think  they  were 
very  happy  together.  "Where  the  blame  lay  I  never 
knew  for  certain,  and  I  will  make  no  suggestions 
now." 

"  They  were  uncongenial  in  their  tastes,  perhaps," 
said  Jessie. 

"  Dear  knows  what  the  reason  was  !  But  she 
died  young,  poor  thing !  and  your  father  was  in  a 
sad  way  about  it.  I  thought,  of  course,  he  would 
marry  again.  But  he  did  not — living  a  widower 
until  his  death." 

"  Is  my  mother's  picture  very  much  like  her, 
Aunt  Phoebe?" 

"  Very  like  her ;  but  not  so  handsome." 

"  She  was  beautiful  ?" 

"  Oh,  yes  ;  and  the  reigning  belle  before  her  mar 
riage." 

Jessie  questioned  no  farther.  Her  aunt's  recol 
lections  of  her  mother  were  all  too  external  to 
satisfy  the  yearnings  of  her  heart  towards  that 
mother.  Often  had  she  sat  gazing  upon  the  picture 
which  represented  to  her  eyes  the  form  and  face  of 
a  parent  she  had  never  seen ;  and  sought  to  com 
prehend  some  of  the  meanings  in  the  blue  orbs 
that  looked  down  upon  her  so  calmly.  But  ever 


THE    LIFE-TRIALS    OF   JESSIE    LOEING.  55 

had  she  turned  away  with  vague,  unquiet,  restless 
feelings. 

"If  my  mother  had  lived  !"  she  would  sometimes 
say  to  herself,  "  she  could  comprehend  me.  Into 
her  ears  I  could  speak  words  that  now  sleep  on  my 
lips  in  perpetual  silence. 

"  Oh,  if  my  mother  were  alive  !"  sobbed  the 
unhappy  girl,  as  the  door  closed  on  the  retiring 
form  of  wordly-minded  Aunt  Phoabe.  "If  my 
mother  were  only  alive  ! 

"  Affianced !"  she  said  a  little  while  after,  as 
thought  went  back  to  the  interview  between 
herself  and  Mrs.  Loring  which  had  just  closed. 
"  Affianced  !  Yes,  that  was  the  word.  '  He  regards 
you  as  affianced,  and  so  do  I !'  How  completely 
has  this  web  invested  me !  Is  there  no  way  of 
escape  ?"  A  slight  shudder  went  through  her  frame. 
"Ah,  well,  well!" — low  and  mournfully — "It  may 
be  that  my  woman's  ideal  has  been  too  exalted,  and 
above  the  standard  of  real  men.  Mr.  Dexter  is 
handsome  ;  kind-hearted  enough,  no  doubt ;  moder 
ately  well  cultivated ;  rich,  elegant  in  manner, 
though  a  little  too  demonstrative  ;  and,  most  to  be 
considered,  loves  me — or,  at  least,  declares  himself 
mv  lover.  That  he  is  sincere  I  cannot  doubt.  His 


56      THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART;  OE, 

was  not  the  role  of  a  skillful  actor,  but  living 
expression.  I  ought  to  be  nattered  if  not  won  by 
the  homage  he  pays  me." 

Then  she  sat  down,  and  began  looking  into  her 
heart  again,  her  keen  vision  penetrating  to  its  far 
thest  recesses.  A  long  fluttering  sigh  breathed 
at  length  through  her  lips,  and  starting  up  she 
said, 

"  I  am  weak  and  foolish  !  Life  is  a  reality  ;  not 
a  cycle  of  dreamy  romance.  All  poetry  lies  in  the 
dim  distance — a  thing  of  memory  or  anticipation — 
the  present  is  invariably  prose.  How  these  vague 
ideals  do  haunt  the  mind  !  Love !  Love !  I  had 
imagined  something  deeper,  purer,  holier  than  any 
thing  stirring  in  my  heart  for  Leon  Dexter !  Was  I 
deceived  ?  Is  the  poet's  song  but  jingling  rhyme  ? — 
a  play  of  words  in  trancing  measure  ?  Let  me  bind 
back  into  quietude  these  wildly  leaping  impulses, 
and  clip  the  wings  of  these  girlish  fancies.  They 
lead  not  the  soul  to  happiness  in  a  world  like  ours. 

Again  her  form  drooped,  and  again  she  sat  for 
a  long  period  so  lost  in  the  mazes  of  her  own 
thoughts,  that  time  and  place  receded  alike  from 
her  consciousness.  Not  until  dinner-time  did  she 
join  her  aunt.  Her  cousins  had  returned  from 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS    OF   JESSIE    LORING.  57 

school,  and  she  met  them  as  usual  at  the  table. 
Her  exterior  was  carefully  controlled,  so  that  the 
only  change  visible  was  a  slight  pallor  and  a  gra 
ver  aspect.  Mrs.  Loring  scrutinized  her  counten 
ance  closely.  This  she  bore  without  a  sign  of 
embarrassment.  She  partook  but  lightly  of  food, 
after  the  meal  closed  she  retired  to  her  own  room, 
once  more  to  torture  her  brain  in  a  fruitless  effort 
to  solve  this  great  problem  of  her  life. 


58      THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART J  OR, 


CHAPTER   V. 

WHEN  Paul  Hendrickson  left  the  house  of  Mrs. 
Loring,  his  mind  was  in  a  state  of  painful  excite 
ment.  The  inopportune  appearance  of  Dexter  had 
so  annoyed  him,  that  he  had  found  it  impossible  to 
assume  the  easy,  cheerful  air  of  a  visitor.  He  was 
conscious,  therefore,  of  having  shown  hinjself  in  the 
eyes  of  Miss  Loring  to  very  poor  advantage.  Her 
manner  at  parting  had,  however,  reassured  him.  As 
they  stood  for  a  moment  in  the  vestibule  he  saw 
her  in  a  new  light.  The  aspect  of  her  countenance 
was  changed,  the  eyes,  that  fell  beneath  his  earnest 
gaze,  burned  with  a  softened  light,  and  he  read 
there  a  volume  of  tender  interest  at  a  single  glance. 

"  I  shall  be  pleased  to  see  you  again,  Mr.  Hen 
drickson."  There  was  more  than  a  parting  compli 
ment  in  her  tones  as  she  said  these  words.  "I  have 
never  thought  you  stupid."  "What  pleasure  he  deriv 
ed  from  repeating  these  sentences  over  and  over 
again  I 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOKING.  59 

Early  in  the  evening  he  called  upon  his  friend 
Mrs.  Denison. 

"  I  have  come  to  talk  with  you  again  about  Miss 
Loring,"  said  he.  "I  can't  get  her  out  of  my 
thoughts.  Her  presence  haunts  me  like  a  destiny." 

Mrs.  Denison  smiled  as  she  answered  a  little 
playfully : 

"  A  genuine  case  of  love  ;  the  infection  taken  at 
first  sight.  Isn't  it  so,  Paul  ?" 

"  That  I  love  this  girl,  in  spite  of  myself,  is,  I 
fear,  a  solemn  fact,"  said  the  young  man,  with  an 
expression  of  face  that  did  not  indicate  a  very 
agreeable  self-consciousness. 

"  Fear  ?  In  spite  of  yourself?  A  solemn  fact  ? 
What  a  contradiction  you  are,  Paul !"  said  Mrs. 
Denison. 

"  A  man  in  love  is  an  enigma.  I  have  often 
heard  it  remarked,  and  I  now  perceive  the  saying 
to  be  true.  I  am  an  enigma.  Yes,  I  love  this  girl 
in  spite  of  myself;  and  the  fact  is  a  solemn  one. 
Why  ?  Because  1  have  too  good  reason  for  believ 
ing  that  she  does  not  love  me  in  return.  And  yet, 
even  while  I  say  this,  tones  and  words  of  hers, 
heard  only  to-day,  come  sighing  to  my  ears,  giving 
to  every  heart-beat  a  quicker  impulse." 


60  THE   HAND   BUT   NOT    THE    HEA.-RT  |    OR, 

"  Ah  !   Then  you  have  seen  Miss  Loring  to-day  ?" 

"  Yes,"  answered  Hendrickson,  in  a  quick,  and 
suddenly  excited  manner.  "  I  called  upon  her  this 
morning,  and  while  I  sat  in  the  parlor  awaiting  her 
appearance,  who  should  intrude  himself  but  that 
fellow  Dexter.  I  felt  like  annihilating  him.  The 
look  I  gave  him  he  will  remember." 

"  That  was  bad  taste,  Paul,"  said  Mrs.  Denison. 

"  I  know  it.  But  his  appearance  was  so  untimely ; 
and  then,  I  had  not  forgotten  last  evening.  The 
fellow  has  a  world  of  assurance  ;  and  he  carries  it 
off  with  such  an  air — such  a  self-possession  and 
easy  grace  !  You  cannot  disturb  the  dead  level  of 
his  self-esteem.  To  have  him  intruding  at  such  a 
time,  was  more  than  I  could  bear.  It  completely 
unsettled  me.  Of  course,  when  Miss  Loring  ap 
peared,  I  was  constrained,  cold,  embarrassed,  dis 
tant — everything  that  was  repulsive  ;  while  Dexter 
was  as  bland  as  a  June  morning — full  of  graceful 
compliments — attractive — winning.  When  I  at 
tempted  some  frozen  speech,  I  could  see  a  change 
in  Miss  Loring's  manner,  as  if  she  had  suddenly 
approached  an  iceberg  ;  but,  as  often,  Dexter  would 
melt  the  ice  away  by  one  of  his  sunny  smiles,  and 
her  face  would  grow  radiant  again." 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS    OF   JESSIE   LOEING.  61 

"  You  exaggerate,"  said  Mrs.  Denison. 

"The  case  admits  of  no  exaggeration.  I  was  too 
keenly  alive  to  my  own  position ;  and  saw  only 
what  was." 

"The  medium  was  distorted.  Excited  feelings 
are  the  eyes'  magnifying  glasses." 

"  It  may  be  so."  There  was  a  modification  in 
Hendrickson's  manner.  "  I  was  excited.  How 
conld  I  help  being  so  ?" 

"  There  existed  no  cause  for  it,  Paul.  Mr.  Dex 
ter  had  an  equal  right  with  yourself  to  visit  Miss 
Loring." 

"  True." 

"  And  an  equal  right  to  choose  his  own  time." 

"  I  will  not  deny  it." 

"  Therefore,  there  was  no  reason  in  the  abstract, 
why  his  complimentary  call  upon  the  lady  should 
create  in  your  mind  unpleasant  feelings  to  wards  the 
man.  You  had  no  more  right  to  complain  of  his 
presence  there,  than  he  had  to  complain  of  yours." 

"  I  confess  it." 

"  There  is  one  thing,"  pursued  Mrs.  Denison,  "  in 
which  you  disappoint  me,  Paul.  You  seem  to  lack 
a  manly  confidence  in  yourself.  You  are  as  good 
as  Leon  Dexter — aye,  a  better,  truer  man  in  every 


62      THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART J  OR, 

sense  of  the  word — a  man  to  please  a  woman  at  all 
worth  pleasing,  far  better  than  he.  And  yet  you 
permit  him  to  elbow  you  aside,  as  it  were,  and  to 
thrust  you  into  a  false  position,  if  not  into  obscurity. 
If  Miss.  Loring  is  the  woman  God  has  created  for 
you,  in  the  name  of  all  that  is  holy,  do  not  let  an 
other  man  usurp  your  rights.  Do  not  let  one  like 
Dexter  bear  her  off  to  gild  a  heartless  home. 
Eemember  that  Jessie  is  young,  inexperienced,  and 
unskilled  in  the  ways  of  the  world.  She  is  not 
schooled  in  the  lore  of  love  ;  cannot  understaiid  all 
its  signs ;  and,  above  all,  can  no  more  look  into 
your  heart,  than  you  can  look  into  hers.  How  is 
she  to  know  that  you  love  her,  if  you  stand  coldly 
— 1  might  say  cynically— observant  at  a  far  dis 
tance.  Paul !  Paul !  Women  are  not  won  in  this 
way,  as  many  a  man  has  found  to  his  sorrow,  and 
as  you  will  find  in  the  present  case,  unless  you  act 
with  more  self-confidence  and  decision.  Go  to  Miss 
Loring  then,  and  show  her,  by  signs  not  to  be  mis 
taken,  that  she  has  found  favor  in  your  eyes.  Give 
her  a  chance  to  show  you  what  her  real  feelings 
are ;  and  my  word  for  it,  you  will  not  find  her  as 
indifferent  as  you  fear.  If  you  gain  any  encourage 
ment,  make  farther  advances ;  and  let  her  compre- 


THE   LIFE-TKIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOSING.  63 

hend  fully  that  you  are  an  admirer.     She  will  not 
play  you  false.     Don't  fear  for  a  moment.     She  is. 
above  guile." 

Mrs.  Denison  ceased.  Her  words  had  inspired 
Hendrickson  with  new  feelings. 

"  As  I  parted  from  her  to-day,"  he  remarked, 
"  she  said,  '  I  shall  be  pleased  to  see  you  again.'  I 
I  felt  that  there  was  meaning  in  the  words  beyond 
a  graceful  speech.  '  Not  if  I  show  myself  as  stupid 
as  I  have  been  this  morning,'  was  my  answer. 
Very  quickly,  and  with  some  earnestness,  she 
returned  :  '  I  have  never  thought  you  stupid,  Mr. 
Hendrickson.' ': 

"Well?  And  what  then?  Did  you  compliment 
her  in  return ;  or  say  something  to  fill  her  ears  with 
music  and  make  her  heart-"  tremble  ?  You  could 
have  asked  no  better  opportunity  for  giving  the 
parting  word  that  lingers  longest  and  is  oftenest 
conned  over.  What  did  you  say  to  that,  Paul  ?" 

"  I  blundered  out  some  meaningless  things,  and 
left  her  abruptly,"  said  Hendrickson,  with  an  im 
patient  sweep  of  his  hand.  "  I  felt  that  her  eyes 
were  upon  me,  but  had  not  the  courage  to  lift  my 
own  and  read  their  revelation." 

"  Too  bad  !    Too  bad  !     The  old  adage  is  true 


64      THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAET  J  OK, 

always — '  Faint  heart  never  won  fair  lady  ' — and 
if  you  are  not  a  little  braver  at  heart,  my  young 
friend,  you  will  lose  this  fair  lady,  whose  hand  may 
be  had  for  the  asking.  So,  I  pray  you,  be  warned 
in  time.  Go  to  her  this  very  evening.  You  will 
probably  find  her  alone.  Dexter  will  hardly  call 
twice  in  the  same  day  ;  so  you  will  be  free  from  his 
intrusion.  Let  her  see  by  tone,  look,  manner,  word, 
that  she  has  charmed  your  fancy.  Show  yourself 
an  admirer.  Then  act  as  the  signs  indicate." 

"I  will,"  replied  Hendrickson,  speaking  with 
enthusiasm. 

"  Go  and  heaven  speed  you !  I  have  no  fear  as 
to  the  issue.  But,  Paul,  let  me  warn  you  to  re 
press  your  too  sensitive  feelings.  Your  conduct, 
heretofore,  has  not  been  such  as  to  give  Miss  Lor- 
ing  any  opportunity  to  judge  of  your  real  senti 
ments  towards  her.  Your  manner  has  been  distant 
or  constrained.  She  does  not,  therefore,  understand 
you  ;  and  if  her. heart  is  really  interested,  she  will 
be  under  constraint  when  she  meets  you  to-night. 
Don't  mind  this.  Be  open,  frank,  at  ease  yourself. 
Keep  your  thoughts  clear,  and  let  not  a  pulse  beat 
quicker  than  now." 

"That  last  injunction  goes  too  far,  my  good 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LORING.  65 

friend;  for  my  heart  gives  a  bound  the  moment 
my  eyes  rest  upon  her.  So  you  see  that  mine  is  a 
desperate  case." 

"  The  more  need  of  skill  and  coolness.  A  blund 
er  may  prove  fatal." 

Mr.  Hendrickson  rose,  saying. 

"Time  passes.  A  good  work  were  well  done 
quickly.  I  will  not  linger  when  minutes  are  so 
precious." 

"  God  speed  you !"  whispered  Mrs.  Denison,  as 
they  parted,  a  few  minutes  later  at  the  door. 


66      THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  ;  OE, 


CHAPTER   VL 

IT  was  an  hour  from  the  time  Mr.  Hendrickson 
left  the  house  of  Mrs.  Denison  before  he  found 
himself  in  one  of  Mrs.  Loring's  parlors.  He  had 
been  home,  where  a  caller  detained  him. 

Full  ten  minutes  elapsed  after  his  entrance,  ere 
Jessie's  light  tread  was  heard  on  the  stairs.  She 
came  down  slowly,  and  as  she  entered  the  room, 
Hendrickson  was  struck  with  the  singular  expression 
of  her  face.  At  the  first  glance  he  scarcely  recog 
nized  her. 

"  Are  you  not  well,  Miss  Loring  ?"  he  asked, 
stepping  forward  to  meet  her. 

His  manner  was  warm,  and  his  tones  full  of  sym 
pathy. 

She  smiled  faintly  as  she  answered — 

"Not  very  well.  I  have  a  blinding  head 
ache." 

Still  holding  the  hand  she  had  extended  to  him  in 
meeting,  Mr.  Hendrickson .  led  her  to  a  sofa,  and 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOSING.  67 

sat  down  by  her  side.  He  would  have  retained 
the  hand,  but  she  gently  withdrew  it,  though  not  in 
a  way  that  involved  repulsion. 

"  I  am  sorry  for  your  indisposition,"  he  said,  in  a 
tone  of  interest  so  unusual  for  him,  that  Miss  Lor- 
ing  lifted  her  eyes,  which  had  fallen  to  the  car 
pet,  and  looked  at  him  half  shyly — half  interrogat 
ingly. 

"  If  you  had  sent  me  word  that  you  were  not 
well,  Miss  Loring" 

He  paused,  gazing  very  earnestly  upon  her  face, 
into  which  crimsoning  blushes  began  to  come. 

"  I  am  pleased  to  meet  you,  Mr.  Hendrickson.  I 
did  not  wish  to  be  excused,"  she  answered,  and  then, 
as  if  she  had  been  led  to  utter  more  than  maidenly 
modesty  approved,  averted  her  face  suddenly,  and 
seemed  confused.  There  followed  a  moment  or 
two  of  silence ;  when  her  visitor  said,  leaning  close 
to  her,  and  speaking  in  a  low,  penetrating,  steady 
voice — 

"  Tour  reply,  Miss  Loring,  is  an  admission  of 
more  than  I  had  expected — not  more  than  I  had 
hoped." 

He  saw  her  start,  as  if  she  had  touched  an  elec 
tric  wire.  But  her  face  remained  averted. 


68      THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEABTJ  OK, 

"  Miss  Loring  " 

"Warmer  words  were  on  his  lips,  hut  he  hesitated 
to  give  them  utterance.  There  was  a  pause.  Mo 
tionless  sat  the  young  maiden,  her  face  still  partly 
turned  away.  Suddenly,  and  with  an  almost  wild 
impulse,  Hendrickson  caught  her  hand,  and  raising 
it  to  his  lips,  said — 

"  I  cannot  hold  back  the  words  a  moment  longer, 
dear  Miss  Loring  !  From  the  hour  I  first  looked 
into  your  face,  I  felt  that  we  were  made  for  each 
other ;  and  now  " 

But  ere  he  could  finish  the  sentence,  Jessie  had 
flung  his  hand  away  and  started  to  ber  feet. 

"Miss  Loring!" 

He  was  on  his  feet  also.  For  some  moments  they 
stood  gazing  at  each  other.  The  countenance  of 
Miss  Loring  was  of  an  ashen  hue ;  her  lips,  almost 
as  pallid  as  her  cheeks,  stood  arching  apart,  and  her 
eyes  had  the  stare  of  one  frightened  by  some  fear 
ful  apparition. 

"  Miss  Loring !  pardon  my  folly !  Your  lan 
guage  made  me  bold  to  utter  what  had  else 
slept  in  my  heart  eternally  silent.  Forget  this 
hour  !" 

"  Never !    Never !"   and  she  struck  her  hands 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LORING.  69 

together  wildly.  Her  voice  had  in  it  a  wail  of 
suffering  that  sent  a  thrill  to  the  heart  of  Paul  Hen- 
drickson. 

Then  recollecting  herself,  she  struggled  for  the 
mastery  over  her  feelings.  He  saw  the  struggle, 
and  awaited  the  result.  A  brief  interval  sufficed 
to  restore  a  degree  of  self-possession. 

"  I  have  nothing  then  to  hope  ?"  said  the  young 
man.  His  tones  were  evenly  balanced. 

"  Too  late  !  Too  late !"  she  answered,  in  a  hoarse 
voice.  "  The  cup  is  dashed  to  pieces  at  rny  feet, 
and  the  precious  wine  spilled  !" 

"  Oh,  speak  not  thus !  Kecall  the  words !"  ex 
claimed  Hendrickson,  reaching  out  his  hands  to 
wards  her. 

But  she  moved  back  a  pace  or  too  repeating  the 
sentence — 

"  Too  late !     Too  late !" 

"  It  is  never  too  late  !"  urged  the  now  almost 
desperate  lover,  advancing  towards  the  maiden. 

But  retreating  from  him  she  answered  in  a  warn 
ing  voice — 

"  Touch  me  not !  I  am  already  pledged  to 
another !" 

"  Impossible  !     Oh,  light  of  my  life  !" 


70      THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  J  OK, 

"  Sir !  tempt  me  not !"  she  said  interrupting  him, 
"  I  have  said  it  was  too  late  !  And  now  leave  me. 
Go  seek  another  to  walk  beside  you  in  life's  pleas 
ant  ways.  Our  paths  diverge  here." 

"  I  will  not  believe  it,  Miss  Loring !  This  is 
only  a  terrible  dream !"  exclaimed  Hendrickson. 

"  A  dream  ?"  Jessie  seemed  clutching  at  the  gar 
ments  of  some  departing  hope.  "  A  dream  !"  She 
glanced  around  in  a  bewildered  manner.  "  No — 
no — no."  Almost  despairingly  the  words  came 
from  her  lips.  "  It  is  no  dream,  Paul  Hendrick 
son  !  but  a  stern  reality.  And  now,"  speaking 
quickly  and  with  energy,  ''  in  Heaven's  name  leave 
me!" 

"  Not  yet — not  yet,"  said  the  young  man,  reach 
ing  for  his  hands  and  trying  to  take  one  of  hers ; 
but  she  put  both  of  her  hands  behind  her  and 
stepped  back  several  paces. 

"  Spare  me  the  pain  of  a  harsh  word,  Mr.  Hen 
drickson.  I  have  said — leave  me  !" 

Her  voice  had  acquired  firmness. 

"  Oh,  no !  Smite  me  not  with  an  unkind  word," 
said  Hendrickson.  "  I  would  not  have  that  added 
to  the  heavy  burden  I  seem  doomed  to  bear.  But 
ere  I  go,  I  would  fein  have  more  light,  even  if  it 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOKINQ.  71 

should  make  the  surrounding  darkness  black  as 
a  pall." 

His  impassioned  manner  was  gone. 

"  I  am  calm,"  he  added,  "  calm  as  you  are  now, 
Miss  Loring.  The  billows  have  fallen  to  the  level 
plain  under  the  pressure  of  this  sudden  storm.  You 
have  told  me  it  was  too  late.  You  have  said, '  leave 
me  !'  I  believe  you,  and  I  will  go.  But,  may  I 
ask  one  question  ?" 

"  Speak,  Mr.  Hendrickson ;  but  beware  how  you 
speak." 

"  Had  I  spoken  as  now  this  morning,  would  you 
have  answered  :  '  Too  late  ?' ' 

He  was  looking  intently  upon  her  face.  She  did 
not  reply  immediately,  but  seemed  pondering. 
Hendrickson  repeated  the  question. 

"  I  have  said  that  it  was  now  too  late."  Miss 
Loring  raised  her  eyes  and  looked  steadily  upon 
him.  "  Go  sir,  and  let  this  hour  and  this  interview 
pass  from  your  memory.  If  you  are  wise,  you  will 
forget  it.  Be  just  to  me,  sir.  If  I  have  betrayed 
the  existence  of  any  feeling  towards  you  warmer 
than  respect,  it  has  been  under  sudden  and  strong 
temptation.  As  a  man  of  honor,  you  must  keep 
the  secret  inviolate." 


72      THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  J  OK, 

There  was  not  a  sign  of  girlish  weakness  about 
the  calm  speaker.  Her  small  head  was  erect ;  her 
slight  body  drawn  to  its  full  height ;  her  measured 
tones  betrayed  not  a  ripple  of  feeling. 

"  I  am  affianced,  and  know  my  duty,"  she  added. 
"  Know  it,  and  will  perform  it  to  the  letter.  And 
now,  sir,  spare  me  from  this  moment.  And  when 
we  meet  again,  as  meet  no  doubt  we  shall,  let  it  be 
as  friends — no  more." 

The  pressure  of  despair  was  on  the  heart  of 
Paul  Hendrickson.  He  was  not  able  to  rally  him 
self.  He  could  not  retain  the  calm  e^erior  a  little 
while  before  assumed. 

"  "We  part,  then,"  he  said,  speaking  in  a  broken 
voice — "  part — and,  ever  after,  a  great  gulf  must 
lie  between  us !  I  go  at  your  bidding,"  and  he 
moved  towards  the  door.  "  Farewell,  Miss  Loring." 
He  extended  his  hand  ;  she  took  it,  and  they  stood 
looking  into  each  other's  eyes. 

"  God  bless  you,  and  keep  you  spotless  as  the 
angels !"  he  added,  suddenly  raising  her  hand  to 
his  lips,  and  kissing  it  with  wild  fervor.  In  the 
next  moment  the  bewildered  girl  was  alone. 


THE    LIFE-TRIALS    OF   JESSIE   LOKING,  73 


CHAPTER  VII. 

THE  visit  of  Hendrickson  was  an  hour  too  late, 
Dexter  had  already  been  there,  and  pressed  his  suit 
to  a  formal  issue.  The  bold  suitor  had  carried  off 
the  prize,  while  the  timid  one  yet  hesitated.  Jessie 
went  back  to  her  room,  after  her  interview  with 
Paul  Hendrickson,  in  spiritual  stature  no  longer  a 
half  developed  girl,  but  a  full  woman  grown.  The 
girl's  strength  would  no  longer  have  sustained  her. 
Only  the  woman's  soul,  strong  in  principle  and 
strong  to  endure,  could  bear  up  now.  And  the 
woman's  soul  shuddered  in  the  conflict  of  passions 
that  came  like  furies  to  destroy  her — shuddered  and 
bent,  and  writhed  like  some  strong  forest-tree  in  the 
maddening  whirl  of  a  tempest.  But  there  was  no 
faltering  of  purpose.  She  had  passed  her  word — 
had  made  a  solemn  life-compact,  and,  she  resolved* 
to  die,  but  not  to  waver. 

The   question  as  to  whether  she  were  right  or 
wrong,  it  is  not  for  us  here  to  decide.     We  but 

4 


74      THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART;  OR,         4 

record  the  fact.  Few  women  after  such  a  discov 
ery  would  have  ventured  to  move  on  a  step  farther. 
But  Jessie  was  not  an  ordinary  woman.  She  pos 
sessed  a  high  sense  of  personal  honor ;  and  looked 
upon  any  pledge  as  a  sacred  obligation.  Having 
consented  to  become  the  wife  of  Leon  Dexter,  she 
saw  but  one  right  course,  and  that  was  to  perform, 
as  best  she  could,  her  part  of  the  contract. 

How  envied  she  was!  Many  wondered  that 
Dexter  should  have  turned  aside  for  a  portionless 
girl,  when  he  might  have  led  a  jewelled  bride  to 
the  altar.  But  though  superficial,  he  had  taste  and 
discrimination  enough  to  see  that  Jessie  Loring  was 
superior  to  all  the  maidens  whom  it  had  been  his 
fortune  to  meet.  And  so,  without  pausing  to  look 
deeply  into  her  heart,  or  take  note  of  its  peculiar 
aspirations  and  impulses,  he  boldly  pressed  forward 
resolved  to  win.  And  he  did  win  ;  and  in  winning, 
thought,  like  many  another  foolish  man,  that  to  wm 
the  loveliest,  was  to  secure  the  highest  happiness. 
Fatal  error  !  Doubly  fatal ! 

It  is  impossible  for  any  woman  to  pass  through 
an  ordeal  like  the  one  that  was  testing  the  quality 
of  Jessie  Loring,  and  not  show  signs  of  the  inward 
strife.  It  is  in  no  way  surprising,  therefore,  that, 


There  was  a 

verging,  at  times,  on 

_ :_•-__- :.T — _:   .1   .  nifT  ?"i"  T  7-;--. :  r.  .::..:-.  .:_* 

Mr.  Dexter.  flto  liM  apt  a»M4  •  ••  •iili  that  Mai 
of  repvkion  which  is  equvaknt  to  pinhing  back 
with  the  hud.  She  accepted  hie  loving  ardor  of 
speech  and  act;  bat  passively.  There  was  BO 
iBBBBBBHNi  wmnh. 

At  first  Mr.  Dexter  was  poaied,  and  his  ardent 
feetings  ririiliii  He  loved,  admired,  ahnost  wor 
shipped  the  beautiful  girl  from  whom  consent  had 
been  extorted,  and  her  quiet,  cold  manner,  troubled 
him  sorely.  Gfimpsesof  the  real  truth  dawned  into 
his  mind.  He  let  his  thoughts  go  back,  and  went 
over  again,  in  retrospection,  every  particular  of  their 
intercourse— dwelling  minutely  upon  her  words, 
looks,  manner  and  emotions  at  the  time  he  first 
pressed  his  suit  upon  her.  The  result  was  far  from 
being  satisfactory.  She  had  not  met  his  advances 
as  he  had  hoped ;  but  rather  fled  from  him — and  he 
had  gained  her  only  by  pursuit.  Her  ascent  had 
not  come  .warmly  from  her  heart,  but  burdened 


76      THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEABT  ;  OE, 

with  a  sigh.  Mr.  Dexter  felt  that  though  she  was 
his,  she  had  not  been  fairly  won.  The  conviction 
troubled  him. 

"  I  will  release  her,"  he  said,  in  a  sudden  glow 
of  generous  enthusiasm.  But  Mr.  Dexter  had  not 
the  nobility  for  such  a  step.  He  was  too  selfish  a 
man  to  relinquish  the  prize. 

"  I  will  woo  and  win  her  still."     This  was  to  him 

/• 

a  more  satisfactory  conclusion.  But  he  had  won 
all  of  her  in  his  power  to  gain.  Her  heart  was  to 
him  a  sealed  book.  He  could  not  unclasp  the  vol 
ume,  nor  read  a  single  page. 

Earnestly  at  times  did  Jessie  strive  to  appear 
attractive  in  the  eyes  of  her  betrothed — to  meet  his 
ardor  with  returning  warmth.  But  the  effort  was 
accompanied  with  so  much  pain,  that  suffering  was 
unable  to  withdraw  wholly  beneath  a  veil  of  smiles. 

"  The  wordy,  restless  pleasure  evinced  by  Mrs. 
Loring,  was  particularly  annoying  to  Jessie  J~  so 
much  so  that  any  allusion  by  her  aunt  to  the  ap 
proaching  marriage,  was  almost  certain  to  cloud  her 
brow.  And  yet  so  gratified  was  this  worldly- 
minded  woman,  at  the  good  fortune  of  her  niece  in 
securing  so  brillant  an  alliance,  that  it  seemed  as  if, 
for  a  time,  she  could  talk  of  nothing  else. 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF  JESSIE   LOBINQ.  77 

Mr.  Dexter  urged  an  early  marriage,  while«Jessie 
named  a  period  nearly  a  year  in  advance ;  but,  as 
she  could  give  no  valid  reason  for  delajdng  their 
happiness  so  long,  the  time  was  shortened  to  four 
months.  As  the  day  approached,  the  pressure  on 
the  heart  of  Miss  Loring  grew  heavier. 

"  Oh,  if  I  could  die  !"  How  many  times  in  the 
silence  of  night  and  in  the  loneliness  of  her  chamber 
did  her  lips  give  forth  this  utterance. 

But  the  striving  spirit  could  not  lay  down  its 
burden  thus. 

Not  once,  since  the  exciting  interview  we  have 
described,  had  Paul  and  Jessie  met.  At  places  of 
fashionable  amusement  she  was  a  constant  attendant 
in  company  with  Dexter,  who  was  proud  of  her 
beauty.  But  though  her  eyes  searched  everywhere 
in  the  crowded  audiences,  in  no  instance  did  she 
recognize  the  face  of  Hendrickson.  In  festive  com 
panies,  where  he  had  been  a  constant  attendant,  she 
missed  his  presence.  Often  she  heard  him  inquired 
after,  yet  only  once  did  the  answer  convey  any  in 
telligence.  It  was  at  an  evening  party. 

"  Where  is  Mr.  Hendrickson  ?  It  is  a  long  time 
since  I  have  seen  him,"-  she  heard  a  lady  say. 
Partly  turning  she  recognized  Mrs.  Denison  as  the 


78      THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART J  OK, 

person  addressed.  The  answer  was  in  so  low  a  tone 
that  her  ear  did  not  make  it  out,  though  she  listened 
with  suspended  breath. 

"  Ah  !  I'm  sorry,"  responded  the  other.    "  What 
is  the  cause  ?" 

"  A  matter  of  the  heart,  I  believe,"  said  Mrs. 
Denison. 

"  Indeed  is  he  very  much  depressed  ?" 

"  He  is  changed,"  was  the  simple  reply.    • 

"  Who  was  the  lady  ?" 

Jessie  did  not  hear  the  answer. 

"  You  don't  tell  me  so !"     In  a  tone  of  surprise, 
and  the  lady  glanced  around  the  room. 

"  And  he  took  it  very  much  to  heart  ?"  she  went 
on. 

"Yes.  I  think  it  will  change  the  complexion  of 
his  whole  life,"  said  Mrs.  Denison.  "  He  is  a  man 
of  deep  feeling — somewhat  peculiar  ;  over  diffident ; 
and  not  given  to  showing  himself  off  to  the  best 
advantage.  But  he  is  every  inch  a  man — all  gold 
and  no  tinsel !  I  have  known  him  from  boyhood, 
and  speak  of  his  quality  from  certain  knowledge." 

"  He  will  get  over  it,"  remarked  the  lady.  "  Men 
are  not  apt  to  go  crazy  after  pretty  girls.  The  mar 
ket  is  full  of  such  attractions." 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS"  OF   JESSIE    LORINGK  79 

"  It  takes  more  than  a  painted  butterfly  to  daz 
zle  him,  my  friend,"  said  Mrs.  Denison.  "  His  eyes 
are  too  keen,  and  go  below  the  surface  at  a  glance. 
The  woman  he  loves  may  regard  the  fact  as  a  high 
testimonial." 

"  But  you  don't  suppose  he  is  going  to  break  his 
heart  over  this  matter." 

"  No — oh,  no  !     That  is  an  extreme  disaster." 
"  He  will  forget  her  in  1  me ;  and  there  are  good 
fish  in  the  sea  yet." 

"  Time  is  the  great  restorer,"  said  Mrs.  Denison ; 
"  and  time  will  show,  I  trust,  that  good  will  come 
of  this  severe  trial  which  my  young  friend  is  now 
enduring.  These  better  natures  are  oftenest  ex 
posed  to  furnace  heat,  for  only  they  have  gold 
enough  to  stand  the  ordeal  of  fire." 

"  He  is  wrong  to  shut  himself  out  from  society." 
"So  I  tell  him.     But  he  says  'wait — wait,  I  am 
not  strong  enough  yet.'  " 

"He  must,  indeed,  take  the  matter  deeply  to 
heart." 

"  He  does." 

Here  the  voice  fell  fo  such  a  low  measure,  that 
Jessie  lost  all  distinction  of  words.  But  the  few 
sentences  which  had  reached  her  ears  disturbed  her 


80      THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT  ;  OK, 

spirit  profoundly — too  profoundly  to  make  even  a 
ripple  on  the  surface.  No  one  saw  a  change  on  her 
countenance,  and  her  voice,  answering  a  moment 
after  to  the  voice  of  a  friend,  betrayed  no  unusual 
sign  of  feeling. 

And  this  was  all  she  had  heard  of  him  for 
months. 

Once,  a  little  while  before  her  marriage,  she  met 
him.  It  was  a  few  weeks  after  these  brief  unsatis 
factory  sentences  had  troubled  the  waters  of  her 
spirit.  She  had  been  out  with  her  aunt  for  the  pur 
pose  of  selecting  her  wedding  attire ;  and  after  a 
visit  to  the  dressmaker's,  was  returning  alone,  her 
aunt  wishing  to  make  a  few  calls  at  places  where 
Jessie  did  not  care  to  go.  She  was  crossing  one  of 
the  public  squares  when  the  thought  of  Hendrick- 
son  came  suddenly  into  her  mind.  Her  eyes  were 
cast  down  at  the  moment.  Looking  up,  involun 
tarily,  she  paused,  for  within  a  few  paces  was  the 
young  man  himself,  approaching  from  the  opposite 
direction.  He  paused  also,  and  they  stood  with 
eyes  riveted  upon  each  other's  faces — both,  for  a 

time,  too  much  embarrassed*to  speak.    Their  hands 

i 
had  mutually  clasped,  and  Hendrickson  was  holding 

that  of  Jessie  tightly  compressed  within  his  own. 


THE   LIFE-TIilALS    OF   JESSIE    LOSING.  81 

The  first  to  regain  self-possession  was  Miss  Lor- 
ing.  With  a  quick  motion  she  withdrew  her  hand, 
and  moved  back  a  single  step.  The  mantling-flush 
left  her  brow,  and  the  startled  eyes  looked  calmly 
into  the  young  man's  face. 

;'  Have  you  been  away  from  the  city,  Mr.  Hen- 
drickson  ?"  she  inquired,  in  a  voice  that  gave  but 
few  signs  of  feeling. 

"  No."  He  could  not  trust  himself  to  utter  more 
than  a  single  word. 

•  "  I  have  missed  you  from  the  old  places,"  she 
said. 

"  Have  you  ?  It  is  something,  even  to  be 
missed  ?"  He  could  not  suppress  the  tremor  in  his 
voice. 

"  Good  morning !" 

Jessie  almost  sprang  past  him,  and  hurried  away. 
The  tempter  was  at  her  side  ;  and  she  felt  it  to  be 
an  hour  of  weakness.  She  must  either  yield  or  fly 
— and  she  fled ;  fled  with  rapid  unsteady  feet, 
Causing  not  until  the  door  of  her  own  chamber  shut 
out  all  the  world  and  left  her  alone  with  Heaven. 
Weak,  trembling,  exhausted  she  bowed  herself,  and 
in  anguish  of  spirit  prayed — 

"  Oh,  my  Father,  sustain  me !     Give  me  light, 
*4 


8$      THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT  J  OK, 

strength,  patience,  endurance.  I  am  walking 
darkly,  and  the  way  is  rough  and  steep.  Let  me 
not  fall.  The  floods  roar  about  me — let  me  not 
sink  beneath  them.  My  heart  is  failing  under  its 
heavy  burden.  Oh,  bear  me  up  !  The  sky  is  black 
— show  me  some  rift  in  the  clouds,  for  I  am  fainting 
in  this  rayless  night.  And  oh,  if  I  dare  pray  for 
him — if  the  desire  for  his  happiness  springs  from 
no  wrong  sentiment — let  this  petition  find  favor — 
as  he  asked  that  I  might  be  kept  spotless  as  the 
angels,  so  keep  him ;  and  after  he  has  passed 
through  the  furnace,  let  not  even  the  smell  of  fire 
be  upon  him.  Send  him  a  higher  blessing  than  that 
which  he  has  lost.  Oh  Lord,  give  strength  to  both 
— especially  to  her  whose  voice  is  now  ascending, 
for  she  is  weakest,  and  will  have  most  to  endure." 
For  a  long  time  after  the  murmur  of  prayer  had 
died  on  her  lips,  Jessie  remained  prostrate.  When 
she  arose  at  last,  it  was  with  a  slow,  weary  move 
ment,  dreary  eyes,  and  absent  manner.  The  shock 
of  this  meeting  had  been  severe — disturbing  her 
too  profoundly  for  even  the  soothing  influence,  of 
prayer.  She  did  not  arise  from  her  knees  comfort 
ed — scarcely  strengthened.  A  kind  of  benumbing 
stupor  followed. 


THE    LIFE-TBIALS    OF   JESSIE   LORING.  83 

"  What  ails  the  girl !"  said  Mrs.  Loring  to  herself 
as  she  vainly  strove  at  dinner-time  to  draw  her 
forth  into  lively  conversation.  "  She  gets  into  the 
strangest  states — just  like  her  poor  mother  !  And 
like  her  I'm  afraid,  sometimes,  will  make  herself 
and  every  one  else  around  her  miserable.  I  pity 
Leon  Dexter,  if  this  be  so.  He  may  find  that  his 
caged  bird  will  not  sing.  Already  the  notes  are 
few  and  far  between ;  and  little  of  the  old  sweet 
ness  remains." 


84  THE   HAND   BUT   NOT   THE    IJEAKT 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

A  FEW  days  after  the  meeting  between  Mr.  Hen- 
drickson  and  Miss  Loring,  as  just  mentioned,  Mr. 
Dexter  received  the  following  communication  : 

"DEAR  SIK — 

I  am  scarcely  well  enough  acquainted  with 
you  to  venture  this  note  and  request ;  but  I  happen 
to  know  of  something  so  vital  to  your  happiness, 
that  I  cannot  feel  conscience-clear  and  not  ask  an 
interview.  I  shall  be  at  home  this  evening. 

"  ALICE  DENISON." 

Early  in  the  evening,  Dexter  was  at  the  house  of 
Mrs.  Denison. 

"  You  have  frightened  me  my  dear  madam  !"  he 
said,  almost  abruptly,  as  he  entered  the  parlor, 
where  he  found  her  awaiting  him. 

"  I  have  presumed  on  a  slight  acquaintance,  Mr. 
Dexter,  to  ask  an  interview  on  a  very  delicate  sub 
ject,"  Mrs.  Denison  replied.  "  May  I  speak  freely, 


THE   LIFE-TKIALS   OF   JESSIE    LOKING.  85 

and  without  danger  of  offending,  when  no  offence 
is  designed  ?" 

"  I  have  not  had  the  pleasure  of  knowing  you 
intimately,  Mrs.  Denison,"  replied  the  visitor,  "but 
it  has  been  no  fault  of  mine.  I  have  always  held  you 
in  high  regard  ;  and  always  been  gratified  with  our 
passing  intercourse  on  the  few  occasions  it  has  been 
iny  privilege  to  meet  you.  That  you  have  felt 
enough  concern  for  my  welfare  to  ask  this  inter 
view,  gratifies  me.  Say  on — and  speak  freely.  I 
am  eager  to  hear." 

"  You  are  about  to  marry  Jessie  Loring,"  said 
Mrs.  Denison. 

"  I  am."  And  Dexter  fixed  his  eyes  with  a  look 
of  earnest  inquiry  upon  the  lady's  face. 

Mrs.  Denison  had  come  to  the  subject  more 
abruptly  than  she  at  first  intended,  and  she  was 
already  in  doubt  as  to  her  next  remark  ;  but  there 
could  be  no  holding  back  now. 

"  Are  you  sure,  Mr.  Dexter,  that  you  possess  her 
undivided  heart  ?" 

"I  marvel  at  your  question,  madam  !"  he  ans 
wered,  with  a  start,  and  in  a  tone  of  surprise. 

"  Calmly,  my  friend."  And  Mrs.  Denison,  who 
was  a  woman  of  remarkably  clear  perceptions,  laid 


86      THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  ;  OR, 

her  hand  upon  his  arm.  "  I  am  not  questioning 
idly,  nor  to  serve  any  sinister  or  hidden  purpose — 
but  am  influenced  by  higher  motives.  Nor  am  I 
acting  at  the  instance  of  another.  What  passes 
between  us  this  evening  shall  be  sacred.  I  said 
that  1  knew  of  something  vital  to  your  happi 
ness  ;  therefore  I  asked  this  interview.  And  now 
ponder  well  my  question,  and  be  certain  that  you 
get  the  right  answer." 

Dexter  let  his  eyes  fall.  •  He  sat  for  a  long  while 
silent,  but  evidently  in  earnest  thought. 

"  Have  you  her  full,  free,  glad  assent  to  the 
approaching  union  ?"  asked  Mrs.  Denison,  breaking 
in  upon  his  silence.  She  saw  a  shade  of  impa 
tience  on  his  countenance  as  he  looked  up  and 
checked  the  words  that  were  on  his  lips,  by  saying : 

"  Marriage  is  no  light  thing,  my  young  friend. 
It  is  a  relation  which,  more  than  any  other,  makes 
or  mars  the  future  ;  and  when  entered  into,  should 
be  regarded  as  the  must  solemn  act  of  life.  Here 
all  error  is  fatal.  The  step  once  taken,  it  cannot  be 
retraced  Whether  the  path  be  rough  or  even,  it 
must  be  pursued  to  the  end.  If  the  union  be  har 
monious — internally  so,  I  mean — peace,  joy,  inte 
rior  delight  will  go  on,  finding  daily  increase— if 


THE    LIFE-TKIALS    OF    JESSIE   LOBING.  87 

inharmonious,  eternal  discord  will  curse  the  mar 
ried  partners.  Do  not  be  angry  with  me  then,  for 
pressing  the  question — Have  you  her  full,  free,  glad, 
assent  to  the  approaching  union  ?  If  not,  pause — 
for  your  love-freighted  bark  may  be  drifting  fast 
upon  the  breakers — and  not  yours  only,  but 
hers. 

"  I  have  reason  to  fear,  Mr.  Dexter,"  continued 
Mrs.  Denison,  seeing  that  her  visitor  did  not  attempt 
to  reply,  but  sat  looking  at  her  in  a  kind  of  bewil 
dered  surprise,  "  that  you  pressed  your  suit  too 
eagerly,  and  gained  a  half  unwilling  consent. 
Now,  if  this  be  so,  you  are  in  great  danger  of 
making  shipwreck.  An  ordinary  woman — worldly, 
superficial,  half-hearted,  or  no-hearted — even  if  she 
did  not  really  love  you,  would  find  ample  compen 
sation  in  your  fortune,  and  in  the  social  advantages 
it  must  secure.  But  depend  upon  it,  sir,  these  will 
not  fill  the  aching  void  that  must  be  in  Jessie  Lor- 
ing's  heart,  if  you  have  no  power  to  fill  it  with 
your  image — for  she  is  no  ordinary  woman.  I  have 
observed  her  carefully  since  this  engagement,  and 
I  grieve  to  see  that  she  is  not  happy.  Have  you 
seen  no  change  ?" 

Mrs.  Denison  waited  for  an  answer. 


88      THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT  J  OK, 

"  She  is  not  so  cheerful ;  I  have  noticed  that," 
replied  the  young  man. 

"  Have  you  ever  questioned  in  your  own  mind 
as  to  the  cause  ?" 

"  Often." 

"  And  what  was  the  solution !" 

"  I  remain  ignorant  of  the  cause." 

"Mr.  Dexter;  7~arn  not  ignorant  of  the  cause  !" 

"  Speak,  then,  in  Heaven's  name  !" 

The  young  man  betrayed  a  deeper  excitement 
than  he  wished  to  manifest.  He  had  been  strug 
gling  with  himself. 

"  Her  heart  is  not  yours !"  said  Mrs.  Denison, 
with  suppressed  feeling.  "  It  is  a  hard  saying,  but 
I  speak  it  in  the  hope  of  saving  both  you  and  the 
maiden  from  a  life  of  wretchedness." 

"By  what  authority  and  under  what  instigation 
do  you  say  this  ?"  was  demanded  almost  angrily. 
"  You  are  going  a  step  too  far,  madam  !" 

The  change  in  his  manner  was  very  sudden. 

"  I  speak  from  myself  only,"  replied  Mrs.  Deni- 
son,  calmly. 

"  If  her  heart  is  not  mine,  whose  is  it  ?" 

Dexter  showed  strong  excitement. 

"  I  am  not  her  confidant." 


THE   L1FE-TEIAL8   OF   JESSIE   LOKING.  89 

"  Who  is  ?  Somebody  must  speak  from  her,  if  I 
am  to  credit  your  assertion." 

"  Calm  yourself,  my  ^young  friend,"  said  Mrs. 
Denison  ;  "  there  are  signs  which  a  woman  can 
read  as  plainly  as  if  they  were  written  words ;  and 
I  have  felt  too  deep  an  interest  in  this  matter  not  to 
have  marked  every  sign.  Miss  Loring  is  not  happy, 
and  the  shadow  upon  her  spirit  grows  darker  every 
day.  Before  this  engagement,  her  glad  soul  looked 
eVer  out  in  beauty  from  her  eyes ;  now — but  I  need 
not  describe  to  you  .the  change.  You  have  noted 
its  progress.  It  is  an  extreme  conclusion  that 
her  heart  is  not  in  the  alliance  she  is  about*  to 
form." 

A  long  silence  followed. 

"  If  you  were  certain  that  I  am  right — if,  with 
her  own  lips,  Jessie  Loring  were  to  confirm  what  I 
have  said — what  then  ?" 

"  I  would  release  her  from  this  engagement ;  and 
she  might  go  her  ways !  The  world  is  wide." 

He  spoke  with  some  bitterness. 

"  The  way  is  plain,  then.  From  what  I  have  said, 
you  are  fully  warranted  in  talking  to  her  without 
reserve.  Quote  me  if  you  please.  Say  that  I  made 
bold  to  assert  that  you  did  not  possess  the  key  that 


90      THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART;  OB, 

would  unlock  the  sacred  places  of  her  heart ;  and 
you  may  add  further,  that  I  say  the  key  is  held  lyy 
another.  This  will  bring  the  right  issue.  If  she 
truly  loves  you,  there  will  be  no  mistaking  her  re 
sponse.  If  she  accepts  the  release  you  offer,  happy 
will  you  be  in  making  the  most  fortunate  escape 
of  your  life." 

"  I  will  do  it !"  exclaimed  Dexter,  rising,  "  and 
this  very  night !" 

"  If  done  at  all,  it  were  well  done  quickly."  said 
Mrs.  Denison,  rising  also.  "  And  now,  my  young 
friend,  let  what  will  be  the  result,  think  of  me  as 
one  who,  under  the  pressure  of  a  high  sense  of 
responsibility,  has  simply  discharged  a  painful 
duty.  I  have  no  personal  or  private  ends  to  gain  ; 
all  I  desire  is  to  save  two  hearts  from  making  ship 
wreck.  If  successful,  I  shall  have  my  reward." 

"  One  question,  Mrs.  Denison,"  said  Dexter,  as 
they  Were  about  separating.  "Its  answer  may 
give  me  light,  and  the  strength  to  go  forward.  I 
have  marked  your  words  and  manner  very  closely; 
and  this"is  my  conclusion  :  You  not  only  believe 
that  I  do  not  possess  the  love  of  Jessie  Loring,  but 
your  thought  points  to  another  man  whom  you  be 
lieve  does  rule  in  her  affections.  Am  I  wrong  ?" 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS    OP   JESSIE    LORING.  91 

The  suddenfiess  of  the  question  confused  Mrs. 
Denison.  Her  eyes  sunk  under  his  gaze,  and  for 
some  moments  her  self  possession  was  lost.  But, 
rallying  herself,  she  answered  : 

"  Not  wholly  wrong." 

Dexter's  countenance  grew  dark. 

"  His  name ! — give  me  his  name !" 

He  spoke  with  agitation. 

"  That  is  going  a  step  too  far,"  said  Mrs.  Denison, 
with  firmness. 

"  Is  it  Hendrickson  ?" 

•  « 

Dexter  looked  keenly  into  the  lady's  face. 

"  A  step  too  far,  sir,"  she  repeated.  "  I  cannot 
answer  your  inquiry." 

"  You  must  answer  it,  madam !"  He  was  imper 
ative.  "  I  demand  the  yes  or  no.  Is  it  or  is  it 
not  Paul  Hendrickson  ?" 

"  Your  calmer  reason,  sir,  will  tell  you  to-mor 
row  that  I  was  right  in  refusing  to  give  any  man's 
name  in  this  connection,"  replied  Mrs.  Denison. 
"  I  am  pained  to  see  you  so  much  disturbed.  My 
hope  was,  that  you  would  go  to  Miss  Loring  in  the 
grave  dignity  of  manhood — But,  while  in  this 
spirit  of  angry  excitement,  I  pray  you  keep  far 
from  her." 


92      THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT  ;  OK, 

* 

"  Hendrickson  is  the  man !"  said  Dexter,  his 
brows  still  contracting  heavily.  "  But  if  he  still 
hopes  to  rival  me  in  Jessie's  love,  he  will  find  him 
self  vastly  in  error.  No,  no,  madam  !  If  it  is  for 
him  you  are  interested,  you  had  better  give  it  up. 
I  passed  him  in  the  race  long  ago  !" 

A  feeling  of  disgust  arose  in  the  mind  of  Mrs. 
Denison,  mingled  with  a  stronger  feeling  of  con 
tempt.  But  she  answered  without  a  visible  sign  of 
either. 

"  I  am  sorry  that  you  have  let  the  form  of  any 
person  come  in  to  give  right  thought  and  honor 
able  purpose  a  distorting  bias.  I  did  hope  that 
you  would  see  Miss  Loring  under  t^e  influence  of 
a  better  state.  And  I  pray  you  still  to  be  calm, 
rational,  generous,  manly.  Go  to  her  in  a  noble, 
unselfish  spirit.  If  you  love  her  truly  you  desire 
her  happiness;  and  to  make  her  happy,  would 
even  release  her  pledged  hand,  were  such  a  sacri 
fice  needed." 

"You  give  me  credit  for  more  virtue  than  I 
claim  to  possess,"  was  answered,  a  little  sarcas 
tically.  "  Love  desires  to  hold,  not  lose  its  object." 

"  Enough,  nly  young  friend,"  said  Mrs.  Denison, 
in  her  calm,  earnest  way.  "  We  will  not  bandy 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS    OF   JESSIE   LOSING.  93 

words — that  would  be  fruitless.  I  grieve  that  you 
should  have  misunderstood  me  in  even  the  least 
thing,  or  let  the  slightest  suggestion  of  a  sinister 
motive  find  a  lodgment  in  your  mind.  I  have  had 
no  purpose  but  a  good  one  to  serve,  and  shall  be 
conscience-clear  in  the  matter.  A  more  delicate 
task  than  this  was  never  undertaken.  That  I  have 
not  succeeded  according  to  my  wishes,  is  no  matter 
of  surprise." 

"  Good  evening,  madam  !" 
Dexter  bowed  with  a  cold  formality* 
"  Good  evening  !"  was  mildly  returned. 
And  so  the  young  man  went  away. 
"  I  fear  that  only  harm  will  come  of  this,"  said 
Mrs.  Denison,  as  she  retired  from  the  door.      "I 
meant  it  for  the  best,  and  pray  that  no  evil  may 
follow  the  indiscretion,  if  such  it  be  1" 


94:      THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEABT  ;  OE, 


CHAPTEE  IX. 

MRS.  DENISON'S  fears  were  prophetic.  Evil,  not 
good,  came  of  her  well  meant  efforts  to  prevent  the 
coming  sacrifice.  Instead  of  awakening  generous 
impulses  in  the  mind  of  Leon  Dexter,  only  anger 
and  jealousy  were  aroused;  and  as  they  gained 
strength,  love  withdrew  itself,  for  love  could  not 
breathe  the  same  atmosphere.  The  belief  that 
Hendrickson  was  the  man  to  whom  Mrs.  Denison 
referred,  was  fully  confirmed  by  this  fact.  Dexter 
had  resolved  to  see  Miss  Loring  that  very  evening, 
and  was  only  a  short  distance  from  her  home,  and 
in  sight  of  the  door,  when  he  saw  a  man  ascend 
the  steps  and  ring.  He  stopped  and  waited.  A 
servant  came  to  the  door  and  the  caller  entered. 
For  a  time,  the  question  was  revolved  as  to  whether 
he  should  follow,  or  not. 

"It  is  Hendrickson.  I'll  wager  my  life  on 
it !" — he  muttered,  grinding  his  teeth  together. 
"  There  is  a  cursed  plot  on  foot,  and  this  insinuat- 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LORING.  95 

ing,  saintly  Mrs.  Denison,  is  one  of  the  plotters  ! 
My  very  blood  is  seething  at  the  thought.  Shall  I 
go  in  now,  and  confront  him  at  his  devilish  work  ?" 

"  It  were  better  not,"  he  said,  after  a  brief  strug 
gle  with  his  feelings.  "I  am  too  excited,  and 
cannot  answer  for  myself.  A  false  step  now  might 
ruin  all.  First,  let  me  cage  my  singing  bird,  and 
then  " 

He  strode  onwards  and  passed  the  house  of  Mrs. 
Loring  with  rapid  steps.  There  was  a  light  in  the 
parlor,  and  he  heard  the  sound  of  voices.  Ten 
minutes  after,  he  returned — the  light  was  there 
still ;  but  though  he  went  by  slowly,  with  noiseless 
footsteps — listening — not  a  murmur  reached  his 

ears. 

"  He  is  there,  a  subtle  tempter,  whispering  his 

honeyed  allurements  !"  It  was  the  fiend  Jealousy 
speaking  in  his  heart.  "  Madness  !"  he  ejaculated, 
and  he  strode  up  the  marble  steps.  Grasping  the 
bell,  he  resolved  to  enter.  But  something  held 
back  his  hand,  and  another  voice  said — "  "Wait ! 
Wait !  A  single  error  now  were  fatal." 

Slowly  he  descended,  his  ear  bent  to  the  win 
dows,  listening — slowly,  still  listening,  he  moved 
onwards  again ;  his  whole  being  convulsed  in  a 


96      THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART;  OK, 

stronger  conflict  of  passion  than  he  had  ever  known 
— reason  at  fault  and  perception  blindfold. 

A  full  half  hour  had -elapsed,  when  Dexter  re 
appeared.  He  was  in  a  calmer  frame  of  mind. 
Keason  was  less  at  fault,  and  perception  clearer. 
His  purpose  was  to  go  in  now,  confront  Jessie  and 
Mr.  Hendrickson,  and  act  from  that  point  onward 
as  the  nature  of  the  case  might  suggest.  He 
glanced  at  the  parlor  windows.  There  was  no 
light  there  now.  The  visitor  had  departed.  He 
felt  relieved,  yet  disappointed. 

"  Is  Miss  Loring  at  home  ?"  he  asked  of  the  ser 
vant. 

"  Yes,  sir."  And  he  entered.  The  lights,  which 
were  burning  low  in  the  parlors,  were  raised,  and 
Dexter  sat  down  and  awaited  the  appearance  of 
Jessie. 

How  should  he  meet  her  ?  With  the  warmth  of 
a  lover,  or  the  distance  of  a  mere  acquaintance  ? 
Would  it  be  wise  to  speak  of  his  interview  with 
Mrs.  Denison,  or  let  that  subject  pass  untouched  by 
even  the  remotest  allusion?  Mr.  Dexter  was  still 
in  debate,  when  he  heard  some  one  descending  the 
stairs.  Steps  were  in  the  passage  near  the  door. 
He  arose,  and  stood  expectant. 


THE    LIFE-TRIALS    OF   JESSIE    LOKING.  97 

"  Miss  Loring  says,  will  you  please  excuse  her 
this  evening  ?" 

"Excuse  her!"  Mr.  Dexter  could  not  veil  his 
surprise.  "Why  does  she  wish  to  be  excused, 
Mary  ?" 

"  I  don't  know  sir.     She  didn't  say." 

"  Is  she  sick  ?" 

"  I  don't  think  she  is  very  well.  Something  isn't 
right  with  her,  poor  child !" 

"  What  isn't  right  with  her  ?" 

"  I  don't  know,  sir.  But  she  was  crying  when  I 
went  into  her  room." 

"  Crying  ?" 

"  Yes,  sir ;  and  she  cries  a  great  deal,  all  alone 
there  by  herself,  sir,"  added  Mary,  who  had  her 
own  reasons  for  believing  that  Dexter  was  not 
really  the  heart-choice  of  Jessie — and  with  the  tact 
of  her  sex,  took  it  upon  herself  to  throw  a  little  cold 
water  over  his  ardor.  It  may  be  that  she  hoped 
to  give  it  a  thorough  chill. 

"  What  does  she  cry  about,  Mary  ?" 

"  Dear  knows,  sir  !  I  often  wonder  to  see  it,  and 
she  so  soon  to  be  married.  It  doesn't  look  just 
natural.  There's  something  wrong." 

"  Wrong?     How  wrong,  Mary?" 
5 


98      THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  J  OE, 

"  That's  just  what  I  asked  myself  over  and  over 
again,"  replied  the  girl. 

"  She  had  a  visitor  here  to-night,"  said  Dexter, 
after  a  moment  or  two.  He  tried  to  speak  indiffer 
ently  ;  but  the  quick  perception  of  Mary  detected 
the  covert  interest  in  his  tones. 

"  Yes."  A  single  cold  monosylable  was  her 
reply. 

"  Who  was  he  ?" 

"  'Deed  I  don't  know,  sir." 

"  Was  he  a  stranger  ?" 

"  I  didn't  see  him,  sir,"  answered  Mary. 

"  You  let  him  in  ?" 

"  No,  sir.     The  cook  went  to  the  door." 

Dexter  bit  his  lips  with  disappointment. 

"  Will  you  say  to  Miss  Loring  that  I  wish  to  see 
her  particularly  to-night." 

Mary  hesitated. 

"  Why  don't  you  take  up  my  request  ?"  He 
spoke  with  covert  impatience. 

"  I  am  sure  she  wishes  to  be  excused  to-night," 
persisted  the  girl.  "  She's  not  at  all  herself ;  and  it 
will  be  cruel  to  drag  her  down." 

But  Dexter  waved  his  hand,  and  said,  sharply  : 

"  I  wish  to  hear  no  more  from  you,  Miss  Pert ! 


THE    LIFE-TRIALS    OF   JESSIE    LOKING.  99 

Go  to  Miss  Loring,  and  tell  her  that  she  will  confer 
a  favor  by  seeing  me  this  evening.  I  can  receive 
no  apology  but  sickness." 

Jessie  was  sitting  as  Mary  had  left  her,  both 
hands  covering  her  face,  when  that  kind-hearted 
creature  returned. 

"  It's  too  much !"  exclaimed  the  girl,  as  she 
entered.  "  He  must  see  you,  he  says.  I  told  him 
you  wasn't  well,  and  wished  to  be  excused.  But 
no,  he  must  see  you !  Something's  gone  wrong 
with  him.  He's  all  out  of  sorts,  and  spoke  as  if 
he'd  take  my  head  off.  He  really  frightened  me !" 

Jessie  drew  a  long  deep  sigh. 

"  If  I  must,  I  must,"  she  said,  rising  and  looking 
at  her  face  in  the  mirror. 

"  I  wouldn't  go  one  step,  Miss  Jessie,  if  I  were 
you.  I'd  like  to  see  the  man  who  dared  order  me 
down  in  this  style.  He's  jealous;  that's  the  long 
and  short  of  it.  Punish  him — he  deserves  it." 

"  Jealous,  Mary  ?"  Miss  Loring  turned  to  the 
girl  with  a  startled  look.  "Why  do  you  say 
that?" 

"  Oh,  he  asked  me  if  you  hadn't  a  visitor  to 
night." 

"Well?" 


100     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  ;  OK, 

i:  I  said  yes.     Only  '  yes,'  and  no  more." 
. «  Why  yes,  and  no  more  ?"  asked  Miss  Loring. 

"  D'ye  think  I  was  going  to  gratify  him  !"  What 
business  had  he  to  ask  whether  you  had  a  visitor  or 
not  ?  You  ain't  sold  to  him." 

"  Mary !"  There  was  reproof  in  the  look  and 
voice  of  Miss  Loring.  "  You  must  not  speak  so 
of  Mr.  Dexter." 

"  Well,  I  won't  if  it  displeases  you.  But  I  was 
downright  mad  with  him." 

"  You  said  yes  to  his  question.  What  then, 
Mary?" 

"  Oh,  then  he  wanted  to  know  who  he  was." 

"  Did  you  tell  him  ?" 

"No." 

"  Why  ?    And  what  did  you  answer  ?" 

"  I  wasn't  going  to  gratify  him  ;  and  T  said  that 
I  didn't  know." 

"  Well  ?" 

" '  Was  he  a  stranger  ?'  said  he.  '  I  didn't  see 
him,'  said  I.  '  You  let  him  in  ?'  said  he.  '  No, 
the  cook  went  to  the  door,'  said  I.  You  should 
have  seen  him  then.  He  was  baffled.  Then  look 
ing  almost  savage,  he  bid  me  tell  you  that  you 
must  see  him  to-night." 


THE   LIFE-TKIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOEING.  101 

"  Must  see  him  !     Did  he  say  must  ?" 

There  was  rebellion  in  Jessie's  voice. 

"  WelL  no,  not  just  that  word.  But  he  looked 
and  meant  it,  which  is  all  the  same." 

"  Then  he  doesn't  know  who  called  to  see  me  ?" 

"  Not  from  all  he  got  from  me,  miss.  But  you're 
not  going  down  ?" 

"  Yes,  Mary ;  I  will  see  him  as  he  desires.  Go 
and  say  that  I  will  join  him  in  a  few  minutes." 

The  girl  obeyed,  and  Jessie,  after  struggling  a  few 
moments  with  her  feelings,  went  down  to  the  par 
lor,  where  Mr.  Dexter  awaited  her. 

"  I  am  sorry  to  learn  that  you  are  not  well  this 
evening,"  said  the  young  man,  as  he  advanced 
across  the  room,  with  his  eyes  fixed  intently  on  the 
face  of  his  betrothed.  She  tried  to  smile,  and 
receive  him  with  her  usual  kindness  of  manner. 
But  this  was  impossible.  She  had  been  profoundly 
disturbed,  and  that  too  recently  for  self-possession. 

"  "What  ails  you  ?"     Has  anything  happened  ?" 

Jessie  had  not  yet  trusted  her  lips  with  words. 
The  tones  of  Dexter  evinced  some  fretfulness. 

"  I  am  not  very  well,"  she  said,  partly  turning 
away  her  face  that  she  might  avoid  the  searching 
scrutiny  of  his  eyes. 


102     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART;  OK, 

Dexter  took  her  hand  and  led  her  to  a  sofa. 
They  sat  down,  side  by  side,  in  silence — ice  between 
them. 

"  Have  you  been  indisposed  all  day  ?"  inquired 
Dexter. 

"  I  have  not  been  very  well  for  some  time,"  was 
answered  in  a  husky  voice,  and  in  a  manner  that 
he  thought  evasive. 

Again  there  was  silence. 

"  I  called  to  see  Mrs.  Denison  this  evening,"  said 
Dexter ;  and  then  waited  almost  breathlessly  for  a 
response,  looking  at  Jessie  stealthily  to  note  the 
effect  of  his  words. 

"  Did  you  ?" 

"  There  was  scarcely  a  sign  of  interest  in  her  voice. 

"  Yes.    You  have  met  her,  I  believe  ?" 

"  A  few  times." 

"  Have  you  seen  her  recently  ?" 

"  No." 

Dexter  gained  nothing  by  this  advance. 

"  What  do  you  think  of  her  ?"  he  added,  after  a 
pause. 

"  She  is  a  lady  of  fine  social  qualities  and  supe 
rior  worth." 

Again  the  young  man  was  silent.     He  could  not 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LORING.  103 

discover  by  Jessie's  manner  that  she  had  any 
special  interest  in  Mrs.  Denison.  This  was  some 
relief ;  for  it  removed  the  impression  that  there  was 
an  understanding  between  them. 

"  I  don't  admire  her  a  great  deal,"  he  said,  with 
an  air  of  indifference.  "  She's  a  little  too  prying 
and  curious ;  and  I'm  afraid,  likes  to  gossip." 

"  Ah  !  I  thought  her  particularly  free  from  that 
vice." 

"  I  had  that  impression  also.  But  my  interview 
this  evening  gave  me  a  different  estimate  of  her 
character." 

"  Did  you  come  from  Mrs.  Denison's  directly 
here  ?"  asked  Jessie  in  a  changed  tone,  as  if  some 
thought  of  more  than  common  interest  had  flitted 
through  her  mind.  This  change  Dexter  did  not  fail 
to  observe. 

"  I  did,"  was  his  answer. 

"  Then  I  may  infer,"  said  Jessie,  "  that  your 
pressing  desire  to  see  me  this  evening  has  grown 
out  of  something  you  heard  from  the  lips  of  Mrs. 
Denison.  Am  I  right  in  this  conclusion  ?" 

Dexter  was  not  quite  prepared  for  this.  After  a 
slight  hesitation  he  answered — 

"  Partly  so." 


104     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAET  ;  OK, 

The  cold  indifferent  manner  of  Jessie  Loring 
passed  away  directly. 

"  If  you  have  anything  to  communicate,  as  of 
course  you  have,  say  on,  Mr.  Dexter." 

As  little  prepared  was  he  for  this ;  and  quite  as 
little  for  the  almost  stately  air  with  which  Jessie 
drew  up  her  slight  form,  returning  his  glances  with 
so  steady  a  gaze  that  his  eyes  fell. 

The  hour  and  the  opportunity  had  come.  But 
Leon  Dexter  had  neither  the  manliness  nor  the  cou 
rage  to  speak. 

"Did  Mrs.  Denison  introduce  my  name?"  asked 
Jessie,  seeing  that  her  lover  had  failed  to  answer. 
There  was  not  a  quiver  in  her  voice,  nor  the  slight 
est  failing  in  her  eyes. 

"  Yes ;  casually."    Dexter  spoke  with  evasion. 

"  "What  did  she  say  ?" 

"  Nothing  but  what  was  good,"  said  Dexter,  now 
trying  to  resume  his  wonted  pleasant  exterior. 
"  What  else  could  she  say  ?  You  look  as  if  there 
had  been  a  case  of  slander." 

"She  said  something  in  connection  with  my 
name,"  answered  Jessie  firmly,  "  that  disturbed  you. 
Now  as  you  have  disclosed  so  much,  I  must  know 
all." 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOKING.  105 

"  I  have  made  no  disclosures."  Dexter  seemed 
annoyed. 

"  You  said  you  were  at  Mrs.  Denison's." 

"Yes." 

"  And  said  it  with  a  meaning.  I  noticed  both 
tone  and  manner.  You  came  directly  here,  ac 
cording  to  your  own  admission,  and  asked  for  me. 
Not  being  well,  I  desired  to  be  excused.  But  you 
would  take  no  excuse.  Your  manner  to  the  ser 
vant  was  not  only  disturbed,  but  imperative.  To 
me  it  is  constrained,  and  altogether  different  from 
anything  I  have  hitherto  noticed.  So  much  is 
disclosed.  Now  I  wish  you  to  go  on  and  tell  the 
whole  story.  Then  we  shall  understand  each  other. 
What  has  Mrs.  Denison  said  about  me  that  has  so 
ruffled  your  feelings  ?" 

There  was  no  retreat  for  the  perplexed  young 
man.  He  must  go  forward  in  some  path — straight 
or  tortuous — manly  or  evasive.  There  was  too 
much  apparent  risk  in  the  former ;  and  so  he  chose 
the  latter.  All  at  once  his  exterior  changed.  The 
clouded  brow  put  on  a  sunny  aspect. 

"  Forgive  me,  dear  Jessie  !"  he  said  with  ardor, 
and  a  restored  tenderness  of  manner.  "  True  love 
has  ever  a  touch  of  jealousy ;  and  something  that 
5* 


106     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT  ;  OR, 

Mrs.  Denison  intimated  aroused  that  darker  passion. 
But  the  shadowed  hour  has  passed,  and  I  am  in 
the  clear  sunlight  again." 
He  raised  her  hand  to  his  lips,  and  kissed  it  with 

fervor. 

"What  did  she  intimate?"  asked  Miss  Loring. 
Her  manner  was  less  excited,  and  her  tone  less  im 
perative. 

"  What  I  now  see  to  be  false,"  said  Dexter.  "  I 
•was  disturbed  because  I  imagined  intrigue,  and 
a  purpose  to  rob  me  of  something  I  prize  more 
dearly  than  life — the  love  of  my  Jessie." 

"Intrigue!"  was  answered;  "you  fill  me  with 
surprise.  Mrs.  Denison,  if  I  understand  her,  is  in 
capable  of  anything  so  dishonorable." 

"  I  don't  know."  Mr.  Dexter  spoke  with  the 
manner  of  one  in  doubt,  and  as  if  questioning  his 
own  thoughts.  "  She  has  filled  my  mind  with  dark 
suspicions.  Why,  Jessie !"  and  he  assumed  a  more 
animated  exterior,  "  she  went  so  far  as  to  intimate  a 
disingenuous  spirit  in  you  !" 

"In  me!"  Miss  Loring's  surprise  was  natural. 
"  Disingenuousness  !" 

"  That  word  is  not  the  true  one,"  said  Dexter. 
"  What  she  said  meant  something  more." 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF    JESSIE   LORING.  107 

"What?" 

"  That  you  were — but  I  will  not  pain  your  ears, 
darling!  Forgive  my  foolish  indignation.  Love 
with  me  is  so  vital  a  thing,  that  the  remotest  sus 
picion  of  losing  its  object,  brings  .smarting  pain. 
You  are  all  the  world  to  me,  Jessie,  and  the  inti 
mation  " • 

"  Of  what,  Leon  ?" 

He  had  left  the  sentence  unfinished.  Dexter  was 
holding  one  of  her  hands.  She  did  not  attempt  to 
withdraw  it. 

"  That  you  were  false  to  me  !" 

The  words  caused  Miss  Loring  to  spring  to  her 
feet.  Bright  spots  burned  on  her  cheeks,  and  her 
eyes  flashed. 

"  False  to  you  !  What  did  she  mean  by  such 
words  ?"  was  demanded. 

"  It  was  the  entering  wedge  of  suspicion,"  said 
Dexter.  "  But  the  trick  has  failed.  My  heart  tells 
me  that  you  are  the  soul  of  honor.  If  I  was  dis 
turbed,  is  that  a  cause  of  wonder  ?  Would  not 
such  an  allegation  against  me  have  disturbed  you  ? 
It  would !  But  that  your  heart  is  pure  and  true  as 
an  angel's,  I  best  know  of  all  the  living.  Dear 
Jessie  !"and  he  laid  a  kiss  upon  her  burning  cheek, 


108     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HKART  ;  OK, 

"  I  shall  never  cease  to  blame  myself  for  the  part  I 
have  played  this  evening.  Had  I  loved  you  less  I 
had  been  calmer." 

"  False  in  what  way  ?"  asked  Miss  Loring,  un 
satisfied  with  so  vague  an  answer. 

"  False  to  your  vows,  of  course.  What  else  could 
she  mean  ?" 

"  Did  she  say  that  ?" 

"No — of  course  not.  But  she  conveyed  the 
meaning  as  clearly  as  if  she  had  uttered  the  plain 
est  language." 

"  What  were  her  words  ?"  asked  Miss  Loring. 

"  I  cannot  repeat  them.  She  spoke  with  great 
caution,  keeping  remote,  as  to  words,  from  the  mat 
ter  first  in  her  thought,  yet  filling  my  mind  with 
vague  distrust,  or  firing  it  with  jealousy  at  every 
sentence." 

"Can  you  fix  a  single  clear  remark — something 
that  I  can  repeat  ?" 

"  Not  one.  The  whole  interview  impresses  me 
like  a  dream.  Only  the  disturbance  remains. 
But  let  it  pass  as  a  dream,  darling — a  nightmare 
created  by  some  spirit  of  evil.  A  single  glance 
into  your  dear  face  and  loving  eyes  rebukes  my 
folly  and  accuses  me  of  wrong.  We  are  all  the 


THE   LIFE-TEIALS    OF   JESSIE   LORING.  109 

world  to  each  other,  and  no  shadow  even  shall  come 
again  between  our  souls  and  happiness." 

Jessie  resumed  her  seat  and  questioned  no  far 
ther.  Was  she  satisfied  with  the  explanation  ? 
Of  course  not.  But  her  lover  was  adroit,  and  she 
became  passive. 

"  You  cannot  wonder  now,"  he  said,  "  that  I  was 
so  anxious  to  see  you  this  evening.  I  might  have 
spared  you  this  interview,  and  it  would  have  been 
better,  perhaps,  if  I  had  done  so.  But  excited 
lovers  are  not  always  the  most  reasonable  beings 
in  the  world.  I  could  not  have  slept  to-night. 
ISTow  I  shall  find  the  sweetest  slumber  that  has  yet 
refreshed  my  spirit — and  may  your  sleep,  dearest, 
be  gentle  as  the  sleep  of  flowers !  I  will  leave  you 
now,  for  I  remember  that  you  are  far  from  being 
well  this  evening.  It  will  grieve  me  to  think  that 
my  untimely  intrusion,  and  this  disturbing  hour, 
may  increase  the  pain  you  suffer  or  rob  you  of  a 
moment's  repose. — Good  night,  love !"  and  he 
kissed  her  tenderly.  "  Good  night,  precious  one !" 
he  added.  "May  angels  be  your  companions 
through  the  dark  watches,  and  bring  you  to  a  glori 


ous  morning !" 


He  left  her,  and  moved  towards  the  door ;  yet 


110     THE  HAND  EOT  NOT  THE  HEART  J  OK, 

lingered,  for  his  mind  was  not  wholly  at  ease  in 
regard  to  the  state  of  Jessie's  feelings.  She  had 
not  repelled  him  in  any  way — but  his  ardent  words 
and  acts  were  too  passively  received.  She  was 
standing  where  he  had  parted  from  her,  with  her 
eyes  upon  the  floor. 

"  Jessie !" 
.    She  looked  up. 

"  Good  night,  dear  !" 

"  Good  night,  Mr.  Dexter." 

"  Mr.  Dexter !"  The  young  man  repeated  the 
words  between  his  teeth,  as  he  passed  into  the  street 
a  moment  afterwards.  "  Mr.  Dexter !  and  in  tones 
that  were  cold  as  an  icicle  !" 

He  strode  away  from  the  house  of  Mrs.  Loring, 
but  little  comforted  by  his  interview  with  Jessie, 
and  with  the  fiend  J  ealousy  a  permanent  guest  in 
his  heart. 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOKING.  Ill 


CHAPTER  X. 

LEON  DEXTEK  was  not  wrong  in  his  suspicions. 
It  was  Hendrickson  who  visited  Miss  Loring  on  the 
evening  of  his  interview  with  Mrs.  Denison.  The 
young  man  had  striven,  with  all  the  power  he  pos 
sessed,  to  overcome  his  fruitless  passion — but  stri 
ven  in  vain. — The  image  of  Miss  Loring  had 
burned  itself  into  his  heart,  and  become  ineffacea 
ble.  The  impression  she  had  made  upon  him  was 
different  from  that  made  by  any  woman  he  had  yet 
chanced  to  meet,  and  he  felt  that,  in  some  mysteri 
ous  way,  their  destinies  were  bound  up  together. 
That,  in  her  heart,  she  preferred  him  to  the  man 
who  was'  about  to  sacrifice  her  at  the  marriage  altar 
he  no  longer  doubted. 

"  Is  it  right  to  permit  this  sacrifice  ?"  The  ques 
tion  had  thrust  itself  upon  him  for  days  and  weeks. 
"  Leon  Dexter  cannot  fill  the  desire  of  her  heart." 
Thus  ho  talked  with  himself.  "  She  does  not  love  ; 
and  to  such  a  woman  a  marriage  unblessed  by  love 


112     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  ;  OK, 

must  be  a  condition  worse  than  death.  No — no ! 
It  shall  not  be !  Steadily  she  is  moving  on,  nerved 
by  a  false  sense  of  honor ;  and  unless  some  one 
comes  to  the  rescue,  the  fatal  vow  will  be  made 
that  seals  the  doom  of  her  happiness  and  mine.  It 
must  not — shall  not  be!  Who  so  fitting  as  I  to  be 
her  rescuer  ?  She  loves  me  !  Eyes,  lips,  counte 
nance,  tones,  gestures,  all  have  been  my  witnesses. 
Only  an  hour  too  late !  Too  late  ?  No — no  !  I 
will  not  believe  the  words !  She  shall  yet  be  mine !" 
It  was  in  this  spirit,  and  under  the  pressure  of 
such  feelings,  that  Paul  Hendrickson  visited  Jessie 
Loring  on  the  night  Dexter  saw  him  enter  the . 
house.  The  interview  was  not  a  very  long  one,  as 
the  reader  knows.  He  sent  up  his  card,  and  Miss 
Loring  returned  for  answer,  that  she  would  see  him 
in  a  few  moments.  Full  five  minutes  elapsed  before 
she  left  her  room.  It  had  taken  her  nearly  all  that 
time  to  school  her  agitated  feelings  ;  for  on  seeing 
his  name,  her  heart  had  leaped  with  an  irrepressi 
ble  impulse.  She  looked  down  into  her  heart,  and 
questioned  as  to  the  meaning  of  this  disturbance. 
The  response  was  clear.  Paul  Hendrickson  was 
more  to  her  than  any  living  man  ! 

"  He  should  have  spared  me  an  interview,  alone," 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF  JESSIE   LOKING.  113 

she  said  to  herself.  "  Better  for  botli  of  us  not  to 
meet." 

This  was  her  state  of  feeling,  when  after  repress 
ing,  as  far  as  possible,  every  unruly  emotion,  she 
left  her  room  and  took  her  way  down  stairs. 

"  Is  not  this  imprudent  ?"  The  mental  question 
arrested  the  footsteps  of  Miss  Loring,  ere  she  had 
proceeded  five  paces  from  the  door  of  her  chamber. 

"Is  not  what  imprudent?"  was  answered  back  in 
her  thoughts. 

"What  folly  is  this!"  she  said,  in  self-rebuke, 
and  passed  onward. 

"  Miss  Loring !"  There  was  too  much  feeling  in 
Hendrickson's  manner.  But  its  repression,  under 
the  circumstances,  was  impossible. 

"  Mr.  Hendrickson  !"  The  voice  of  Miss  Loring 
betrayed  far  more  of  inward  disturbance  than  she 
wished  to  appear. 

Their  hands  met.  They  looked  into  each  other's 
eyes — then  stood  for  some  moments  in  mutual 
embarrassment. 

"  You  are  almost  a  stranger,"  said  Jessie,  con 
scious  that  any  remark  was  better,  under  the  cir 
cumstances,  than  silence. 

"Ami?" 


114:     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT  \  OR, 

Hendrickson  still  held  her  hand,  and  still  gazed 
into  her  eyes.  The  ardor  of  his  glances  reminded 
her  of  duty  and  of  danger.  Her  hand  disengaged 
itself  from  his — her  eyes  fell  to  the  floor — a  deep 
crimson  suffused  her  countenance.  They  seated 
themselves — she  on  the  sofa,  and  he  on  a  chair 
drawn  close  beside,  or  rather  nearly  in  front  of  her. 
How  heavily  beat  the  maiden's  heart !  What  a 
pressure,  almost  to  suffocation,  was  on  her  bosom  ! 
She  felt  an  impending  sense  of  danger,  but  lacked 
the  resolution  to  flee. 

"  Miss  Loring,"  said  Hendrickson,  his  unsteady 
voice  betraying  his  inward  agitation,  "  when  I  last 
saw  you  " 

"  Sir  I"  There  was  a  sudden  sternness  in  the 
young  girl's  voice,  and  a  glance  of  warning  in  her 
eye.  But  the  visitor  was  not  to  be  driven  from  his 
purpose. 

"It  is  not  too  late,  Jessie  Loring!"  He  spoke 
with  eagerness. 

She  made  a  motion  as  if  about  to  rise,  but  he  said 
in  a  tone  that  restrained  her. 

"  ]$"o,  Miss  Loring  !  You  must  hear  what  I  have 
to  say  to-night." 

She  grew  very  pale  ;  but  looked  at  him  steadily. 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOKHSTQ.  115 

So  unexpected  were  his  intimations — so  imperative 
his  manner,  that  she  was,  in  a  degree,  bereft  for  the 
time  of  will. 

"You  should  have  spared  me  this,  Mr.  Hen- 
drickson,"  she  answered,  sadly,  and  with  a  gentle 
rebuke  in  her  tones. 

"  I  would  endure  years  of  misery  to  save  you 
from  a  moment's  pain  !"  was  quickly  replied.  "  And 
it  is  in  the  hope  of  being  able  to  call  down  Heaven's 
choicest  blessings  on  your  head,  that  I  am  here  to 
night.  Let  me  speak  without  reserve.  "Will  you 
hear  me  ?" 

Miss  Loring  made  no  sigh ;  only  her  eyelids 
drooped  slowly,  until  the  bright  orbs  beneath  were 
hidden  and  the  dark  lashes  lay  softly  on  her  color 
less  cheeks. 

"  There  is  one  thing,  Miss  Loring,"  he  began, 
"  known  to  yourself  and  me  alone.  It  is  our  secret. 
Nay !  do  not  go  !  Let  me  say  on  now,  and  I  will 
ever  after  hold  my  peace.  If  this  marriage  con 
tract,  so  unwisely  made,  is  not  broken,  two  lives 
will  be  made  wretched — yours  and  mine.  You  do 
not  love  Mr.  Dexter  !  You  cannot  love  him !  That 
were  as  impossible  as  for  light  to  be  enamored  of 
dark" 


116     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT',  OE, 

"  I  will  not  hear  you  !"  exclaimed  Miss  Loring, 
starting  to  her  feet.  But  Hendrickson  caught  her 
hand  and  restrained  her  by  force. 

"  You  must  hear  me !"  he  answered  passion 
ately. 

"  I  dare  not !" 

"  This  once  !  I  must  speak  now,  and  you  must 
hear  !  God  has  given  you  freedom  of  thought  and 
freedom  of  will.  Let  both  come  into  their  true 
activity.  The  holiest  things  of  your  life  demand 
this,-  Miss  Loring.  Sit  down  and  be  calm  again, 
and  let  us  talk  calmly.  I  will  repress  all  excite 
ment,  and  speak  with  reason.  You  shall  hearken 
and  decide.  There — I  thank  you  " 

Jessie  had  resumed  her  seat. 

"  "We  have  read  each  other's  hearts,  Mrss  Loring," 
Hendrickson  went  on.  His  voice  had  regained  its 
firmness,  and  he  spoke  in  low,  deep,  emphatic 
tones.  "  I,  at  least,  have  read  yours,  and  you  know 
mine.  Against  your  own  convictions  and  your 
own  feelings,  you  have  been  coerced  into  an  en 
gagement  of  marriage  with  a  man  you  do  not,  and 
never  can,  love  as  a  wife  should  love  a  husband. 
Consummate  that  engagement,  and  years  of  wretch 
edness  lie  before  you.  I  say  nothing  of  Mr.  Dex- 


THE   LIFE-TKIALS    OF   JESSIE   LOKING.  117 

ter  as  regards  honor,  probity,  and  good  feeling.  I 
believe  him  to  be  a  man  of  high  integrity.  His 
character  before  the  world  is  blameless — his  posi 
tion  one  to  be  envied.  But  you  do  not  love  him — 
you  cannot  love  him.  Nay  it  is  idle  to  repel  the 
assertion.  I  have  looked  down  too  deeply  into  your 
heart.  I  know  how  its  pulses  beat,  Jessie  Loring ! 
There  is  only  one  living  man  who  has  the  power  to 
unlock  its  treasures  of  affection.  To  all  others  it 
must  remain  eternally  sealed.  I  speak  solemnly — 
not  vainly.  And  your  soul  echoes  the  truth  of  my 
words.  It  is  not  yet  too  late !" 

"  You  should  not  have  said  this,  Mr.  Hendrick- 
son !"  Jessie  resolutely  disengaged  the  hand  he  had 
taken,  and  was  clasping  with  almost  vice-like  pres 
sure,  and  arose  to  her  feet.  He  did  not  rise,  but 
sat  looking  up  into  her  pale  suffering  face,  with  the 
light  of  hope,  which  for  a  moment  had  flushed  his 
own,  fast  decaying. 

"  You  should  not  have  said  this,  Mr.  Hendrick- 
son  !"  she  repeated,  in  a  steadier  voice.  "  It  is  too 
late,  and  only  makes  my  task  the  harder — my  bur 
den  heavier.  But  God  helping  me,  I  will  walk  for 
ward  in  the  right  path,  though  my  feet  be  lacerated 
at  every  step." 


118     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  J  OB, 

"  Is  it  a  right  path.  Miss  Loring  ?  I  declare  it  to 
be  the  wrong  path  !"  said  Hendrickson. 

"Let  God  and  my  own  conscience  judge  !"  was 
firmly  answered.  "  And  now,  sir,  leave  me.  Oh, 
leave  me." 

"  And  you  are  resolute  ?" 

"  I  am  !  God  being  my  helper,  I  will  go  forward 
in  the  path  of  duty.  When  I  faint  and  fall  by  the 
way  through  weakness,  the  trial  will  end." 

"  Friends,  wealth,  social  attractions — all  that  the 
world  can  give  will  be  yours.  But  my  way  must 
be  lonely — my  heart  desolate.  I  shall  be  " 

"  Go,  sir !"  Miss  Loring's  voice  was  impera 
tive,  and  there  was  a  flash  like  indignation  in  her 
eyes.  "  Go  sir !"  she  repeated.'  "  This  is  un 
manly  !" 

The  last  sentence  stung  Mr.  Hendrickson,  and  he 
arose  quickly.  Miss  Loring,  who  saw  the  effect  of 
her  words,  threw  up,  with  a  woman's  quick  instinct, 
this  further  barrier  between  them— 

"  I  marvel,  sir.  knowing,  as  you  do,  the  sacred 
obligations  under  which  I  rest,  that  you  should 
have  dared  utter  language  such  as  my  ears  have 
been  compelled  to  hear  this  night !  I  take  it  as  no 
compliment,  sir." 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LORING.  119 

The  young  man  attempted  to  speak  ;  but  with  a 
sternness  of  manner  that  sent  a  chill  to  his  heart, 
she  motioned  him  to  be  silent,  and  went  on — 

"  Let  this,  sir,  be  the  last  time  you  venture  to 
repeat  what  I  cannot  but  regard  as  dis  " 

Dishonorable  was  the  word  on  her  lips,  but  she 
suddenly  checked  herself.  She  could  not  say  that 
to  him. 

Waking  or  sleeping,  alone  or  in  society,  for  weeks, 
months  and  years  afterwards,  the  image  of  that 
young  man's  despairing  face,  as  she  saw  it  then, 
was  ever  before  her. 

"Insult!  Dishonor!"  he  said,  as  if  speaking  to 
himself.  "  I  could  die  for  her — but  not  that ! — not 
that !". 

And  without  a  parting  glance  or  a  parting  word, 
Paul  Hendrickson  turned  from  the  woman  who 
was  destined  to  influence  his  whole  life,  and  left 
her  alone  in  his  bewilderment  and  wretchedness. 
It  is  difficult  to  s#y  on  which  heart  the  heaviest  pres 
sure  fell,  or  which  life  was  most  hopeless.  It  is 
alleged  that  only  men  die  of  broken  hearts — that 
women  can  bear  the  crushing  heel  of  disappoint 
ment,  live  on  and  endure,  while  men  fall  by  the 
way,  and  perish  in  the  strife  of  passion.  It  may  be 


120     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT  ;  OK, 

so.  We  know  not.  In  the  present  case  the  harder 
lot  was  on  Miss  Loring.  If  she  bore  her  pain  with 
less  of  exterior  token,  it  is  no  argument  in  favor  of 
the  lighter  suffering.  The  patiently  enduring  often- 
est  bear  the  most. 


THE   LIFE-TKIALS   OF  JESSIE  LOKIKO-.  121 


CHAPTER  XI. 

THE  efforts  which  were  made  to  save  Miss  Lor- 
ing,  only  had  the  effect  to  render  the  sacrifice  more 
acutely  painful.  Evil  instead  of  good  followed 
Mrs.  Denison's  appeals  to  Mr.  Dexter.  They  served 
but  to  arouse  the  demon  jealousy  in  his  heart. 
Upon  Hendrickson's  movements  he  set  the  wariest 
surveillance.  Twice,  since  that  never-to-be-for 
gotten  evening  he  met  the  young  man  in  company 
when  Jessie  was  present.  With  an  eye  that  never 
failed  for  an  instant  in  watchfulness,  he  noted  his 
countenance  and  movements ;  and  he  kept  on  his 
betrothed  as  keen  an  observation.  Several  times  he 
left  her  alone,  in  order  to  give  Hendricksou  an  op 
portunity  to  get  into  her  company.  But  there  was 
too  studied  avoidance  of  contact.  Had  they  met 
casually  and  exchanged  a  few  pleasant  words,  suspi 
cion  would  have  been  allayed.  As  it  was,  jealousy 
gave  its  own  interpretation  to  their  conduct. 

On  the  last  of  these  occasions  referred  to,  from  a 
6 


122     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  ;  OK, 

position  where  he  deemed  himself  beyond  the  dan 
ger  of  casual  observation,  Hendrickson  searched 

n  ' 

with  his  eyes  for  the  object  of  his  undying  regard. 
He  saw  her,  sitting  alone,  not  far  distant.  Her 
manner  was  that  of  one  lost  in  thought — the  ex 
pression  of  her  countenance  dreamy,  and  overcast 
with  a  shade  of  sadness.  How  long  he  had  been 
gazing  upon  her  face,  the  young  man  could  not 
have  told,  so  absorbed  was  he  in  the  feelings  her 
presence  had  awakened,  when  turning  almost  in 
voluntarily  his  eyes  caught  the  gleam  of  another 
pair  of  eyes  that  were  fixed  intently  upon  him.  So 
suddenly  had  he  turned,  that  the  individual  observ 
ing  him  was  left  without  opportunity  to  change  in 
any  degree  the  expression  of  his  eyes  or  counten 
ance.  It  was  almost  malignant.  That  individual 
was  Leon  Dexter. 

In  spite  of  himself,  Hendrickson  showed  confu 
sion,  and  was  unable  to  return  the  steady  gaze  that 
rested  upon  him.  His  eyes  fell.  When  lie  looked 
up  again,  which  was  in  a  moment,  Dexter  had  left 
his  position,  and  was  crossing  the  room  towards 
Miss  Loring. 

"  It  is  the  fiend  Jealousy  !"  said  Hendrickson,  as 
he  withdrew  into  another  room.  "Well — let  it 


THE   LIFE-TBIAL8   OF   JESSIE   LOKING.  123 

poison  all  the  springs  of  his  happiness,  as  he  has 
poisoned  mine !  I  care  not  how  keen  may  be  his 
sufferings." 

He  spoke  with  exceeding  bitterness. 

A  few  weeks  later,  and  the  dreaded  consummation 
came.  In  honor  of  the  splendid  alliance  formed  by 
her  niece,  Mrs.  Loring  gave  a  most  brilliant  wed 
ding  party,  and  the  lovely  bride  stood  forth  in  all 
her  beauty  and  grace — the  admired  and  the  envied. 
A  few  thought  her  rather  pale — some  said  her  eyes 
were  too  dreamy — and  a  gossip  or  two  declared 
that  the  rich  young  husband  had  only  gained  her 
person,  while  her  heart  was  in  the  keeping  of 
another.  "  She  has  not  married  the  man,  but  his 
wealth  and  position !"  was  the  unguarded  remark 
of  one  of  these  thoughtless  individuals ;  and  by  a 
singular  fatality,  the  sentence  reached  the  ears  of 
Mr.  Dexter.  Alas  !  It  was  but  throwing  another 
fagot  on  the  already  kindling  fires  of  unhallowed 
iealousy.  The  countenance  of  the  young  husband 
became  clouded ;  and  it  was  only  by  an  effort  that 
he  could  arouse  himself,  and  assume  a  gay  exterior. 
The  prize,  after  which  he  had  sprung  with  such 
eager  haste,  distancing  all  competitors,  was  now  his 
own.  Binding  vows  had  been  uttered,  and  the 


124:     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAET  ;  OK, 

minister  had  said— "What  God  hath  joined  to 
gether,  let  not  man  put  asunder."  Yet,  even  in  his 
hour  of  triumph,  came  the  troubled  conviction  that, 
though  he  had  gained  the  beautiful  person  of  his 
bride,  he  could  not  say  surely  that  her  more  beau 
tiful  soul  was  all  his  own. 

And  so  there  was  a  death's  head  at  his  feast ;  and 
the  costly  wine  was  dashed  with  bitterness. 

Of  what  was  passing  in  the  mind  of  Dexter  his 
bride  had  no  knowledge  ;  nor  did  her  keen  instincts 
warn  her  that  the  demon  of  jealousy  was  already 
in  his  heart.  Suffering,  and  the  colder  spirit  of  en 
durance  that  followed,  had  rendered  her,  in  a  cer 
tain  sense,  obtuse  in  this  direction. 

A  full-grown,  strong  woman,  had  Jessie  become 
suddenly.  The  gentle,  tenderly -loving,  earnest, 
simple-hearted  girl,  could  never  have  sustained  the 
part  it  was  hers  to  play.  Unless  a  new  and  more 
vigorous  life  had  been  born  in  her,  she  must  have 
fallen.  But  now  she  stood  erect,  shading  her  heart 
from  her  own  eyes,  and  gathering  from  principle 
strength  for  duty.  Yery  pure — very  true  she  was. 
Yet,  in  her  new  relation,  purity  and  truth  were 
ehrined  in  a  cold  exterior.  It  were  not  possible  to 
be  otherwise.  She  did  not  love  her  husband  in  any 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF  JESSIE   LOKING.  125 

thing  like  the  degree  she  was  capable  of  loving. 
It  was  not  in  him  to  find  the  deep  places  of  her 
heart.  But  true  to  him  she  could  be,  and  true  to 
him  it  was  her  purpose  to  remain. 

Taking  all  the ,  antecedents  of  this  case,  we  will 
not  wonder,  when  told  that  quite  from  the  beginning 
of  so  inharmonious  a  union,  Dexter  found  himself 
disappointed  in  his  bride.  He  was  naturally  ar 
dent  and  demonstrative  ;  while,  of  necessity,  she  was 
calm,  cold,  dignified — or  simply  passive.  She  was 
never  unamiable  or  capricious  ;  and  rarely  opposed 
him  in  anything  reasonable  or  unreasonable.  But 
she  was  reserved  almost  to  constraint  at  times — a 
vestal  at  the  altar,  rather  than  a  loving  wife.  He 
was  very  proud  of  her,  as  well  he  might  be; 
for  she  grew  peerless  in  beauty.  But  her  beauty 
was  from  the  development  of  taste,  thought,  and 
intellect.  It  was  not  born  of  the  affections.  Yes, 
Leon  Dexter  was  sadly  disappointed.  He  wanted 
something  more  than  all  this. 

Lifted  from  an  almost  obscure  position,  as  the 
dependent  niece  of  Mrs.  Loring,  the  young  wife  of 
Mr.  Dexter  found  herself  in  a  larger  circle,  and  in 
the  society  of  men  and  women  of  more  generally 
cultivated  tastes.  She  soon  became  a  centre  of  at- 


126     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART;  OK, 

traction ;  for  taste  attracts  taste,  mind  seeks  mind. 
And  where  beauty  is  added,  the  possessor  has  in 
vincible  charms.  It  did  not  escape  the  eyes  of 
Dexter  that,  in  the  society  of  other  men,  his  young 
wife  was  gayer  and  more  vivacious  that  when  with 
him.  This  annoyed  him  so  much,  that  he  began  to 
act  capriciously,  as  it  seemed  to  Jessie.  Sometimes 
he  would  require  her  to  leave  a  pleasant  company 
long  before  the  usual  hour,  and  sometimes  he  would 
refuse  to  go  with  her  to  parties  or  places  of  amuse 
ment,  yet  give  no  reasons  that  were  satisfactory. 
On  these  occasions,  a  moody  spirit  would  come  over 
him.  If  she  questioned,  he  answered  with  evasion, 
or  covert  ill-nature. 

The  closer  union  of  an  external  marriage  did  not 
invest  the  husband  with  any  new  attractions  for  his 
wife.  The  more  intimately  she  knew  him,  the 
deeper  became  her  repugnance.  He  had  no  in 
terior  qualities  in  harmony  with  her  own.  An  in 
tensely  selfish  man,  it  was  impossible  for  him  to 
inspirs  a  feeling  of  love  in  a  mind  so  pure  in  its 
impu  ses,  and  so  acute  in  its  perceptions.  If  Mrs. 
Doxf  r  had  been  a  worldly-minded  woman — a  lover 
of  *  liration — or  one  moved  by  the  small  ambi- 
t;  >f  fashionable  life — her  husband  would  have 


THE   LIFE-TKIALS   OF  JESSIE    LOKING.  127 

been  all  well  enough.  She  would  have  been  ad 
joined  to  him  in  a  way  altogether  satisfactory  to  her 
tastes,  and  they  would  have  circled  their  orbit  of 
life  without  an  eccentric  motion.  But  the  deeper 
capacities  and  higher  needs  of  Mrs.  Dexter,  made 
this  union  quite  another  thing.  Her  husband  had 
no  power  to  fill  her  soul — to  quicken  her  life-pulses 
— to  stir  the  silent  chords  of  her  heart  with  the 
deep,  pure,  ravishing  melodies  they  were  made  to 
give  forth.  That  she  was  superior  to  him  mentally, 
Mr.  Dexter  was  not  long  in  discovering.  Very 
rapidly  did  her  mind,  quickened  by  a  never-dying 
pain,  spring  forward  towards  its  culmination.  Of 
its  rapid  growth  in  power  and  acuteness,  he  only 
had  evidence  when  he  listened  to  her  in  conversa 
tion  with  men  and  women  of  large  acquirements 
and  polished  tastes.  Alone  with  him,  her  mind 
seemed  to  grow  duller  every  day  ;  and  if  he  applied 
the  spur,  it  was  only  to  produce  a  start,  not  a  move 
ment  onwards. 

Alas  for  Leon  Dexter  !  He  had  caged  his  beau 
tiful  bird ;  but  her  song  had  lost,  already,  its  ravish 
ing  sweetness. 


128     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART;  OE, 


CHAPTEE  XII. 

THE  first  year  of  trial  passed.  If  the  young  wife's 
heart-history  for  that  single  year  could  be  written, 
it  would  make  a  volume,  every  page  of  which  the 
reader  would  find  spoted  with  his  tears.  No  pen 
but  that  of  the  sufferer  could  write  that  history ; 
and  to  her,  no  second  life,  even  in  memory,  were 
endurable.  The  record  is  sealed  up — and  the  story 
will  not  be  told. 

It  is  not  within  the  range  of  all  minds  to  compre 
hend  what  was  endured.  Wealth,  position,  beauty, 
admiration,  enlarged  intelligence,  and  highly  cul 
tivated  tastes,  were  hers.  She  was  the  wife  of  a 
man  who  almost  worshipped  her,  and  who  ceased 
not  to  woo  her  with  all  the  arts  he  knew  how  to 
practise.  Impatient  he  became,  at  times,  with  her 
impassiveness,  and  fretted  by  her  coldness.  Jealous 
of  her  he  was  always.  But  he  strove  to  win  that 
love  which,  ere  his  half-coercion  of  her  into  mar 
riage,  he  had  been  warned  he  did  not  possess — but 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOKING.  129 

his  strivings  were  in  vain.  He  was  a  meaner  bird, 
and  could  not  mate  with  the  eagle. 

To  Mrs.  Dexter,  this  life  was  a  breathing  death. 
yet  with  a  wonderful  power  of  endurance  and  self- 
control,  she  moved  along  her  destined  way,  and 
none  of  the  people  she  met  in  society — nor  even  her 
nearest  friends — had  any  suspicion  of  her  real  state 
of  mind.  As  a  wife,  her  sense  of  honor  was  keen, 
From  that  virtuous  poise,  her  mind  had  neither  vari 
ableness  nor  shadow  of  turning.  No  children  came 
with  silken  wrappings  to  hide  and  make  softer,  the 
bonds  that  held  her  to  her  husband  in  a  union  that 
only  death  could  dissolve ;  the  hard,  icy,  galling 
links  of  the  chain  were  ever  visible,  and  their 
trammel  ever  felt.  Cold  and  desolate  the  elegant 
home  remained. 

In  society,  Mrs.  Dexter  continued  to  hold  a  bril 
liant  position.  She  was  courted,  admired,  flattered, 
envied — the  attractive  centre  to  every  circle  of 
which  she  formed  a  part  Rarely  to  good  advan 
tage  did  her  husband  appear,  for  her  mind  had  so 
far  outrun  his  in  strength  and  cultivation,  that  the 
contrast  was  seriously  against  him — and  he  felt  it 
as  another  barrier  between  them. 

One  year,  of  pride  was  enough  for  Mr.  Dexter. 
G* 


130     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT  J  OK, 

A  beautiful,  brilliant,  fashionable  wife  was  rather 
i  questionable  article  to  place  on  exhibition  ;  there 
was, danger,  he  saw,  in  the  experiment.  And  so  he 
ieemed  it  only  the  dictate  of  prudence  to  guard  her 
from  temptation.  An  incident  determined  him. 
They  were  at  Newport,  in  the  mid-season  ;  and  their 
intention  was  to  remain  there  two  weeks.  They 
had  been  to  Saratoga,  where  the  beauty  and  bril 
liancy  of  Mrs.  Dexter  drew  around  her  some  of  the 
most  intelligent  and  attractive  men  there.  All  at 
once  her  husband  suggested  Newport. 

"  I  thought  we  had  fixed  on  next  week,"  said 
Mrs.  Dexter,  in  reply. 

''  I  am  not  well,"  was  the  answer.  "  The  sea  air 
will  do  me  good." 

"  We  wHl  go  to-morrow,  then,"  was  the  unhesi 
tating  response.  Not  made  with  interest  or  feel 
ing  ;  but  promptly,  as  the  dictate  of  wifely  duty. 

Just  half  an  hour  previous  to  this  brief  interview, 
Mr.  Dexter  was  sitting  in  one  of  the  parlors,  and 
near  him  were  two  men,  strangers,  in  conversation. 
The  utterance  by  one  of  them  of  his  wife's  name, 
caused  him  to  be  on  the  instant  all  attention. 

"  She's  charming  !"  was  the  response. 

"  One  of  the  most  fascinating  women  I  have  ever 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF  JESSIE   LOKING.  131 

met !  and  my  observation,  as  you  know,  is  not  lim 
ited.  She  would  produce  a  sensation  in  Paris." 

"  Is  she  a  young  widow  ?" 

"  No — unfortunately." 

"  Who,  or  what  is  her  husband  ?"  was  asked. 

"  A  rich  nobody,  I'm  told." 

"  Ah  !     He  has  taste." 

"Taste  in  beautiful  women,  at  least,"  was  the 
rejoinder. 

"  Is  he  here  ?" 

"  I  believe  so.  He  would  hardly  trust  so  pre 
cious  a  jewel  as  that  out  of  his  sight.  They  say  he 
is  half-maddened  by  jealousy." 

"And  with  reason,  probably.  Weak  men,  with 
brilliant,  fashionable  wives,  have  cause  for  jealousy. 
He's  a  fool  to  bring  her  right  into  the  very  midst 
of  temptation." 

"  Can't  help  himelf,  I  presume.  It  might  not  be 
prudent  to  attempt  the  caging  system." 

A  low,  chuckling  laugh  followed.  How  the 
blood  did  go  rushing  and  seething  through  the  veins 
of  Leon  Dexter ! 

"  1  intend  to  know  more  of  her,"  was  continued. 
"  Where  do  they  live  ?" 

«InB ." 


132     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HKAKT  J  OK, 

"  Ah !  I  shall  be  there  during  the  winter." 

"  She  sees  a  great  deal  of  company,  I  am  told. 
Has  weekly  or  monthly  'evenings 'at  which  some 
of  the  most  intellectual  people  in  the  city  may  be 
found." 

"  Easy  of  access,  I  suppose  ?" 

"  No  doubt  of  it." 

Dexter  heard  no  more.  On  the  next  day  he 
started  with  his  wife  for  Newport.  The  journey 
was  a  silent  one.  They  had  ceased  to  converse 
much  when  alone.  And  now  there  were  reasons 
why  Mr.  Dexter  felt  little  inclination  to  intrude  any 
common-places  upon  his  wife. 

They  were  passing  into  the  hotel,  on  their  arri 
val,  when  Mr.  Dexter,  who  happened  to  be  looking 
at  his  wife,  saw  her  start,  flush,  and  then  turn  pale. 
It  was  the  work  of  an  instant.  His  eyes  followed 
the  direction  of  hers,  but  failed  to  recognize  any 
individual  among  the  group  of  persons  near  them 
as  the  one  who  thus  affected  her  by  his  presence. 
He  left  her  in  one  of  the  parlors,  while  he  made 
arrangements  for  rooms.  In  a  few  minutes  he  re 
turned.  She  was  sitting  as  he  had  left  her,  seeming 
scarcely  to  have  stirred  during  his  absence.  Her 
eyes  were  on  the  floor,  and  when  he  said,  "  Come, 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOEING.  133 

Jessie !"  she  started  and  looked  up  at  him,  in  a 
confused  way. 

"  Our  apartments  are  ready  ;  come." 

He  had  to  speak  a  second  time  before  she  seemed 
to  comprehend  his  meaning.  She  arose  like  one  in 
deep  thought,  and  moved  along  by  her  husband's 
side,  leaving  the  parlor,  and  going  up  to  the  rooms 
which  had  been  assigned  to  them.  The  change  in 
her  countenance  and  manner  was  so  great,  that  her 
husband  could  not  help  remarking  upon  it. 

"Are  you  not  well,  Jessie  ?"  he  asked,  as  she  sat 
down  with  a  weary  air. 

"Not  very  well,"  she  answered — yet  with  a  cer 
tain  evasion  of  tone  that  repelled  inquiry. 

Mr.  Dexter  scanned  her  countenance  sharply. 
She  lifted  her  eyes  at  the  moment  to  his  face,  and 
started  slightly  at  the  unusual  meaning  she  saw 
therein.  A  flush  betrayed  her  disturbed  condition  ; 
and  a  succeeding  pallor  gave  signs  of  unusual 
pain. 

"  Will  you  see  a  physician !" 

"  No — no !  she  answered,  quickly ;  "  it  was  a 
momentary  sickness — but  is  passing  off  now."  She 
arose  as  she  said  this,  and  commenced  laying  aside 
her  travelling  garments.  Mr.  Dexter  sat  down,  and 


134:    THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  ;  OB, 

taking  a  newspaper  from  his  pocket,  pretended  to 
read  ;  but  his  jealous  eyes  looked  over  the  sheet, 
and  rested  with  keen  scrutiny  on  the  face  of  his 
wife  whenever  it  happened  to  be  turned  towards 
him.  That  she  scarcely  thought  of  his  presence, 
was  plain  from  the  fact  that  she  did  not  once  look 
at  him.  Suddenly,  as  if  some  new  thought  had 
crossed  his  mind,  Mr.  Dexter  arose,  and  after  mak 
ing  some  slight  changes  in  his  dress,  left  the  apart 
ment  and  went  down  stairs.  He  was  evidently  in 
search  of  some  one ;  for  he  passed  slowly,  and  with 
wary  eyes,  along  the  passages,  porticos  and  par 
lors.  The  result  was  not  satisfactory.  He  met 
several  acquaintances,  and  lingered  with  each  in 
conversation  ;  but  the  watchful  searching  eyes  were 
never  a  moment  at  rest. 

The  instant  Mr.  Dexter  left  the  room,  there  was  a 
change  in  his  wife.  The  half  indifferent,  almost 
listless  manner  gave  place  to  one  that  expressed 
deep  struggling  emotions.  Her  bent  form  became 
erect,  and  she  stood  for  a  little  while  listening  with 
her  eyes  upon  the  door,  as  if  in  doubt  whether  her 
husband  would  not  return.  After  the  lapse  of  two 
or  three  minutes,  she  walked  to  the  door,  and 
placing  her  fingers  on  the  key,  turned  it,  locking 


THE   LIFK-TKIAL8   OF  JESSIE   LORHSTG.  135 

herself  in.  This  done,  she  retired  slowly  towards  a 
lounge  by  the  window,  nearly  every  trace  of  excite 
ment  gone,  and  sitting  down,  was  soon  so  entirely 
absorbed  in  thought  ^s  scarcely  to  show  a  sign  of 
external  life. 

It  was  half  an  hour  from  the  time  Mr.  Dexter 
left  his  wife,  when  he  returned.  His  hand  upon 
the  lock  aroused  her  from  the  waking  dream  into 
which  she  had  fallen.  As  she  arose,  her  manner 
began  to  change,  and,  ere  she  had  reached  the 
door,  the  quicker  flowing  blood  was  restoring  the 
color  to  her  cheeks.  She  had  passed  through  a 
long  and  severe  struggle  ;  and  woman's  vir 
tue,  aided  by  woman's  pride  and  will,  had  con 
quered. 

Mrs.  Dexter  spoke  to  her  husband  cheerfully  as 
he  came  in,  and  met  his  steady,  searching  look 
without  a  sign  of  confusion.  He  was  at  fault. 
Yet  not  deceived. 

"  Are  you  better  ?"  he  asked. 

"  Much  better,"  she  replied ;  arid  turning  from 
him,  went  on  with  the  arrangement  of  her  toilet, 
which  had  been  suspended  from  the  period  of  her 
husband's  absence,  until  his  return.  Mr.  Dexter 
passed  into  their  private  parlor,  adjoining  the  bed- 


136     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  J  OK, 

room,  and  remained  there  until  his  wife  had  fin 
ished  dressing." 

"  Shall  we  go  down  ?"  he  inquired,  as  she  came 
in  looking  so  beautiful  in  hjs  eyes  that  the  very 
sight  of  her  surpassing  loveliness  gave  him  pain. 
The  Fiend  was  in  his  heart. 

"  Not  now,"  she  replied ;  "  I  am  still  fatigued 
with  the  day's  travel,  and  had  rather  not  see  com 
pany  at  present." 

She  glanced  from  the  window. 

"  What  a  sublimity  there  is  in  the  ocean!"  she 
said,  with  an  unusual  degree  of  interest  in  her 
manner,  when  speaking  to  her  husband.  "  I  can 
never  become  so  familiar  with  its  grandeur  and 
vastness,  as  to  look  upon  its  face  without  emotion. 
You  remember  Byron's  magnificent  apostrophe  ? — 

"  '  Roll  oil,  thou  deep  and  dark  blue  ocean,  roll.'  " 

And  she  repeated  several  of  the  stanzas  from 
"  Ohilde  Harold,"  with  an  effect  that  stirred  her 
husband's  feelings  more  profoundly  than  they  had 
ever  been  stirred  by  nature  and  poetry  before. 

"  I  have  read  and  heard  that  splendid  passage 
many  times,  but  never  with  the  meaning  and 
power  which  your  voice  hab  lent  to  the  poet's 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF  JESSIE   LOKING.  137 

words,"  said  Dexter,  gazing  with  admiration  upon 
his  wife. 

He  sat  down  beside  her,  and  took  her  hand  in 
his.  Her  eyes  wandered  to  his  face,  and  lingered 
there  as  if  she  were  searching  the  lineaments  for 
a  sign  of  something  that  her  heart  could  take  hold 
upon  and  cling  to.  And  it  was  even  so  ;  for  she 
felt  that  she  needed  strength  and  protection  in  an 
hour  of  surely  coming  trial.  A  feeble  sigh  and  a 
drooping  of  the  eyelids  attested  her  disappoint 
ment.  .  And  yet  as  he  leaned  towards  her  she  did 
not  sit  more  erect,  but  rather  suffered  her  body  to 
incline  to  him.  He  still  retained  her  hand,  and 
she  permitted  him  to  toy  with  it,  even  slightly  re 
turning  the  pressure  he  gave. 

"You  shall  be  my  teacher  in  the  love  of  nature." 
He  spoke  with  a  glow  of  true  feeling.  "  The  lesson 
of  this  evening  I  shall  never  forget.  Old  ocean 
will  always  wear  a  different  aspect  in  my  eyes." 
•  "  Nature,"  replied  Mrs.  Dexter,  "  is  not  a  mere 
dead  symbol. — It  is  something  more — an  outbirth 
from  loving  principles — the  body  of  a  creating 
soul.  The  sea,  upon  whose  restless  surface  we  are 
gazing,  is  something  more  than  a  briny  fluid,  bear 
ing  ships  -upon  its  bosom — something  more  than  a 


138     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART J  OR, 

mirror  for  the  arching  heavens — something  more 
than  a  symbol  of  immensity  and  eternity.  There 
is  a  truth  in  nature  far  deeper,  more  divine,  and  of 
higher  significance." 

She  paused,  and  for  some  moments  her  thoughts 
seemed  floating  away  into  a  world,  the  real  things 
of  which  our  coarser  forms  but  feebly  represent. 

"  It  must  be  so.  I  feel  that  it  is  so  ;  yet  what  to 
you  seems  clear  as  the  sunbeams,  hides  itself  from 
me  in  dusky  shadows.  But  say  on  Jessie.  Your 
words  are  pleasant  to  my  ears." 

Mrs.  Dexter  seemed  a  little  surprised  at  this 
language,  for  she  turned  her  eyes  from  the  sea  to 
his  face,  and  looked  at  him  with  a  questioning  gaze 
for  some  moments. 

"  This  world  is  not  the  real  world,"  she  said, 
speaking  earnestly  and  gazing  at  him  intently  to 
see  how  far  his  thought  reflected  hers. 

"Is  not  this  real?"  Dexter  asked,  raising  the 
hand  of  his  wife  and  looking  down  upon  it.  I  call 
'it  a  real  hand." 

"  And '  I,"  said  Mrs.  Dexter,  smiling,  "  call  it 
only  the  appearance  of  a  hand  ;  it  is  the  real  hand 
that  vitalizes  and  gives  it  power.  This  will  decay 
—this  appearance  fade— but  the  real  hand  of  my 


THE   LIFE-TEIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOKING.  139 

spirit  will  live  on,  immortal  in  its  power  as  the 
human  soul  of  which  it  makes  a  part." 

"  Into  what  strange  labyrinths  your  mind  is 
wandering  Jessie  !"  said  Mr.  Dexter,  a  slight  shade 
of  disapproval  in  his  voice.  "I  am  afraid  you 
are  losing  yourself." 

"  Kather  say  that  I  have  been  lost,  and  am  find 
ing  myself  in  open  paths,  with  the  blue  sky  instead 
of  forest  foliage  above  me." 

"  Your  language  is  a  myth,  Jessie.  I  never 
heard  of  your  being  lost.  To  me  you  have  been 
ever  present,  walking  in  the  sunlight,  a  divine 
reality.  Not  the  mere  appearance  of  a  woman ; 
but  a  Teal  woman,  and  my  wife.  Pray  do  not  lose 
yourself  now  !  Do  not  recede  from  an  actual  flesh 
and  blood  existence  into  some  world  of  dim 
philosophy  whither  I  cannot  go.  I  am  not  ready 
for  your  translation." 

Mr.  Dexter  was  half  playful,  half  serious.  His 
reply  disappointed  his  wife.  Her  manner,  warmer 
than  usual,  took  on  a  portion  of  its  old  reserve. 
But  she  went  on  speaking. 

"  The  immortal  soul,  spiritual  in  its  essence,  yet 
organized  in  all  its  minutest  parts — cannot  attain 
its  full  stature  unless  it  receives  immortal  food. 


140    THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  |  OR, 

The  aliments  of  mere  sensual  life  are  for  the  body, 
and  the  mind's  lowest  constituents  of  being ;  and 
they  ,who  are  content  to  feed  on  husks  must  sort 
with  the  common  herd.  I  have  higher  aspirations, 
my  husband !  I  see  within  and  above  the  animal 
and  sensuous  a  real  world  of  truth  and  goodness, 
where,  and  where  only,  the  soul's  immortal  desires 
can  be  satisfied.  With  the  key  in  my  hand  shall 
I  not  enter  ?  The  common  air  is  too  thick  for  me. 
I  must  perish  or  rise  into  purer  atmospheres.". 

Mrs.  Dexter  paused,  conscious  that  her  husband 
did  not  appreciate  her  meanings.  He  was  listening 
intently,  and  striving  apparently  after  them ;  but 
to  him  only  the  things  of  sense  were  real ;  and  he 
was  not  able  to  comprehend  how  lasting  pleasure 
was  to  flow  from  the  intellectual  and  spiritual.  He 
did  not  answer,  and  she  lapsed  into  silence ;  all  the 
fine  enthusiasm  that  had  filled  her  countenance  so 
full  of  a  living  beauty  giving  place  to  a  cold,  calm 
exterior.  She  had  hoped  to  quicken  her  husband's 
sluggish  perceptions,  and  to  create  in  his  mind  an 
incipient  love  for  the  pure  and  beautiful  things 
after  which  her  own  mind  was  beginning  to  aspire. 

In  her  intercourse  with  refined  and  intellectual 
persons,  Mrs.  Dexter  had  made  the  acquaintance 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF  JESSIE   LOKING.  141 

of  a  lady  named  Mrs.  De  Lisle.  Her  residence 
was  not  far  from  Mrs.  Dexter's  and  they  met  often 
for  pleasant  and  profitable  conversation.  In  Mrs. 
De  Lisle,  Mrs.  Dexter  found  a  woman  of  not  only 
superior  attainments,  but  one  possessing  great  pur 
ity  of  mind,  and  a  high  religions  sense  of  duty. 
What  struck  her  in  the  very  beginning  was  a  new 
mode  of  weighing  human  actions,  and  a  quiet  look 
ing  beneath  the  surface  of  things,  and  estimating 
all  she  saw  by  the  quality  within  instead  of  by  the 
appearance  without.  From  the  first,  Mrs.  Dexter 
was  strongly  attracted  by  this  lady ;  and  it  was  a 
little  remarkable  that  her  husband  was  as  strongly 
repelled.  He  did  not  like  her  ;  and  often  spoke  of 
her  sneeringly  as  using  an  unknown  tongue.  His 
wife  contended  with  him  slightly  at  first  in  regard 
to  Mrs.  De  Lisle  ;  but  soon  ceased  to  notice  his  cap 
tious  remarks. 

In  Mrs.  De  Lisle,  the  struggling  and  suffering 
young  creature  had  found  a  true  friend — not  true 
in  the  sense  of  a  weakly,  sympathizing  friend,  but 
more  really  true  ;  one  who  could  lift  her  soul  up 
into  purer  regions,  and  help  it  to  acquire  strength 
for  duty. 

There  was  another  lady  named   Mrs.  Anthony 


142     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT  ;  OK, 

who  had  insinuated  herself  into  the  good  opinion  of 
Mrs.  Dexter,  and  partially,  also,  into  her  confi 
dence. 

It  does  not  take  a  quick-sighted  woman  long  to 
comprehend  the  true  marital  standing  of  the  friend 
in  whom  she  feels  an  interest.  Both  Mrs.  De 
Lisle  and  Mrs.  Anthony  soon  discovered  that  no 
love  was  in  the  heart  of  Mrs.  Dexter,  and  that  con 
sequently,  no  interior  marriage  existed.  They  saw 
also  that  Mr.  Dexter  was  inferior,  selfish,  captious  at 
times,  and  kept  his  wife  always  under  surveillance, 
as  if  afraid  of  her  constancy.  The  different  conduct  of 
the  ladies,  touching  this  relation  of  Mrs.  Dexter  to 
her  husband,  was  in  marked  contrast.  While  Mrs. 
De  Lisle  never*  approached  the  subject  in  a 
way  to  invite  communication,  Mrs.  Anthony,  in 
the  most  adroit  and  insinuating  manner,  almost 
compelled  a  certain  degree  of  confidence — or  at 
least  admission  that  there  was  not  and  never  could 
be,  any  interior  conjunction  between  herself  and 
husband. 

Mrs.  Anthony  was  a  highly  intellectual  and  cul 
tivated  woman,  with  fascinating  manners,  a  strong 
will,  and  singularly  fine  conversational  powers. 
She  usually  exercised  a  controlling  influence  over 


THE   LIFE-TEIAL8   OF  JESSIE   LOKING.  143 

all  with  whom  she  associated.  Happy  it  was  for 
Mrs.  Dexter  that  a  friend  like  Mrs.  De  Lisle  came 
to  her  in  the  right  time,  and  filled  her  mind  with 
right  principles  for  her  own  pure  instincts  to  rest 
upon  as  an  immovable  foundation. 

An  hour  spent  in  company  with  Mrs.  Anthony 
always  left  Mrs.  Dexter  in  a  state  of  disquietude, 
and  suffering  from  a  sense  of  restriction  and  wrong. 
A  feeling  of  alienation  from  her-  husband  ever  ac 
companied  this  state,  and  her  spirit  beat  itself 
about,  striking  against  the  bars  of  conventional 
usage,  until  the  bruised  wings  quivered  with  pain. 
But  an  hour  spent  with  Mrs.  De  Lisle  left  her  in  a 
very  different  state.  True  thoughts  were  stirred, 
and  the  soul  lifted  upwards  into  regions  of  light 
and  beauty.  There  was  no  grovelling  about  the 
earth,  no  fanning  of  selfish  fires  into  smoky  flames, 
no  probing  of  half-closed  wounds  until  the  soul 
writhed  in  a  new-born  anguish — but  instead,  hope 
ful  words,  lessons  of  duty,  and  the  introduction  of 
an  ennobling  spiritual  philosophy,  that  gave 
strength  and  tranquillity  for  the  present,  and  pro 
mised  the  soul's  highest  fruition  in  the  surely  com 
ing  future. 

Both  Mrs.  De  Lisle  and  Mrs.  Anthony  were  at 


144     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT  J  OB, 

Saratoga.  The  announcement  of  Mrs.  Dexter  that 
she  was  going  to  leave  for  Newport  so  suddenly 
surprised  them  both,  as  it  had  been  understood  that 
she  was  to  remain  for  some  time  longer. 

"  My  husband  wishes  to  visit  Newport  now," 
was  the  answer  of  Mrs.  Dexter  to  the  surprised  ex 
clamation  of  Mrs.  Anthony. 

"  Tell  him  that  you  wish  to  remain  here,"  replied 
Mrs.  Anthony. 

"  He  is  not  well,  and  thinks  the  sea  air  will  do 
him  good." 

"  Not  well !  I  met  him  an  hour  ago,  and  never 
saw  him  looking  better  in  my  life.  Do  you  believe 
him  ?" 

"  Why  not  ?"  asked  Mrs.  Dexter. 

Her  friend  laughed  lightly,  and  then  murmur- 
ed- 

"  Simpleton  !  He's  only  jealous,  and  wants  to 
get  you  away  from  your  admirers.  Don't  go." 

Mrs.  Dexter  laughed  with  affected  indifference, 
but  her  color  rose. 

"  You  wrong  him,"  she  said. 

"  Not  I,"  was  answered.  "The  signs  are  too  ap 
parent.  I  am  a  close  observer,  my  dear  Mrs.  Dex 
ter,  and  know  the  meaning  of  most  things  that 


THE    LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOEING.  145 

happen  to  fall  within  the  range  of  my  observation. 
Your  husband  is  jealous.  The  next  move  will  be 
to  shut  you  up  in  your  chamber,  and  set  a  guard 
before  the  house.  Now  if  you  will  take  my  ad 
vice,  you'll  say  to  this  unreasonable  lord  and  mas 
ter  of  yours,  '  Please  to  wait,  sir,  until  I  am  ready 
to  leave  Saratoga.  It  doesn't  suit  me  to  do  so  just 
now.  If  you  need  the  sea,  run  away  to  New 
port  and  get  a  dash  of  old  ocean.  I  require  Con 
gress  water  a  little  longer.'  That's  the  way  to 
talk,  my  little  lady.  But  don't  for  Heaven's  sake 
begin  to  humor  his  capricious  fancies.  If  you  do, 
it's  all  over." 

Mrs.  De  Lisle  was  present,  but  made  no  remark. 
Mrs.  Dexter  parried  her  friend's  admonition  with 
playful  words. 

"  "Will  you  come  to  my  room  when  disengaged  ?" 
said  the  former,  as  she  rose  to  leave  the  parlor 
where  they  had  been  sitting. 

"  I  will." 

• 

Mrs.  De  Lisle  withdrew. 

"  You'll  get  a  sermon  on  obedience  to  husbands," 
said  Mrs.  Anthony,  tossing  her  head  and  smiling  a 
pretty,  half  sarcastic  smile.  "  I've  one  great  objec 
tion  to  our  friend." 

7 


14:6     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  J  OE, 

"  What  is  it  ?"  inquired  Mrs.  Dexter. 

"  She's  too  proper." 

"  She's  good,"  said  Mrs.  Dexter. 

"  I'll  grant  that ;  but  then  she's  too  good  for  me. 
I  like  a  little  wickedness  sometimes.  It's  spicy, 
and  gives  a  flavor  to  character." 

Mrs.  Anthony  laughed  one  of  her  musical  laughs. 
But  growing  serious  in  a  moment,  she  said —  ,V; 

"  Now,  don't  let  her  persuade  you  to  humor  that 
capricious  husband  of  yours.  You  are  something 
more  than  an  appendage  to  the  man.  God  gave 
you  mind  and  heart,  and  created  you  an  indepen 
dent  being.  And  a  man  is  nothing  superior  to  this, 
that  he  should  attempt  to  lord  it  over  his  equal.  I 
have  many  times  watched  this  most  cruel  and  exact 
ing  of  all  tyrannies,  and  have  yet  to  see  the  case 
where  the  yielding  wife  could  ever  yield  enough. 
Take  counsel  in  time,  my  friend.  Successful  resist 
ance  now,  will  cost  but  a  trifling  effort." 

Mrs.  Dexter  neither  accepted  nor  repelled  the 
advice ;  but  her  countenance  showed  that  the  re 
marks  of  Mrs.  Anthony  gave  no  very  pleasant  hue 
to  her  thoughts. 

"  Excuse  me,"  she  said  rising,  "  I  must  see  Mrs. 
De  Lisle. 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOEING.  147 

Mrs.  Anthony  raised  her  finger,  and  gave  Mrs. 
Dexter  a  warning  look,  as  she  uttered  the  words — 
"Don't  forget." 

"  I  won't,"  was  answered. 
v 

Mrs.  De  Lisle  received  her  with  a  serious  coun 
tenance. 

"  You  go  to  Newport  in  the  morning  2"  she  spoke, 
half-questioning  and  half  in  doubt. 

"Yes." 

The  countenance  of  Mrs.  De  Lisle  brightened. 

"  I  thought,"  she  said,  after  a  pause,  "  that  I 
knew  you."  % 

She  stopped,  as  if  in  doubt  whether  to  go  on. 

Mrs.  Dexter  looked  into  her  face  a  moment. 

"  You  understand  me  ?"  Mrs.  De  Lisle  added. 

"  I  do." 

Mrs.  Dexter  betrayed  unusual  emotion. 

"  Forgive  me,"  said  her  friend,  "  if  I  have  ven 
tured  on  too  sacred  ground.  You  know  how  deeply 
I  am  interested  in  you." 

Tears  filled  the  eyes  of  Mrs.  Dexter ;  her  lips 
quivered ;  every  muscle  of  her  face  betrayed  an  in 
ward  struggle. 

"  Dear  friend  1"  Mrs.  De  Lisle  reached  out  her 
hands,  and  Mrs.  Dexter  leaned  forward  against  her, 


148     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  J  OK, 

hiding  her  face  upon  her  breast.  And  now  strong 
spasms  thrilled  her  frame;  and  in  weakness  she 
wept — wept  a  long,  long  time.  Nature  had  her 
way.  But  emotion  spent  itself,  and  a  deep  calm 
followed. 

"  Dear,  patient,  much-enduring,  true-hearted 
friend!" 

Mrs.  De  Lisle  spoke  almost  in  a  whisper,  her 
lips  close  to  the  ear  of  Mrs.  Dexter.  The  words,  or 
at  least  some  of  them,  had  the  effect  to  rouse  the 
latter  from  her  half  lethargic  condition.  Lifting 
her  face  from  the  bosom  of  her  friend,  she  looked 
up  and  said — 

"  Patient  ?     Much  enduring  ?" 

"Is  it  not  so?  God  give  you  wisdom,  hope, 
triumph !  I  have  looked  into  your  heart  many 
times,  Mrs.  Dexter.  Not  curiously,  not  as  a  study, 
not  to  see  how  well  you  could  hide  from  common 
eyes  its  hidden  anguish,  but  in  deep  and  loving 
compassion,  and  with  a  strong  desire  to  help  and 
counsel.  Will  you  admit  me  to  a  more  sacred 
friendship  ?" 

"  Oh^  yes  !  Gladly  I  Thankfully  !"  replied  Mrs. 
Dexter.  "  How  many,  many  times  have  I  desired 
to  open  my  heart  to  you ;  but  dared  not.  Now,  if 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OP   JESSIE   LORING.  149 

you  have  its  secret,  gained  by  no  purposed  act  of 
mine,  I  will  accept  the  aid  and  counsel." 

"  You  do  not  love,"  said  Mrs.  De  Lisle — not  in 
strong,  emphatic  utterance — not  even  calmly— but 
in  a  low,  almost  reluctant  voice. 

"  I  am  capable  of  the  deepest  love,"  was  an 
swered. 

"  I  know  it." 

"What  then?"  Mrs.  Dexter  spoke  with  some 
eagerness. 

"  You  are  a  wife." 

"  I  am,"  with  coldness. 

"  By  your  own  consent  ?" 

"  It  was  extorted.  But  no  matter.  I  accepted 
my  present  relation ;  and  I  mean  to  abide  the  con 
tract.  Oh,  my  friend !  you  know  not  the  pain  1 
feel  in  thus  speaking,  even  to  you.  This  is  a  sub 
ject  over  which  I  drew  the  veil  of  what  I  thought 
to  be  eternal  silence.  You  have  pushed  it  aside — 
not  roughly,  not  with  idle  curiosity,  but  as  a  loving 
friend  and  counsellor.  And  now  if  you  can  •im 
part  strength  or  comfort,  do  so ;  for  both  are 
needed." 

"  The  language  of  Mrs.  Anthony  pained  me," 
said  Mrs.  De  Lisle. 


150     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  ;  OK, 

"  Not  more  than  it  pained  me,"  was  the  simple 
answer. 

"  And  yet,  Mrs.  Dexter,  though  I  observed  you 
closely,  I  did  not  see  the  indignant  flush  on  your 
face,  that  I  had  hoped  to  see  mantling  there." 

"  It  was  a  simple  schooling  of  the  exterior.  I 
felt  that  she  was  venturing  on  improper  ground ; 
but  I  did  not  care  to  let  my  real  sentiments  appear. 
Mrs.  Anthony  lacks  delicacy  in  some  things." 

"  Her  remarks  I  regarded  as  an  outrage.  But 
seriously,  Mrs.  Dexter,  is  your  husband  so  much 
inclined  to  jealousy  ?" 

"  I  am  afraid  so." 

"  Do  you  think  his  purpose  to  leave  Saratoga  in 
the  morning,  springs  from  this  cause  ?" 

"  I  am  not  aware  of  any  circumstance  that  should 
give  rise  to  sudden  apprehension  in  his  mind. 
There  is  no  one  that  I  have  remarked  as  offering 
me  particular  attentions.  I  am  here,  and  cannot 
help  the  fact  that  gentlemen  of  superior  taste,  edu 
cation,  and  high  .mental  accomplishments,  seem 
pleased  with  my  society.  I  like  to  meet  such  per 
sons — I  enjoy  the  intercourse  of  mind  with  mind. 
It  is  the  only  compensating  life  I  have.  In  it  I  for 
get  for  a  little  while  my  heart's  desolation.  In  all 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE    LOHING.  151 

that.it  is  possible  for  me  to  be  true  to  my  husband, 
I  am  true ;  and  I  pray  always  that  God  will  give 
me  strength  to  endure  even  unto  the  end.  His 
fears  wrong  me !  There  is  not  one  of  the  scores  of 
attractive  men  who  crowd  around  me  in  public,  who 
has  the  power,  by  look,  or  word,  or  action,  to  stir 
my  heart  with  even  the  lightest  throb  of  tender 
feeling.  I  have  locked  the  door,  and  the  key  is 
hidden." 

Mrs.  De  Lisle  did  not  answer,  for  some  time. 

"Your  high  sense  of  honor,  pure  heart,  and 
womanly  perceptions,  are  guiding  you  right,  I  see !" 
she  then  remarked ;  "  the  ordeal  is  terrible,  but 
you  will  pass  through  unscathed." 

"  I  trust  so  !"  was  murmured  in  a  sad  voice ;  u  I 
trust  to  keep  my  garments  unspotted.  Without 
blame,  or  suspicion  of  wrong,  1  cannot  hope  to  move 
onward  in  my  difficult  way.  JSTor  can  I  always 
hope  to  be  patient  under  captious  treatment,  and 
intimations  of  unfaithfulness.  The  last  will  doubt 
less  come  ;  for  when  the  fiend  jealousy  has  enthron 
ed  itself  in  a  man's  heart,  the  most  common-place 
actions  may  be  construed  into  guilty  concessions. 
All  this  will  be  deeply  humiliating ;  and  I  know 
myself  well  enough  to  apprehend  occasional  indig- 


152     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  ;  OB, 

nant  reactions,  or  cool  defiances.  I  possess  a  high, 
proud  spirit,  which,  if  fairly  aroused,  is  certain  to 
lead  me  into  stubborn  resistance.  So  far  I  have 
managed  to  hold  this  spirit  in  abeyance  ;  but  if 
matters  progress  as  they  have  begun,  the  climax  of 
endurance  will  ere  long  be  reached." 

"  Great  circumspection  on  your  part  will  be 
needed,"  said  Mrs.  De  Lisle.  "Remember  always, 
your  obligations  as  a  wife.  In  consenting  to  enter 
into  the  most  solemn  human  compact  that  is  ever 
made,  you  assumed  a  position  that  gave  you  power 
over  the  happiness  of  another.  If,  as  I  gather  from 
some  things  you  have  said,  you  went  to  the  altar 
under  constraint,  an  unloving  bride,  so  much  the 
more  binding  on  you  are  the  promises  then  made 
to  seek  your  husband's  happiness — even  at  the 
sacrifice  of  your  own.  In  that  act  you  wronged 
him — wronged  him  as  no  woman  has  a  right  to 
wrong  any  man,  and  you  can  never  do  enough  by 
way  of  reparation." 

"/was  wronged,"  said  Mrs.  Dexter,-her  glance 
brightening,  and  a  warmth,  like  indignation,  in  her 
voice ;  "  for  I  was  dragged  to  that  marriage-altar 
against  my  will,  and  almost  under  protest.  Mr. 
Dexter  knew  that  my  heart  was  not  his." 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF  JESSIE   LOKLNG.  153 

"  You  were  a  free  woman  !"  replied  Mrs.  De 
Lisle. 

"  I  was  not  free,"  Mrs.  Dexter  answered. 

"  Not  free  ?  Who  or  what  constrained  you"  to 
such  an  act?" 

"My  honor.  In  a  moment  of  weakness,  and 
under  the  fascination  of  a  strong  masculine' will,.  I 
plighted  faith  with  Mr.  Dexter.  He  knew  at  the 
time  that  I  did  not  love  him  as  a  woman  should 
love  the  man  she  consents  to  marry.  He  knew 
that  he  was  extorting  an  unwilling  consent.  And 
just  so  far  he  took  an  unmanly  advantage  of  a 
weak  young  girl.  But  the  contract  once  made, 
truth  and  honor  required  its  fulfillment.  At 
least,  so  said  my  aunt,  to  whom  alone  I  confided 
my  secret ;  and  so  said  my  stern  convictions  of 
duty." 

"  So  far  from  that,"  replied  Mrs.  De  Lisle,  "  truth 
and  honor  required  its  non-fulfillment ;  for  neither 
m  truth  nor  in  honor,  could  you  take  the  marriage 
vows." 

The  directness  with  which  Mrs.  De  Lisle  stated 
this  position  of  the  case,  startled  her  auditor. 

"  Is  it  not  so  ?"  was  calmly  asked.  "  You  are 
too  much  in  the  habit  of  looking  below  the  surface 
1* 


154:     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART;  OK, 

of  things,  to  regard  the  formula  of  marriage  as  an 
unmeaning  array  of  words.  In  their  full  significa 
tion,  you  could  not  utter  the  sentences  you  were 
required  to  speak — how  then,  as  regarding  truth 
and  honor,  could  you  pronounce  them  in  that  act 
of  your  life  which,  of  all  others,  should  have  been 
most  without  guile  ?  I  would  have  torn  all  such 
extorted  promises  into  a  thousand  tatters,  and  scat 
tered  them  to  the  winds !  The  dishonor  of  break 
ing  them  were  nothing  to  the  wrong  of  fulfillment. 
Witness  your  unhappy  lives  !" 

"  Would  to  heaven  you  had  been  the  friend  of 
my  girlhood !" 

It  was  all  the  reply  Mrs.  Dexter  made,  as  she 
bowed  her  head,  like  one  pressed  down  by  a  heavy 
burden. 

"  You  will  now  comprehend,  more  clearly  than 
before,"  said  Mrs.  De  Lisle,  "  your  present  duty  to 
your  husband.  He  thought  that  he  was  gaining  a 
wife,  and  you,  in  wedding  him  promised  to  him  to 
be  a  wife — promised  with  a  deep  conviction  in  your 
soul  that  the  words  were  empty  utterances.  The 
case  is  a  sad  one,  viewed  in  any  aspect ;  but  pardon 
me  for  saying,  that  you  were  most  to  blame.  He 
was  an  ardent  lover,  whom  you  had  fascinated ;  a 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOEING.  155 

man  of  superficial  character,  and  not  competent,  at 
the  time,-  to  weigh  the  consequences  of  an  act  he  was 
so  eager  to  precipitate.  To  possess,  he  imagined 
was  to  enjoy.  But  you  were  better  versed  in  the 
heart's  lore,  and  knew  he  would  wake  up,  ere  many 
moons  had  passed,  to  the  sad  discovery  that  what 
he  had  wooed  as  substance  was  only  a  cheating 
shadow.  And  he  is  waking  up.  Every  day  he  is 
becoming  more  and  more  clearly  convinced  that 
you  do  not  love  him,  and  can  never  be  to  him  the 
wife  he  had  fondly  hoped  to  gain.  Have  you  not 
laid  upon  yourself  a  binding  obligation  ?  Is  it  a 
light  thing  so  to  mar  the  whole  life  of  man  ?  Your 
duty  is  plain,  Mrs.  Dexter..  Yield  all  to  him  you 
can,  and  put  on  towards  him  always  the  sunniest 
aspects  and  gentlest  semblances  of  your  character. 
If  he  is  capricious,  humor  him ;  if  suspicious,  act 
with  all  promptness  in  removing  suspicion  to  the 
extent  of  your  power.  Make  soft  the  links  of  the 
chain  that  binds  you  together,  with  downy  cover 
ings.  Truth,  honor,  duty,  religion,  all  require 
this." 

"  Dear  friend  !"  said  Mrs.  Dexter,  grasping  the 
hand  of  Mrs.  De  Lisle,  "  you  have  lifted  me  out 
of  a  thick  atmosphere,  through  which  my  eyes  saw 


156     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART;  OR, 

everything  in  an  uncertain  light,  up  into  a  clear 
seeing  region.  Yes,  truth,  honor,  duty,  religion,  all 
speak  to  my  convictions ;  and  with  all  the  truth 
that  in  me  lieth,  will  I  obey  their  voice.  But  love 
is  impossible,  and  its  semblance  in  me  is  so  faint 
that  my  husband  cannot  see  the  likeness.  There 
lies  the  difficulty.  He  wants  a  fond,  tender,  loving 
wife — a  pet  and  a  plaything.  These  he  can  never 
find  in  me  ;  for,  Heaven  help  me  !  Mrs.  De  Lisle, 
his  sphere  grows  more  and  more  repulsive  every 
day,  and  I  shudder  sometimes  at  the  thought  of 
unmitigated  disgust!" 

"  Do  your  best,  my  friend,"  was  the  answer  of 
of  Mrs.  De  Lisle.  "  Fill,  to  the  utmost  of  your 
ability,  all  your  wifely  relations,  and  seek  to 
develop  in  your  husband  those  higher  qualities  of 
thought  and  feeling  to  which  your  spirit  can  attach 
itself.  And  above  all,  do  not  listen  to  such  erro 
neous  counsels  as  Mrs.  Anthony  gave  just  now.  If 
followed  they  will  surely  produce  a  harvest  of  mis 
ery." 

"  Thanks,  good  counsellor  !  I  will'  heed  your 
words.  They  come  in  the  right  time,  and  strengthen 
my  better  purposes,"  said  Mrs.  Dexter.  "  To-mor 
row  I  shall  leave  with  my  husband  for  Newport, 


THE   LIFE-TBIALS   OF  JESSIE   LOKING.  157 

and  he  shall  see  in  me  no  signs  of  reluctance.  Nor 
do  I  care,  except  to  leave  your  company.    I  will 
find  as  much  to  keep  my  thoughts  busy  at  New 
port  as  here." 


158     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART;  OR, 


CHAPTER  XIII. 

THE  effort  to  interest  her  husband  in  things 
purely  intellectual  failed,  and  a  shade  of  disap 
pointment  settled  on  the  feelings  of  Mrs.  Dexter. 
She  soared,  altogether,  too  far  up  into  the  mental 
atmosphere  for  him.  He  thought  her  ideal  and 
transcendental ;  and  she  felt  that  only  the  sensual 
principles  in  his  mind  were  living  and  active.  Con 
versation  died  between  them,  and  both  relapsed 
into  that  abstracted  silence — musing  on  one  side 
and  moody  on  the  other — which  filled  so  large  a 
portion  of  their  time  when  together. 

"  Shall  we  go  down  to  the  parlors  ?"  said  Mr.  Dex 
ter,  rousing  himself.  "The  afternoon  is  running 
away  fast  towards  evening. 

"  I  am  more  fatigued  than  usual,"  was  answered, 
"  and  do  not  care  to  make  my  appearance  before 
tea-time.  You  go  down  ;  and  I  will  occupy  my 
self  with  a  book.  "When  the  tea-bell  rings,  I  will 
wait  for  you  to  come  and  escort  me  to  the  table." 


THE   LIFE-TKIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOKING.  159 

Mr.  Dexter  did  not  urge  his  wife  to  leave  their 
rooms,  but  went  down  as  she  had  suggested.  The 
moment  he  left  her,  there  occurred  a  great  change 
in  her  whole  appearance.  She  was  sitting -on  a 
lounge  by  the  window.  Instead  of  rising  to  get  a 
book,  or  seeking  for  any  external  means  of  passing 
a  solitary  hour,  she  shrunk  down  in  her  seat,  let 
ting  her  eyes  droop  gradually  to  the  floor.  At 
first,  her  countenance  was  disturbed  ;  but  its  aspect 
changed  to  one  of  deep  abstraction.  And  thus  she 
sat  for  nearly  an  hour.  The  opening  of  her  room 
door  startled  her  into  a  life  of  external  concious- 
ness.  Her  husband  entered.  She  glanced  at  his 
face,  and  saw  that  something  had  occurred  to  ruffle 
his  feelings.  He  looked  at  her  strangely  for  some 
moments,  as  if  searching  for  expected  meanings  in 
her  countenance. 

"  Are  you  not  well  ?"  Mrs.  Dexter  asked. 

"  Oh,  yes,  I'm  well  enough,"  he  answered  with 
unusual  abruptness  of  manner. 

She  said  no  more,  and  he  commenced  pacing  the 
floor  of  their  small  parlor  backwards  and  forwards 
with  restless  footsteps. 

Once,  without  moving  her  head  or  body,  Mrs. 
Dexter  stole  a  glance  towards  her  husband  ;  she  en- 


160     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAET ;  OB, 

countered  his  eyes  turning  stealthily  upon  her, 
and  scanning  her  face  with  an  earnest  scrutiny.  A 
moment  their  eyes  lingered,  mutually  spell-bound, 
and  then  the  glances  were  mutually  withdrawn. 
Mr.  Dexter  continued  his  nervous  perambulations, 
and  his  wife  remained  seated  and  silent. 

The  ringing  of  the  bell  announced  tea.  Mr. 
Dexter  paused,  and  Mrs.  Dexter,  rising  without 
remark,  took  his  arm,  and  they  went  down  to  the 
dining-hall,  neither  of  them  speaking  a  word.  On 
taking  her  place  at  the  table,  Mrs.  Dexter's  eyes 
ran  quickly  up  and  down  the  lines  of  faces  opposite. 

This  was  done  with  so  slight  a  movement  of  the 
head,  that  her  husband,  who  was  on  the  alert,  did 
not  detect  the  rapid  observation.  For  some  three 
or  four  minutes  the  guests  came  filing  in,  and  all 
the  while  Mrs.  Dexter  kept  glancing  from  face  to 
face.  She  did  not  move  her  head  or  seem  inter 
ested  in  the  people  around  her  ;  but  her  eyes  told 
a  very  different  story.  Twice  the  waiter  asked  if 
she  would  take  tea  or  coffee,  before  she  noticed 
him,  and  her  answer,  "  Coffee,"  apprised  her  watch 
ful  husband  of  the  fact  that  she  was  more  than  us 
ually  lost  in  thought. 

"  Not  coffee  ?"   Mr.  Dexter  bent  to  his  wife's  ear. 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF  JESSIE   LOSING.  161 

"  No,  black  tea,"  she  said,  quickly,  partly  turn 
ing  to  the  waiter.  "  I  was  not  thinking,"  she  added, 
speaking  to  her  husband.  At  the  moment  Mrs. 
Dexter  turned  towards  .  the  waiter,  she  leaned  for 
ward,  over  the  table,  and  gave  a  rapid  glance  down 
at  the  row  of  faces  on  that  side ;  and  in  replying  to 
her  husband,  she  managed  to  do  the  same  thing  for 
the  other  end  of  the  table.  No  change  in  her  coun 
tenance  attested  the  fact  that  her  search  for  some 
desired  or  expected  personage  had  been  successful. 
The  half  emptied  cup  of  tea,  and  merely  broken 
piece  of  toast  lying  on  her  plate,  showed  plainly 
enough  that  either  indisposition  or  mental  distur 
bance,  had  deprived  her  of  appetite. 

From  the  tea  table  they  went  to  one  of  the  par 
lors.  Only  a  few  gentlemen  and  ladies  were  there, 
most  of  the  guests  preferring  a  stroll'  out  of  doors, 
or  an  evening  drive. 

"  Shall  we  ride  ?     It  is  early  yet,  and  the  full 
moon  will  rise  as  the  sun  goes  down." 
.    "  I  have  ridden  enough  to  day,"  Mrs.  Dexter 
answered.     "  Fatigue  has  made  me  nervous.     But 
don't  let  that  prevent  your  taking  a  drive." 

"  I  shall  not  enjoy  it  unless  you  are  with  me," 
said  Mr.  Dexter. 


162     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT  ;  OK, 

"  Then  I  will  go."  Mrs.  Dexter  did  not  speak 
fretfully,  nor  in  the  martyr  tone  we  often  hear,  but 
in  a  voice  of  unexpected  cheerfulness.  "  Order  the 
carriage,"  she  added,  as  she  rose ;  "  I  will  get  my 
bonnet  and  shawl,  and  join  you  here  by  the  time 
it  is  at  the  door." 

«  No — no,  Jessie !  Not  if  you  are  so  fatigued.  I 
had  forgotten  our  journey  to-day,"  interposed  Mr. 
Dexter. 

"  A  ride  in  the  bracing  salt  air  will  do  me  good, 
perhaps.  I  am,  at  least,  disposed  to  make  the  trial. 
So  order  the  carriage,  and  I  will  be  with  you  in  a 
moment." 

Mrs.  Dexter  spoke  with  a  suddenly  outnashing 
animation,  and  then  left  her  husband  to  make  pre 
parations  for  accompanying  him  in  the  drive.  She 
had  passed  through  the  parlor  door  on  to  one  of 
the  long  porticoes  of  the  building,  and  was  moving 
rapidly,  when,  just  before  reaching  the  end,  where 
another  door  communicated  with  a  stairway,  she 
suddenly  stood  still,  face  to  face  with  a  man  who 
had  stepped  from  that  door  out  upon  the  portico. 

"  Jess — Mrs.  Dexter!"  the  man  checked  the  un 
guarded  utterance  of  her  familiar  Christian  name, 
and  gave  the  other  designation. 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOKING.  163 

"  Mr.  Hendrickson !" 

Only  for  an  instant  did  Mrs.  Dexter  betray  ner- 
self ;  "but  in  that  instant  her  heart  was  read,  as  if  a 
blaze  of  lightning  had  flashed  over  one  of  its  pages, 
long  hidden  away  in  darkness,  and  revealed  the 
writing  thereon  in  letters  of  gleaming  fire. 

"  You  arrived  to  day  ?"  Mr.  Hendrickson  also 
regained  the  even  balance  of  mind  which  had  mo 
mentarily  been  lost,  and  regained  it  as  quickly  as 
the  lady.  He  spoke  with  the  pleased  air  of  an 
acquaintance — nothing  more. 

"  This  afternoon,"  replied  Mrs.  Dexter  in  a  quiet 
tone,  and  with  a  smile  in  which  no  casual  observer 
could  have  seen  anything  deeper  than  pleasant  re 
cognition. 

"  How  long  will  you  remain  ?" 

"It  is  not  certain ;  perhaps  until  the  season 
closes." 

Mrs.  Dexter  made  a  motion  to  pass  on.  Mr. 
Hendrickson  raised  his  hat  and  bowed  very  respect 
fully  ;  and  thus  the  sudden  interview  ended. 

Mr.  Dexter  had  followed  his  wife  to  the  door  of 
the  parlor,  and  stood  looking  at  her  as  she  retired 
along  the  portico.  This  meeting  with  Hendrick 
son  was  therefore  in  full  view.  A  sudden  paleness 


164     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAET  J  OR, 

overspread  his  countenance ;  and  from  his  con 
vulsed  lips  there  fell  a  bitter  imprecation. 

On  reaching  her  apartments,  Mrs.  Dexter  was  so 
weak  that  she  was  forced  to  sit  down  upon  the  first 
chair  she  could  obtain.  A  dead  pallor  was  in  her 
face. 

"  Oh,  give  me  strength — self  control — motives  to 
duty  !" — in  weakness  and  fear  her  quivering  heart 
cried  upwards. 

"  Jessie  !"  How  long  she  had  been  sitting  thus 
Mrs.  Dexter  knew  not.  She  started.  It  was  the 
voice  of  her  husband. 

"  Not  ready  yet,  I  see  !"  His  tones  were  rough — 
his  manner  excited.  "  And  the  carriage  has  stood 
at  the  door  for  ten  minutes." 

"  1  am  ready !"  she  answered,  starting  up,  and 
lifting  her  bonnet  from  the  bed. 

"  It  is  no  matter  now.  The  sun  is  setting,  and 
I  have  ordered  the  carriage  back  to  the  stable. 
You  only  consented  to  go  on  my  account ;  and  I 
am  impatient  under  mere  acquiescence." 

"  You  wrong  me,  Mr.  Dexter,"  said  his  wife, 
with  unusal  earnestness  of  manner.  "  I  am  ready 
to  go  with  you  at  all  times ;  and  I  strive  in  all 
things  to  give  you  pleasure.  Did  I  hesitate  a  mo- 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF  JESSIE '  LORING.  165 

ment  when  you  suddenly  declared  your  wish  to 
leave  Saratoga  for  Newport  ?" 

"  No,  of  course  you  did  not ;  for  you  were  too 
glad  of  the  opportunity  to  get  here."  There  was  a 
strange- gleam  in  the  eyes  of  Mr.  Dexter  as  he  said 
this ;  and  his  voice  had  in  it  an  angry  bitterness 
never  before  obserred. 

"  What  do  you  mean,  sir  ?"  demanded  the  out 
raged  wife,  turning  upon  her  husband  abruptly, 
and  showing  an  aspect  so  stern  and  fierce,  that  the 
astonished  man  retreated  a  pace  or  two  as  if  in  fear. 
Never  before  had  he  seen  in  that  beautiful  face  the 
reflection  of  a  spirit  so  wildly  disturbed  by 
passion. 

"  Speak  out,  Leon  Dexter !  What  do  you 
mean  ?" 

And  her  eyes  rested  on  his  with  a  glance  as 
steady  as  an  eagle's. 

"  I  saw  your  meeting  a  little  while  ago." 

Mr.  Dexter  rallied  a  little. 

"What  meeting?"  There  was  no  betraying 
sign  in  Mrs.  Dexter's  face,  nor  the  least  faltering  in 
her  tones. 

"  Your  meeting  with  Mm." 

"  With  whom  ?    Speak  out  plainly,  sir !     I  am  in 


166     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  ;  OE, 

no  mood  for  trifling,  and  in  no  condition  for  solving 
riddles." 

"  With  Paul  Hendrickson."  Dexter  pronounced 
the  name  slowly,  and  with  all  the  meaning  empha 
sis  he  could  throw  into  his  voice. 

"  Well,  sir,  what  of  that  ?"  Still  neither  eye  nor 
voice  faltered. 

"  Much !     You  see  that  I  understand  you !" 

"  I  see  that  you  do  not  understand  me,"  was 
firmly  answered.  "  And  now,  sir,  will  you  suffer 
me  to  demand  an  explanation  of  your  language 
just  now.  I  want  no  evasion — no  faltering — no 
holding  back.  '  Too  glad  of  an  opportunity  to  get 
here !'  That  was  the  sentence.  Its  meaning, 
sir?" 

The  small  head  of  Mrs.  Dexter  was  erect ;  her 
nostrils  distended  ;  her  lips  closely  laid  upon  each 
other  ;  her  eyes  full  fixed  and  almost  fiery  in  their 
intense  light.  Suddenly  she  was  transformed  in  the 
eyes  of  her  husband  from  a  yielding,  gentle,  though 
cold  woman  into  the  very  spirit  of  accusation  and 
defiance.  He  was  silent ;  for  he  saw  that  he  had 
gone  too  far. 

"  That  must  be  explained,  sir !"  She  was  not  to 
be  turned  aside.  "  I  have  noted  your  capricious 


THE   LIFE-TKIALS   OF  JESSIE   LOEINQ.  167 

conduct ;  your  singular  glances  at  times ;  your 
strange  moodiness  without  apparent  cause.  A  lit 
tle  light  has  given  a  faint  impression  of  their  mean 
ing.  But  I  must  have  the  full  blaze  of  your  thoughts. 
Nothing  else  will  satisfy  me  now." 

She  paused.  Mr.  Dexter  had  indeed  gone  a  step 
too  far,  a  fact  of  which  he  was  painfully  aware.  He 
had  conjured  up  a  spirit  that  it  might  not  be  easy 
to  lay. 

"You  are  too  excited.  Calm  yourself,"  he 
said. 

Turning  from  her  husband,  Mrs.  Dexter  crossed 
the  room,  and  seating  herself  upon  a  sofa,  said,  in 
a  quiet  way — 

"Sit  down  beside  me,  Mr.  Dexter.  lam  calm. 
Sit  down  and  speak ;  for  your  recent  language 
must  be  explained.  Evasion  will  be  fruitless — I  will 
not  accept  of  it." 

"  I  spoke  hastily.     Forget  my  words." 

Mr.  Dexter  sat  down  beside  his  wife,  and  spoke 
in  a  gentle  soothing  manner. 

"  It  is  all  in  vain,  Mr.  Dexter !  All  in  vain  ! 
Yours  were  no  idle  words  ;  and  I  can  never  forget 
them.  You  have  greatly  misapprehended  your 
wife,  I  see  ;  and  the  quicker  you  know  this  the  bet- 


168     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART;  OK, 

ter  it  will  be  for  both  of  us.  The  time  has  come 
for  explanation— and  it  shall  be. made  !  Why  did 
I  wish  to  come  to  Newport  ?" 

"  You  knew  that  Paul  Hendrickson  was  here," 
said  Mr.  Dexter  ;  "  that  was  the  reason  1" 

"  It  is  false,  sir !"  was  the  quick  and  sharp  re 
joinder. 

"  Jessie  !  beware  how  you  speak !"  The  angry 
blood  mounted  to  the  -very  brow  of  the  husband. 

"  It  is  false,  sir !"  she  repeated,  even  more 
emphatically,  if  that  were  possible.  "  Of  his  move 
ments  I  am  as  ignorant  as  you  are !" 

"  I  cannot  tamely  bear  such  words,"  said  Mr. 
Dexter,  still  much  excited. 

"And  1  will  not  bear  such  imputations,"  was 
firmly  rejoined. 

Mr.  Dexter  arose,  and  commenced  the  unsatisfac 
tory  movement  of  pacing  the  floor.  Mrs.  Dexter 
remained  sitting  firmly  erect,  her  eyes  following  the 
form  of  her  husband. 

"We  will  drop  the  subject  now  and  forever," 
said  the  former,  stopping,  at  length,  in  front  of  his 
wife. 

Mrs.  Dexter  did  not  reply. 

"  I  may  have  been  too  hasty." 


THE   LIFE-TKIALS   OF  JESSIE   LOSING.  169 

'•'•May  have  been!"     There  was  contempt  on 

the  lip,  and  indignation  in  the  voice  of  Mrs.  Dex- 

* 

ter. 

"  Yes,  may.  We  are  certain  of  nothing  in  this 
world,"  said  her  husband,  coldly  ;  "  and  now,  as  I 
said,  we  will  drop  the  subject." 

"It  is  easier  to  say  than  to  unsay,  Mr.  Dexter. 
The  sentiment  is  very  trite,  but  it  involves  a  world 
of  meaning  sometimes,  and  " — she  paused,  then 
added,  with  marked  emphasis — "  does  now  /" 

Mr.  Dexter  made  no  response,  and  there  the  mat 
ter  ended  for  the  time  j  each  of  the  ill-assorted  part 
ners  farther  from  happiness  than  they  had  yet  been 
since  the  day  of  their  unfortunate  union. 


170     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT  J  OK, 


CHAPTER  XIY. 

AN  hour  later :  Scene,  the  public  parlor. 

"  Mrs.  Dexter." 

The  lady  rose,  a  pleasant  smile  animating  her 
face,  and  returned  the  gentleman's  courteous  greet 
ing. 

"  Mr.  Hendrickson."  Yes,  that  was  the  name  on 
her1  lips. 

"  You  arrived  to-day,"  he  said,  and  he  took  a 
place  at  the  other  end  of  the  tete-d-tete. 

"Yes." 

"  From  Saratoga,  I  believe  2" 

"  Yes.     How  long  have  you  been  at  Newport  2" 

"  I  arrived  only  this  morning.  You  are  looking 
very  well,  Mrs.  Dexter." 

"Ami?" 

"  Yes.     Time  lays  his  hands  upon  you  lightly  !" 

The  shadow  of  another's  presence  came  between 
them. 

"  Mr.  Dexter,  my  husband ;  Mr.  •  Hendrickson, 


THE   LIFK-TKIALS   OF   JESSIE   LORING.  171 

fromB ,"  said  Mrs.  Dexter,  witli  the  most  perfect 

ease  of  manner,  presenting  the  two  gentlemen. 
They  had  met  before,  as  the  reader  knows,  and  had 
good  reason  for  remembering  each  other.  They 
touched  hands,  Dexter  frowning,  and  Hendrick- 
son  slightly  embarrassed.  Mrs.  Dexter  entirely 
herself,  smiling,  talkative,  and  with  an  exterior 
as  unruffled  as  a  mountain  lake. 

"  How  long  will  you  remain  ?"  she  asked,  speak 
ing  to  Mr.  Hendrickson. 

"  Several  days." 

"  Ah  !  I  am  pleased  to  hear  you  say  so.  I  left 
some  very  pleasant  friends  at  Saratoga,  but  yours  is 
the  only  familiar  face  I  have  yet  seen  here." 

"  I  saw  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Florence  just  now,"  said 
Mr.  Dexter. 

"Did  you?" 

"  Yes.  There  they  are,  at  the  lower  end  of  the 
parlor.  Do  you  see  them  ?" 

Mrs.  yDexter  turned,  her  eyes  in  the  direction 
indicated  by  her  husband,  and  replied  in  an  indif 
ferent  manner : 

"  Oh,  yes." 

"  Mrs.  Florence  is  looking  at  you  now.  Won't 
you  go  over  and  see  her  ?" 


172     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART;  OR, 

"  After  a  while,"  replied  Mrs.  Dexter.  Then 
turning  to  Mr.  Hendrickson,  she  said  : 

"  These  summer  resorts  are  the  dullest  places 
imaginable  without  congenial  friends." 

"  So  I  should  think.  But  you  can  scarcely  know 
the  absence  of  these.  I  heard  of  you  at  Saratoga, 
as  forming  the  centre  of  one  of  the  most  agreeable 
and  intelligent  circles  there." 

"Ah  !"  Mrs.  Dexter  was  betrayed  into  something 
like  surprise. 

"  Yes.  I  saw  Miss  Arden  in  New  York,  as  I 
came  through.  She  had  been  to  Saratoga." 

"  Miss  Arden  ?  I  don't  remember  her,"  said 
Mrs.  Dexter. 

"  She  resides  in  B ." 

"  Miss  Arden  ?  Miss  Arden  ?"  Mrs.  Dexter 
seemed  curious.  "  "What  is  her  appearance  ?" 

"  Tall,  with  a  very  graceful  figure.  Complexion 
dark  enough  to  make  her  pass  for  a  brunette. 
Large  black  eyes  and  raven.hair." 

"  In  company  with  her  mother  ?"  said  Mrs.  Dex 
ter. 

"Yes." 

I  remember  her  now.  She  was  quite  the  belle 
at  Saratoga.  But  I  was  not  so  fortunate  as  to  make 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LORING.  173 

her  acquaintance.     She  sings  wonderfully.     Few 
professional  artists  are  so  gifted." 

"  You  have  used  the  right  word,"  said  Mr.  Hen- 
drickson.  "  Her  musical  powers  are  wonderful. 
I  wish  you  knew  her,  she  is  a  charming  girl." 

"  You  must  help  me  to  that  knowledge  on  our 
return  to  B ." 

"  Nothing  would  give  me  more  pleasure.  I  am 
sure  you  will  like  each  other,"  said  Hendrickson, 
warmly." 

From  that  point  in  the  conversation  Mrs.  Dexter 
began  to  lose  her  self-possession,  and  free,  out 
spoken  manner.  The  subject  was  changed,  but  the 
airiness  of  tone  and  lightness  of  speech  was  gone. 
Just  in  time,  Mrs.  Florence  came  across  the  room, 
joined  the  circle,  and  saving  her  from  a  betrayal 
of  feelings  that  she  would  not,  on  any  account,  have 
manifested. 

Mrs.  Florence  was  a  woman  of  taste.  She  had 
been  in  New  York  a  few  days  previously,  whither 
she  had  gone  to  hear  a  celebrated  European  singer, 
whose  fame  had  preceded  her.  Her  allusion  to 
this  fact  led  to  an  introduction  of  the  subject  of 
music.  Hendrickson  made  some  remarks  that 
arrested  her  attention,  when  quite  an  animated  con- 


174     THE  HAND  BU  f  NOT  THE  HEART  J  OK, 

versation  sprung  up  between  them.  Mrs.  Dexter 
did  not  join  in  it ;  but  sat  a  closely  observant  lis 
tener.  The  young  man's  criticisms  on  the  art  of 
music  surprised  her.  They  were  so  new,  so  analy 
tical,  and  so  comprehensive.  He  had  evidently 
studied  the  subject,  not  as  an  artist,  but  as  a  philo 
sopher — but  with  so  clear  a  comprehension  of  the 
art,  that  from  the  mere  science,  he  was  able  to  lead 
the  mind  upward  into  the  fullest  appreciation  of  the 
grander  ideal. 

Now  and  then  as  he  talked,  Mr.  Dexter  passed  in 
a  brief  sentence  ;  but  to  the  keen,  intelligent  per 
ception  of  his  wife,  what  mere  sounding  words  were 
his  empty  common-places  !  The  contrast  between 
him  and  Hendrickson  was  painful.  It  was  in  vain 
that  she  tried  not  to  make  this  contrast.  It  thrust 
itself  upon  her,  in  spite  of  all  resistance. 

Mr.  Florence  had  crossed  the  room  with  his  wife, 
and  joined  the  little  circle.  He  did  not  take  part 
in  the  conversation,  and  now  said,  rising  as  he 
spoke. 

"  Come,  Dexter  ;  let's  you  and  I  have  a  game  of 
billiards." 

He  laid  his  hand  familiarly  on  the  arm  of  Mr. 
Dexter,  and  that  individual  could  not  refuse  to  ac- 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOEING.  175 

cept  the  invitation.  They  left  the  room  together. 
This  withdrawal  of  Mr.  Dexter  put  both  his  wife 
and  Mr.  Hendrickson  more  #t  their  ease.  Both  felt 
his  absence  as  a  relief.  For  a  time  the  conversa 
tion  was  chiefly  conducted  by  the  latter  and  Mrs. 
Florence,  only  an  occasional  remark  falling  from 
the  lips  of  Mrs.  Dexter,  and  that  almost  extorted 
by  question  or  reference.  But  gradually  she  was 
drawn  in,  and  led  on,  until  she  was  the  talker  and 
they  the  listeners. 

When  interested  in  conversation,  a  tine  enthusi 
asm  always  gave  to  the  manners  of  Mrs.  Dexter  a 
charming  grace,  and  to  her  beautiful  countenance 
a  higher  beauty.  She  was  almost  fascinating. 
Never  had  Hendrickson  felt  her  power,  as  he  felt 
it  now,  while  looking  into  her  animated  face,  and 
listening  to  sentiment,  description,  criticism  or 
anecdote,  flowing  from  her  lips  in  eloquent  lan 
guage,  and  evincing  a  degree  of  taste,  discrimina 
tion,  refinement  and  observation  he  could  scarcely 
have  imagined  in  one  of  her  age. 

He  was  leaning  towards  her,  and  listening  with 
rapt  interest,  his  countenance  and  eyes  full  of  ad 
miration,  when  a  quick,  impatient  ahem  caused  him 
to  look  up.  As  he  did  so,  he  encountered  the 


176     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT  ;  OK, 

severe  face  and  piercing  eyes  of  Mr.  Dexter.  The 
sudden  change  in  the  expression  of  his  countenance 
warned  Mrs.  Dexter  of  the  presence  of  her  hus 
band,  who  had  approached  quietly,  and  was  stand 
ing  a  pace  or  two  behind  his  wife.  But  not  the 
slightest  consciousness  of  this  presence  did  her 
manner  exhibit.  She  kept  on  talking  as  before,  and 
talking  to  Mr.  Hendrickson. 

"  Will  you  go  with  me  now,  Mrs.  Dexter  ?"  said 
her  husband,  coming  forward,  and  making  a  motion 
as  if  about  to  offer  his  arm. 

"  JSTot  yet  if  you  please,  Mr.  Dexter,"  was  smil 
ingly  answered.  "  I  am  too  much  interested  in  this 
good  company.  Come,  sit  down  here,"  and  she 
made  room  for  him  on  the  sofa. 

But  he  stood  still. 

"  Then  amuse  yourself  a  little  longer,"  said  his 
wife,  in  a  gay  voice.  "I  will  be  ready  to  go  with 
you  after  a  while." 

Mr.  Dexter  moved  away,  disappointed,  and  com 
menced  pacing  the  floor  of  the  long  parlor.  At 
every  turn  his  keen  eyes  took  in  the  aspect  of  the 
little  group,  and  particularly  the  meaning  of  his 
wife's  face,  as  it  turned  to  Mr.  Ilendrickson,  either 
in  the  play  of  expression  or  warm  with  the  listen- 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS    OF    JESSIE    LORING.  177 

er's  interest.  The  sight  half  maddened  him. 
Three  times,  in  the  next  half  hour,  he  said  to  his 
wife,  as  he  paused  in  his  restless  promenade  before 
her — 

"  Come,  Jessie." 

But  she  only  threw  him  a  smiling  negative,  and 
became  still  more  interesting  to  her  friends.  At  last, 
and  of  her  own  will,  she  arose,  and  bowing,  with 
a  face  all  smiles  and  eyes  dancing  in  light,  to  Mr. 
Hendrickson  and  Mrs.  Florence,  she  stepped  for 
ward,  and  placing  her  hand  on  the  arm  of  her  hus 
band,  went  like  a  sunbeam  from  the  room. 


8*= 


178     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT  ;  OK, 


CHAPTER  XV. 

"MADAM!" 

They  had  reached  their  own  apartments,  and 
Mrs.  Dexter  was  moving  forward  past  her  husband. 
The  stern  imperative  utterance  caused  her  to  pause 
and  turn  round. 

"  We  leave  for  home  in  the  morning  !"  said  Mr. 
Dexter. 

"  We  ?"  His  wife  looked  at  him  fixedly  as  she 
made  the  simple  interrogation. 

"  Yes,  we  /"  was  answered,  and  in  the  voice  of 
one  who  had  made  up  his  mind,  and  did  not  mean 
to  be  thwarted  in  his  purpose. 

"  Mr.  Dexter  !"  his  wife  stood  very  erect  before 
him;  her  eyes  did  not  quail  beneath  his  angry 
glances ;  nor  was  there  any  sign  of  weakness  in 
her  low,  even  tones.  "Let  me  warn  you  now — 
and  regard  the  warning  as  for  all  time — against 
any  attempt  to  coerce  me  into  obedience  to  your 
arbitrary  exactions.  Your  conduct  to-night  was 
simply  disgraceful — hirriliating  to  yourself,  and 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS    OF   JESSIE   LORING.  1T9 

mortifying  and  unjust  to  your  wife.  Let  us  have 
no  more  of  this.  There  is  a  high  wall  between  us, 

Mr.  Dexter — high  as  heaven  and  deep  as  ." 

Her  feelings  were  getting  the  rein  and  she  checked 
herself.  "Your  own  hands  have  built  it,"  she 
resumed  in  a  colder  tone,  "  but  your  own  hands,  I 
fear,  have  not  the  strength  to  pull  it  down.  Love 
you  I  never  did,  and  you  knew  it  from  the  begin 
ning  ;  love  you  I  never  can.  That  is  a  simple  im 
possibility.  .  But  true  to  you  as  steel  to  the  magnet 
in  all  the  externals  of  my  life,  I  have  been  and 
shall  continue  to  be,  even  to  the  end  of  this  un 
happy  union.  As  a  virtuous  woman,  I  could  be 
nothing  less.  The  outrage  I  have  suffered  this 
day  from  your  hands,  is  irreparable.  I  never  im 
agined  it  would  come  to  this.  I  did  not  dream 
that  It  was  in  you  to  charge  upon  your  wife  the 
meditation  of  a  crime  the  deepest  it  is  possible  for 
a  woman  to  commit."  That  you  were  weakly  jea 
lous,  I  saw ;  and  I  came  here  in  cheerful  acquies 
cence  to  your  whim,  in  order  to  help  you  to  get 
right.  But  this  very  act  of  cheerful  acquiescence 
was  made  the  ground  of  a  charge  that  shocked  my 
being  to  the  inmost  and  changed  me  towards  y  DU 
irrevocably." 


180     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HKAHT  ;  OK, 

The  stern  angry  aspect  of  Mr.  Dexter  was  all 
gone.  It  seemed  as  if  emotion  had  suddenly  ex 
hausted  itself. 

"  We  had  better  go  home  to-morrow."  He  spoke 
in  a  subdued  voice.  "  Neither  of  us  can  find  en 
joyment  here." 

"  I  shall  not  be  ready  to  morrow,  nor  the  next 
day  either,"  was  the  out-spoken  reply.  "To  go 
thus  hurriedly,  after  your  humiliating  exhibition  of 
distrust,  would  only  be  to  give  free  rein  to  the 
tongue  of  scandal ;  and  that  I  wish  to  avoid." 

JD  ' 

"It  has  free  rein  already,"  said  Mr.  Dexter. 
"  At  Saratoga  I  heard  your  name  lightly  spoken 
and  brought  you  away  for  that  very  reason.  You 
are  not  chary  enough  of  yourself  in  these  public 
places.  I  know  men  better  than  you  do." 

"  If  a  light  word  was  spoken  of  me,  sir,  at  Sara 
toga  or  anywhere  else,  you  alone  are  to  blame.  My 
conduct  has  warranted  no  such  freedom  of  speech. 
But  I  can  easily  imagine  how  men  will  think 
lightly  of  a  woman  when  her  husband  shows  watch 
fulness  and  suspicion.  It  half  maddens  me,  sir,  to 
have  this  disgrace  put  upon  me.  To-morrow  week 
I  will  go  home  if  you  then  desire  it — not  a  day  earlier. 
/Ynd  I  warn  you  against  any  more  such  exhibitions 


THE   LIFE-TKIALS   OF  JESSIE   LOEINQ.  181 

as  we  have  had  to-night.  If  you  cannot  take  pleasure 
in  society  that  is  congenial  to  my  taste,  leave  me 
to  my  enjoyment,  but  don't  mar  it  with  your  cloudy 
presence.  And  set  this  down  as  a  truism — the 
wife  that  must  be  watched,  is  not  worth  having." 

For  utterances  like  these,  Mr.  Dexter  was  not 
prepared.  They  stunned  and  weakened  him.  He 
felt  that  he  had  a  spirit  to  deal  with  that  might 
easily  be.  driven  to  desperation.  A  man,  if  reso 
lute,  he  had  believed  might  control  the  actions  of 
almost  any  woman — that  woman  being  his  wife. 
And  he  had  never  doubted  the  result  of  marital 
authority,  should  he  at  any  time  deem  it  necessary 
to  lay  upon  Mrs.  Dexter  an  iron  hand.  The  occa 
sion,  as  he  believed,  had  arrived  ;  the  hand  was  put 
forth  ;  the  will  was  resolute  ;  but  his  vice-like  grip 
closed  upon  the  empty  air  !  The  spirit  with  which 
he  had  to  deal  was  of  subtler  essence  and  more 
vigorous  life  than  he  had  imagined. 

How  suddenly  were  Mrs.  Dexter's  wifely,  un 
selfish  and  self-denying  purposes  in  regard  to  her 
husband  scattered  upon  the  winds !  She  had  come 
to  Newport,  resolved  to  be  all  to  him  that  it  was 
possible  for  her  to  be — even  to  the  withdrawing  of 
herself  more  from  social  circles  in  which  attractive 


• 
182  TIIE    HAND   BUT   NOT   THE    HEAKI  ;    OB, 

men  formed  a  part.  The  admonitions  of  Mrs.  De 
Lisle  sunk  deeply  into  her  heart.  She  saw  her 
relation  to  her  husband  in  a  new  aspect.  He  had 
larger  claims  upon  her  than  she  had  admitted 
heretofore.  If  she  had  been  partly  coerced  into 
the  compact,  he  had  been  deceived  by  her  promises 
at  the  altar  into  expecting  more  than  it  was  in  her 
power  to  give.  She  owed  him  not  only  a  wife's 
allegiance,  but  a  wife's  tender  consideration. 

Alas !  how  suddenly  had  all  these  good  purposes 
been  withered  up,  like  .tender  flowers  in  the  biting 
frost !  And  now  there  was  strife  between  them — 
bitterness,  anger,  scorn,  alienation.  The  uneasiness 
which  her  husband  had  manifested  for  some 
months  previously,  whenever  she  was  in  free,  ani 
mated  conversation  with  gentlemen,  annoyed  her 
slightly  ;  but  she  had  never  regarded  it  as  a  very 
serious  affection  on  his  part,  and,  conscious  of 
her  own  purity,  believed  that  he  would  ere  long 
see  the  evidence  thereof,  and  cease  to  g*ive 
himself  useless  trouble.  His  conduct  at  Sarato 
ga,  followed  by  the  conversations  with  Mrs.  De 
Lisle  and  Mrs.  Anthony,  aroused  her  to  a  truer 
sense  of  his  actual  state  of  mind.  His  singular, 
stealthy  scanning  of  her  countenance,  immediately 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF  JESSIE   LOKING.  183 

after  their  arrival  at  Newport,  following,  as  she 
rightly  concluded,  his  unexpected  meeting  with. 
Hendrickson,  considerably  disturbed  the  balance 
of  mind  she  had  sought  to  gain,  and  this  dimmed 
her  clSar  perceptions  of  duty.  His  direct  reference 
to  Mr.  Hendrickson,  after  her  hurried  meeting 
with  him,  filled  her  with  indignation,  and  simply 
prepared  the  way  for  tnis  last  defiant  position. 
She  felt  deeply  outraged,  and  wholly  estranged. 

Icy  reserve  and  distant  formality  now  marked 
the  intercourse  of  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Dexter.  It  was  all 
in  vain  that  he  sought  to  win  back  that  semblance 
of  affection  which  he  had  lost.  Mrs.  Dexter 
was  too  sincere  a  woman — too  earnest  and  true — 
for  broad  disguises.  She  could  be  courteous,  re 
gardful,  attentive  to  all  the  needs  of  her  husband  ; 
but  she  could  not  pretend  to  love,  when  daily  her 
heart  experienced  new  occasions  of  dislike. 

On  the  next  morning,  Mrs.  Dexter,  on  going  into 
one  of  the  parlors,  met  Mr.  Hendrickson.  From 
his  manner,  it  was  evident  that  he  had  been  wait 
ing  there  in  hopes  to  gain  an  interview.  Mrs. 
Dexter  felt  displeased.  She  was  a  lawful  wife,  and 
it  struck  her  as  an  implication  on  his  part  of  possi 
ble  dishonor  on  hers.  He  came  forward  to  meet 


184     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT  J  OK, 

her  as  she  entered  the  room,  with  a  pleased  smile 
on  his  face,  but  she  gave  his  warm  greeting  but  a 
cold  return.  An  instant  change  in  his  manner, 
showed  the  effect  upon  his  feelings. 

"  I  shall  leave  to-day,"  he  said. 

"  So  soon  ?  I  thought  you  purposed  remaining 
for  several  days." 

"  So  I  did.  But  I  have  a  letter  this  morning 
from  the  brother  of  Miss  Arden,  of  whom  I  spoke 
last  evening.  He  leaves  her  at  Albany  to-day, 
and  asks  me  to  join  her  to-morrow.  They  were  on 
their  way  to  Niagara  ;  but  unexpected  business — 
he  is  a  lawyer — requires  him  to  return  home ;  and 
I  am  to  be  the  young  lady's  escort.  So  they  have 
arranged  the  matter,  and  I  cannot  decline,  of 
course." 

"  Why  should  you  2"  Mrs.  Dexter  schooled  her 
voice.  Its  natural  expression,  at  that  time,  might 
have  betrayed  a  state  of  feeling  that  it  would  have 
been  treason  to  exhibit. 

"True.  Why  should  I?  The  lady  is  charm 
ing.  I  was  going  to  say  that  she  has  not  her 
peer." 

"  Why  not  say  it  ?"  remarked  Mrs.  Dexter. 

"  Because,"  replied  Mr.  Hendrickson,  as  his  eyes 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOEING.  185 

withdrew  themselves  from  the  face  of  Mrs.  Dexter, 
"  I  do  not  believe  it.  She  has  her  peer." 

"  She  must  be  a  lovely  woman  so  to  captivate 
your  fancy,"  said  Mrs.  Dexter. 

"  Did  I  say  that  she  had  captivated  my  fancy  ?" 
asked  Hendrickson. 

"  If  not  in  so  many  formally  spoken  words,  yet 
in  a  language  that  we  ladies  can  read  at  a  glance," 
replied  Mrs.  Dexter,  affecting  a  gay  smile.  "Well," 
she  added,  "  as  you  are  to  be  so  largely  the  gainer 
by  this  sudden  withdrawal  from  Newport,  we  quiet 
people,  who  cannot  but  miss  your  pleasant  com 
pany,  have  nothing  left  but  acquiescence.  I  hope 
to  make  Miss  Arden's  acquaintance  on  our  return 


The  voice  of  Mrs.  Dexter  had  a  faint  huskiness 
and  there  were  signs  of  depression  which  she  was 
not  able  to  conceal.  These  the  watchful  eyes  of 
Mr.  Hendrickson  detected.  But  so  far  from  taking 
any  advantage  thereof,  he  made  an  effort  to  divert 
both  her  mind  and  his  own  by  the  introduction  of 
a  more  indifferent  subject.  They  conversed  for 
half  an  hour  longer,  but  no  further  reference  was 
made  to  Miss  Arden.  Then  Mr.  Hendrickson  ex 
cused  himself.  Mrs.  Dexter  did  not  see  him  again. 


186     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  J  OB, 

He  left  for  Boston  soon  after,  on  his  way  to  join 
Miss  Arden  at  Albany. 

From  the  parlor  Mrs.  Dexter  returned  to  her 
own  rooms,  and  did  not  leave  them  during  the  day. 
She  had  felt  feverish  on  rising,  and  was  conscious 
of  a  pressure  on  the  brain,  accompanied  by  a  feel 
ing  of  lassitude  that  was  unusual.  This  condition 
of  the  system  increased,  as  the  day  wore  on.  At 
dinner-time,  her  husband  urged  her  to  go  with  him 
to  the  table ;  but  she  had  a  loathing  for  food,  and 
declined.  He  ordered  a  servant  to  take  tea,  with 
toast  and  some  delicacies,  to  her  room ;  but  when 
he  came  up  again,  he  found  them  untasted. 

"  Was  this  a  disease  of  mind  or  body  ?"  Mr. 
Dexter  asked  himself  the  question,  and  studied 
over  the  solution.  Notwithstanding  the  disturbed 
interview  with  his  wife  on  the  previous  evening, 
he  had  kept  his  eyes  on  her,  and  noticed  her  meet 
ing  with  Hendrickson  in  the  parlor.  Her  warning, 
however,  had  proved  effectual  in  preventing  his 
intrusion  upon  them.  He  saw  Hendrickson  leave 
her,  and  noticed  that  she  sat  in  deep  abstraction 
for  some  time  afterwards,  and  that  when  she  arose, 
and  went  up  to  her  own  apartments,  her  face  wore 
an  expression  that  was  unusual.  Much  to  his  sur- 


THE   LIFE-TKIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOKING.  187 

prise,  he  saw  Hendrickson  leave  soon  after  for 
Boston.  On  examining  the  register,  he  learned 
that  his  destination  was  Albany. 

A  momentary  relief  was  experienced  at  this  de 
parture  ;  but  soon  mystery  was  suggested,  and  a 
mutual  understanding  between  his  wife  and 
Hendrickson  imagined.  And  so  fuel  was  heaped 
on  the  fires  of  jealousy,  which  blazed  up  again  as 
fiercely  as  ever.  The  seclusion  of  herself  in  her 
own  room  by  Mrs.  Dexter,  following  as  it  did  im 
mediately  on  the  departure  of  Hendrickson,  con 
firmed  him  in  the  impression  that  she  was  deeply 
interested  in  her  old  lover.  How  else  could  he 
interpret  her  conduct?  If  she  were  really  sick, 
conflict  of  feeling,  occasioned  by  his  presence,  was 
the  cause.  That  to  his  mind  was  clear.  And  he 
was  not  so  far  wrong ;  for,  in  part,  here  lay  the 
origin  of  her  disturbed  condition  of  mind  and  body. 
Still,  his  conclusions  went  far  beyond  the  truth. 

Mrs.  Dexter  was  lying  on  the  bed  when  her 
husband  came  up  from  dinner.  She  did  not  stir 
on  his  entrance.  Her  face  was  turned  away,  and 
partly  hidden  by  the  fringe  of  a  pillow. 

"  You  must  eat  something,"  he  said,  speaking 
kindly.  But  she  neither  moved  nor  replied. 


188     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART J  OK, 

"  Jessie."     No  motion  or  response. 

"Jessie!"  Mr.  Dexter  stood  a  few  feet  from 
the  bed,  looking  at  her. 

"  She  rnay  be  sleeping,"  he  thought,  and  step 
ping  forward,  he  bent  down  and  laid  his  fingers 
lightly  on  her  cheek.  It  was  unnaturally  hot. 

"  Jessie  " — he  uttered  her  name  again — "  are 
you  asleep  ?" 

"  No."    She  replied  in  a  feeble  murmur. 

"  Won't  you  have  a  cup  of  tea  ?" 

"No." 

"  Are  you  sick  ?" 

She  did  not  answer.  He  laid  his  hand  upon  her 
cheek  again. 

"  You  have  fever." 

A  low  sigh  was  the  only  response. 

"  Does  your  head  ache  ?" 

Something  was  said  in  reply,  but  the  ear  of  Mr. 
Dexter  could  not  make  out  the  words. 

"  Jessie  !  Jessie  !  Why  don't  you  answer  me  ? 
Are  you  sick  ?" 

Mr.  Dexter  spoke  with  rising  impatience.  Still 
and  silent  as  an  effigy  she  remained.  For  a  mo 
ment  or  two  he  strode  about  the  room,  and  then 
went  out  abruptly.  He  came  back  in  half  an  hour. 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LORING.  189 

There  lay  his  wife  as  he  had  left  her,  and  without 
the  appearance  of  having  stirred.  A  shadow  of 
deeper  concern  now  fell  upon  his  spirits.  Bending 
over  the  bed.  and  laying  his  hand  upon  her  face 
again,  he  perceived  that  it  was  not  only  flushed, 
but  hotter  than  before.  He  spoke,  but  her  ears 
seemed  shut  to  his  voice. 

"  Jessie !  Jessie  !"  He  moved  her  gently,  turn 
ing  her  face  towards  him.  Her  eyes  were  closed, 
her  lips  shut  firmly,  and  wearing  an  expression  of 
pain,  her  forehead  slightly  contracted. 

"  Shall  I  call  a  physician  ?"  he  asked. 

But  she  did  not  reply.  Sudden  alarm  awakened 
in  the  heart  of  Mr.  Dexter.  Going  to  the  bell,  he 
rang  it  violently.  To  the  servant  who  came  he 
said,  hurriedly— 

"  Go  and  find  Dr.  G ,  and  tell  him  that  I  wish 

to  see  him  immediately." 

The  servant  departed,  and  Dexter  went  back  to 
the  bed.  No  change  had  occurred  in  his  wife. 
She  still  lay,  to  all  appearance,  in  a  stupor.  It  was 

nearly  a  quarter  of  an  hour  before  Dr.  G 

came ;  the  waiter  had  been  at  some  trouble  to  find 
him. 

"  My  wife  seems  quite  ill,"  said  Mr.  Dexter,  as 


190    THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  ;  OB, 

he  entered,  "  and,  I  think  requires  medical  atten 
tion." 

Dr.  G went  to  the  bedside  and  stood  looking 

at  the  flushed  face  of  Mrs.  Dexter  for  some  moments. 
Then  he  laid  his  hand  against  her  cheek,  and  then 
took  hold  of  her.  wrist.  Mr.  Dexter,  whose  eyes 
were  on  him,  thought  he  saw  him  start  and  change 
countenance  at  the  first  stroke  of  the  pulse  that 
played  against  his  fingers. 

How  long  has  she  been  in  this  condition?"  asked 
the  doctor,  turning  with  a  serious  aspect  to  Mr. 
Dexter. 

"  She  has  not  seemed  well  since  morning."  was 
replied.  I  noticed  that  she  scarcely  tasted  food  at 
breakfast,  and  she  has  kept  her  room  for  most  of  the 
day,  lying  down  for  a  greater  part  of  the  time.  I 
left  her  on  the  bed  when  I  went  to  dinner.  She 
did  not  complain  of  indisposition,  but  seemed  listless 
and  out  of  spirits.  I  ordered  tea  sent  up,  but,  as 
you  perceive,  it  has  not  been  tasted.  On  my  return, 
I  found  her  in  the  condition  in  which  she  now  lies 
- — appparently  in  a  heavy  sleep. 

The  physician  did  not  seem  to  get  any  light  from 
this  statement.  He  turned  his  eyes  again  upon  the 
face  of  Mr.  Dexter,  and  stood  in  thought  for  almost 


THE   LIFE-TKIALS   OF  JESSIE   LOEINO.  191 

a  minute.  Then  he  examined  her  pulse  again.  It 
had  a  strong,  rapid,  wiry  beat.  Stooping,  he  looked 
very  closely  at  the  condition  of  her  skin  ;  then  shook 
his  head,  and  said  something  in  an  under  tone. 

"  Do  you  think  her  seriously  ill  ?"  inquired  Mr. 
Dexter. 

"  Has  there  been  any  unusual  exposure  ;  or  any 
strong  mental  disturbance  ?"  asked  the  doctor,  not 
seeming  to  have  heard  the  question. 

"  There  has  been  mental  disturbance,"  said  Mr. 
Dexter. 

"  Of  a  violent  character  ?" 

"  She  was  strongly  agitated  last  night,  at  some 
thing  that  happened." 

"  "Was  it  of  a  nature  to  leave  a  permanent  impres 
sion  on  her  feelings  ?" 

"  Yes."  The  answers  were  made  with  evident 
reluctance. 

"  Her  condition  is  an  unusual  one,"  said  the 
doctor,  musing ;  and  he  resumed  his  examination 
of  the  case. 

"  Dr.  R — • — ,  from  Boston,  arrived  to-day  ;"  he 
looked  up,  and  presented  a  very  grave  face  to  the 
now  seriously  alarmed  husband.  "  I  think  he  had 
better  be  consulted." 


192     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  J  OK, 

"  Oh,  by  all  means,"  said  Mr.  Defter.  «  Shall  I 
go  in  search  of  him  ?" 

"  Do  you  know  kim  ?" 

«  I  do  not." 

"  I  will  .go  then.  It  may  save  time,  and  that  is 
important." 

The  doctor  went  out  hurriedly,  and  in  less  than 

five  minutes  returned  with  Doctor  R .  The  two 

physicians  conferred  for  some  time,  speaking  in 
under  tones.  Mr.  Dexter  heard  the  words  "  conges 
tion  of  the  brain "  and  "  brain  fever,"  with  in 
creasing  alarm. 

"  Well,  doctors,  how  do  you  decide  the  case?" 
he  inquired  anxiously,  as  their  conference  termi 
nated. 

"  There  is  a  strong  tendency  to  congestion  of  the 

brain,"  was  replied  by  Doctor  G ,  "  but,  it  is 

our  opinion  that  we  can  check  this  tendency.  Your 
wife,  Mr.  Dexter,  is  seriously  ill.  An  experienced 
nurse  must  be  had  without  delay.  And  every  pos 
sible  attention  given,  so  as  to  second  at  all  points 
the  treatment  under  which  she  will  be  placed.  A 
favorable  result  will  doubtless  crown  our  efforts.  '  I 
present  the  case  as  a  serious  one,  because  it  is  so  in 
its  requirement  of  skill  and  unfailing  attention." 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOSING.  193 

"  The  doctors  did  not  err  in  their  estimate  of  the 
case.  The  illness  of  Mrs.  Dexter  proved  to  be  very 
serious.  It  was  a  brain  fever.  Four  weeks  elapsed 
before  she  was  able  to  be  removed  from  Newport 
to  her  home,  and  then  she  was  so  feeble  in  body 
and  mind  as  to  present  but  the  shadowy  semblance 
of  her  former  self. 

Very  slowly  did  health  flow  back  through  her 
exhausted  system.  But  a  cheerful  mind  did  not 
come  with  returning  vigor.  Her  spirit  had  bowed 
itself  towards  the  earth ;  and  power  to  rise  again 
into  the  bracing  atmosphere  and  warm  sunshine, 
was  not  restored  for  a  long  period. 


194:     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART;  OE, 


CHAPTEK  XYI. 

AT  Albany,  Mr.  Hendrickson  found  Miss  Arden 
awaiting  him.  The  warmth  of  her  reception 
showed  that  he  was  more  in  her  eyes  than  a  plea 
sant  friend.  And  in  his  regard  she  held  the  highest 
place — save  one. 

The  meeting  with  Mrs.  Dexter  at  Newport  was 
unfortunate.  Hendrickson  had  looked  right  down 
into  her  heart ;  reading  a  page,  the  writing  on 
which  she  would  have  died  rather  than  have  re 
vealed.  Her  pure  regard  for  him  was  her  own 
deeply  hidden  secret.  It  was  a  lamp  burning  in 
the  sepulchre  of  buried  hope.  She  could  no  more 
extinguish  the  sacred  fire  than  quench  her  own  ex 
istence. 

But  thrown  suddenly  off  her  guard,  she  had 
betrayed  this  secret  to  unlawful  eyes.  Hendrick- 
son  had  read  it.  And  she  too  had  read  his  heart. 
After  the  lapse  of  more  than  a  year  they  had  met ; 
and  without  wrong  on  either  side  had  acknowledged 
a  mutual  inextinguishable  love. 


THE   LIFE-TKIALS   OF  JESSIE   LOKING.  195 

"  You  are  not  well,  Mr.  Henrickson."  Many 
times, -and  with  undisguised  concern,  was  this  said 
by  Miss  Arden,  during  the  journey  to  Niagara. 

"  Only  a  slight  headache  ;"  or,  "  I'm  well  enough, 
but  feel  dull ;"  or,  "  The  trip  from  Newport  fatigued 
me,"  would  be  answered,  and  an  effort  made  to  be 
more  companionable.  But  the  task  was  difficult, 
and  the  position  in  which  the  young  man  found 
himself  particularly  embarrassing.  His  thoughts 
were  not  with  Miss  Arden,  but  with  Mrs.  J)exter. 
Before  the  unexpected  meeting  at  Newport,  he  had 
believed  himself  so  far  released  from  that  entangle 
ment  of  the  heart,  as  to  be  free  to  make  honorable 
advances  to  Miss  Arden.  But  he  saw  his  error 
now.  With  him  marriage  was  something  more 
than  a  good  matrimonial  arrangement,  in  which 
parties  secure  external  advantages.  To  love  Miss 
Arden  better  than  any  othqr  living  woman,  he  now 
saw  to  be  impossible — and  unless  he  could  so  love 
her,  he  dared  not  marry  her.  That  was  risking  a 
great  deal  too  much.  His  position  became,  there 
fore,  an  embarrassing  one.  Her  brother  was  an 
old  friend.  They  had  been  college  companions. 
The  sister  he  had  known  for  some  years,  but  had 
lever  been  particularly  interested  in  her  until 


196     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART;  OK, 

within  a  few  months.  Distancing  his  observation, 
her  mind  had  matured  ;  and  the  graces  of  art,  edu 
cation  and  accomplishment,  had  thrown  their  win 
ning  attractions  around  her.  First,  almost  as  a 
brother,  he  began  to  feel  proud  of  her  beauty  and 
intelligence ;  admiration  followed,  and,  before  he 
was  aware  of  the  tendency  of  his  feelings,  they  had 
taken  on  a  warmer  than  fraternal  glow. 

All  things  tended  to  encourage  this  incipient  re 
gard  ;  ^nd,  as  Miss  Arden  herself  favored  it,  and 
ever  turned  towards  Hendrickson  the  sunniest  side 
of  her  character,  he  found  himself  drawn  onwards 
almost  imperceptibly ;  and  had  even  begun  to 
think  seriously  of  her  as  his  wife,  when  the  meet 
ing  with  Mrs.  Dexter  revealed  the  existence  of  sen 
timents  on  both  sides  that  gave  the  whole  subject  a 
new  aspect. 

A  very  difficult  problem  now  presented  itself  to 
the  mind  of  Mr.  Hendrickson,  involving  questions 
of  duty,  questions  of  honor,  and  questions  of  feeling. 
It  is  not  surprising  that  Miss  Arden  found  a  change 
in  her  travelling  companion,  nor  that  her  visit  to 
Kiagara  proved  altogether  unsatisfactory.  No  one 
could  have  been  kindlier,  more  attentive,  or  more 
studious  to  make  her  visit  attractive.  But  his  care- 


THE   LIFE-TKIALS    OF   JESSIE   LOBING.  197 

ful  avoidance.of  all  compliments,  and  the  absence 
of  every  thing  lover-like,  gave  her  heart  the  alarm. 
It  was  in  vain  that  she  put  forth  every  chaste, 
womanly  allurement;  his  eyes  did  not  brighten, 
nor  his  cheeks  glow,  nor  his  tones  become  warmer. 
He  was  not  to  be  driven  from  the  citadel  of  his 
honor.  A  weaker,  more  selfish,  and  more  external 
man,  would  have  yielded.  But  Hendrickson,  like 
the  woman  he  had  lost,  was  not  made  of  "  common 
clay,"  nor  cast  in  any  of  humanity's  ruder  moulds. 
He  was  of  purer  essence  and  higher  spiritual 
organization  than  the  masses ;  and  principle  had 
now  quite  as  much  to  do  with  his  actions  as  feeling. 
He  could  be  a  martyr,  but  not  a  villain. 

Two  days  were  spent  at  Niagara,  and  then 
Hendrickson  and  Miss  Arden  returned,  and  went 
to  Saratoga.  It  did  not,  of  course,  escape  the  notice 
of  Hendrickson,  that  his  manner  to  his  travelling 
companion  was  effecting  a  steady  change  in  her 
spirits ;  and  he  was  not  lacking  in  perception  as  to 
the  cause.  It  revealed  to  him  the  sincerity  of  her 
regard  ;  but  added  to  the  pain  from  which  he  was 
suffering,  increasing  it  almost  to  the  point  where 
endurance  fails. 

It  was  a  relief  to  Hendrickson  when  he  was  able 


198     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART',  OR, 

to  place  Miss  Arden  under  the  care  of  her  mother, 
who  had  remained  at  Saratoga.  On  the  evening 
after  his  arrival,  he  was  sitting  alone  in  one  of  the 
drawing-rooms,  when  a  lady  crossed  from  the  other 
side,  and  joined  another  lady  near  him. 

"  Mrs.  De  Lisle,"  said  the  latter,  as  she  arose. 

"  Good  evening,  Mrs.  Anthony  !"  and  the  ladies 
sat  down  together.* 

"I  have  just  received  a  sad  letter  from  New 
port,"  said  Mrs.  De  Lisle. 

"  Indeed !     "What  has  happened  there  ?" 

"  Our  sweet  young  friend  is  dangerously  ill." 

"Who?     Mrs.  Dexter?" 

"Yes." 

"  Mrs.  De  Lisle  !  She  was  in  perfect  health,  to 
all  appearance,  when  she  left  here." 

"So  I  thought.  But  she  has  suddenly  been 
stricken  down  with  a  brain  fever,  and  her  physi 
cians  regard  her  condition  as  most  critical." 

"  You  distress  me  beyond  measure  !"  said  Mrs. 
Anthony. 

"  My  friend  writes  that  three  physicians  are  in 
attendance ;  and  that  they  report  her  case  as 
dangerous  in  the  extreme.  I  did  not  intend  going 
there  until  next  week,  but.  unless  my  husband 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOKING.  199 

strongly  objects,  I  will  leave  to-morrow.  Good 
nursing  is  quite  as  essential  as  medical  skill." 

"  Go,  by  all  means,  if  you  can,"  replied  Mrs. 
Anthony.  "Dear  child!  I 'shouldn't  wonder  if 
that  jealous  husband  of  hers  had  done  something  to 
induce  this  attack.  Brain  fever  don't  come  on 
without  mental  excitement  of  some  kind.  I  can't 
bear  him  ;  and  I.  believe,  if  the  truth  were  known, 
it  would  be  found  that  she  hates  the  very  sight  of 
him.  He's  a  man  made  of  money ;  and  that's  saying 
the  best  that  can  be  said.  As  to  qualities  of  the 
mind  and  heart,  she  ranks,  in  everything,  his  su 
perior.  What  a  sacrifice  of  all  that  such  a  woman 
holds  dear  must  have  been  made  when  she  consent 
ed  to  become  the  wedded  wife  of  Leon  Dexter  !" 

Hendrickson  heard  no  more,  for  a  third  party 
coming  up  at  the  moment,  led  to  a  change  in  the 
conversation.  At  the  same  instant  Mrs.  Arden 
and  her  daughter  entered  the  room,  and  he  arose 
and  stepped  forward  to  meet  them. 

"-How  pale  you  look,  Mr.  Hendrickson !"  said 
Mrs.  Arden,  with  concern.  "  Are  you  not  well?" 

"I  have  not  felt  as  bright  as  usual,  for  some 
days,"  he  answered,  trying  to  force  a  smile,  but 
without  success.  "  Your  daughter  has,  no  doubt, 


200     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART;  OB, 

already  informed  you  that  I  proved  myself  one  of 
the  dullest  of  travelling  companions." 

"  Oh,  no."  Miss  Arden  spoke  up  quickly.  "  Ma 
knows  that  I  gave  you  credit  for  being  exceedingly 
agreeable.  But,  indeed,  Mr.  Hendrickson,  you 
look  ill." 

"  I  am  slightly  indisposed,"  he  answered,  "  and 
with  your  leave  will  retire  to  my  room.  I  shall 
feel  better  after  lying  down." 

"Go  by  all  means,"  said  Mrs.  Arden. 

Hendrickson  bowed  low,  and,  passing  them,  left 
the  parlor  almost  hurriedly. 

"Dangerously  ill!  A  brain  fever!"  he  said 
aloud,  as  he  gained  his  own  apartment  and  shut  the 
door  behind  him.  He  was  deeply  disturbed. 
That  their  unexpected  meeting  had  something  to 
do  with  this  sudden  sickness  he  now  felt  sure.  Her 
strong,  though  quickly  controlled  agitation  he  had 
seen ;  it  was  a  revelation  never,  to  be  forgotten ; 
and  showed  the  existence  of  a  state  of  feeling  in  re 
gard  to  her  husband  which  must  render  her  very 
existence  a  burden.  That  she  was  closely  watched, 
he  had  seen,  as  well  as  heard.  And  it  did  not  ap 
pear  to  him  improbable,  considering  the  spirit  he 
had  observed  h«r  display,  that  coincident  with  his 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF  JESSIE   LOKING.  201 

departure  from  Newport,  some  jealous  accusations 
had  been  made,  half  maddening  her  spirit,  and 
stunning  her  brain  with  excitement. 

"  Angel  in  the  keeping  of  a  fiend  !"  he  exclaimed, 
as  imagination  drew  improbable  scenes  of  persecu 
tion.  "  How  my  heart  aches  for  you — yearns  to 
wards  you — longs  for  the  dear  privilege  of  making 
all  your  paths  smooth  and  fragrant ;  all  your  hours 
golden-winged  ;  all  your  states  peaceful !  How 
precious  you  are  to  me !  Precious  as  my  own  soul 
— dear  counterpart !  loving  complement !  Yain, 
as  your  own  strife  with  yourself,  has  been  my  strife. 
The  burden  has  been  too  heavy  for  us ;  the  ordeal 
too  fiery.  My  brain  grows  wild  at  thought  of  this 
terrible  wrong." 

The  image  of  Miss  Arden  flitted  before  him. 

"  Beautiful — loving — pure !"  he  said,  "  I  might 
win  you  for  my  bride  ;  but  will  not  so  wrong  you 
as  to  offer  a  divided  heart.  All  things  forbid !" 

Mr.  Hendrickson  did  not  leave  his  room  that  even 
ing.  At  ten  o'clock  a  servant  knocked  at  his  door. 
Mrs.  Arden  had  sent  her  compliments,  and  desired 
to  know  if  he  were  better  than  when  he  left  her  ? 

"Much  better,"  he  answered;  and  the  servant 
departed. 

9* 


202     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  ;  OK, 

Midnight  found  him  still  in  strife  with  himself. 
Now  he  walked  the  floor  in  visible  agitation  ;  and 
now  sat  motionless,  with  head  bowed,  and  arms 
folded  across  his  bosom.  The  impression  of  sleep 
was  far  from  his  overwrought  brain.  One  thing 
he  decided,  and  that  was  to  leave  Saratoga  by  the 
earliest  morning  train,  and  go  with  all  possible 
haste  to  Newport.  Suspense  in  regard  to  Mrs.  Dex 
ter  he  felt  it  would  be  impossible  for  him  to  bear. 

"  But  what  right  have  you  to  take  all  this  interest 
in  a  woman  who  is  another's  lawful  wife  ?"  he  asked, 
in  the  effort  to  stem  the  tide  of  his  feelings. 

"  I  will  not  stop  to  debate  questions  of  right,"  so 
he  answered  within  his  own  thoughts.  "She  is  the 
wife  of  another,  and  I  would  die  rather  than  stain 
her  pure  escutcheon  with  a  thought  of  dishonor.  I 
cease  to  love  her  when  I  imagine  her  capable  of 
being  false,  in  even  the  smallest  act,  to  her  marriage 
vows.  But  .the  right  to  love,  Heaven  gave  me 
when  my  soul  was  created  to  make  one  with  hers. 
I  will  keep  myself  pure  that  I  may  remain  worthy 
of  her." 

On  the  evening  of  the  next  day  Hendrickson 
arrived  at  Newport.  Almost  the  first  man  he 
encountered  was  Dexter. 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS    OF   JESSIE    LOEING.  203 

"  How  is  Mrs.  Dexter  ?"  he  as^ed,  forgetting  in 
his  anxiety  and  suspense  the  relation  he  bore  to 
this  man.  His  eager  inquiry  met  a  cold  response 
accompanied  by  a  scowl. 

"  I  am  not  aware  that  you  have  any  particular 
interest  in  Mrs.  Dexter  !" 

And  the  angry  husband  turned  from  him  ab 
ruptly. 

"  How  unfortunate  !"  Hendrickson  said  to  him 
self  as  he  passed. 

At  the  office  he  put  the  same  inquiry. 

"  Yery  ill,"  was  the  answer.      » 

"  Is  she  thought  to  be  dangerous  ?" 

"I  believe  so." 

Beyond  this  he  gained  no  further  intelligence 
from  the  clerk.  A  little  while  afterwards  he  saw 
Mrs.  Florence  in  one  of  the  parlors,  and  joined  her 
immediately.  From  her  he  learned  that  Mrs.  Dex 
ter  remained  wholly  unconscious,  but  that  the  phy 
sicians  regarded  her  symptoms  as  favorable. 

"  Do  they  think  her  out  of  danger  ?"  he  asked, 
with  more  interest  in  his  manner  than  he  wished  to 
betray. 

"  Yes." 

He  could  scarcely  withhold  an  exclamation. 


20i     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  \  OR, 

"  What  do  you  think,  madam  ?"  he  inquired. 

"  I  cannot  see  deeper  than  a  physician,"  she  ans 
wered.  "  But  my  observation  does  not  in  anything 
gainsay  the  opinion  which  has  been  expressed.  I 
am  encouraged  to  hope  for  recovery." 

"  Do  you  remain  here  any  time  ?" 

"  I  shall  not  leave  until  I  see  Mrs.  Dexter  on  the 
safe  side  and  in  good  hands,"  was  replied. 

"  Have  you  heard  any  reason  assigned  for  this 
fearful  attack  ?"  inquired  Hendrickson. 

Mrs.  Florence  shook  her  head. 

Not  caring  to  manifest  an  interest  in  Mrs.  Dex 
ter  that  might  attract  attention,  or  occasion  com 
ment,  Hendrickson  dropped  the  subject.  During 
the  evening  he  threw  himself  in  the  way  of  the 
physician,  and  gathered  all  he  desired  to  know  from 
him.  The  report  was  so  favorable  that  he  deter 
mined  to  leave  Newport  by  the  midnight  boat  for 
New  York  and  return  home,  which  he  accordingly 
did. 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOSING.  205 


CHAPTER  XVII. 

THE  season  at  Newport  closed,  and  the  summer 
birds  of  fashion  flitted  away.  But  Mrs.  Dexter 
still  remained,  and  in  a  feeble  condition.  It  was  as 
late  as  November  before  the  physician  in  atten 
dance  would  consent  to  her  removal.  She  was  then 
taken  home,  but  so  changed  that  even  her  nearest 
friends  failed  to  recognize  in  her  wan,  sad,  dreary 
face,  anything  of  its  old  expression. 

No  man  could  have  been  kinder — no  man  could 
have  lavished  warmer  attentions  on  another  than 
were  lavished  on  his  wife  by  Mr.  Dexter.  With 
love-like  assiduity,  he  sought  to  awaken  her  feel 
ings  to  some  interest  in  life ;  not  tiring,  though  she 
remained  as  coldly  passive  as  marble.  But  she 
gave  him  back  no  sign.  There  was  neither  self- 
will,  perverseness,  nor  antagonism,  in  this ;  but  par 
alysis  instead.  Emotion  had  died. 

It  was  Christmas  before  Mrs.  Dexter  left  her 
room — and  then  she  was  so  weak  as  to  need  a  sup- 


206     TUB  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT  J  OK, 

porting  arm.  Tonics  only  were  administered  by 
her  physician  ;  but  if  they  acted  at  all,  it  was  so 
feebly  that  scarcely  any  good  result  appeared.  The 
cause  of  weakness  lay  far  beyond  the  reach  of  his 
medicines. 

With  the  slow  return  of  bodily  strength  and 
mental  activity,  was  developed  in  the  mind  of  Mrs. 
Dexter  a  feeling  of  repugnance  to  her  husband  that 
went  on  increasing.  She  did  not  struggle  against 
this  feeling,  because  she  knew,  by  instinct,  that  all 
resistance  would  be  vain.  It  was  something  over 
which  she  could  not  possibly  have  control ;  the  stern 
protest  of  nature  against  an  alliance  unblessed  by 
love. 

One,  day,  during  mid-winter,  her  best  friend, 
Mrs.  De  Lisle,  in  making  one  of  her  usual  visits, 
found  her  sitting  alone,  and  in  tears.  It  was  the 
first  sign  of  struggling  emotion  that  she  had  yet 
seen,  and  she  gladly  recognized  the  tokens  of 
returning  life. 

"Showers  for  the  heart,"  she  said,  almost  smiling, 
as  she  kissed  the  pale  invalid.  "  May  the  green 
grass  and  the  sweet  smiling  violets  soon  ap 
pear." 

Mrs.  Dexter   did  not  reply,  but  with  unusual 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF  JESSIE   LOSING.  207 

signs  of  feeling,  hid  her  face  in  the  garments  of  her 
friend. 

"  How  are  you  to-day  ?"  asked  Mrs.  De  Lisle, 
after  she  had  given  time  for  emotion  to  subside. 

"  About  as  usual,"  was  answered,  and  Mrs. 
Dexter  looked  with  regaining  calmness  into  her 
face.  • 

"  I  have  not  seen  you  so  disturbed  for  weeks," 
said  Mrs.  De  Lisle. 

"  I  have  not  felt  so  wild  a  strife  in  my  soul  for 
months,"  was  answered.  "Oh,  that  I  could  die! 
It  was  this  prayer  that  unlocked  the  long  closed 
fountain  of  tears." . 

"  With  God  are  the  issues  of  life,"  said  Mrs.  De 
Lisle.  "  We  must  each  of  us  wait  His  good  time — 
patiently,  hopefully,  self-denyingly  wait." 

"  I  know !  I  know  !"  replied  Mrs.  Dexter.  "  But 
I  cannot  look  along  the  way  that  lies  before  me 
without  a  shudder.  The  path  is  too  difficult." 

"  You  will  surely  receive  strength." 

"  I  would  rather  die !"  A  slight  convulsion  ran 
through  her  frame. 

"  Don't  look  into  the  future,  dear  young  friend  ! 
Only  to-day's  duties  are  required ;  and  strength  ever 
comes  with  the  duty." 


208     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  J  OK, 

"  Not  even  God  can  give  strength  for  mine,"  said 
Mrs.  Dexter,  almost  wildly. 

"  Hush !  hush  !  the  thought  is  impious  !"  Mrs.  De 
Lisle  spoke  in  warning  tones. 

"  Not  impious,  but  true.  God  did  not  lay  these 
heavy  burdens  on  me.  My  own  hands  placed  them 
there.  If  I  drag  a  pillar  down  upon  myself,  will 
God  make  my  bones  iron  so  that  they  shall  not  be 
broken  ?"  No,  Mrs.  De  Lisle  ;  there  is  only  one 
hope  for  me,  and  that  is  in  death  ;  and  I  pray  for  it 
daily." 

"  You  state  the  case  too  strongly,"  said  Mrs.  De 
Lisle.  "  God  prevides  as  well  as  provides.  His 
providence  determining  what  is  best  for  us ;  and 
His  previdence  counteracts  our  ignorance,  self-will, 
or  evil  purposes,  and  saves  us  from  the  destruction 
we  would  blindly  meet.  He  never  permits  any  act 
in  His  creatures,  for  which  He  does  not  previde  an 
agency  that  turns  the  evil  that  would  follow  into 
good.  Your  case  is  parallel  to  thousands.  As  a 
!  free  woman,  you  took  this  most  important  step. 
God  could  not  have  prevented  it  without  destroy 
ing  that  freedom  which  constitues  your  individu 
ality,  and  makes  you  a  recipient  of  life  from  Him. 
But  He  can  sustain  you  in  the  duties  and  trials 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF  JESSIE   LOKING.  209 

you  have  assumed  ;  and  He  will  do  it,  if  you  per 
mit  Him  to  substitute  His  divine  strength  for  your 
human  weakness.  In  all  trial,  affliction,  calamity, 
suffering,  there  is  a  germ  of  angelic  life.  It  is 
through  much  tribulation  that  the  Kingdom  of 
Heaven  is  gained.  Some  spirits  require  intenser 
fires  for  purification  than  others ;  and  yours  may  be 
of  this  genus.  God  is  the  refiner  and  the  purifier  ; 
and  He  will  not  suffer  any  of  the  gold  and  silver  to 
bo  lost.  Dear  friend  !  do  not  shrink  away  from  the 
ordeal." 

"  I  am  not  strong  enough  yet."  It  was  all  the 
reply  Mrs.  Dexter  made.  Her  voice  was  mourn 
ful  in  the  extreme. 

"  Wait  for  strength.  As  your  day  is,  so  shall  it 
be." 

Mrs.  Dexter  shook  her  head. 

"  What  more  can  I  say  ?"  Mrs.  De  Lisle  spoke 
almost  sadly,  for  she  could  not  see  that  her 
earnestly  spoken  counsel  had  wrought  any  good 
effect. 

"  Nothing !  nothing  !  dear  friend !"  answered 
Mrs.  Dexter,  still  very  mournfully.  " 

A  little  while  she  was  silent ;  and  seemed  in  de 
bate  with  herself.  At  length  she  said — 


210     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  ;  OE, 

"  Dear  Mrs.  De  Lisle  !  To  you  I  have  unveiled 
my  heart  more  than  to  any  other  human  being. 
And  I  am  constrained  to  draw  the  veil  a  little 
farther  aside.  To  speak  will  give  relief ;  and  as 
you  are  wiser,  help  may  come.  At  Saratoga,  I 
confided  to  you  something  on  that  most  delicate  of 
all  subjects,  my  feelings  towards  my  husband.  I 
have  yet  more  to  say  !  Shall  I  go  farther  in  these. 
painful,  almost  forbidden  revelations  ?" 

"  Say  on,"  was  the  answer,  "  I  shall  listen  with 
no  vain  curiosity." 

"I  am  conscious,"  Mrs.  Dexter  began,  "  of  a 
new  feeling  towards  my  husband.  I  call  it  new, 
for,  if  only  the  fuller  development  of  an  old  im 
pression,  it  has  all  the  vividness  of  a  new-born 
emotion.  Before  my  illness,  I  saw  many  things  in 
him  to  which  I  could  attach  myself;  and  I  was 
successful,  in  a  great  measure,  in  depressing  what 
was  repellant,  and  in  magnifying  the  attractive. 
But  now  I  seem  to  have  been  gifted  with  a  faculty 
of  sight  that  enables  me  to  look  through  the  sur 
face  as  if  it  were  only  transparent  glass  ;  and  I  see 
qualities,  dispositions,  affections,  and  tendencies, 
against  which  all  my  soul  revolts.  I  do  not  say 
that  they  are  evil ;  but  they  are  all  of  the  earth 


THE   LIFE-TEIALS   OF   JESSIE   LORING.  211 

earthy.  Nor  do  I  claim  to  be  purer  and  better 
than  he  is — only  so  different,  that  I  prefer  death  to 
union.  It  is  in  vain  to  struggle  against  my  feel 
ings,  and  I  have  ceased  to  struggle." 

"  You  are  still  weak  in  body  and  mind,"  an 
swered  Mrs.  De  Lisle.  "  All  the  pulses  of  returning 
life  are  feeble.  Do  not  attempt  this  struggle  now." 

"  It  must  be  now,  or  never,"  was  returned. 
"  The  current  is  bearing  me  away.  A  little  while, 
and  the  most  agonizing  strife  with  wave  and  tem 
pest  will  prove  of  no  avail." 

"  Look  aloft,  dear  friend !  Look  aloft !"  said 
Mrs.  De  Lisle.  "  Do  not  listen  to  the  maddening 
dash  of  waters  below,  nor  gaze  at  the  shuddering 
bark;  but  upwards,  upwards,  through  cloud-rifts, 
into  heaven!" 

"  I  have  tried  to  look  upwards — I  have  looked 
upwards — but  the  sight  of  heaven  only  makes  earth 
more  terrible  by  contrast." 

"  Who  have  washed  their  robes  and  made  them 
white  in  the  blood  of  the  Lamb  ?"  asked  Mrs.  De 
Lisle,  in  a  deep,  earnest  voice.  A  pause,  and  then 
— "  They  who  have  come  up  through  great  tribula 
tion  !  Think  of  this,  dear  friend.  Heaven  may  be 
beautiful  in  your  eyes,  but  the  way  to  heaven  is  by 


212     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT  ;  OB, 

earthly  paths.  You  cannot  get  there,  except  by  the 
way  of  duty ;  and  your  duty  is  not  to  turn  away 
from,  but  to  your  husband,  in  the  fulfillment  of 
your  marriage  vows — to  the  letter.  I  say  nothing 
of  the  spirit,  but  the  letter  of  this  law  you  must 
keep.  Mr.  Dexter  is  not  an  evil-minded  man.  He 
is  a  good  citizen,  and  desires  to  be  a  good  husband. 
His  life,  to  the  world,  is  irreproachable.  The  want 
of  harmony  in  taste,  feeling  and  character,  is  no 
reason  for  disseverance.  You  cannot  leave  him, 
and  be  guiltless  in  the  eyes  of  God  or  man."  • 

"I  did  not  speak  of  leaving  him,"  said  Mrs. 
Dexter,  looking  up  strangely  into  the  face  of  Mrs. 
De  Lisle. 

"But  you  have  thought  of  it,"  was  answered. 
A  flush  dyed  the  pale  face  of  Mrs.  Dexter.  "  Oh, 
my  friend,  beware  of  evil  counsellors !  Mrs. 
Anthony  " — — 

"  Has  never  looked  into  my  heart.  It  is  shut 
and  fastened  with  clasps  of  iron  when  she  is  near," 
returned  Mrs.  Dexter. 

"  The  presence  of  such  a  woman  suggests  rebel- 
lion,"  said  Mrs.  De  Lisle  ;  "  her  thoughts  are  com 
municated  by  another  way  than  speech.  Is  it 
not  so  ?" 


THE   LIFE-TEIAL8   OF   JESSIE   LOEING.  213 

"  Perhaps  it  is.  I  feel  the  spirit  of  antagonism 
rising  whenever  I  am  with  her.  I  grow  restive — 
impatient  of  these  bonds — indignant  towards  my 
husband ;  though  the  subject  is  never  mentioned." 

"  Be  on  your  guard  against  her,  my  young 
friend.  Her  principles  are  not  religiously  sound. 
This  I  say  to  you,  because  duty  requires  me  to  say 
it.  Placed  in  your  position,  and  with  your  feelings 
towards  her  husband,  if  no  personal  and  selfish 
consideration  came  in  to  restrain  her,  she  would 
not  hesitate  at  separation — nay,  I  fear,  not  even  at 
a  guilty  compact  with  another." 

"  You  shock  me !"  said  Mrs.  Dexter. 

"  I  speak  to  you  my  real  sentiments ;  and  in 
warning.  In  your  present  state  of  mind,  be  very 
reserved  towards  her.  You"  are  not  strong  enough 
to  meet  her  quick  intelligence,  nor  able  to  guard 
yourself  against  her  subtle  insinuations.  When 
was  she  here  last  ?" 

A  sudden  thought  prompted  the  question. 

"  She  left  just  before  you  came  in,"  answered 
Mrs.  Dexter. 

"  And  your  mind  has  been  disturbed,  not  tran 
quillized,  by  her  visit  ?" 

"I  am  disturbed,  as  you  see." 


214     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART;  OK, 

"On  what  subject  did  she  speak?"  asked  Mrs. 
De  Lisle. 

"  You  know  her  usual  theme  ?" 

"  Inharmonious  marriages  ?" 

"Yes." 

"  I  do  not  wonder  that  you  were  disturbed. 
How  could  it  be  otherwise  ?" 

"  She  gives  utterance  to  many  truths,"  said  Mrs. 
Dexter. 

"  But  even  truth  may  be  so  spoken  as  to  have 
all  the  evil  effect  of  error,"  was  promptly  answered. 

"  Can  truth  ever  do  harm  ?  Is  it  not  the  mind's 
light  ?  Truth  shows  us  the  way  in  which  we  may 
walk  safely,"  said  Mrs.  Dexter,  with  some  earnest 
ness  of  manner. 

"  Light,  by  which  £he  eye  sees,  will  become  a 
minister  of  destruction,  if  the  eye  is  inflamed.  A 
mind  diseased  cannot  bear  strong  gleams  of  truth. 
They  will  blind  and  deceive,  rather  than  illustrate. 
The  rays  must  be  softened.  Of  the  many  truths  to 
which  Mrs.  Anthony  gave  utterance  this  morning, 
which  most  affected  your  mind  ?" 

"  She  spoke,"  said  Mrs.  Dexter,  after  a  little  re 
flection,  "  of  natural  affinities  and  repulsions, 
which  take  on  sometimes  the  extreme  condition  of 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OP   JESSIE   LORING.  215 

idiosyncrasies.  Of  conjunctions  of  soul  in  true 
marriages,  and  of  disjunction  and  disgust  where  no 
true  marriage  exists." 

"  Did  she  explain  what  she  understood  by  a  true 
marriage  ?"  asked  Mrs.  De  Lisle. 

"  I  do  not  remember  any  formal  explanation. 
But  her  meaning  was  obvious." 

"  What,  then,  did  she  mean  ?" 

A  little  while  Mrs.  Dexter  thought,  and  then 
answered — 

"  She  thinks  that  men  and  women  are  born  part 
ners,  and  that  only  they  who  are  fortunate  enough 
to  meet  are  ever  happy  in  marriage — are,  in  fact, 
really  married." 

"  How  is  a  woman  to  know  that  she  is  rightly 
mated  ?"  asked  Mrs.  De  Lisle. 

"  By  the  law  of  affinities.  The  instincts  of  our 
nature  are  never  at  fault." 

"So  the  thief  who  steals  your  watch  will  say. 
The  instincts  of  his  nature  all  prompted  to  the  act. 
If  our  lives  were  orderly  as  in  the  beginning,  Mrs. 
Dexter,  we  might  safely  follow  the  soul's  unerring 
instincts.  But,  unfortunately,  this  is  not  the  case  ; 
and  instinct  needs  the  law  of  revelation  and  the  law 
of  reason  for  its  guide." 


216     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  ;  OK, 

"  You  believe  in  true,  interior  marriages  ?"  said 
Mrs.  Dexter. 

"  Yes,  marriages  for  eternity." 

"  And  that  they  are  made  here  ?" 

Mrs.  De  Lisle  did  not  answer  immediately. 

"  The  preparation  for  eternal  marriage  is  here," 
she  said,  speaking  thoughtfully. 

Mrs.  Dexter  looked  at  her  like  one  in  doubt  as 
to  the  meaning  of  what  she  heard.  She  then 
said: 

"  In  a  true  marriage,  souls  must  conjoin  by  vir 
tue  of  an  original  affinity.  In  a  word,  the  male 
and  the  female  must  be  born  for  each  other." 

"  There  are  a  great  many  vague  notions  afloat  on 
this  subject,"  said  Mrs.  De  Lisle ;  "  and  a  great  deal 
of  flippant  talk.  If  there  are  men  and  women  born 
for  each  other,  one  thing  is  very  certain,  both  need 
a  great  deal  of  alteration  before  they  can  unite  per 
fectly  ;  and  the  trial  will,  in  most  cases,  not  so  fully 
prove  this  theory  of  quality  in  sexual  creation  as 
you  might  suppose.  '  Behold,  I  was  shapen  in  ini 
quity  !'  If  this  were  not  true  of  every  one,  there 
might  be  a  little  more  hope  for  happiness  in  mar 
riage.  Let  us  imagine  the  union  of  two  persons, 
born  with  that  original  conjoining  affinity  of  which 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS    OF   JESSIE    LORING.  217 

you  speak — and  the  existence  of  which  I  do  not  deny. 
We  will  suppose  that  the  man  inherits  from  his  an 
cestors  certain  evil  and  selfish  qualities  ;  and  that  the 
woman  inherits  from  her  ancestors  certain  evil  and 
selfish  qualities  also.  They  marry  young,  and  before 
either  is  disciplined  by  right  principle,  or  regener 
ated  by  Divine  truth.  Now,  this  being  the  case,  do 
you  suppose  that,  in  the  beginning,  their  pulses  will 
beat  in  perfect  harmony  ?  That  there  will  be  no 
jarring  in  the  machinery  of  their  lives  ?" 

Mrs.  De  Lisle  paused,  but  received  no  answer. 

"  In  just  the  degree,"  she  continued,  "  that  each 
is  selfish,  and  fails  to  repress  that  selfishness,  will 
the  other  suffer  pain  or  feel  repulsion  ?  And  they 
will  not  come  into  the  true  accordance  of  their 
lives  until  both  are  purified  through  a  denial  of 
self,  and  an  elevation  of  the  spiritual  above  the 
natural.  For  it  is  in  the  spiritual  plane  where 
true  marriages  take  place ;  and  only  with  those 
who  are  regenerated.  All  that  goes  before  is  pre 
paration." 

Mrs.  Dexter  continued  looking  earnestly  into  the 
face  of  Mrs.  De  Lisle. 

"  Does  your  thought  follow  me  ?"  asked  the  latter. 

"Yes,"  was  all  the  answer. 
10 


218     THE  HAND  EOT  NOT  THE  HEART ;  OE, 

"  If  true  marriages  are  for  eternity,  each  of  the 
partners  must  be  born  into  spiritual  life ;  and  that 
birth  is  always  with  pain.  The  husband,  instead 
of  being  a  mere  natural  and  selfish  man,  must  be  a 
lover  of  higher  and  purer  things.  He  must  be  a 
seeker  after  Divine  intelligence,  that  he  may  be 
lifted  with  wisdom  coining  from  the  infinite  Source 
of  wisdom.  And  the  wife,  elevating  her  affections 
through  self-denial  and  repression  of  the  natural, 
must  acquire  a  love  for  the  spiritual  wisdom  of  her 
husband  before  her  soul  can  make  one  with  his. 
Do  you  comprehend  this?" 

"  Dimly.  He  must  be  wise  in  heavenly  love ; 
and  she  a  lover  of  heavenly  wisdom.1' 

"  There  must  be  something  more,"  said  Mrs.  De 
Lisle. 

"  What  more  ?" 

"  'No  two  masculine  souls  are  alike,  and  heavenly 
wisdom  is  infinite.  ,  The  finite  mind  receives  only 
a  portion  of  the  Divine  intelligence.  Each,  there 
fore,  is  in  the  love  of  growing  wise  in  a  certain  de 
gree  or  direction.  The  feminine  soul,  to  make  con 
junction  perfect,  must  be  a  lover  of  wisdom  in  that 
degree,  or  direction." 

"You  bewilder  me,"  said  Mrs.  Dexter. 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOBING.  219 

"Let  me  rather  enlighten.  The  great  truth  I 
wish  to  make  clear  to  you  is  that  there  can  be  no 
marriage  in  the  higher  sense  without  spiritual  re 
generation.  By  nature  we  are  evil — that  is  selfish  ; 
for  self  love  is  the  very  essence  of  all  evil — and" 
until  heavenly  life  is  born  in  us  there  can  be  no  in 
terior  marriage  conjunction.  It  is  possible,  then — 
and  I  want  you  to  look  the  proposition  fairly  in  the 
face — for  two  who  are  created  for  each  other,  to 
live  very  unhappily  together  during  the  first  years 
of  their  married  life.  Do  you  ask  why?  Because 
both  are  selfish  by  nature ;  and  self  seeks  its  own 
delight.  I  have  sometimes  thought,"  continued 
Mrs.  De"Lisle,  "in  pondering  this  subject,  that 
those  who  are  born  for  each  other  are  not  often 
permitted  to  struggle  together  in  painful  antagonism 
during  the  stern  ordeals  through  which  so  many 
have  to  pass  ere  self  is  subdued,  and  the  fires  of 
Divine  love  kindled  on  the  heart's  altars." 

"  Meeting  life's  discipline  apart,  or  in  strife  with 
an  alien,"  said  Mrs.  Dexter. 

"  As  you  will.  But  the  lesson,  I  trust,  is  clear. 
Only  they  who  bear  the  cross  can  wear  the  crown. 
The  robes  must  be  made  white  in  the  blood  of  the 
Lamb.  And  now,  dear  friend !  if  you  would  be 


220     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  J  OK, 

worthy  of  an  eternal  marriage,  take  up  your  cross. 
If  there  is  a  noble,  manly  soul  to  which  you  would 
be  conjoined  forever,  set  earnestly  about  the  task 
of  preparation  for  that  union.  The  wedding  gar 
ment  must  be  wrought;  the  lamps  trimmed  and 
burning.  Not  in  neglect  of  duty  ;  not  in  weak  re- 
pinings,  or  helpless  despondency  is  this  work  done ; 
but  in  daily  duty.  The  soul  of  your  husband  is 
precious  in  the  eyes  of  God  as  youi*  own.  Never 
forget  this.  And  it  may  be  a  part  of  your  heaven- 
assigned  work — nay,  is — to  help  him  to  rise  into  a 
higher  life.  May  you  grow  angel-minded  in  the 
good  work!" 

"  How  tranquil  I  have  become,"  said  Mrs.  Dex 
ter,  a  little  while  afterwards.  u  The  heavy  pres 
sure  on  heart  and  brain  is  removed." 

"  You  have  not  been  thinking  of  yourself ;  and 
that  has  brought  a  change  in  your  state  of  .feeling. 
Cease  to  struggle  in  your  bonds  ;  but  rise  up  and  go 
forward  with  brave  heart,  and  be  true  as  steel  to  all 
your  obligations.  The  way  may  look  dark,  the  bur 
dens  heavy  ;  but  fear  not.  Move  on,  and  Divine  light 
will  fall  upon  your  path ;  stoop  to  the  burden,  and 
Divine  strength  will  be  given.  So  I  counsel  you, 
dear  sister !  And  I  pray  you  heed  the  counsel.1' 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF  JESSIE   LOEING.  221 


CHAPTER  XVIII. 

ON  the  day  after  the  interview  with  Mrs.  De 
Lisle,  Mrs.  Dexter,  whose  mind  had  been  lifted 
quite  above  its  morbid  state,  was  sitting  alone  at 
one  of  the  parlor  windows.  She  had  been  noting, 
with  curious  interest,  the  types  of  character  in  faces 
that  met  her  eyes,  and  then  disappeared  to  give 
place  to  others  as  singularly  varied,  when  a  new 
countenance,  on  which  her  eyes  fell,  lighted  up 
suddenly.  It  was  that  of  Hendrickson,  whom  she 
had  not  seen  since  their  parting  at  Newport.  He 
paused,  lifted  his  hat,  bowed  and  went  on.  It  was 
no  cold,  formal  recognition ;  but  one  full  of  earnest 
life,  and  warm  with  sudden  feeling.  Mrs.  Dexter 
was  conscious  of  a  quick  heart-throb  that  sent  a 
glow  to  her  pale  cheeks. 

Unfortunate  coincidence !  The  next  face,  pre 
senting  itself  almost  in  the  same  instant  of  time, 
was  that  of  her  husband.  It  was  full  two  hours 
earlier  than  the  period  of  his  usual  return  home. 


222     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT ;  OK, 

He  had  seen  the  expression  of  Hendftckson's  coun 
tenance  ;  and  also  the  responsive  change  in  that 
of  his  wife.  At  once  it  occurred  to  him  that  an 
understanding  had  been  established  between  him 
and  Mrs.  Dexter,  and  that  this  was  the  beginning 
of  a  series  of  interviews,  to  be  carried  on  during 
his  absence.  Mr.  Dexter  was  an  impulsive  man. 
Without  giving  himself  time  for  reflection,  he  strode 
into  the  parlor,  arid  said  with  a  cutting  sneer — 

"  You  have  your  own  entertainments,  I  see,  in 
your  husband's  absence.  But " —  and  his  manner 
grew  stern,  while  his  tones  were  threatening,  "you 
must  not  forget  that  we  are  in  America  and  not 
Paris ;  and  that  I  am  an  American,  and  not  a 
French  husband.  You  are  going  a  step  too  far, 
madam !" 

Too  much  confounded  for  speech,  Mrs.  Dexter, 
into  whose  face  the  blood  had  rushed,  dying  it  to 
a  deep  crimson,  sat  looking  at  her  husband,  an  im 
age,  in  his  eyes,  of  guilt  confessed. 

"  I  warn  you,"  he  added,  "  not  to  presume  on 
me  in  this  direction  !  And  I  further  warn  you, 
that  if  I  ever  catch  that  scoundrel  in  my  house, 
or  in  your  company,  I  will  shoot  him  down  like  a 
dog !" 


THE   LIFE-TKIALS    OF    JESSIE    LORING.  223 

Mrs.  Dexter  was  too  feeble  for  a  shock  like  this. 
The  crimson  left  her  face.  While  her  husband 
yet  glared  angrily  upon  her,  a  deathly  hue  over 
spread  her  features,  and  she  fainted,  falling  for 
ward  upon  the  floor.  He  sprung  to  catch  her  in 
his  arms,  but  it  was  too  late.  She  struck  with  a 
heavy  concussion,  against  temple  and  cheek,  bruis 
ing  them  severely. 

When  Mrs.  Dexter  recovered,  she  was  in  her 
own  room  lying  upon  her  bed.  ]STo  one  was  there 
but  her  husband.  He  looked  grave  to  sadness. 
She  looked  at  him  a  single  moment,  then  shut  her 
eyes  and  turned  her  face  away.  Mr.  Dexter  nei 
ther  moved  nor 'spoke.  A  more  wretched  man  was 
scarcely  in  existence.  He  believed  all  against  his 
wife  that  his  words  expressed  ;  yet  was  he  con 
scious  of  unpardonable  indiscretion — and  he  was 
deeply  troubled  as  to  the  consequences  of  his  act. 
Mrs.  Dexter  was  fully  restored  to  consciousness, 
and  remembered  distinctly,  the  blasting  intimations 
of  her  husband.  But,  she  was  wholly  free  from 
excitement,  and  was  thinking  calmly. 

"  Will  you  send  for  my  aunt  ?"  Mrs.  Dexter 
turned  her  face  from  the  wall  as  she  said  this, 
speaking  "in  a  low  but  firm  voice. 


224    THK  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  ;  OK, 

"  Not  now.  Why  do  you  wish  to  see  her  ?"  Mr. 
Dexter's  tones  were  low  and  firm  also. 

"  I  shall  return  to  her,"  said  Mrs.  Dexter. 
"  "What  do  you  mean  ?"      Feeling  betrayed  it 
self. 

"  As  I  am  a  degraded  being  in  your  eyes,  you  do 
not,  of  course,  wish  me  to  remain  under  your  roof. 
And,  as  you  have  degraded  me  by  foul  and  false 
accusations,  against  the  bare  imagination  of  which 
my  soul  revolts,  I  can  no  longer  share  your  home, 
nor  eat  the  bread  which  your  hand  provides  for  me. 
>  "Where  there  is  no  love  on  one  side  and  no  faith  on 
the  other,  separation  becomes  inevitable."  •*•  . 

"  You  talk  madly,"  said  Mr.  Dexter. 
"  Not  madly,  but  soberly,"  she  answered. 
"  There  is  an  unpardonable  sin  against  a  virtuous 
wife,  and  you  have  committed  it.  Forgiveness  is 
impossible.  I  wish  to  see  my  aunt.  "Will  you  send 
for  her,  Mr.  Dexter  ?" 

"  It  was  a  dark  day  for  me,  Jessie,  when  I  first 
looked  upon  your  face,"  said  Mr.  Dexter. 

"  And  darker  still  for  me,  sir.  Yet,  after  my 
constrained  marriage,  I  tried,  to  the  best  of  my 
ability,  to  be  all  you  desired.  That  I  failed,  was 
no  fault  of  mine." 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF  JESSIE   LORING.  225 

"  Nor  mine,"  was  answered. 

"  Let  us  not  make  matters  worse  by  crimination 
and  recrimination,"  said  Mrs.  Dexter.  "  It  will 
take  nothing  from  our  future  peace  to  remember 
that  we  parted  in  forbearance,  instead  of  with  pas 
sionate  accusation." 

"  You  are  surely  beside  yourself,  Jessie !"  ex 
claimed  Mr.  Dexter. 

She  turned  her  face  away,   and  made  no  re 
sponse. 

Dexter  was  frightened.  "  Could  it  be  possible," 
he  asked  himself,  "  that  his  wife  really  purposed  a 
separation  ?"  The  fact  loomed  up  before  his  imag 
ination  with  all  of  its  appalling  consequences. 

A  full  half  hour  passed,  without  a  word  more 
from  the  lips  of  either.  Then  Mr.  Dexter  quietly 
retired  from  the  room.  He  had  no  sooner  done 
this,  than  Mrs.  Dexter  arose  from  the  bed,  and  com 
menced  making  changes  in  her  dress.  Her  face 
was  very  white,  and  her  movements  unsteady,  like 
the  movements  of  a  person  just  arisen  from  an  ex 
hausting  sickness.  There  was  some  appearance  of 
hurry  and  agitation  in  her  manner. 

About  an  hour  later,  and  just  as  twilight  had 
given  place  to  darkness,  Mrs.  Loring  who  was  sit- 
10* 


226     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT  J  OE, 

ting  with  her  daughters,  lifted  her  eyes  from  the 
work  in  her  hands,  and  leaned  her  head  in  a  listen 
ing  attitude.  The  door  bell  had  rung,  and  a  ser 
vant  was  moving  along  the  passage.  A  moment 
of  suspense,  and  then  light  steps  were  heard  and 
the  rustling  of  a  woman's  garments. 

"  Jessie  !"  exclaimed  Mrs.  Loring,  as  Mrs.  Dex 
ter  entered  the  sitting-room.  She  was  enveloped  in 
a  warm  cloak,  with  a  hood  drawn  over  her  head. 
As  she  pushed  the  latter  from  her  partly  hidden 
face,  her  aunt  saw  a  wildness  about  her  eyes,  that 
suggested,  in  connection  with  this  unheralded  visit 
of  the  feeble  invalid,  the  idea  of  mental  derange 
ment.  Starting  forward,  and  almost  encircling  her 
with  her  arms,  she  said — 

"  My  dear  child !  what  is  the  meaning  of  this 
visit  ?  Where  is  Mr.  Dexter  ?  Did  he  come  with 
you?" 

" I  am  cold," she  answered,  with  a  shiver.  "The 
air  is  piercing."  And  she  turned  towards  the 
grate,  spreading  her  hands  to  the  genial  warmth. 

"  Did  Mr.  Dexter  come  with  you  ?"  Mrs.  Lor 
ing  repeated  the  question. 

"  No  ;  I  came  alone,"  was  the  quietly  spoken  an 
swer. 


THE    LIFE-TRIALS    OF   JESSIK    LORING.    ,         227 

u  You  did  not  walk  ?" 

"  Yes." 

"  Why,  Jessie  !  You  imprudent  child !  Does 
Mr.  Dexter  know  of  this  ?" 

There  was  no  reply  to  this  question. 

"  Aunt -Phoebe,"  said  Mrs.  Dexter,  turning  from 
the  tire,  "  can  I  see  you  alone  ?" 

"  Certainly,  dear,"  and  placing  an  arm  around 
her,  Mrs.  Loring  went  with  her  niece  from  the  room. 

"  You  have  frightened  me,  child,"  said  the  aunt, 
as  soon  as  they  were  alone.  "  What  has  happened? 
Why  have  you  come  at  this  untimely  hoar,  and 
with  such  an  imprudent  exposure  of  your  health  ?" 

"  /  have  come  home,  Aunt  Phoebe  /"  Mrs.  Dex 
ter  stood  and  looked  steadily  into  the  face  of  her 
aunt. 

"  Home,  Jessie  ?"     Mrs.  Loring  was  bewildered. 

"  I  have  no  other  home  in  the  wide  world,  Aunt 
Phosbe."  The  sadness  of  Jessie's-  low,  steady 
voice,  went  deep  down  into  the  worldly  heart  of 
Mrs.  Loring. 

"Child  !  child  !  What  do  you  mean  ?"  exclaimed 
the  astonished  woman. 

"  Simply,  that  I  have  come  back  to  you  again — 
to  die,  I  trust,  and  that  right  early  !" 


228     THK  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  J  OR, 

"  Where  is  Mr.  Dexter  ?  What  has  happened  ? 
Oh,  Jessie  !  speak  plainly  !"  said  Mrs.  Loring, 
much  agitated. 

"I  have  left  Mr.  Dexter,  Aunt  Phrebe."  She 
yet  spoke  in  a  calm  voice.  "  And  shall  not  return 
to  him.  If  you  will  let  me  have  thaf  little  cham 
ber  again,  which  I  used  to  call  my  own,  I  will  bless 
you  for  the  sanctuary,  and  hide  myself  in  it  from 
the  world.  I  do  not  think  I  shall  burden  you  a 
long  time,  Aunt  Phoebe.  I  am  passing  through 
conflicts  and  enduring  pains  that  are  too  severe  for 
me.  Feeble  nature  is  fast  giving  way.  The  time 
will  not  be  long,  dear  aunt !" 

"  Sit  down,  child !  There !  Sit  down."  And 
Mrs.  Loring  led  her  niece  to  a  chair.  "  This  is  a 
serious  business,  Jessie,"  she  added,  in  a  troubled 
voice.  "  I  am  bewildered  by  your  strange  language. 
What  does  it  mean  ?  Speak  to  me  plainly.  I  am 
afraid  you  are  dreaming." 

"  I  wish  it  were  a  dream,  aunt.  But  no — all  is 
fearfully  real.  For  causes  of  which  I  cannot  now 
speak,  I  have  separated  myself  from  Mr.  Dexter, 
and  shall  never  live  with  him  again.  Our  ways 
have  parted,  and  forever." 

"  Jessie  !    Jessie  !      What  madness  !      Are  you 


THE   LIFE-TBIALS   OF  JESSIE   LOKING. 

beside  yourself  ?  Is  this  a  step  to  be  taken  without 
a  word  of  consultation  with  friends  ?" 

M.TS,  Loring,  as  soon  as  her  mind  began  clearly 
to  comprehend  what  her  niece  had  done,  grew 
strongly  excited.  Mrs.  Dexter  did  not  reply,  but 
let  her  eyes  fall  to  the  floor,  and  remained  silent. 
She  had  no  defence  to  make  at  any  human  tribunal. 

"  Why  have  you  done  this,  Jessie  ?"  demanded 
her  aunt. 

"  Forgive  my  reply,  Aunt  Fhoabe ;  I  can  make 
no  other  now.  The  reason  is  with  God  and  my 
own  heart.  He  can  look  deeper  than  any  human 
eyes  have  power  to  see  ;  and  comprehend  more  than 
I  can  put  in  words.  My  cause  is  with  Him.  If  my 
burdens  are  too  heavy,  He  will  not  turn  from  me 
because  I  fall  fainting  by  the  way." 

"Jessie,  what  is  the  meaning  of  this?"  Mrs. 
Loring  spoke  in  a  suddenly  changed  voice,  and 
coming  close  to  her  niece,  looked  earnestly  into  her 
face.  "  Here  is  a  bad  bruise  on  your  right  cheek, 
and  another  on  the  temple  just  above.  And  the 
skin  is  inflamed  around  the  edges  of  these  bruises, 
showing  them  to  be  recent.  How  came  this, 
Jessie  ?" 

"  Bruises  ?    Are  you  certain  ?" 


230    THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  ;  OE, 

"  Why,  yes,  child  !  and  bad  ones,  too." 

Mrs.  Dexter  looked  surprised.  She  raised  her 
hand  to  her  cheek  and  temple,  and  pressing  slightly, 
was  conscious  of  pain. 

"I  believe  I  fainted  in  the  parlor  this  afternoon," 
she  said  ;  "  I  must  have  fallen  to  the  floor." 

"Fainted!  From  what  cause?"  asked  Mrs. 
Loring. 

Mrs.  Dexter  was  silent. 

"  Was  it  from  sudden  illness  ?" 

"Yes." 

Mrs.  Loring  was  not  satisfied  with  this  brief 
answer.  Imagination  suggested  some  personal  out 
rage. 

"  Was  Mr.  Dexter  in  the  parlor  when  you  faint 
ed  ?"  she  asked. 

"Yes." 

"  Why  did  he  not  save  you  from  falling?" 

"  I  am  very  cold,  aunt ;  and  my  head  turns.  Let 
me  lie  down."  Mrs.  Dexter  made  an  effort  to  rise. 
As  Mrs.  Loring  caught  her  arms,  she  felt  them 
shiver.  Quickly  leading  her  to  the  bed,  she  laid 
her  in  among  the  warm  blankets  ;  but  external 
warmth  could  not  subdue  the  nervous  chill  that 
shook  her  frame  in  every  part. 


TEIK    LIFE-TKIALS   OF   JESSIK    LOKING.  231 

"  The  doctor  must  be  sent  for,"  said  Mrs.  Loring 
— >and  she  was  about  leaving  the  bedside. 

"JSTo,  no,  aunt !"  Mrs.  Dexter  caught  her  hand, 
and  held  her  back.  "  I  want  no  physician — only 
quiet  and  seclusion.  Have  my  own  little  room  pre 
pared  for  me,  and  let  me  go  there  to-night." 

Mrs.  Loring  sat  down  undecided,  and  in  great 
perplexity  of  mind. 

"  Listen !"  Some  one  had  rung  the  door-bell 
violently. 

"  Aunt !"  Mrs.  Dexter  started  up  and  laid  her 
hand  on  the  arm  of  Mrs.  Loring.  "If  that  is  Mr. 
Dexter,  remember  that  I  positively  refuse  to  meet 
him.  I  am-  ill,  as  you  can  see ;  and  I  warn  you 
that  the  agitation  of  a  forced  interview  may  cost 
me  my  life." 

"  If  it  is  Mr.  Dexter,  what  shall  I  say  ?  Hark ! 
Yes  !  It  is  his  step,  and  his  voice." 

"  Say  that  I  cannot  be  seen,  and  that  I  have  left 
him  forever." 

"  But,  Jessie  "— 

"Aunt  Loring,  remonstrance  is  vain!     I  have 
not  taken  this  step  without  a  deep  consciousness  of 
being  right ;  and  no  power  on  earth  can  lead  me  to  « 
retrace  it.     Let  him  comprehend  that,  in  its  plain 


232     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  ;  OR, 

significance ;  the  sooner  he  does  so  the  better  will 

it  be  for  both." 

"  Mr.  Dexter  wishes  to  see  you,"  said  a  servant, 

coming  to  the  door. 

"Say  that  I  will  be  down  in  a  moment." 

Mrs.  Loring  stood  for  some  time,  endeavoring  to 

collect  her  thoughts  and  calm  her  feelings.     She 

then  went  down  to  the  parlor. 


THE   LTFE-TKIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOKING.  233 


CHAPTER  XIX. 

"  Is  Jessie  here  ?"  inquired  Mr.  Dexter,  in  a  hur 
ried  manner. 

"  She  is,"  replied  Mrs.  Loring. 

"  I  wish  to  see  her." 

"  Sit  down,  Mr.  Dexter.  I  want  to  speak  with 
you  about  Jessie." 

Mr.  Dexter  sat  down,  though  with  signs  of  im 
patience. 

"  What  is  the  meaning  of  this  ?"  What  has 
happened,  Mr.  Dexter  ?" 

"  Only  a  slight  misunderstanding.  Jessie  is  over 
sensitive.  But  I  must  see  her  immediately ;  and 
alone,  if  you  please,  Mrs.  Loring." 

"  I  am  sorry,  Mr.  Dexter,  but  Jessie  will  not  see 
you." 

"  Not  see  me  !" 

«  No,  Sir." 

"  Go  and  say  that  I  am  here,  and  that  I  must  see 
her,  if  only  for  a  single  moment." 


234:     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT  ;  OB, 

"  She  knows  you  are  here,  Mr.  Dexter  ;  and  her 
message  is — '  Say  that  I  cannot  seen.' ' 

"  Where  is  she  ?"  Mr.  Dexter  moved  towards 
the  door ;  but  Mrs.  Loring,  who  had  taken  it  into 
her  head  that  personal  abuse — a  blow,  perhaps — was 
the  cause  of  Jessie's  flight  from  the  residence  of  her 
husband — (she  could  understand  and  be  properly 
indignant  at  such  an  outrage),  stepping  before  him 
said — 

"  Don't  forget,  sir,  that  this  is  my  house  !  You 
cannot  pass  into  any  of  its  apartments  unless  I  give 
permission.  And  such  permission  is  now  with 
held.  My  niece  is  in  no  condition  for  exciting 
interviews.  There  has  been  enough  of  that  for  one 
day,  I  should  think." 

"  What  do  you  mean  ?  What  has  she  said  ?" 
demanded  Mr.  Dexter,  looking  almost  fiercely  at 
Mrs.  Loring. 

"Nothing!"  was  replied.  "She  refuses  to  an 
swer  my  questions.  But  I  see  that  her  mind  is 
greatly  agitated,  while  her  person  bears  evidence 
of  cruel  treatment." 

"  Mrs.  Loring !"  Dexter  understood  her  mean 
ing,  and  instantly  grew  calm.  "  Evidences  of  cruel 
treatment !" 


THE   LIFE-TEIALS   OF  JESSIE   LOEINQ.  235 

"  Yes,  sir  !  Her  cheek  and  temple  are  discolored 
from  a  recent  bruise.  How  came  this  ?" 

"  She  fainted,  and  struck  herself  in  falling." 

"  In  your  presence  ?" 

"Yes." 

"  And  you  did  not  put  forth  a  hand  to  save  her  !" 

Mrs.  Loring's  foregone  conclusions  were  running 
away  with  her. 

"Excuse  me  madam,"  said  Mr.  Dexter,  coldly, 
"  you  are  going  beyond  the  record.  I  am  not  here 
at  the  confessional,  but  to  see  my  wife.  Pray,  do 
do  not  interpose  needless  obstacles." 

There  was  enough  of  contempt  in  the  tones  of 
Mr.  Dexter  to  wound  the  pride  and  fire  the  self-love 
of  Mrs.  Loring ;  and  enough  of  angry  excitement 
about  him,  to  give  her  a  new  impression  of  his 
character. 

"  You  cannot  see  Jessie  to-night,"  she  answered 
firmly.  "She  has  flown  back  to  me  in  wild  affright 
— the  mere  wreck  of  what  she  was,  poor  child !  when 
I  gave  her  into  your  keeping — and  the  inviolable 
sanctity  of  my  house  is  around  her.  I  much  fear, 
Leon  Dexter,  that  you  have  proved  recreant  to 
your  trust— that  you  have  not  loved,  protected,  and 
cherished  that  delicate  flower.  The  sweetness  of 
her  life  is  gone  ?" 


236     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART;  OK, 

The  woman  of  the  world  had  actally  warmed  into 
sentiment. 

"  It  is  I  who  have  suffered  wrong,"  said  Mr.  Dex 
ter.  "  Sit  down,  Mrs.  Loring,  and  hear  me.  If  I 
cannot  see  my  wife — if  she  willfully  persists  in  the 
step  she  has  taken — then  will  I  clear  my  skirts. 
You,  at  least,  if  not  the  world,  must  know  the  truth. 
Sit  down,  madam,  and  listen." 

They  moved  back  from  the  door,  and  crossing  the 
parlor,  sat  down  together  on  a  sofa. 

"  What  is  wrong?"  asked  Mrs.  Loring,  the  man 
ner  and  words  of  Mr.  Dexter  filling  her  mind  with 
vague  fear. 

"  Much,"  was  answered. 

"  Say  on." 

"  Your  niece,  I  have  reason  to  believe,  is  not  true 
to  me,"  said  Dexter. 

"Sir!"  Astonishment  and  indignation  blended 
in  the  tone  of  Mrs.  Loring's  voice. 

"  I  happened  to  come  upon  her  unawares  to-day, 
taking  her  in  the  very  act  of  encouraging  the  atten 
tions  of  a  man  whose  presence  and  detected  inti 
macy  with  her,  at  Newport,  were  the  causes  of  her 
illness  there." 

"  It  is  false !" 

Both  Dexter  and  Mrs.  Loring  started  to  their  feet. 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS    OF   JESSIE    LOEING.  237 

There  stood  Jessie,  just  within  the  door  at  the  lower 
end  of  the  parlor,  her  cheeks  flushed,  and  her  eyes 
bright  with  indignation. 

"  It  is  false,  sir !"  she  repeated,  in  strong,  clear 
tones. 

Mr.  Dexter,  after  the  first  moment  of  bewilder 
ing  surprise,  advanced  towards  his  wife. 

"  It  is  false — false  as  the  evil  spirit  who  suggested 
a  thought  of  your  wife's  dishonor  !" 

Saying  this,  Mrs.  Dexter  turned  and  glided  away. 
Her  hushand  made  a  motion  to  follow,  but  Mrs. 
Loring  laid  her  hand  upon  his  arm. 

"  Light  breaks  into  my  mind,"  she  said.  "  It  was 
because  you  charged  her  with  dishonorable  intent 
that  she  fled  from  you  ?  A  man  should  be  well  for 
tified  with  proofs  before  he  ventures  so  far.  I  will 
believe  nothing  against  her,  except  on  the  clearest 
evidence.  Can  you  adduce  it?" 

There  was  a  homely  force  in  this  mode  of  pre 
senting  the  subject  that  had  the  effect  to  open  the 
eyes  of  Dexter  a  little  to  the  unpleasant  aspect  of 
his  position.  What  proof  had  he  of  his  wife's  infi 
delity — and  yet  he  had  gone  so  far  as  to  say  that  he 
had  reason  to  believe  her  not  true  to  him,  and  that 
she  had  been  detected  in  questionable  intimacy  with 
some  one  at  Newport !" 


238     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEABT  ;  OR, 

"  Can  you  adduce  the  evidence,  Mr.  Dexter  ?" 
repeated  Mrs.  Loring. 

"  I  may  have  been  hasty,"  he  said,  moving  back 
into  the  room.  "  My  words  may  have  signified  too 
much.  But  she  has  been  imprudent." 

"  It  is  not  true,  sir !" 

The  voice  of  Jessie  startled  them  again:  .  She 
stood  almost  on  the  spot  from  which  they  had 
turned  a  moment  before. 

"It  is  not  true,  sir!"  she  repeated  her  words. 
"  Not  true,  in  any  degree !  All  is  but  the  ghost  of 
a  jealous  fancy  !  And  now,  sir,  beware  how  you 
attempt  to  connect  my  name  with  evil  reports  or 
surmises  !  I  may  be  stung  into  demanding  of  you 
the  proof,  and  in  another  place  than  this  !  Never, 
even  in  thought,  have  I  dishonored  you.  That  is  a 
lower  deep  into  which  my  nature  can  never  fall ; 
and  you  should  have  known  me  well  enough  to 
have  had  faith.  Alas  that  it  was  not  so  !" 

She  passed  from  her  husband's  presence  again, 
seeming  almost  to  vanish  where  she  stood. 

"  What  is  to  be  done  ?"  said  Mr.  Dexter,  turning 
towards  Mrs.  Loring,  with  a  certain  shame-faced- 
ness,  that  showed  his  own  perception  of  the  aspect 
in  which  his  hasty  conduct  had  placed  him. 

"  It  is  impossible  to  answer  that  question  now," 


THE   LIFE-TKIALS   OF  JESSIE   LOKING.  239 

replied  Mi's.  Loring.  "These  muddy  waters  must 
have  time  to  run  clear.  As  for  Jessie,  it  is  plain 
that  she  needs  seclusion,  and  freedom  from  all 
causes  of  excitement.  That  you  have  wronged  her 
deeply  by  your  suspicions,  I  have  not  the  shadow 
of  a  doubt — how  deeply,  conceding  her  innocence, 
you  can  say  better  than  I." 

,  "  You   will  not  encourage   her  in   maintaining 
towards  me  her  present  attitude,  Mrs.  Loring  ?" 

"  Not  if  I  see  any  hope  of  reconciliation.  But  I 
must  know  more  of  your  lives  during  the  past  few 
months.  I  fear  that  you  have  wholly  misunder 
stood  your  wife,  and  so  alienated  her  that  oblivion 
of  the  past  is  hopeless." 

"  Think  of  the  exposure  and  disgrace,"  said  Mr. 
Dexter. 

"I  do  think  of  it ;  and  the  thought  sickens 
me."  . 

"  You  will  surely  advise  her  to  return." 

"  I  can  promise  nothing  sir.  Wait — wait — wait. 
I  have  no  other  advice  to  offer.  My  poor  child  has 
passed  through  fearful  trials — that  is  plain  ;  and  she 
must  have  time  for  body  and  mind  to  recover  them 
selves.  Oh,  sir !  how  could  you,  knowing  her  fee 
ble  condition,  bear  down  upon  her  so  heavily  as 


240     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART;  OK, 

you  did  this  day.  Your  words  must  have  fallen 
like  heavy  blows  ;  for  it  seems  that  they  struck  her 
down  senseless.  A  second  attack  of  brain  fever, 
should  it  unfortunately  follow  this  agitation,  will 
certainly  prove  fatal." 

Dexter  was  silent. 

"  We  must  keep  our  own  counsel  for  the  present," 
he  said,  at  length.  "  The  public  should  know  noth 
ing  of  all  this."  ^ 

"  In  that  we  are  agreed,"  answered  Mrs.  Loring. 
"  My  advice  to  you  is,  to  leave  Jessie,  for  the  time 
being  at  least,  to  her  own  will.  Serious  prostration 
of  all  her  faculties,  I  cannot  but  fear  as  a  conse 
quence.  To-morrow,  she  will  in  all  probability 
need  her  physician's  care." 

"  How  will  you  account  for  her  condition,  should 
his  attendance  be  deemed  necessary  ?" 

Mrs.  Loring  shook  her  head.  \  +. 

"  Events,"  she  answered,  "  are  too  recent,  and 
my  mind  too  much  bewildered  to  say  what  course 
I  may  deem  it  the  wisest  policy  to  pursue.  I  must 
await  the  occasion,  and  govern  myself  accord 
ingly." 

"  Be  very  prudent,  madam,"  said  Mr.  Dexter. 
"  A  single  error  may  wreck  everything." 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF  JESSIE   LOSING.  241 

"  Her  reputation  is  as  dear  to  me  as  my  own," 
replied  Mrs  Loring,  "  and  you  may  be  very  sure, 
that  I  will  guard  it  as  a  most  precious  thing.  The 
warning  as  to  circumspection  I  pass  to  you." 

Mr.  Dexter  made  a  movement  to  retire. 

"  I  will  see  you  in  the  morning,"  he  said,  "  and 
in  the  meantime,  account  for  Jessie's  absence,  by 
saying  that  she  paid  you  a  visit,  going  out  impru 
dently,  and  found  herself  too  much  indisposed  to 
return." 

Mrs.  Loring  merely  inclined  her  head.  A  little 
while  Dexter  stood  looking  at  her,  embarrassment 
and  trouble  written  on  every  feature.  Then  bow 
ing  coldly,  he  retired. 


11 


242    THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  J  OE, 


CHAPTEE    XX. 

WHEN  Mrs.  Loring  went  back  to  her  chamber, 
after  Mr.  Dexter  withdrew  from  the  house,  she 
found  Jessie  in  bed,  lying  as  still  as  if  asleep.  She 
looked  up  when  her  aunt  came  to  the  bedside — at 
first  with  stealthy,  half-timid  glances — then  with 
more  of  trust,  that  changed  into  loving  confidence. 
Mrs.  Loring  bent  down  and  kissed  her. 

"  Oh,  Aunt  Phoebe !  that  was  very  cruel  in 
him." 

"  What  was  cruel,  dear  ?" 

The  thoughts  of  Mrs.  Loring  went  farther  back 
than  to  the  interview  in  her  parlor. 

"  He  tried  to  ruin  me  even  in  your  regard." 

"  But  he  failed,  Jessie.  I  will  not  believe  the 
lowest  whisper  of  an  evil  report  against  you." 

"  I  am  as  pure  in  thought  and  as  true  in  purpose, 
Aunt  Phoebe,  as  when  I  went  out  from  you.  I  do 
not  love  Mr.  Dexter — I  never  loved  him.  Still 
that  is  no  crime — only  a  necessity.  He  understood 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS    OF   JESSIE   LOKING.  243 

this  in  the  beginning,  and  took  the  risk  of  happi 
ness — .$o  did  I.  But  he  was  not  satisfied  with  all 
that  I  could  give.  He  wanted  a  heart,  as  well  as  a  ^ 
hand — a  living,  loving  spirit,  as  well  as  a  body. 
These  he  could  not  possess  in  me — for  the  heart 
loves  not  by  compulsion.  Then  jealousy  was  born 
in  his  soul,  and  suspicion  followed.  Both  were 
groundless.  I  felt  a  degrading  sense  of  wrong  ; 
and  at  times,  a  spirit  of  rebellion.  But  I  never 
gave  place  to  a  wandering  thought — never  gave 
occasion  for  wrong  construction  of  my  conduct. 
Ah,  Aunt  Phoebe  !  that  marriage  was  a  sad-  mis-  t/" 
take.  A  union  unblessed  by  love,  is  the  commence 
ment  of  a  wretched  life.  It  is  the  old  story ;  and 
never  loses  its  tragic  interest.  It  was  folly  in  the 
beginning,  and  it  is  madness  now." 

Mrs.  Loring  would  have  questioned  her  niece 
closely  as  to  the  meaning  of  Mr.  Dexter's  allusion 
to  a  certain  individual  as  having  beeji  too  intimate 
with  his  wife,  but  these  closing  remarks  fell  like 
rebuke  upon  her  ears.  She  remembered  how 
almost  like  a  victim-lamb,  Jessie  had  been  led  up 
to  the  marriage  altar  ;  and  how  she  had  overruled 
all  objections,  and  appealing  to  her  honor,  had 
almost  constrained  her  into  the  fulfillment  of  a  pro- 


244     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART;  OE, 

mise  that  should  never  have  been  extorted.  And 
so  she  remained  silent 

"  I  knew  it  must  come  to  this  sooner  or  later," 
Jessie  went  on;  "I  knew  that  a  time  must  arrive 
when  the  only  alternative  for  me  would  be  death 
or  separation.  The  separation  has  taken  place 
sooner  than  I  had  dared  to  hope  ;  and  for  the  act,  I 
do  not  hold  myself  responsible.  He  flung  me  off ! 
To  a  spirit  like  mine,  his  language  was  a  strong 
repulsion  ;  and  I  swept  away  from  him  with  a 
force  it  would  have  been  vain  to  resist.  We  are 
apart  now,  and  apart  forever." 

"You  are  too  much  excited,  Jessie,"  said  Mrs. 
Loring,  laying  her  linger  upon  the  lips  of  her  niece, 
"and  I  must  enjoin  silence  and  rest.  I  have  faith 
in  you.  1  will  be  your  friend,  though  all  the  world 
pass  coldly  on  in  scorn." 

Tears  glistened  in  the  eyes  of  Mrs.  Dexter  as  she 
lifted  them,  with  a  thankful  expression,  to  the  face 
of  her  aunt,  from  whom  she  had  not  dared  to  hope 
for  so  tender  a  reception.  She  knew  Mrs.  Loring 
to  be  worldly-minded ;  she  knew  her  to  be  a  woman 
of  not  over  delicate  feelings ;  and  as  one  easily 
affected  by  appearances.  That  she  would  blame, 
denounce,  threaten,  she  had  no  doubt.  A  thought 


THE   LITE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOKING.  245 

of  approval,  sympathy,  aid  or  comfort  in  this  fear 
ful  trial  had  not  stirred  in  her  imagination.  This 
unlocked  for  kindness  on  the  part  of  her  aunt 
touched  her  deeply. 

The  fact  was,  Mr.  Dexter  had  gone  a  step  too 
far.  The  grossness  of  this  outrage  upon  his  wife, 
Mrs.  Loring  could  appreciate,  and  it  was  just  of 
the  kind  to  arouse  all  her  womanly  indignation. 
A  more  refined  act  of  cruelty  she  would  not  have 
understood ;  and  might  have  adjudged  her  niece  as 
capricious. 

"Thank  you,  dear  Aunt  Phoebe,  for  this  love 
and  kindness  !"  Jessie  could  not  help  saying.  "  I 
need  it;  and,  for  all  I  have  been  as  a  wife,  am 
worthy  to  receive  it.  As  pure  in  thought  and  act 
as  when  I  parted  from  you  do- 1  return ;  and  now 
all  I  ask  is  to  become  again  the  occupant  of  that 
little  chamber  I  once  called  my  own  ;  there  to 
hide  myself  from  all  eyes — there  to  remain,  forgot 
ten  by  the  gay  circles  in  which  I  moved  for  a  brief 
season." 

"  Dear  heart!  will  you  not  be  quiet?"  said  Mrs. 
Loring;  laying  her  fingers  once  more  upon  her 
lips. 

Mrs.  Dexter  sighed  as  her  lashes  drooped  upon 


546     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART;  OB, 

her  cheeks.  Very  still  she  lay  after  this,  and  as 
her  aunt  stood  looking  upon  her  white,  shrunken 
face  and  hollow  eyes,  and  noted  the  purple  stain 
on  her  cheek  and  temple,  tears  of  compassion  filled 
her  eyes,  and  tender  pity  softened  all  her  feelings. 

That  night  Jessie  slept  in  her  aunt's  room. 
Morning  found  her  in  a  calmer  state,  and  with  less 
prostration  of  body  than  Mrs.  Loring  had  feared 
would  ensue.  She  did  not  rise  until  late,  but  met 
her  cousins  while  yet  in  bed,  with  a  quiet  warmth 
of  manner  that  placed  both  them  and  herself  at 
ease  with  one  another.  They  had  been  frightened 
witnesses  of  the  exciting  scenes  in  the  parlor,  when 
Mrs.  Dexter  twice  confronted  her  husband  and 
met  his  intimations  of  wrong  with  indignant  denial. 
Beyond  this  their  mother  had  informed  them  that 
their  cousin  had  left  her  home  and  might  not  again 
return  to  it.  For  the  present  she  enjoined  silence 
as  to  what  had  occurred ;  and  reserve  or  evasion  of 
questions  should  curious  inquirers  approach  them 
at  school  or  elsewhere. 

Before  Jessie  had  arisen,  Mr.  Dexter  called.  He 
looked  worn  and  troubled.  It  was  plain  that  his 
night  had  been  sleepless. 

"  How  is  she  ?"  he  asked  of  Mrs.  Loring,  almost 


THE    LIFE-TKIALS    OF   JESSIE    LORING.  24:7 

fearfully,  as  if  dreading  the  answer.      He  did  not 
pronounce  the  name  of  his  wife. 

"  Better  than  I  had  hoped,"  was  replied. 

"  Has  she  required  the  attention  of  a  physician?" 

"No." 

Mr.  Dexter  seemed  relieved.   >rs 

(V*    *^  ^r 
"  What  is  her  state  of  mind  ?'*         «  ^  ^P 

"  She  is  more  tranquil  than  I  had  expected  to 
find  her." 

Mrs.  Loring's  manner  was  cold. 

"  Have  you  conversed  with  her  this  morning  ?" 

"  But  little." 

"  Will  she  see  me 

"I  think  not." 

"Will  you  ask  hW 

^»  ^r 

"  Not  now.     She  is  too  weak  to  bear  a  recur- 

.  ^ 
ronce  oi  agitating  scenes. 

Mr.  Dexter  bit  his  lips  firmly  as  if  striving  with 
his  feelings. 

"  When  can  I  see  her?" 

"  That  question  I  am  unable  now  to  answer,  Mr. 
Dexter.  But  my  own  opinion  is  that  it  will  be 
better  for  you  to  see  her  to-morrow  than  to-day ; 
better  next  week  than  to-morrow.  You  must  give 
time  for  calmness  and  reflection." 


248     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT J  OK, 

"  She  is  my  wife  !"  exclaimed  Mr.  Dexter,  not 
able  to  control  himself.  The  manner  in  which 
this  was  said  conveyed  clearly  his  thought  to  Mrs. 
Loring,  and  she  replied  with  equal  feeling 

"  But  not  your  slave  to  command !" 

"  Madam !  I  warn  you  not  to  enter  into  this 
league  against  me — not  to  become  a  party  in  this 
wicked  scheme  !  If  you  do,  then  you  must  bear 
the  consequences  of  such  blind  folly.  I  am  not  the 
man  to  submit  tamely.  I  will  not  submit." 

"  You  are  simply  beating  the  air,"  replied  Mrs. 
Loring;  "  There  is  no  league  against  you — no 
wicked  scheme — nothing  beyond  your  own  excited 
imagination  ;  and  I  warn  you,  in  turn,  not  to  pro 
ceed  one  step  further  in  this  direction." 

"  Madam  !  can  I  see  my  wife  2"  The  attitude  of 
Mr.  Dexter  was  threatening. 

"  No,  sir.  Not  now,"  was  the  firmly  spoken 
answer. 

He  turned  to  go. 

"  Mr.  Dexter." 

"Well  2     Say  on." 

"  I  do  not  wish  you  to  call  here  again." 

"  Madam  !  my  wife  is  harboring  here." 

"  I  will   give  my  servant   orders   not   to  admit 

1BL 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS    OF    JESSIE    LOKING.  249 

you!"  said  Mrs.  Loring,  outraged  by  this  re 
mark. 

For  an  instant  Dexter  looked  as  if  he  would  de 
stroy  her,  were  it  in  his  power,  by  a  single  glance  ; 
then  turning  away  he  left  the  house,  muttering  im 
potent  threats. 

And  so  the  breach  grew  wider. 

"  I  don't  wonder  that  Jessie  could  not  live  with 
him,"  said  Mrs.  Loring  to  herself.  "Such  a  tem 
per  !  Dear  heart !  Who  can  tell  how  much  she 
may  have  suffered  ?" 


11* 


250     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT  J  OE, 


CHAPTEE  XXI. 

ONCE  more  Jessie  found  herself  alone  in  the  little 
chamber  where  her  gentle  girlish  life,  had  strength 
ened  towards  womanhood.  Many  times  had  she 
visited  this  chamber  since  her  marriage,  going  to 
it  as  to  some  pilgrim-shrine,  but  never  with  the 
feelings  that  now  crowded  upon  her  heart.  She 
had  returned  as  a  dove,  to  the  ark  from  the  wild 
waste  of  waters,  wing-weary,  faint,  frightened — 
fluttering  into  this  holy  place,  conscious  of  safety. 
She  was  not  to  go  out  again.  Blessed  thought ! 
How  it  warmed  the  life-blood  in  her  heart,  and 
sent  the  currents  in  more  genial  streams  through 
every  vein. 

But  alas  !  memory  could  not  die.  Lethe  was 
only  a  fable  of  the  olden  times.  A  place  of  safety 
is  not  always  a  place  of  freedom  from  pain.  It 
could  not  be  so  in  this  instance.  Yet,  for  a  time, 
like  the  exhausted  prisoner  borne  back  from  torture 
to  his  cell,  the  crushed  members  reposed  in  deli- 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS    OF   JESSIE   LORLNG.  251 

cious  insensibility.  The  hard  pallet  was  a  heaven 
of  ease  to  the  iron  rack  on  which  the  quivering 
flesh  had  been  torn,  and  the  joints  wrenched,  until 
nature  cried  out  in  agony. 

Dear  little  room  !  Though  its  walls  were  nar 
row,  and  its  furniture  simple  even  to  meagreness, 
it  was  a  palace  in  her  regard  to  the  luxurious 
chambers  she  had  left.  It  was  all  her  own.  She 
need  not  veil  her  heart  there.  No  semblances  were 
required.  No  intrusion  feared.  It  seemed  to  her,  for 
a  time,  as  if  she  had  been  so  lifted  out  of  the  world, 
as  to  be  no  longer  a  part  of  it.  The  hum  and 
shock  of  men  were  far  below  her.  She  had  neither 
part  nor  lot  in  common  humanity. 

But  this  could  not  last.  She  had  formed  rela 
tions  with  that  world  not  to  be  cast  off  lightly. 
She  was  a  wife,  violently  separated  from  her  hus 
band  ;  and  setting  at  defiance  the  laws  which  had 
bound  them  together. 

On  the  third  day  Mrs  Dexter  received  a  commu 
nication  from  her  husband.  It  was  imperative, 
reading  thus : 

"  MKS.  DEXTER — I  have  twice  sought  to  gain  an 
interview,  and  twice  been  repelled  with  insult.  I 


252     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART;  OR, 

now  write  to  ask  when  and  where  you  will  see  me. 
We  must  meet,  Jessie.  This  rash  step,  I  fear,  is  go 
ing  to  involve  consequences  far  more  disastrous 
than  you  have  imagined.  It  is  no  light  thing  for  a 
woman  to  throw  herself  beyond  the  pale  of  her 
husband's  protection. — Something  is  owed  to  the 
world — something  to  reputation — something  to 
your  good  name  ;  and  much  to  your  husband.  I 
may  have  been  hasty,  but  I  was  sincere.  There 
are  some  things  that  looked  wrong ;  they  look  wrong 
still,  and  will  always  look  wrong  if  your  present 
attitude  is  maintained.  I  wish  to  see  you,  that  we 
may,  together,  review  these  unhappy  questions,  and 
out  of  a  tangled  skein  bring  even  threads,  if  pos 
sible.  Let  me  hear  from  you  immediately. 

"YouR  HUSBAND." 

Twice  Mrs.  Dexter  read  this  letter,  hurriedly  at 
first,  but  very  slowly  the  second  time ;  weighing 
each  word  and  sentence  carefully.  She  then  laid 
it  aside,  and  almost  crouching  down  in  her  chair, 

fell  into  such  deep  thought  that  she  seemed  more 

• 
like  one  sleeping  than  awake.     She  did  not  attempt 

an  answer  until  the  next  day.  Then  she  penned 
the  following : 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS    OF   JESSIE   LOKING.  253 

"  To  LEON  DEXTEK — In  leaving  your  house  and 
your  protection,  I  was  not  governed  by  caprice  or 
impulse.  For  some  time  I  have  seen  that,  sooner 
or  later,  it  must  come  to  this ;  that  the  cord  uniting 
us  was  too  severely  strained,  and  must  snap.  I  did 
not  suppose  the  time  so  near  at  hand — that  you 
would  drag  upon  it  now  with  such  a  sudden  force. 
But  the  deed  is  done,  and  we  are  apart  forever.  I 
cannot  live  with  you  again — your  presence  would 
suffocate  me.  There  was  a  mutual  wrong  in  our 
marriage ;  but  I  was  most  to  blame  ;  for  I  knew 
that  I  did  not  and  never  could  love  you  as  I  be 
lieved  a  husband  should  be  loved.  But  you  had 
extorted  from  me  a  promise  of  marriage,  and  I 
believed  it  to  be  my  duty  to  fulfill  that  promise. 
Young,  inexperienced,  blind  to  the  future,  I  took 
up  the  burdens  you  laid  at  my  feet,  and  believed 
myself  strong  enough  to  carry  them  all  the  days  of 
my  life.  It  was  a  fatal  error.  How  painfully  I 
have  struggled  on — how  prayerfully,  how  patiently, 
how  self- deny ingly,  you  can  never  know.  Yet 
without  avail.  I  have  fallen  by  the  way,  and  there 
is  not  strength  enough  in  me  to  lift  the  burdens 
again.  1  know  this,  and  One  besides;  and  I  am 
content  to  rest  the  case  with  Him.  The  world  will 


254     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  ;  OE, 

blame — the  church  censure — the  law  condemn. 
Let  it  be  so.  All  that  is  light  to  the  sufferings  I 
have  endured,  and  from  which  I  have  fled. 

"  I  cannot  see  you,  Mr.  Dexter — I  will  not  see 
you.  Our  ways  in  this  world  have  parted,  and  for 
ever.  The  act  was  not  mine,  but  yours.  You 
flung  me  off  with  a  force  that  overcame  all  scruple 
• — all  question  of  right — all  effort  to  cling  to  you  as 
my  husband.  I  was  trying,  in  my  feeble  way — 
for  not  much  power  remained — to  be  a  dutiful  wife, 
when  you  extinguished  all  hope  of  success  by  a 
charge  as  false  as  the  evil  spirit  who  whispered  in 
your  too  willing  ears  a  suspicion  of  infidelity  against 
one  who  had  never  permitted  a  thought  of  wrong 
towards  her  husband  to  enter  even  the  outermost 
portal  of  her  rnind.  I  had  not  seen  the  person  to 
whom  you  allude  since  my  accidental  meeting  with 
him  at  Newport,  so  basely  construed  into  design ; 
and  his  passing  my  window  at  the  moment  you  re 
turned  home,  was  as  unexpected  to  me  as  to  you. 

"I  had  hoped  that  my  previous  solemn  assu 
rances  were  sufficient  to  give  you  confidence  in  my 
integrity.  But  this  was  an  error.  You  had  no 
faith  in  me ;  and  assailed  me  with  violence  when 
my  thoughts  were  as  true  to  honor  as  ever  were 


THE    LIFE-TRIALS    OF   JESSIE   LOEING.  255 

yours.  Did  you  imagine  tnat  I  could  lie  passive  at 
your  feet,  so  trampled  down  and  degraded  ?  No, 
sir !  God  gave  me  a  higher  consciousness — a  purer 
spirit — a  nobler  individuality !  You  should  have 
mated  one  of  a  different  stamp  from  me  ! 

"  And  yet  I  pity  you,  Leon  Dexter !  This  web 
of  trouble,  which  your  own  hands  have  woven 
around  your  life,  will  fetter  and  gall  you  at  every 
step  in  your  future  journey.  I  have  not  left  you  in 
a  spirit  of  retaliation ;  but  simply  because  the 
natural  strain  of  repulsion  was  stronger  than  all  the 
attractive  forces  that  held  us  together.  I  only 
obeyed  a  law  against  which  weak  nature  strove  in 
vain.  Were  it  in  my  power,  I  would  make  all 
your  future  bright  with  the  warmest  sunshine.  But 
over  your  future  I  have  no  control — yet,  sadly 
enough,  are  our  destinies  linked,  and  the  existence 
of  each  will  be  a  thorn  in  the  other's  heart. 

"  I  have  not  much  strength  left.  The  contest 
has  nearly  extinguished  my  life.  This  is  the  last 
struggle  I  shall  have  with  you.  My  first  weak 
thought  was  to  return  your  letter  without  a  word 
in  reply.  But  that  would  have  been  a  wrong  to 
both ;  and  so  I  have  made  you  this  communication, 
and  you  must  regard  it  as  final.  Farewell,  un- 


256     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT  J  OK, 

happy  Leon  Dexter !  I  would  have  saved  you 
from  this  calamity,  but  you  would  not  let  me ! 
May  Pie  who  has  permitted  you  thus  to  drag  down 
the  temple  of  domestic  happiness,  and  bury  your 
self  amid  the  ruins,  give  you,  in  this  direful  calam 
ity,  a  higher  than  human  power  of  endurance. 
May  the  fierce  flames  of  this  great  ordeal,  find  gold 
in  your  character  beyond  the  reach  of  fire.  Fare 
well,  forever !  and-  may  God  bless  and  keep  you ! 
The  prayer  is  from  a  heart  yet  free  from  guile,  and 
the  lips  that  breathe  it  upward  are  as  pure  as  when 
you  laid  upon  them  the  marriage  kiss  !  God  keep 
them  as  guileless  and  as  pure  !  Amen ! 

"  JESSIE." 

Dexter  accepted  the  decision  of  his  wife  as  final. 
What  else  was  left  for  him  ?  He  would  have  been 
the  dullest  of  men  not  to  have  seen  the  spirit  of 
this  answer,  shining  everywhere  through  the  letter. 
Something  more  than  feebly  dawned  the  conviction 
in  his  mind,  that  he  had  foully  wronged  his  wife, 
and  that  the  fearful  calamity  which  had  overtaken 
him  in  the  morning  of  his  days,  was  of  his  own 
creating.  He  did  not  again  attempt  to  see  her ; 
made  no  further  remonstrance  ;  offered  no  kind  of 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOKING.  257 

annoyance.  A  profound  respect  for  the  suffering 
woman  who  had  abandoned  him,  took  the  place  of 
indignation  against  her.  In  silence  he  sat  down 
amid  his  crushed  hopes  and  broken  idols,  and  wait 
ed  for  light  to  guide  him  and  strength  to  walk  on 
ward.  *Like  thousands  of  other  men,  he  had  dis 
covered  that  a  human  soul  was  not  a  plaything,  nor 
a  piece  of  machinery  to  wind  up  and  set  in  motion 
at  will ;  and  like  thousands  of  other  men,  he  had 
made  this  discovery  too  late. 


258     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART J  OE, 


CHAPTER  XXII. 

WITHOUT  a  note  of  warning,  the  public  were 
startled  by  the  news  that  Mrs.  Dexter  had  left  her 
husband.  Wisely,  sober  second  thought  laid  upon 
the  lips  of  Mr.  Dexter  the  seal  of  silence.  He  gave 
no  reason  for  the  step  his  wife  had  taken,  and  de 
clined  answering  all  inquiries,  even  from  his  near 
est  friends.  From  a  man  of  impulse,  he  seemed 
changed  at  once  into  a  man  of  deliberate  purpose. 
His  elegant  home  was  not  given  up,  though  he  lived 
in  it  a  kind  of  half  hermit  life.  Abroad,  he  was 
reserved  ;  while  everything  about  him  gave  signs 
of  a  painful  inward  conflict. 

Of  course,  the  social  air  was  full  of  rumors,  prob 
able  and  improbable,,  but  none  of  them  exactly 
true.  Mrs.  Dexter  was  wholly  silent,  except  to  her 
wisest  and  truest  friend,  Mrs.  De  Lisle — and  her 
discretion  ever  kept  her  guarded.  Mrs.  Loring 
simply  alleged  "incompatibility  of  temper" — that- 
vague  allegation  which  covers  with  its  broad  man 
tle  so  wide  a  range  of  domestic  antagonisms.  And 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF  JESSIE   LOKING.  259 

so  the  public  had  its  appetite  piqued,  and  the  nine 
days'  wonder  became  the  wonder  of  a  season.  Hints 
towards  the  truth  were  embellished  by  gossips'  ready 
imaginations,  and  stones  of  wrong,  domestic  tyrrany, 
infidelity,  and  the  like,  were  passed  around,  and 
related  with  a  degree  of  circumstantiality  that  gave 
them  wide  credence.  Yet  in  no  instance  was  the 
name  of  Hendrickson  connected  with  that  of  Mrs. 
Dexter.  So  transient  had  been  their  intercourse, 
that  no  eye  but  that  of  jealousy  had  noted  their 
meeting  as  anything  beyond  the  meeting  of  indif 
ferent  acquaintances. 

It  was  just  one  week  from  the  day  Paul  Hen 
drickson  caught  an  unexpected  glimpse  of  Mrs. 
Dexters'  face  at  the  window,  and  passed  on  with 
herima2;e  freshened  in  his  heart,  that  he  called  in 

o  / 

at  the  Ardens',  after  an  unusually  long  absence,  to 
spend  an  evening.  Miss  Arden's  countenance 
lighted  with  a  sudden  glow  on  his  appearance,  the 
rich  blood  dyeing  her  cheeks,  and  giving  her  face  a 
heightened  charm  ;  and  in  the  visitor's  eyes  there 
was  something  gentler  and  softer  in  her  beauty  than 
he  had  before  observed.  He  probably  guessed 
the  "cause ;  and  the  thought  touched  his  feelings, 
and  drew  his  heart  something  nearer  to  her. 


260     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  ;  OK, 

"  That  is  a  painful  story  about  Mrs.  Dexter,"  said 
Mrs.  Arden,  almost  as  soon  as  the  young  man  came 
in.  The  recently  heard  facts  were  uppermost  in 
her  thoughts. 

"  "What  story  ?  I  have  not  heard  anything." 
Hendrickson  was  on  his  guard  in  a  moment; 
though  he  betrayed  unusual  interest. 

"It  is  dreadful  to  think  of!"  said  Miss  Arden. 
"  What  a  wretched  creature  she  must  be !  I 
always  thought  her  one  of  the  best  of  women. 
Though  I  must  own  that  at  Saratoga  last  summer, 
she  showed  rather  more  fondness  for  the  society  of 
other  men  than  she  did  for  that  of  her  husband." 

"  I  am  still  in  the  dark,"  said  Mr.  Hendrickson, 
with  suppressed  excitement. 

"  Then  you  haven't  heard  of  it  ?  Why,  it's  the 
town  talk." 

"No." 

"  There's  been  a  separation  between  Mrs.  Dexter 
and  her  husband,"  remarked  Mrs.  Arden.  "  She 
left  him  several  days  ago,  and  is  now  with  her  aunt, 
Mrs.  Loring." 

"  A  separation  P  On  what  ground  ?"  Hendrick- 
son's  breathing  oppressed  him. 

"  Something  wrong  with  Mrs.  Dexter,  I  am  told. 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOKING.  261 

She  had  too  many  admirers — so  the  story  goes ; 
and,  worse  still — for  admiration  she  couldn't  help 
— one  lover." 

It  was  Mrs.  Arden  who  said  this. 

"  Who  was  the  lover  ?"  asked  Mr.  Hendrickson. 
His  voice  was  so  quiet,  and  his  tones  so  indifferent, 
that  none  suspected  the  intense  interest  with  which 
he  was  listening. 

"I  have  not  heard  his  name,"  replied  Mrs. 
Arden. 

"  Does  he  live  in  this  city  ?" 

"  I  believe  not.  Some  new  acquaintance,  made 
at  Newport,  I  think.  You  remember  that  she  was 
very  ill  there  last  summer  ?" 

"  Yes." 

"  Well,  the  cause  of  that  illness  is  now  said  to 
have  been  a  discovery  by  Mr.  Dexter  of  some 
indiscretion  on  her  part,  followed  by  angry  remon 
strance  on  his." 

"That  is  the  story?" 

"Yes." 

"  And  what  caused  the  separation  which  has  just 
taken  place  ?" 

"  A  renewal  of  this  intimacy,"  said  Mrs.  Arden. 

"  A  very  serious  charge  ;  and,  I  believe  without 


262    THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT  J  OE, 

foundation  in  truth,"  replied  Hendrickson.  He 
spoke  slowly,  yet  not  with  strong  emphasis.  His 
auditors  did  not  know  that  he  was  simply  control 
ling  his  voice  to  hide  his  agitation. 

"  Oh,  there  is  no  doubt  as  to  its  truth,"  said  Mrs. 
Arden.  "The  facts  have  been  substantiated;  so 
Mrs.  Anthony  told  me  to-day  ;  and  she  has  been 
one  of  Mrs.  Dexter's  most  intimate  friends." 

"What  facts?"  inquired  Hendrickson. 

"  Facts,  that  if  they  do  not  prove  crime  against 
Mrs.  Dexter,  show  her  to  have  been  imprudent  to 
the  verge  of  crime." 

"  Can  you  particularize  ?"  said  the  young  man. 

"  Well,  no  I  can't  just  do  that.  Mrs.  Anthony 
ran  on  at  such  a  rate  that  I  couldn't  get  the  affair 
adjusted  in  my  mind.  But  she  asserts  positively 
that  Mrs.  Dexter  has  gone  considerably  beyond  the 
boundary  of  prudence ;  and  she  is  no  friend  of 
Dexter's,  I  can  assure  you.  As  far  as  I  can  learn, 
there  have  been  frequent  meetings  between  this 
lover  and  Mrs.  Dexter  during  the  husband's  ab 
sence.  An  earlier  return  home,  a  few  days  ago, 
led  to  a  surprise  and  an  exposure.  The  result  you 
know." 

"  I  must  make  bold  to  pronounce  this  whole  story 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF  JESSIE   LORING.  263 

a  fabrication,"  said  Mr.  Hendrickson,  with  rising 
warmth ;  "  It  is  too  improbable." 

u  "Worse  things  than  that  have  happened,  and 
are  happening  every  day,"  remarked  Mrs.  Arden. 

"  Still  I  shall  disbelieve  the  story,"  said  Mr. 
Hendrickson,  firmly. 

"  "What  else  would  justify  him  in  sending  her 
home  to  her  aunt  2"  asked  Mrs.  Arden. 

"  He  sent  her  home,  then  ?    That  is  the  report  2" 
remarked  Hendrickson. 
.    '•  Some  say  one  thing  and  some  another." 

"  And  a  story  loses  nothing  in  the  repetition." 

"  You  are  very  skeptical,"  said  Miss  Arden. 

"  I  wish  all  men  and  women  were  more  skeptical 
than  they  are,  in  touching  the  wrong  doings  of 
others,"  replied  the  young  man.  "  The  world  is  not 
so  bad  as  it  seems.  Now  I  am  sure  that  if  the  truth 
of  this  affair  could  really  be  known,  we  should  find 
scarcely  a  single  fact  in  agreement  with  the  report. 
I  have  heard  that  Mr.  Dexter  is  blindly  jealous  of 
his  wife." 

"  Oh,  as  to  that,  Mrs.  Anthony  says  that  he  made 
himself  ridiculous  by  his  jealousy  at  Saratoga  last 
summer.  And  I  now  remember  that  he  used  to 
act  strangely  sometimes,"  said  Mrs.  Arden. 


264     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  J  OE, 

"  A  jealous  man,"  returned  Hendrickson,  "  is  a 
very  bad  judge  of  his  wife's  conduct;  and  more 
likely  to  see  guilt  than  innocence  in  any  circum 
stance  that  will  bear  a  double  explanation.  Let  us 
then  lean  to  the  side  of  charity,  and  suppose  good 
until  the  proof  of  evil  stares  us  in  the  very  face  ;  as 
I  shall  do  in  this  instance.  I  have  always  believed 
Mrs.  Dexter  to  be  the  purest  of  women ;  and  I 
believe  so  still." 

Both  Mrs.  Arden  and  her  daughter  seemed  an 
noyed  at  this  defence  of  a  woman  against 'whom 
they  had  so  readily  accepted  the  common  rumor. 
But  they  said  nothing  farther.  After  that  an  unusual 
embarrassment  marked  their  intercourse.  As  early 
as  he  could,  with  politeness,  retire,  Hendrickson 
went  away.  He  did  not  err  in  his  own  elucidation 
of  the  mystery  ;  for  he  remembered  well  the  vision 
of  Mrs.  Dexter's  face  at  the  window — her  instant 
sign  of  feeling — his  own  quick  but  not  meditated 
response — and  the  sudden  appearance  of  her  hus 
band,  whose  clouded  countenance  was  full  of  angry 
suspicion. 

"  To  this ! — and  so  soon  !"  said  Hendrickson  to 
himself,  as  he  left  the  house  of  Mrs.  Arden.  "  Oh, 
that  I  could  stretch  out  my  hand  to  save  her  1 — 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LORING.  265 

That  I  could  shield  her  from  the  tempests  ! — That  I 
could  shelter  her  from  the  burning  heats !  But  I 
cannot.  There  is  a  great  gulf  between  us,  and  I 
may  not  pass  to  her,  nor  she  to  me.  Oh,  my  soul ! 
is  this  separation  to  be  for  all  time  ?" 

There  was  rebellion  in  the  heart  of  Paul  Hen- 
drickson  when  he  reached  his  home ;  and  a  wild 
desire  to  overleap  all  barriers  of  separation. 

There  will  be  a  divorce  in  all  probability."  so  he 
began  talking  with  himself.  "  Jessie  will  never 
return  to  him  after  this  violent  separation  ;  and  he, 
after  a  time,  will  ask  to  have  the  marriage  annulled. 
He  will  not  be  able  to  bring  proof  of  evil  against 
her — will,  I  am  sure,  not  even  attempt  it ;  for  no 
evidence  exists.  But  her  steady  refusal  to  live  with 
him  as  his  wife,  will  enable  him,  it  may  be,  to  get 
a  divorce.  And  then  ! 

There  was  a  tone  of  exultation  in  his  voice  at  the 
closing  words. 

"  And  whosoever  marrieth  her  which  is  put  away, 
committeth  adultery." 

Hendrickson  started  to  his  feet,  his  face  as  pale 
as  ashes,  and  glanced  almost  fearfully  about  the 
room.     The  voice  seemed  spoken  in  the  air — but  it 
12 


266     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT  J  OK, 

was  not  so.     The  warning  had  reached  his  sense  of 
hearing  by  an  inner  way. 

Then  he  sat  down,  and  pondered  this  new  ques 
tion,  so  suddenly  presented  for  solution,  turning  it 
towards  every  light — viewing  it  now  from  the  side 
of  human  feeling  and  human  reason — and  now  with 
the  light  of  Divine  Revelation  shining  upon  it.  But 
he  was  not  satisfied.  The  letter  of  the  record  was 
against  him  ;  but  nature  cried  out  for  some  differ 
ent  reading.  At  length  he  made  an  effort  to  thrust 
the  subject  aside. 

"What  folly  is  this?"  he  said,  still  talking  with 
himself.  "  Wait !  wait !  wait ! — the  time  is  not 
yet.  Separation  only  exists.  There  is  no  divorce. 
The  great,  impassable  gulf  is  yet  between  us.  I 
cannot  go  to  her.  She  cannot  come  tome.  I  must 
wait,  hopefully,  if  not  patiently,  the  issue  of 
events." 

The  thoughts  of  Hendrickson  had  once  more  been 
turning  themselves  towards  Miss  Arden,  and  he  had 
felt  the  glow  of  warmer  feelings.  He  had  even 
begun  to  think  again  of  marriage. 

"  Let  that  illusion  go  !"  he  said.  "  It  must  no 
longer  tempt  me  to  the  commission  of  an  act  that 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF  JESSIE  LOEING.  267 

reason  and  conscience  both  pronounce  wrong.  I 
do  not  love  Mary  Arden  ;  therefore,  I  will  not  marry 
her.  I  settle  that  matter  now,  and  forever." 

And  the  decision  was  final.  He  did  not  visit 
her  again  for  many  months,  and  then  only  after  her 
engagement  to  another. 


268     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART;  OK, 


CHAPTER  XXIII. 

THERE  were  plenty  of  intrusive  friends  to  give 
Mr.  Dexter  advice  as  to  how  he  should  act  towards 
the  unhappy  woman  who  had  fled  from  Mm  in  her 
despair.  He  was  rich,  good-hearted — as  the  world 
goes — honorable,  domestic  in  his  feelings  and 
habits ;  everything,  in  fact,  that  society  requires  in 
the  composition  of  a  good  husband.  The  blame, 
therefore,  among  the  friends  of  Mr.  Dexter,  was  all 
on  the  side  of  his  wife. 

"  You  will,  of  course,  if  she  persists  in  this  un 
warrantable  conduct,  demand  a  legal  separation." 
said  one. 

"  That  is  just  what  she  wants,"  suggested 
another.  "  You  could  not  grant  her  a  higher 
favor." 

"  Wait — wait,"  was  the  advice  of  a  third. 

And  so  the  changes  were  rung.  Dexter  listened, 
pondered,  suffered  ;  but  admitted  no  one  into  the 
council  chamber  o'f  his  heart.  There  were  some 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOKING.  269 

things  known  only  to  himself  and  the  one  he  had 
driven  from  him,  which  he  did  not  care  to  reveal. 
The  shock  of  separation  had  rent  away  a  few  scales 
from  his  eyes,  and  his  vision  was  clearer ;  but  the 
clearer  vision  did  not  lessen  his  misery — for  self- 
upbraidings  crowded  in  wjth  the  illustrating  light. 

For  awhile,  jealous  suspicion  kept  him  watchfully 
alive  to  the  movements  of  Paul  Hendrickson.  In 
order  to  gain  the  most  undoubted  information  in 
regard  to  him,  he  secured  the  services  of  an  intelli 
gent  policeman,  who,  well  paid  for  his  work,  kept 
so  sharp  an  eye  upon  him,  that  he  was  able  to  report 
his  whereabouts  for  almost  every  hour  of  the  day 
and  evening. 

Days,  weeks,  months  even  passed,  and  the  police 
man's  report  varied  scarcely  a  sentence.  The 
range  of  Hendrickson's  movements  was  from  his 
place  of  business  to  his  lodgings.  Once  a  week, 
perhaps,  he  went  out  in  the  evening ;  but  never 
were  his  steps  directed  to  the  neighborhood  in  which 
the  object  of  his  waking  and  dreaming  thoughts 
resided. 

In  part,  this  knowledge  of  Hendrickson's  mode 
of  living  relieved  the  mind  of  Dexter ;  yet,  when 
viewed  in  certain  lights,  it  proved  a  cause  of  deeper 


270     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT ;  OE, 

disturbance.  His  conclusions  in  the  case  were  near 
the  truth.  Hendrickson's  withdrawal  of  himself 
from  society — his  hermit-like  life — his  sober  face 
and  musing  aspect — seemed  only  so  many  eviden 
ces  of  his  undying  love  for  Mrs.  Dexter.  That  an 
impassable  barrier  existed  betwen  them — that,  as 
things  were,  even  a  friendly  intercourse  would  be 
next  to  crime — Hendrickson  felt ;  and  Dexter's 
clearer  perceptions  awarded  him  a  just  conclusion 
in  this  particular. 

So  far  as  Mrs.  Dexter  was  concerned,  the  heavy 
curtain  that  fell  so  suddenly  between  her  and  the 
world  was  not  drawn  aside — not  uplifted — even  for 
a  moment.  Her  deep  seclusion  of  herself  was  nun- 
like.  Gradually  new  objects  of  interest — new  causes 
of  excitement — pressed  the  thought  of  her  aside,  and 
her  name  grew  a  less  and  less  familiar  sound  in 
fashionable  and  family  circles.  Some  thought  of  her 
as  a  wronged  woman — some  as  a  guilty  woman — 
yet  all  with  a  degree  of  sympathy. 

A  year  Mr.  Dexter  waited  for  some  sign  from  his 
wife.  But  if  the  grave  had  closed  over  her-,  the 
isolation  from  him  could  not  have  been  more  per 
fect.  He  then  sold  his  house,  removed  to  a  hotel, 
and  made  preparations  for  an  absence  in  Europe  of 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF  JESSIE   LORING.  271 

indefinite  continuance.  He  went,  and  was  gone  for 
over  two  years. — Returned,  and  almost  immediately 
on  his  arrival,  took  legal  steps  for  procuring  a  di- 
vorce.  Mrs.  Dexter  received  due  notice  of  these  pro 
ceedings,  based  simply  on  her  abandonment  of  her 
husband,  and  refusal  to  live  with  him  as  a  wife. 
But  she  remained  entirely  passive.  The  proceedings 
went  on,  and  in  due  time  Mr.  Dexter  obtained  what 
he  sought,  a  divorce.  Within  a  month  after  the 
decree  in  his  favor,  he  returned  across  the  At 
lantic. 

The  publication  of  this  decree  awakened  a  brief 
interest  in  Mrs.  Dexter — or  rather  in  plain  Jessie 
Loring,  as  she  was  now  in  legal  aspect.  But  the 
curious  public  were  not  able  to  acquire  any  satis 
factory  information  in  regard  to  her.  The  world 
in  which  she  lived  was  a  terra  incognita  to  them. 

The  next  exciting  news  which  came  in  this  con 
nection,  was  the  announcement  of  Dexter's  marriage 
with  an  English  heiress.  He  did  not  return  with 
her  to  the  United  States ;  but  remained  in  England, 
where  he  established  a  foreign  branch  of  the  mer 
cantile  house  in  which  he  was  a  partner,  and  took 
up  his  permanent  residence  beyond  the  sea. 


272     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT  ;  OK, 


CHAPTER  XXIV. 

Six  years  from  the  day  Jessie  Loring  laid  her 
bleeding  heart  on  the  marriage  altar  had  passed. 
For  over  three  years  of  that  time  she  had  not 
stepped  beyond  the  threshold  of  her  aunt's  dwelling, 
and  only  at  rare  intervals  was  she  seen  by  visitors. 
She  had  not  led  an  idle  life,  however ;  else  would 
her  days  long  ere  this  have  been  numbered.  To 
her  aunt  and  cousins  she  had,  from  the  day  of  her 
return,  devoted  herself,  in  all  things  wherein  she 
could  aid,  counsel,  minister,  or  sustain  ;  and  that 
with  so  much  of  patient  cheerfulness,  and  loving 
self-devotion,  that  she  had  become  endeared  to  them 
beyond  any  former  attachment.  There  was  an 
odor  of  goodness  about  her  life  that  made  her  pre 
sence  an  incentive  to  right  action. 

Long  before  this  period,  Mrs.  Loring  had  ceased 
all  eiforts  to  lead  Jessie  out  of  her  self-imposed 
seclusion. 

"  Not  yet,  dear  aunt !  Not  yet,"  was  the  invari 
able  answer. 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF  JESSIE   LOKING.  273 

The  day  on  which  she  received  formal  notice  that 
her  husband  had  applied  for  a  divorce,  she  shut 
herself  up  in  her  room,  and  did  not  leave  it,  nor 
hold  communion  with  any  one,  until  the  next  morn 
ing.  Then,  with  the  exception  of  a  wearied  look, 
as  if  she  had  not  slept  well,  and  a  shade  of  sadness 
about  her  lips,  no  change  was  discernible.  When 
the  decree,  annulling  the  marriage  between  her 
and  Dexter,  was -placed  in  her  hands,  she  seemed 
bewildered  for  a  time,  as  if  she  found  it  almost  im 
possible  to  realize  her  new  position. 

"  I  congratulate  you,  Jessie  Loring !"   said  her 

aunt,  speaking  from  her  external  view  of  the  case. 

^/ 
"  You  are  free  again.     Free  as  the  wind !" 

"This  does  not  place  me  where  J  was,"  Jessie    -v^ 
replied. 

"  "Why  not  ?  The  law  has  cancelled  your  mar 
riage  !"  said  Mrs.  Loring.  "  You  stand  in  your  old 
relation  to  the  world." 

"  But  not  to  myself,"  Jessie  answered  with  a     ^/ 
deep  sigh  ;  and  leaving  her  aunt,  she  went  away  to 
her  little  chamber,  there  to  sit  in  solemn  debate 
over  this  new  aspect  of  affairs  in  her  troubled  life. 

No — no.     She  did  not  stand  in  her  old  relation 
to  herself.     She  was  not  a  maiden  with  lips  free 
16* 


274:     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT  ;  OK, 

from  the  guile  of  a  false  marriage  promise ;  but  a 
«/     divorced  wife.     A  thing  questionably  recognized, 

V 

both  in  human  opinion  and  divine  law.  Deeply 
and  solemnly  did  this  conviction  weigh  upon  her 
thoughts.  Yiew  the  case  in  any  of  the  lights  which 
shone  into  her  mind,  she  could  not  discover  an  as 
pect  that  gave  her  real  comfort.  It  is  true  she  was 
free  from  all  legal  obligations  to  her  former  hus 
band,  and  that  was  something  gained.  But  what 
of  that  husband's  position  under  the  literal  reading 
of  the  divine  law  ?  No  doubt  he  contemplated 
marriage.  But  could  he  marry,  conscience  clear? 
Had  not  her  false  vows  cursed  both  their  lives  ? — 
imposed  on  each  almost  impossible  necessities  ? 

Such  were  the  questions  that  thrust  themselves 
spon  her,  and  clamored  for  solution. 

She  had  not  solved  them  when  the  intelligence 
eame  of  Mr.  Dexter's  marriage  in  England. 

"  I  have  news  that  will  surprise  you,"  said  Mrs. 
Loring,  coming  into  the  sitting-room  where  Jessie 
was  at  work  on  a  piece  of  embroidery. 

"  What  is  it  ?"  she  asked,  looking  up  almost  with 
a  start,  for  something  in  her  aunt's  manner  told  her 
that  she  had  a  personal  interest  in  the  news-. 

"  Mr.  Dexter  is  married  !" 


THE    LIFE-TRIALS    OF   JESSIE    LOSING.  275 

Instantly  a  pallor  overspread  Jessie's  face. 

"  Married  to  an  English  lady,"  said  Mrs.  Loring. 

Jessie  looked  at  her  aunt  for  a  little  while,  but 
without  a  remark.  She  then  turned  her  eyes  again 
upon  her  embroidery,  lifting  it  close  to  her  face. 
But  her  hand  trembled  so  that  she  could  not  take 
a  stitch. 

"I  hope  he's  satisfied  now,"  said  Mrs.  Loring. 
"  He's  married  an  heiress — so  the  story  goes  ;  and 
is  going  to  reside  with  her  in  England.  I'm  glad 
of  that  any  how.  It  might  not  be  so  pleasant  for 
you  to  meet  them — sensitive  thing  that  you  are ! 
But  it  wouldn't  trouble  me.  I  could  look  them 
both  in  the  face  and  not  blink.  Much  joy  may  he 
have  with  his  English  bride  !  Bless  me,  child,  how 
you  do  tremble !"  she  added,  as  she  noticed  the 
fingers  of  her  niece  trying  in  vain  to  direct  the 
needle  she  held  upon  the  face  of  the  embroidery. 
"  It's  nothing  more  than  you  had  to  expect.  And, 
besides,  what  is  Leon  Dexter  to  you  now  ?  Only 
as  another  man  ?" 

Jessie  arose  without  speaking,  and  kissing  her 
aunt  in  token  of  love,  passed  quickly  from  the 
room. 

"Dear!  dear!  what  a  strange  child  it  is !"  said 


276     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  ;  OB, 

Aunt  Loring,  as  she  wiped  off  a  tear  which  had 
fallen  from  Jessie's  eyes  upon  her  cheek.  "Just 
like  her  mother  for  all  the  world  in  some  things  " — • 
the  last  part  of  the  sentence  was  in  a  qualifying 
tone — •"  though,"  she  went  on,  "  her  mother  hadn't 
anything  like  her  trials  to  endure.  Oh,  that  Dex 
ter  !  if  1  only  had  my  will  of  him  !" 

And  Aunt  Loring,  in  her  rising  indignation, 
actually  clenched  her  hand  and  shook  it  in  the  air. 

"  It  has  come  to  this  at  last,"  said  Jessie  as  soon 
as  she  had  gained  the  sanctuary  of  her  little  cham 
ber,  where  she  could  think  without  interruption. 
And  I  knew  it  must  come ;  but  oh,  how  I  have 
dreaded  the  event !  Is  he  innocent  in  the  sight  of 
heaven  ?  Ah,  if  I  could  only  have  that  question 
answered  in  the  affirmative,  a  crushing  weight 
would  be  lifted  from  my  soul.  If  he  is  not  innocent, 
the  stain  of  his  guilt  rests  upon  my  garments !  He 
is  not  alone  responsible.  Who  can  tell  'the  conse 
quences  of  a  single  false  step  in  life  ?" 

From  a  small  hanging  shelf  she  took  a  Bible,  and 
opening  to  a  marked  page,  read  over  three  or  four 
verses  with  earnest  attention. 

"  I  can  see  no  other  meaning,"  she  said  with  a 
painful  sigh,  closing  the  book  and  restoring  it  to  its 


THE   LIFE-TKIALS   OF  JESSIE   LORING.  277 

place  on  the  shelf.  It  was  all  in  vain  that  Jessie 
Loring  sought  for  light  and  comfort  in  this  direc 
tion.  They  were  not  found.  When  she  joined  her 
aunt,  some  hours  afterwards,  her  face  had  not  re 
gained  its  former  placidity. 

"Well,  dear,"  said  Mrs.  Loring,  speaking  in 
what  sounded  to  the  ear  of  her  niece  a  light  toue, 
"  have  you  got  it  all  right  with  yourself?" 

Jessie  smiled  faintly,  and  merely  answered — 

"It  will  take  time.  But  I  trust  that  all  will 
come  out  truly  adjusted  in  the  end." 

She  had  never  ventured  to  bring  to  her  aunt's 
very  external  judgment  the  real  questions  that 
troubled  her.  Mrs.  Loring's  prompt  way  of  sweep 
ing  aside  these  cobwebs  of  the  brain,  as  she  called 
the  finer  scruples  of  conscience,  could  not  satisfy 
her  yearning  desire  for  light. 

"Yes;  time  works  wonders.  He  is  the  great 
restorer.  But  why  not  see  clearly  at  once ;  and 
not  wait  in  suffering  for  time's  slow  movements  ? 
I  am  a  wiser  philosopher  than  you  are,  Jessie  ;  and 
try  to  gain  from  the  present  all  that  it  has  to  give." 

"  Some  hearts  require  a  severer  discipline  than 
others,"  said  Jessie.  "  And  mine,  I  think,  is  one 
of  them." 


278     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  J  OR, 

"  All  that  is  sickly  sentiment,  my  dear  child  !  as 
I  have  said  to  you  a  hundred  times.  It  is  not  sha 
dow,  but  sunshine  that  your  heart  wants — not  dis 
cipline,  but  consolation — not  doubt,  but  hope.  You 
are  as  untrue  to  yourself  as  the  old  anchorites. 
These  self-inflicted  stripes  are  horrible  to  think  of, 
for  the  pain  is  not  salutary,  but  only  increases  the 
morbid  states  of  mind  that  ever  demand  new  flagel 
lations." 

"  We  are  differently  made,  Aunt  Phoebe,"  was 
the  quiet  answer. 

"  No,  we  are  not,  but  we  make  ourselves  differ 
ent,"  replied  Mrs.  Loring  a  little  hastily. 

"  The  world  would  be  a  very  dead-level  affair,  if 
we  were  all  made  alike,"  said  Jessie,  forcing  a 
smile,  and  assuming  a  lighter  air,  in  order  to  lead  her 
aunt's  mind  away  from  the  thought  of  her  as  too 
painfully  disturbed  by  the  announcement  of  Mr. 
Dexter's  marriage.  And  she  was  successful.  The 
subject  was  changed  to  one  of  a  less  embarrassing 
character.  And  this  was  all  of  the  inner  life  of 
Jessie  Loring  that  showed  itself  on  the  surface. 


THE   LIFE-TEIALS   OF  JESSIE   LOKING.  279 


CHAPTER 

AND  what  of  Paul  Hendrickson  during  these 
years  of  isolation,  in  which  no  intelligence  could  be 
gained  of  Jessie,  beyond  vague  rumors?  For  a 
time,  he  secluded  himself.  Then  he  returned  to  a 
few  of  the  old  social  circles,  not  much  changed  to 
the  common  eye.  His  countenance  was  a  little 
graver ;  his  voice  a  little  lower ;  his  manner  a  trifle 
more  subdued.  But  he  was  a  cheerful,  intelligent 
companion,  and  always  a  welcome  guest. 

To  no  one,  not  even  to  his  old  friend,  Mrs.  Deni- 
son,  did  he  speak  of  Mrs.  Dexter.  What  right  had 
he  to  speak  of  her  ?  She  was  still  the  lawful  wife 
of  another  man,  though  separated  from  him  by  her 
own  act.  But  not  to  think  of  her  was  as  impossible 
as  not  to  think  at  all — not  to  gaze  upon  her  image 
as  impossible  as  to  extinguish  the  inner  vision. 
She  was  always  by  his  side,  in  spirit;  her  voice 
always  in  his  ears ;  her  dear  face  always  before  him. 
"  The  cup  is  dashed  to  pieces  at  my  feet,  and  the 


280     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  J  OE, 

precious  wine  spilled  !"  How  many,  many,  many 
times,  each  day,  did  he  hear  these  words  uttered, 
always  in  that  sad,  half-desponding  voice  that  first 
brought  them  to  his  ears ;  and  they  kept  hope  in 
the  future  alive. 

The  separation  which  had  taken  place  Hendrick- 
son  regarded  as  one  step  in  the  right  direction. 
When  the  application  for  a  divorce  was  made,  he 
hailed  it  with  a  degree  of  inward  satisfaction  that 
a  little  startled  himself.  "  It  is  another  step  in  the 
right  direction,"  he  said,  on  the  instant's  impulse. 

Reflection  a  little  sobered  him.  "  Even  if  the 
divorce  is  granted,  what  will  be  her  views  of  the 
matter?" 

There  came  no  satisfactory  answer  to  this  query. 

A  thick  curtain  still  veiled  the  future.  Many 
doubts  troubled  him. 

Next,  in  the  order  of  events,  came  the  decision 
by  which  the  marriage  contract  between  Dexter 
and  his  wife  was  annulled.  On  the  evening  of  the 
same  day  on  which  the  court  granted  the  petitioner's 
prayer,  Hendrickson  called  upon  Mrs.  Denison. 
She  saw  the  moment  he  came  in  that  he  was  excit 
ed  about  something. 

"  Have  you  heard  the  news  ?"  he  inquired. 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOEING.  281 

"  What  news  ?"  Mrs.  Deulson  looked  at  him 
curiously. 

"  Leon  Dexter  has  obtained  a  divorce." 

"Has  he?" 

"  Yes.  And  so  that  long  agony  is  over  !  She  is 
free  again." 

Hendrickson  was  not  able  to  control  the  intense 
excitement  he  felt. 

Mrs.  Denison  looked  at  him  soberly  and  with 
glances  of  inquiry. 

"  You  understand  me,  I  suppose  ?" 

"  Perhaps  I  do,  perhaps  not,"  she  answered. 

"  Mrs.  Denison,"  said  the  young  man,  with  in 
creasing  excitement,  "I  need  scarcely  say  to  you 
that  my  heart  has  never  swerved  from  its  first  idol 
atry.  To  love  Jessie  Loring  was  an  instinct  of  my 
nature — therefore,  to  love  her  once  was  to  love  her 
forever.  You  know  how  cruelly  circumstances 
came  with  their  impassable  barriers.  They  were 
only  barriers,  and  destroyed  nothing. '  As  brightly 
as  ever  burned  the  fires — as  ardently  as  ever  went 
forth  love's  strong  impulses  with  every  heart-beat. 
And  her  heart  remained  true  to  mine  as  ever  was 
needle  to  the  pole." 

"  That   is  a  bold    assertion,   Paul,"  said    Mrs. 


282     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  J  OB, 

Denison,  "  and  one  that  it  pains  me  to  hear  you 
make." 

"  It  is  true ;  but  why  does  it  give  you  pain  ?"  he 
asked. 

"  Because  it  intimates  the  existence  of  an  under 
standing  between  you  and  Mrs.  Dexter,  and  looks 
to  the  confirmation  of  rumors  that  I  have  always 
considered  as  without  a  shadow  of  foundation." 

"  My  name  has  never  been  mentioned  in  connec 
tion  with  hers." 

"It  has." 

"  Mrs.  Denison !" 

"  It  is  true." 

"  I  never  heard  it." 

"  Nor  I  but  once." 

"  What  was  said  ?" 

"  That  you  were  the  individual  against  whom 
Mr.  Dexter's  jealousy  was  excited,  and  that  your 
clandestine  meetings  with  his  wife  led  to  the  separ 
ation." 

"I  had  believed,"  said  Heudrickson,  after  a 
pause,  and  in  a  voice  that  showed  a  depression  of 
feeling,  "  that  busy  rumor  had  never  joined  our 
names  together.  That  it  has  done  so,  I  deeply 
regret.  No  voluntary  action  of  mine  led  to  this 


THE   LIFE-TKIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOKING.  283 

result;  and  it  was  my  opinion  that  Dexter  had 
carefully  avoided  any  mention  of  my  name,  even 
to  his  most  intimate  friends." 

"  I  only  heard  the  story  once,  and  then  gave  it 
my  emphatic  denial,"  said  Mrs.  Denison. 

"  And  yet  it  was  true,  I  believe,  though  in  a 
qualified  sense.  We  did  meet,  not  clandestinely, 
however,  nor  with  design." 

"  Bat  without  a  thought,  much  less  a  purpose  of 
dishonor,"  said  Mrs.  Denison,  almost  severely. 

"  Without  even  a  thought  of  dishonor,"  replied 
Hendrickson.  "  Both  were  incapable  of  that.  She 
arrived  at  Newport  when  I  was  there.  We  met, 
suddenly  and  unexpectedly,  face  to  face,  and  when 
off  our  guard.  I  read  her  heart,  and  she  read  mine, 
in  lightning  glimpses.  The  pages  were  shut  in 
stantly,  and  not  opened  again.  We  met  once  or 
twice  after  that,  but  as  mere  acquaintances,  and  I 
left  on  the  day  after  she  came,  because  I  saw  that 
the  discipline  was  too  severe  for  her,  and  that  I  was 
not  only  in  an  equivocal,  but  dangerous,  if  not  dis 
honorable  position.  Dexter  had  his  eyes  on  me  all 
the  while,  and  if  I  crossed  his  path  suddenly  he 
looked  as  if  he  would  have  destroyed  me  with  a 
glance.  The  fearful  illness,  which  came  so.  near 


284:    THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAET  ;  OE, 

extinguishing  the  life  of  Mrs.  Dexter,  was,  I  have 
never  doubted,  in  consequence  of  that  meeting  and 
circumstances  springing  directly  therefrom.  A 
friend  of  mine  had  a  room  adjoining  theirs  at  New 
port,  and  he  once  said  to  me,  without  imagining  my 
interest  in  the  case,  that  on  the  day  before  Mrs. 
Dexter's  illness  was  known,  he  had  heard  her  voice 
pitched  to  a  higher  key  than  usual,  and  had  caught 
a  few  words  that  too  clearly  indicated  a  feeling  of 
outrage  for  some  perpetrated  wrong.  There  was 
stern  defiance  also,  he  said,  in  her  tones.  He  was 
pained  at  the  circumstance,  for  he  had  met  Mrs. 
Dexter  frequently,  he  said,  at  Newport,  and  was 
charmed  with  her  fine  intelligence  and  womanly 

''  0  ' 

attractions. 

"Once  after  that  we  looked  into  each  other's 
faces,  and  only  once.  And  then,  as  before,  we  read 
the  secret  known  only  to  ourselves — but  without 
design.  I  was  passing  her  residence — it  was  the 
first  time  I  had  permitted  myself  even  to  "go  into 
the  neighborhood  where  she  lived,  since  her  return 
from  Newport.  Now  something  drew  me  that 
way,  and  yielding  to  the  impulse,  I  took  the  street 
on  which  her  dwelling  stood,  and  ere  a  thought  of 
honor  checke  '  my  footsteps,  was  by  her  door.  A 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF  JESSIE   LORING.  285 

single  glance  at  one  of  the  parlor  windows  gave  me 
the  vision  of  her  pale  face,  so  attenuated  by  sick 
ness  and  suffering,  that  the  sight  filled  me  with 
instant  pity,  and  fired  my  soul  with  a  deeper  love. 
What  my  countenance  expressed  I  do  not  know. 
It  must  have  betrayed  my  feelings,  for  I  was  off 
my  guard.  Her  face  was  as  the  page  of  a  book 
suddenly  opened.  I  read  it  without  losing  the 
meaning  of  a  word.  There  *was  a  painful  sequel  to 
this.  The  husband  of  Mrs.  Dexter,  as  if  he  had 
started  from  the  ground,  confronted  me  on  the  in 
stant.  "Which  way  he  came — whether  he  had  fol 
lowed  me,  or  advanced  by  an  opposite  direction,  I 
know  not.  But  there  he  stood,  and  his  flashing 
eyes  read  both  of  our  unveiled  faces.  The  expres 
sion  of  his  countenance  was  almost  fiendish. 

"  I  passed  on,  without  pause  or  start.  Nothing 
more  than  the  answering  glances  he  had  seen  was 
betrayed.  But  the  consequences  w^re  final.  It 
was  on  that  day  that  Mrs.  Dexter  left  her  husband, 
never  again  to  hold  with  him  any  communication. 
I  have  scarcely  dared  permit  myself  to  imagine 
what  transpired  on  that  occasion.  The  outrage  on 
his  part  must  have  been  extreme,  or  the  desperate 
alternative  of  abandonment  would  never  have 
been  taken  by  such  a  woman. 


286     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAET  ;  OE, 

"  There,  my  good  friend  and  aforetime  counsel 
lor,"  added  Hendrickson,  "  you  have  the  unvar 
nished  story.  A  stern  necessity  drew  around  each 
of  us  bands  of  iron.  Yet  we  have  been  true  to 
ourselves — and  that  means  true  to  honor.  But  now 
the  darker  features  of  the  case  are  changed.  She 
is  no  longer  the  wife  of  Leon  Dexter.  The  law  has 
shattered  every  link  of  the  accursed  chain  that  held 
her  in  such  a  loathsome  bondage." 

He  paused,  for  the  expression  of  Mrs.  Denison's 
countenance  was  not  by  any  means  satisfactory. 

"  Right,  so  far,"  said  Mrs.  Denison.  "  I  cannot 
see  that  either  was  guilty  of  wrong,  or  even  impru 
dence.  But  I  am  afraid,  Paul,  that  you  are  spring 
ing  to  conclusions  with  too  bold  a  leap." 

"  Do  not  say  that,  Mrs.  Denison." 

He  spoke  quickly,  and  with  a  suddenly  shadowed 
face. 

"  Your  meaning  is  very  plain,"  was  answered. 
"  It  is  this.  A  divorce  having  been  granted  to  the 
prayer  of  Mr.  Dexter,  his  wife  is  now  free  to  marry 
again." 

"Yes,  that  is  my  meaning,"  said  Hendrickson, 
looking  steadily  into  the  face  of  Mrs.  Denison. 
She  merely  shook  her  head  in  a  grave,  quiet  way. 

Hendrickson    drew   a   long  breath,   then    com- 


THE  LIFE-TKIALS   OF  JESSIE   LORING.  287 

pressed  his  lips — but  still  looked  into  the  face  of 
his  friend. 

"  There  are  impediments  yet  in  the  way,"  said 
Mrs.  Denison. 

"  I  know  what  you  think.  The  Divine  law  is 
superior  to  all  human  enactments." 

"Is  it  not  so,  Paul?" 

"If  I  was  certain  as  to  the  Divine  law,"  said 
Hendrickson. 

"  The  record  is  very  explicit." 

"  Read  in  the  simple  letter,  I  grant  that  it  is. 
But " 

"  Paul !  It  grieves  me  to  throw  an  icy  chill 
over  your  ardent  feelings,"  said  Mrs.  Denison, 
interrupting  him.  "  But  you  may  rest  well  assured 
of  one  thing  :  Jessie  Loring,  though  no  longer  Mrs. 
Dexter,  will  not  consider  herself  free  to  marry 
again." 

"  Do  you  know  her  views  on  this  subject  ?"  asked 
the  young  man,  quickly. 

"I  think  I  know  the  woman.  In  the  spirit  of  a 
martyr  she  took  up  her  heavy  cross,  and  bore  it 
while  she  had  strength  to  stand.  The  martyr  spirit 
is  not  dead  in  her.  It  will  not  die  while  life  re 
mains.  In  the  fierce  ordeals  through  which  she 


288     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT  ;  OK, 

has  passed,  she  has  learned  to  endure  ;  and  now 
weak  nature  must  yield,  if  in  any  case  opposed  to 
duty." 

"  Have  you  met  her  of  late  ?"  inquired  the  young 
man,  curiously. 

"  No,  but  I  talked  with  Mrs.  De  Lisle  about  her 
not  long  ago.  Mrs.  De  Lisle  is  her  most  intimate 
friend,  and  knows  her  better,  perhaps,  than  any 
other  living  person." 

"  And  what  does  she  say  ?  Have  you  conversed 
with  her  on  this  subject  ?" 

"  No ;  but  I  have  learned  enough  from  her  in  re 
gard  to  Jessie's  views  of  life  and  duty,  as  well  as 
states  of  religious  feeling,  to  be  justified  in  saying 
that  she  will  not  consider  a  court's  decree  of  suffi 
cient  authority  in  the  case.  Alas !  my  young 
friend,  I  cannot  see  cause  for  gratulation  so  far  as 
you  are  concerned.  To  her,  the  act  of  divorce  way 
give  a  feeling  of  relief.  A  dead  weight  is  stricken 
from  her  limbs.  She  can  walk  and  breathe  more 
freely  ;  but  she  will  not  consider  herself  wholy  un 
trammelled.  Nor  would  I.  Paul,  Paul !  the  gulf 
that  separates  you  is  still  impassable  !  But  do  not 
despair !  Bear  up  bravely,  manfully  still.  Six 
years  of  conflict,  discipline,  and  stern  obedience  to 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LORING.  289 

duty  have  made  you  more  worthy  of  a  union  with 
that  pure  spirit  than  you  were  when  you  saw  her 
borne  from  your  eager,  outstretched  arms.  Her 
mind  is  ripening  heavenward — let  yours  ripen  in 
that  direction  also.  You  cannot  mate  with  her,  my 
friend,  in  the  glorious  hereafter,  unless  you  are  of 
equal  purity.  Oh,  be  patient,  yet  hopeful !" 

Hendrickson  had  bowed  his  head,  and  was  now 
sitting  with  his  eyes  upon  the  floor.  He  did  not 
answer  after  Mrs.  Denison  ceased  speaking,  but 
still  sat  deeply  musing. 

"  It  is  a  hard  saying  !"  He  had  raised  his  eyes 
to  the  face  of  his  maternal  friend.  "  A  hard  saying, 
and  hard  to  bear.  Oh,  there  is  something  so  like 
the  refinement  of  cruelty  in  these  stern  events  which 
hold  us  apart,  that  I  feel  at  times  like  questioning 
the  laws  that  imposed  such  fearful  restrictions. 
"We  are  one  in  all  the  essentials  of  marriage,  Mrs. 
Denison.  Why  are  we  thus  sternly  held  apart  ?" 

"  It  is  one  of  the  necessities  of  our  fallen  nature," 
Mrs.  Denison  replied,  in  her  calm,  yet  earnest 
voice,  "  that  spiritual  virtues  can  only  have  birth 
in  pain.  We  rise  into  the  higher  regions  of  heavenly 
purity  only  after  the  fires  have  tried  us.  Some 
natures,  as  you  know,  demand  a  severer  discipline 


290     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAET  ;  OE, 

than  others.  Yours,  I  think,  is  one  of  them. 
Jessie's  is  another.  But  after  the  earthly  dross  of 
your  souls  is  consumed,  the  pure  gold  will  flow 
together,  I  trust,  at  the  bottom  of  the  same  crucibfe. 
Wait,  my  friend;  wait  longer.  The  time  is  not 
yet." 

A  sadder  man  than  when  he  came,  did  Mr.  Hen- 
drickson  leave  the  house  of  Mrs.  Denison  on  that 
day.  She  had  failed  to  counsel  him  according  to 
his  wishes ;  but  her  words,  though  they  had  not 
carried  full  conviction  to  his  clouded  understanding, 
had  shown  him  a  goal  still  far  in  advance,  towards 

X 

which  all  of  true  manhood  in  him  felt  the  impulse 
to  struggle. 


THE   LIFE-TKIALS   OF   JESSIE   LORING.  291 


CHAPTER  XXVI. 

WHEN  the  news  of  Mr.  Dexter's  second  marriage 
reached  Mr.  Hendrickson,  he  said : 

"  Now  she  is  absolved  !"  but  his  friend  Mrs. 
Denison,  replied : 

"  I  doubt  if  she  will  so  consider  it.  ISTo  act  of 
Mr.  Dexter's  can  alter  her  relation  to  the  Divine 
law.  I  am  one  of  these  who  cannot  regard  him  as 
wholly  innocent.  And  yet  his  case  is  an  extreme 
one ;  for  his  wife's  separation  was  as  final  as  if  death 
had  broken  the  bond.  But  I  will  not  judge  him  ; 
he  is  the  keeper  of  his  own  conscience,  and  the  All- 
Wise  is  merciful  in  construction." 

"  I  believe  Jessie  Loring  to  be  as  free  to  give  her 
hand  as  before  her  marriage/' 

"  With  her  will  rest  the  decision,"  was  Mrs. 
Denison's  answer. 

"  Have  yon  seen  her  ?"  inquired  Hendrickson. 

"No." 

"  Has  she  been  seen  outside  of  her  aunt's  dwell 
ing?" 


292     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT  ;  OK, 

"  If  so  I  have  never  heard  of  it." 

"  Do  you  think,  if  I  were  to  call  at  Mrs.  Loring's, 
she  would  see  me?" 

"  I  cannot  answer  the  question." 

"  But  what  is  your  opinion  ?" 

"  If  I  were  you,"  said  Mrs.  Denison,  "  I  would 
not  call  at  present." 

"  Why." 

"This  act  of  her  former  husband  is  too  recent. 
Let  her  have  time  to  get  her  mind  clear  as  to  her 
new  relation.  She  may  break  through  her  seclu 
sion  now,  and  go  abroad  into  society  again.  If  so 
you  will  meet  her  without  the  constraint  of  a  pri 
vate  interview." 

"But  she  may  still  shut  herself  outHfrom  the 
world.  Isolation  may  have  become  a  kind  of 
second  nature." 

"  We  shall  see,"  replied  Mrs.  Denison.  But  for 
the  present  I  think  it  will  be  wiser  to  wait." 

Weeks,  even  months,  passed,  and  Paul  Hen- 
drickson  waited  in  vain.  He  was  growing  very 
impatient. 

"  I  must  see  her !  Suspense  like  this  is  intolera 
ble  !"  he  said,  coming  in  upon  Mrs.  'Denison  one 
evening. 


THE   LIFE-TBIALS    OF   JESSIE   LOKING.  293 

"  I  warn  you  against  it,"  replied  Mrs.  Denison. 

"  I  cannot  heed  the  warning." 

"  Her  life  is  very  placid,  I  am  told  by  Mrs.  De 
Lisle.  Would  you  throw  its  elements  again  into 
wild  disturbance  ?" 

"  No  ;  I  would  only  give  them  their  true  acti 
vity.  All  is  stagnation  now.  I  would  make  her 
life  one  thrill  of  conscious  joy." 

"  I  have  conversed  with  Mrs.  De  Lisle  on  this 
subject,"  said  Mrs.  Denison. 

"  You  have  ?     And  what  does  she  say  ?" 

"  She  understands  the  whole  case.  I  concealed 
nothing — was  I  right  ?" 

"  Yes.     But  go  on." 

"  She  does  not  think  that  Jessie  will  marry  dur 
ing  the  lifetime  of  Mr.  Dexter,"  said  Mrs.  Deni 
son. 

Hendrickson  became  pale. 

"  I  fear,"  he  remarked,  "  that  I  did  not  read  her 
heart  aright.  I  thought  that  we  were  conjoined  in 
spirit.  Oh,  if  I  have  been  in  error  here,  the  wreck 
is  hopeless !" 

116  showed  a  sudden  and  extreme  depression. 

"  I  think  you  have  not  erred,  Paul.  But  if 
Jessie  regards  the  conditions  of  divorce,  given  in 


294:     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  ;  OE, 

Matthew,  as  binding,  she  is  too  pure  and  true  a 
woman  ever  to  violate  them.  All  depends  upon 
that.  She  could  not  be  happy  with  you,  if  her  con 
science  were  burdened  with  the  conviction  that 
your  marriage  was  not  legal  in  the  Divine  sense. 
Don't  you  see  how  such  an  act  would  depress  her  ? 
Don't  you  see  that,  in  gaining  her,  you  would  sacri 
fice  the  brightest  jewel  in  her  crown  of  woman 
hood?" 

"  Does  Mrs.  De  Lisle  know  her  views  on  this 
subject?"  he  asked. 

"Yes." 

A  quick  flush  mantled  Hendrickson's  face. 

"  Well,  what  are  they  ?"  He  questioned  eagerly, 
and  in  a  nusky  voice. 

"  She  reads  the  law  in  Matthew  and  in  Luke, 
literally." 

"The  cup  is  indeed  broken,  and  the  precious 
wine  spilled  !"  exclaimed  the  unhappy  man,  rising 
in  strong  agitation. 

"  Paul,"  said  Mrs.  Denison,  after  this  agitation 
had  in  a  measure  passed  away  ;  "  all  this  I  can  well 
understand  to  be  very  hard  for  one  who  has  been 
so  patient,  so  true,  so  long  suffering.  But  think 
calmly ;  and  then  ask  yourself  this  question  :  Would 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF  JESSIE   LOKING.  295 

you  be  willing  to  marry  Jessie  Loring  while  she 
holds  her  present  views  ?" 

Hendrickson  bent  his  head  to  think. 

"  She  believes,"  said  Mrs.  Denison,  "  that  such  a 
marriage  would  be  adulterous.  I  put  the  matter 
before  you  in  its  plainest  shape.  Now,  my  friend, 
are  you  prepared  to  take  a  woman  for  your  wife 
who  is  ready  to  come  to  you  on  such  terms?  I 
think  not.  No,  not  even  if  her  name  be  Jessie 
Loring." 

"I  thank  you,  my  friend,  for  setting  me  com 
pletely  right,"  said  Hendrickson.  He  spoke  sadly, 
yet  with  the  firmness  of  a  true  man.  "  I  have  now 
but  one  favor  to  ask.  Learn  from  her  own  lips,  if 
possible,  her  real  sentiments  on  this  subject." 

"  I  will  do  so." 

"  Without  delay  ?" 

"  Yes.  To-morrow  I  will  see  Mrs.  De  Lisle,  and 
confer  with  her  on  the  subject,  and  then  at  the 
earliest  practical  moment  call  with  her  upon 
Jessie." 

Two  days  afterwards,  Mr.  Hendrickson  received 
a  note  from  his  friend,  asking  him  to  call. 

"  You  have  seen  her  ?" 

The  young  man  was  paler  than  usual,  but  calm. 


296     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  ;  OE, 

His  voice  was  not  eagerly  expectant,  but  rather 
veiled  with  sadness,  as  if  he  had  weighed  all  the 
chances  in  his  favor,  and  made  up  his  mind  for  the 
worst. 

"  I  have,"  replied  Mrs.  Denison. 

"She  is  much  changed,  I  presume?" 

"I  would  scarcely  have  known  her,"  was  an 
swered. 

"  In  what  is  she  changed  ?" 

"  She  has  been  growing  less  of  the  earth  earthy, 
in  all  these  years  of  painful  discipline.  You  see 
this  in  her  changed  exterior ;  your  ear  perceives  it 
in  the  tones  of  her  voice ;  your  mind  answers  to  it 
in  the  pure  sentiments  that  breathe  from  her  lips. 
Her  very  presence  gives  an  atmosphere  of  heavenly 
tranquillity." 

It  was  some  moments  before  Hendrickson  made 
further  remark.  He  then  said  : 

"  How  long  a  time  were  you  with  her,  Mrs. 
Denison  ?" 

"We  spent  over  an  hour  in  her  company." 

"  "Was  my  name  mentioned  ?" 

"No." 

"  Nor  the  subject  in  which  I  feel  so  deep  an  in 
terest?" 


THE   LIFE-TKIALS  OF  JESSIE  LOSING.  297 

"  Yes,  we  spoke  of  that !" 

"  And  you  were  not  in  error  as  to  her  decision  of 
the  case  ?" 

Hendrickson  manifested  no  excitement. 

"  I  was  not." 

He  dropped  his  eyes  again  to  the  floor,  and  sat 
musing  for  some  time. 

"She  does  not  consider  herself  free  to  marry 
again  ?" 

He  looked  up  with  a  calm  face. 

"  No." 

There  was  a  sigh ;  a  falling  of  the  eyes ;  and  a 
long,  quiet  silence. 

"I  was  prepared  for  it,  my  friend,"  he  said, 
speaking  almost  mournfully.  "  Since  our  last  inter 
view,  I  have  thought  on  this  subject  a  great  deal, 
and  looked  at  it  from  another  point  of  vision.  I 
hare  imagined  myself  in  her  place,  and  then  pon 
dered  the  Record.  It  seemed  more  imperative. 
I  could  not  go  past  it,  and  yet  regard  myself  in 
nocent,  or  pure.  It  seemed  a  hard  saying — but  it 
was  said.  The  mountain  was  impassable.  And  so 
I  came  fortified  for  her  decision." 

"  Would  you  have  had  it  otherwise  ?"  Mrs.  Den- 
ison  asked. 


298     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART?  OR, 

Heudrickson  did  not  answer  at  once.  The  ques 
tion  evidently  disturbed  him. 

"  The  heart  is  very  weak,"  he  said  at  length. 

"  But  virtue  is  strong  as  another  Samson,"  Mrs. 
Denison  spoke  quickly. 

"  Her  decision  does  not  produce  a  feeling  of  alien 
ation.  I  am  not  angry:  She  stands,  it  is  true, 
higher  up  and  further  off,  invested  with  saintly 
garments.  If  she  is  purer,  I  must  be  worthier.  I 
can  only  draw  near  in  spirit — and  there  can  be  no 
spiritual  nearness  without  a  likeness  of  quality.  If 
the  stain  of  earth  is  not  to  be  found  on  her  vesture, 
mine  must  be  white  as  snow." 

"  It  is  by  fire  we  are  purified,  my  friend,"  an 
swered  Mrs.  Denison,  speaking  with  unusual  feel 
ing. 

Not  many  weeks  after  this  interview  with  Mrs. 
Denison,  she  received  a  communication  from  Hen- 
drickson  that  filled  her  with  painful  surprise.  It 
ran  thus : 

MT  BEST  FRIEND: — When  this  comes  into  your 
hands,  I  shall  be  away  from  B .  It  is  pos 
sible  that  I  may  never  return  again.  I  do  not  take 
this  step  hastily,  but  after  deep  reflection,  and  in 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOKING.  299 

the  firm  conviction  that  I  am  right.  If  I  remain, 
the  probabilities  are  that  I  shall  meet  Jessie  Lor- 
ing,  who  will  come  forth  gradually  from  her  seclu 
sion  ;  and  I  am  not  strong  enough,  nor  cold  enough 
for  that.  Nor  do  I  think  our  meeting  would  make 
the  stream  of  her  life  more  placed.  It  has  run  in 
wild  waves  long  enough — the  waters  have  been 
turbid  long  enough — and  mine  is  not  the  hand  to 
swirl  it  with  a  single  eddy.  No — no.  My  love,  I 
trust,  is  of  purer  essence.  I  would  bless,  not 
curse — brighten,  not  cloud  the  horizon  of  her 
life. 

"  And  so  I  recede  as  she  comes  forth  into  the 
open  day,  and  shall  hide  myself  from  her  sight. 
As  she  advances  by  self  denials  and  holy  charities 
towards  celestial  purity,  may  I  advance  also,  fast 
enough  at  least  not  to  lose  sight  of  her  in  the  far 
off  distance. 

"  You  will  meet  her  often,  from  this  time,  dear, 
true,  faithful  friend  !  And  I  pray  you  to  keep  my 
memory  green  "in  her  heart.  Not  with  such  bold 
reference  as  shall  disturb  its  tranquil  life.  Oh,  do 
not  give  her  pain  !  But  with  gentle  insinuations  ; 
so  that  the  thought  of  me  have  no  chance  to  die.  I 
will  keep  unspotted  from  the  world  ;  yet  will  I  not 


300     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  ;  OK, 

withdraw  myself,  but  manfully  take  my  place  and 
do  battle  for  the  right. 

"And  now,  best  of  friends,  farewell!  I  go  out 
into  the  great  world,  to  be  absorbed  from  observa 
tion  in  the  crowd.  But  my  heart  will  remain 
among  the  old  places,  and  beat  ever  faithful  to  its 
early  loves. 

"PAUL  HENDEICKSON." 

He  had  withdrawn  himself  from  all  business  con 
nections,  and  sold  his  property.  With  his  small 
fortune,  realized  by  active,,  intelligent  industry,  and 
now  represented  by  Certificates  of  Deposit  in  three 
.  of  the  city  banks,  he  vanished  from  among  those 
who  had  known  and  respected  him  for  years,  and 
left  not  a  sign  of  the  direction  he  had  taken.  Even 
idle  rumor,  so  usually  unjust,  did  him  no  wrong. 
He  had  been,  in  all  his  actions,  too  true  a  man  for 
even  suspicion  to  touch  his  name. 


THE   LIFE-TKIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOSING.  301 


CHAPTER  XXYH. 

As  Hendrickson  had  rightly  supposed,.  Jessie 
Loring  came  forth  from  her  seclusion  of  years.  Not 
all  at  once,  but  by  gradual  intrusions  upon  the 
social  life  around  her.  At  first  she  went  abroad  on 
a  mission  of  charity.  Then  her  friend  Mrs.  De 
Lisle,  drew  her  to  her  house,  and  there  a  new  face 
that  interested  her  awakened  a  new  impulse  in  her 

'ml.  And  so  the  work  went  on,  and  ere  long  she 
was  in  part  restored  to  society.  But  how  different 
from  the  one  who  had  withdrawn  from  it  years 
before !  Suffering  and  discipline  had  left  upon  her 
their  unmistakable  signs.  The  old  beauty  of  coun- 

V 

tenance    had   departed.      The   elegant  style — the 
abounding  grace  of  manner — the  fascinating  speech    V 
— all  were   gone.     Only  those   to  whom   she .  had 
been  most  familiar,  recognized  in  the  pale,  serene 
countenance,  retiring  grace  and  gentle  speech  of 
Jessie  Loring,  the  once  brilliant  Mrs.  Dexter. 
And  quite  as  different  was  the  effect  she  pro- 


302     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART;  OK, 

duced  upon  those  who  came  within  the  sphere  of 
her  chastened  thoughts.  Before,  all  admired  her ; 
now,  all  who  could  draw  close  enough,  found  in  her 
speech  an  inspiration  to  good  deeds.  Some  were 
wiser — all  were  better  in  right  purposes — who  met 
her  in  familiar  intercourse.  And  the  more  inti 
mately  she  was  known,  the  more  apparent  became 
the  higher  beauty  into  which  she  had  arisen  ;  a  ce 
lestial  beauty,  that  gave  angelic  lustre  at  times  to 
her  countenance. 

To  no  one  did  she  mention  the  name  of  Hendrick- 
son.  If  she  missed  him  from  the  circles  which  had 
again  opened  to  receive  her,  none  knew  that  her 
eyes  had  ever  looked  for  his  presence.  No  one 
spoke  to  her  of  him,  and  so  she  remained  for  a  time 
in  ignorance  of  his  singular  disappearance.  A  cau 
tion  from  Mrs.  De  Lisle  to  Mrs.  Loring,  made  that 
not  over-cautious  individual  prudent  in  this  case. 

One  day  Jessie  was  visiting  Mrs.  Denison,  to 
whom  she  had  become  warmly  attached.  She  did 
not  show  her  accustomed  cheerfulness,  and  to  the 
inquiries  of  Mrs.  Denison  as  to  whether  she  was  as 
well  as  usual,  replied,  as  it  seemed  to  that  lady,  eva 
sively.  At  length  she  said,  with  a  manner  that 
betrayed  a  deep  interest  in  the  subject : 


TJ*E    LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE    LORING.  303 

• 

"  I  heard  a  strange  story  yesterday  about  an  old 
acquaintance  whom  I  have  missed — Mr.  Hendrick- 
,son." 

"•What  have  you  heard  ?"  was  inquired. 

"  That  he  left  the  city  in  a  mysterious  manner 
several  months  ago,  and  has  not  been  heard  of 
since." 

"It  is  true,"  said  Mrs.  Denison. 

"  Was  there  anything  wrong  in  his  conduct  ?" 
asked  Jessie  Loring,  her  usually  pale  face  showing 
the  warmer  hues  of  feeling. 

"  Nothing.  Not  even  the  breath  of  suspicion  has 
touched  his  good  name." 

"  What  is  the  explanation  ?" 

"  Common  rumor  is  singularly  at  fault  in  the 
case,"  replied  Mrs.  Denison.  "I  have  heard  no 
reason  assigned  that  to  me  had  any  appearance 
of  truth." 

"  Had  he  failed  in  business  ?"  asked  Miss  Lor 
ing. 

"  No.  He  was  in  a  good  business,  and  accumu 
lating  property.  But  he  sold  out,  and  converting 
all  that  he  was  worth  into  money,  took  it  with  him, 
and  left  only  his  memory  behind." 

"  Had  he  trouble  with  any  one  ?" 


304:     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT  J  OK, 

"No." 

Jessie  looked  concerned — almost  sad. 

"  I  would  like  to  know  the  reason."  She  spoke 
partly  to  herself. 

"  I  alone  am  in  possession  of  the  reason,"  said 
Mrs.  Denison,  after  a  silence  of  more  than  a  min 
ute. 

"You!" 

Thrown  off  her  guard,  Jessie  spoke  eagerly  and 
with  surprise. 

"  Yes.  He  wrote  me  a  letter  at  the  time,  stating 
in  the  clearest  terms  the  causes  which  led  to  so 
strange  a  course  of  conduct. 

"  Did  you  approve  of  his  reasons  ?"  Miss  Loring 
had  regained  much  of  her  usual  calm  exterior. 

"  I  accepted  them,"  was  answered.  "  Under  all 
the  circumstances  of  the  case,  his  course  was  proba 
bly  the  wisest  that  could  have  been  taken." 

"  Are  you  at  liberty  to  state  the  reasons  ?"  asked 
Miss  Loring. 

Mrs.  Denison  thought  for  some  time. 

"  Do  you  desire  to  hear  them  ?"  she  then  asked, 
looking  steadily  into  the  face  of  her  visitor. 

"  I  do,"  was  firmly  answered. 

"  Then  I  will  place  his  letter  to  me  in  your  hands. 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF  JESSIE   LORING.  305 

But  not  now.  When  you  leave,  it  will  be  time 
enough.  You  must  read  it  alone. 

A  sudden  gleam  shot  across  the  face  of  Jessie. 
But  it  died  like  a  transient  meteor. 

"I  will  return  home  now,  Mrs.  Denison,"  she 
said,  with  a  manner  that  showed  a  great  deal  of 
suppressed  feeling.  "You  will  excuse  me,  of 
course." 

"Cannot  you  remain  longer?  I  shall  regret 
your  going,"  said  her  kind  friend. 

"  Not  in  my  present  state  of  mind.  I  can  see 
from  your  manner  that  I  have  an  interest  in  the 
contents  of  that  letter,  and  I  am  impatient  to  know 
them." 

It  was  all  in  vain  that  Jessie  Loring  sought  to 
calm  her  feelings  as  she  returned  homeward  with 
the  letter  of  Paul  Hendrickson  held  tightly  in  her 
hand.  The  suspense  was  too  much  for  her.  On 
entering  the  house  of  her  aunt,  she  went  with  un 
usual  haste  to  her  own  room,  and  without  waiting 
to  lay  aside  any  of  her  attire,  sat  down  and  opened 
the  letter.  There  was  scarcely  a  sign  of  life  while 
she  read,  so  motionless  did  she  sit,  as  if  pulsation 
were  stilled.  After  reading  it  to  the  last  word  she 
commenced  folding  up  the  letter,  but  her  hands,  that 


306     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART J  OK, 

showed  a  slight  tremor  in  the  beginning,  shook  so 
violently  before  she  was  done,  that  the  half  closed 
sheet  rattled  like  a  leaf  in  the  /wind.  Then  tears 
gushed  over  the  letter,  falling  upon  it  like  rain. 

There  was  no  effort  on  the  part  of  Jessie  to  re 
press  this  wild  rush  of  feeling.  Her  heart  had  its 
own  way  for  a  time.  In  the  deep  hush  that  fol 
lowed,  she  bowed  herself,  and  kneeled  reverently, 
lifting  a  sad  face  and  tear-filled  eyes  upwards  with 
her  spirit  towards  Heaven.  .  She  did  not  ask  for 
strength  or  comfort — she  did  not  even  ask  for  her 
self  anything.  Her  soul's  deep  sympathies  were  all 
for  another,  towards  whom  a  long  cherished  love 
had  suddenly  blazed  up,  revealing  the  hidden  fires. 
But  she  prayed  that  at  all  times,  in  all  places,  and 
under  all  circumstances,  lie  might  be  kept  pure. 

"Give  him,"  she  pleaded,  "patient  endurance 
and  undying  hope.  Oh,  make  his  fortitude  like  the 
rock,  but  his  humanities  yielding  and  all  pervading 
as  the  summer  airs  laden  with  sweetness.  Sustain 
him  by  the  divine  power  of  truth.  Let  Thy  Word 
be  a  staff  in  his  hand  when  travel-worn,  and  a 
sword  when  the  enemy  seeks  his  life.  In  his  own 
strength  he  cannot  walk  in  this  way ;  in  his  own 
strength  he  cannot  battle  with  his  foes — but  in  Thy 


THE   LIFE-TKIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOKING.  307 

strength  he  will  be  strong  as  a  lion,  and  as  invinci 
ble  as  an  army." 

After  rising  from  her  knees,  Miss  Loring,  over 
whose  spirit  a  deep  quietude  had  fallen,  re-opened 
Hendrickson's  letter  and  read  it  again;  and  not 
once  only  but  many  times,  until  every  word  and 
sentence  were  written  on  her  memory. 

"  The  way  may  be  rough,  and  our  feet  not  well 
shod  for  the  long  journey,"  she  said,  almost  with  a 
smile  on  her  pure  face,  "  the  sky  may  be  sunless 
and  moonless,  and  thick  clouds  may  hide  even  the 
stars — but  there  are  soft  green  meadows  beyond,  and 
glorious  sunshine.  If  I  am  not  to  meet  him  here,  I 
shall  be  gathered  lovingly  into  his  arms  there,  and 
God  will  bless  the  union !" 

When  next  Mrs.  Denison  saw  this  young  martyr, 
there  was  even  a  serener  aspect  in  her  countenance 
than  before.  She  was  in  possession  of  a  secret  that 
gave  a  new  vitality  to  her  existence.  Until  now, 
all  in  regard  to  Hendrickson  had  been  vague  and 
uncertain.  Their  few  brief  but  disastrous  meet 
ings  had  only  revealed  an  undying  interest ;  but  as 
to  the  quality  of  his  love,  his  sentiments  in  regard 
to  her,  and  his  principles  of  life,  she  knew  literally 
nothing.  Now  all  was  made  clear ;  and  her  soul 


308     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  J  OK, 

grew  strong  within  her  as  she  looked  forward  into 
the  distance. 

"  I  will  keep  that  letter,"  she  said  to  Mrs.  Deni- 
son,  in  so  firm  a  voice  that  her  friend  was  surprised. 
"  It  is  more  really  addressed  to  me  than  it  is  to  you ; 
and  it  was  but  fair  that  it  should  come  into  my  pos 
session.  He  is  one  of  earth's  nobler  spirits." 

"  You  say  well,  Miss  Loring.  He  is  one  of 
earth's  nobler  spirits.  I  know  him.  How  he  would 
stand  the  fire,  I  could  not  tell.  But  I  had  faith  in 
him  ;  and  my  faith  was  but  a  prophecy.  He  has 
come  out  purified.  I  was  not  at  first  satisfied  with 
this  last  step  ;  but  on  close  reflection,  I  am  inclined 
to  the  belief  that  he  was  right.  I  do  not  think 
either  of  you  are  strong  enough  yet  to  meet.  You 
would  be  drawn  together  by  an  attraction  that 
might  obscure  your  higher  perceptions,  and  lead 
you  to  break  over  all  impediments.  That,  with 
your  views,  would  not  be  well.  There  would  be  a 
cloud  in  the  sky  of  your  happiness ;  a  spot  on 
your  marriage  garments ;  a  shadow  on  your  con 
sciences." 

"  There  would — there  would !"  replied  Miss  Lor 
ing  ;  with  sudden  feeling.  Then,  as  the  current 
grew  placid  again,  she  said  : 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF  JESSIE   LOKING.  309 

"  I  can  hardly  make  you  comprehend  the  change 
which  that  letter  has  wrought  in  me.  All  the  thick 
clouds  that  mantled  my  sky,  have  lifted  themselves 
from  the  horizon,  showing  bright  gleams  of  the  far 
away  blue  ;  and  sunrays  are  streaming  down  by  a 
hundred  rifts.  Oh,  this  knowledge  that  I  am  so 
deeply,  purely,  faithfully  loved,  trammelled  as  I  am, 
and  forbidden  to  marry,  fills  my  soul  with  happi 
ness  inexpressible.  We  shall  be,  when  the  hand  of 
our  wise  and  good  Father  leads  us  together,  and 
His  smile  falls  unclouded  upon  our  union,  more 
blessed  a  thousand  fold  than  if,  in  the  eagerness  of 
natural  impulses,  we  had  let  our  feelings  have 
sway." 

"  If  you  are  both  strong  enough,  you  will  have 
the  higher  blessing,"  was  the  only  answer  made  by 
Mrs.  Denison. 

From  that  period  a  change  in  Jessie  Loring  was 
visible  to  all  eyes.  There  came  into  her  counte 
nance  a  warmer  hue  of  health ;  her  bearing  was 
more  erect,  yet  not  self-confident ;  her  eyes  were 
brighter,  and  occasionally  the  flash  of  old-time 
thought  was  in  them.  Everywhere  she  went,  she 
attracted ;  and  all  who  came  into  familiar  inter 
course  with  her,  felt  the  sweetness  of  her  lovely 


310     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT  ;  OK, 

character.  The  secret  of  this  change  was  known 
to  but  few,  and  they  kept  it  sacred.  Not  even  Mrs. 
Loring,  the  good-hearted  aunt,  who  loved  her  with 
a  mother's  maternal  fondness,  was  admitted  into 
her  confidence,  for  she  felt  that  mere  worldliness 
would  bruise  her  heart  by  contact.  But  the  change, 
though  its  causes  were  not  seen,  was  perceived  as 
something  to  love,  by  Aunt  Phrebe,  who  felt  for 
her  niece  a  daily  increasing  attachment. 

And  so  the  weeks  moved  on ;  and  so  the  years 
came  and  went.  Little  change  was  seen  in  Jessie 
Loring ;  except,  that  the  smile  which  had  been 
restored,  gradually  grew  less,  though  it  did  not 
bear  away  the  heavenly  sweetness  from  her  coun 
tenance.  In  all  true  charities  that  came  within  her 
sphere  of  action,  whether  the  ministration  were  to 
bodily  necessities,  or  moral  needs,  she  was  an  angel 
of  mercy;  and  few  met  her  in  life's  daily  walk,  but 
had  occasion  to  think  of  her  as  one  living  very  near 
the  sources  of  Divine  love. 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LORING.  311 


CHAPTEE  XXVm. 

TEN  years  had  glided  away,  yet  not  in  all  that 
time  had  Jessie  Loririg  received  a  word  of  intelli 
gence  from  Paul  Hendrickson.  He  had  passed 
from  sight  like  a  ship  when  darkness  falls  upon  the 
ocean — the  morning  sees  her  not  again,  and  the 
billows  give  no  record  of  the  way  she  went.  But 
still  Jessie  bore  his  image  at  her  heart ;  still  her 
love  was  undimmed,  and  her  confidence  unshaken 
— and  still  she  felt  herself  bound  by  the  old 
shackles,  which  no  human  hand  could  break  from 
her  fettered  limbs. 

One  day,  about  this  time,  as  Mrs.  Denison  sat- 
reading,  a  servant  came  into  her  room  and  hand 
ing  her  a  card,  said  :  •  ^ . 

"There  is  a  gentleman  waiting  in  the  parlor  to 
see  you." 

She  looked  at  the  card,  and  started  with  surprise. 
It  bore  the  name  of  PAUL  HENDKIOKSON. 

"  My  dear  friend  !"  she  exclaimed,  grasping  both 


312     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEAKT ;  OK, 

of  his  hands,  as  she  stood  facing  him  a  few  mo 
ments  afterwards. 

"  My  best  friend !"  was  the  simple  response,  but 
in  a  voice  tremulous  with  feeling. 

A  little  while  they  stood,  gazing  curiously  yet 
with  affectionate  interest,  into  each  other's  face. 

"  You  are  not  much  changed ;  and  nothing  for 
the  worse,"  said  Mrs.  Denison. 

"  And  you  wear  the  countenance  of  yesterday," 
he  replied,  almost  fondly.  "  How  many  thousands 
of  times  since  we  parted,  have  I  desired  to  stand 
looking  into  your  eyes  as  I  do  now !  Dear  friend  ! 
my  heart  has  kept  your  memory  fresh  as  spring's 
first  offerings." 

"Where  have  you  been,  in  all  these  years  of  ab 
sence  ?"  Mrs.  Denison  asked,  as  they  sat  down, 
still  holding  each  other's  hands  tightly. 

"  Far  away  from  here  ;  but  of  that  hereafter. 
You  have  already  guessed  the  meaning  of  my  re 
turn  to  the  old  places." 

"  No." 

"  What !  Have  you  not  heard  of  Mr.  Dexter's 
decease  ?" 

"  Paul !  is  that  so  ?"  Mrs.  Denison  was  instantly 
excited. 


••      THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF  JESSIE   LORING.  313 

"  It  is.  I  had  the  information  from  a  corre 
spondent  in  London,  who  sent  me  a  paper  in  which 
was  a  brief  obituary.  He  died  nearly  three  months 
ago,  of  fever  contracted  in  a  hospital,  where  he  had 
gone  to  visit  the  captain  of  one  of  his  vessels,  just 
arrived  from  the  coast  of  Africa.  The  notice 
speaks  of  him  as  an  American  gentleman  of  wealth 
and  great  respectability." 

"  And  the  name  is  Leon  Dexter  ?"  said  Mrs. 
Denison. 

"  Yes.  There  is  no  question  as  to  the  identity. 
And  now,  my  good  friend,  what  of  Jessie  Loring  ? 
I  pray  you  keep  me  not  longer  in  suspense." 

So  wholly  absorbed  were  they,  that  the  ringing 
of  the  street  door  bell  had  not  been  heard,  nor  the 
movement  of  the  servant  along  the  passage.  Ere 
Mrs.  Denison  could  reply,  the  parlor  door  was 
pushed  quietly  open,  and  Miss  Loring  entered. 

"  She  stands  before  you !"  said  Mrs.  Denison, 
starting  up  and  advancing  a  step  or  two. 

"  Jessie  Loring !" 

Mr.  Hendrickson  uttered  the  name  slowly,  but 

in  a  voice  touched  with  the  profoundest  emotion. 

He  had  arisen,  but  did  not  advance.     She  stood 

suddenly  still,  and  held  her  breath,  while  a  pale- 

14 


314:     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEART  ;  OR, 

ness  overspread  her  features.  But  her  long  train 
ing  had  given  her  great  self-control. 

"  Mr.  Hendrickson,"  she  said,  advancing  across 
the  room. 

He  grasped  her  handy  but  she  did  not  return  the 
ardent  pressure,  though  the  touch  went  thrilling  to 
her  heart.  But  the  paleness  had  left  her  face. 

At  this  moment  Mrs.  Denison  came  forward,  and 
covering  their  clasped  hands  with  hers,  said  in  a 
low,  but  very  emphatic  voice: 

"There  is  no  impediment!  God  has  removed 
the  last  obstruction,  and  your  way  is  plain." 

Instantly  the  whole  frame  of  Miss  Loring  seemed 
jarred  as  by  a  heavy  stroke;  and  she  would  have 
fallen  through  weakness,  if  Plendrickson  had  not 
thrown  an  arm  around  her.  Bearing  her  to  a  sofa, 
he  laid  her,  very  tenderly,  in  a  reclining  position, 
witli  her  head  resting  against  Mrs.  Denison.  But 
he  kept  one  of  her  hands  tightly  within  his  own ; 
and  she  made  no  effort  to  withdraw  it. 

"  There  is  no  obstruction  now,  dear  friends,"  re 
sumed  Mrs.  Denison.  "  The  long  agony  is  over — 
the  sad  error  corrected.  The  patience  of  hope,  the 
fidelity  of  love,  the  martyr-spirit  that  could  bear 
torture,  yet  not  swerve  from  its  integrity,  are  all  to 


THE   LIFE-TRIALS   OF   JESSIE   LOKING.  315 

find  their  exceeding  great  reward1.  I  did  not  look 
for  it  so  soon.  Far  in  advance  of  the  present  I  saw 
the  long  road  each  had  to  travel,  still  stretching  its 
weary  length.  But  suddenly  the  pilgrimage  has 
ended.  The  goal  is  won  while  yet  the  sun  stands 
at  full  meridian — while  yet  the  feet  are  strong,  and 
the  heart  brave  for  endurance  or  battle.  Heroes 
are  ye,  and  this  is  my  greeting !" 

With  eyes  still  closed,  Jessie  lay  very  still  upon 
the  bosom  of  this  dear  friend.  But  oh,  what  a 
revelation  of  joy  was  in  the  sweet,  half-formed  smile 
that  arched  her  lips  with  beauty!  Hendrickson 
stood,  still  grasping  her  hand,  and  looking  down 
into  her  pure,  tranquil  face,  with  such  a  rapture 
pervading  his  soul,  that  he  seemed  as  if  entering 
upon  the  felicities  of  heaven. 

"  This  is  even  better  than  my  hopes,"  he  said, 
speaking  at  length,  but  in  a  subdued  voice. 

Jessie  opened  her  eyes,  and  now  gazed  at  him 
calmly,  but  lovingly.  "What  a  manly  presence  was 
his  !  How  wonderfully  he  was  changed  ! — Thought, 
suffering,  endurance,  virtue,  honor,  had  all  been  at 
work  upon  his  face,  cutting  away  the  earthly  and 
the  sensual,  until  only  the  lines  of  that  imperish 
able  beauty  which  is  of  the  spirit,  remained.  Every 


316     THE  HAND  BUT  NOT  THE  HEABT  ;  OB, 

well-rememberedr feature  was  there;  but  the  ex 
pression  of  his  whole  face  was  new. 

A  moment  or  two  only  did  she  look  at  him — but 
she  read  a  volume  in  love's  history  at  a  glance — 
then  closed  her  eyes  again,  and,  as  she  did  so,  gave 
back  to  the  hand  that  still  held  hers,  an  answering 
pressure. 

The  long,  long  trial  of  faith,  love  and  high  reli 
gious  principle  was  over,  and  they  were  now  stand 
ing  at  the  open  door  of  blessing. 


And  so  the  reward  came  at  last,  as  come  it 
always  does,  to  the  true,  the  faithful,  the  pure,  and 
the  loving — if  not  in  this  world,  assuredly  in  the 
next — and  the  great  error  of  their  lives  stood  cor 
rected. 

But  what  a  lesson  for  the  heart !  Oh,  is  there  a 
more  fearful  consummation  of  error  in  the  begin 
ning  of  life  than  a  wholly  discordant  marriage! 
This  mating  of  higher  and  lower  natures — of  deli 
cacy  with  coarseness — of  sensuality  with  almost 
spiritual  refinement — of  dove-like  meekness  with 
falcon  cruelty — of  the  lamb  with  the  bear!  It 
makes  the  very  heart  bleed  to  think  of  the  undying 


THE   LIFE-TKIALS   OF  JESSIE   LOEING.  317 

anguish  that  is  all  around  us,  springing  from  this 
most  frightful  cause  of  misery  ! 

In  less  than  a  month  Paul  Hendrickson  again 

departed  from  B ,  but  this  time  not  alone, 

nor  with  his  destination  involved  in  mystery.  His 
second  self  went  with  him,  and  their  faces  were 
turned  towards  a  southern  island,  where  the  earth 
was  as  rich  in  blossom  and  verdure  as  the  bride's 
heart  in  undying  love.  Here  his  home  had  been 
for  years  ;  and  here  his  name  was  an  honored  word 
among  the  people — synonymous  with  manly  in 
tegrity,  Christian  virtue,  and  true  benevolence. 

After  the  long,  fierce  battle,  peace  had  come 
with  its  tranquil  blessings.  After  the  storm,  the 
sunshine  had  fallen  in  glorious  beauty.  After  the 
night  of  suffering,  morning  had  broken  in  joy. 

We  stand  and  gaze,  with  rapt  interest,  upon  the 
river  when  it  leaps  wildly  over  the  cataract,  or 
sweeps  foaming  down  perilous  rapids,  or  rushes 
through  mountain  gorges;  but  turn  away  from 
its  quiet  beauty  when  it  glides  pleasantly  along 
through  green  savannahs.  Such  is  our  interest  in 
life.  And  so  we  drop  the  curtain,  and  close  our 
history  here. 

THE   END. 


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